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The Clitical Guide to Female Self-Pleasure: How to Please Yourself So Your Partner Can Too
The Clitical Guide to Female Self-Pleasure: How to Please Yourself So Your Partner Can Too
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The Clitical Guide to Female Self-Pleasure: How to Please Yourself So Your Partner Can Too

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If you want to see if anal masturbation might be for you, I suggest you grab those latex gloves I just told you to buy, unless of course you have a latex allergy, and some of that water-based lube, and begin to explore. Start by pressing against your perineum and see how your body reacts. The most important thing to remember with any type of anal play is that you need to relax, especially if you decide to try penetration. If you do want to go further, start by exploring your anal opening, and then gently push your finger up and inside yourself. Start gently and with plenty of lube. If it hurts, then I suggest you stop, as you are too tense to receive your finger or even the top of your finger.

Calves

For many guys your calves can be a huge turn-on. It's the one reason that there are so many pictures of women wearing high heels. High heels accentuate your calves, and if you don't believe me, grab a pair of heels, head for the nearest full-length mirror and take a look at your calves with and without the heels on your feet. Now, can you see the difference?

Exercise:

Try wearing heels that you are comfortable wearing when you are getting ready for a solo session. If you are not someone who normally wears heels you will likely feel different and as you walk past a mirror you might well find yourself admiring your legs, and seeing them in a different light.

Feet and Toes

I will state for the record here that my toes and feet do not have a sexual bone in them, but this is not true for many women. Just as some men focus on their partner’s feet and toes, some women find touching theirs can be a pleasurable experience. Others, like myself, don't, but you will never know unless you try.

Exercise:

Start by wetting your hands, and especially your fingertips, and spend some time playing with your feet and toes. Imagine your partner’s tongue lapping over and between your toes as you explore with your fingertips and see what reactions you garner from your own feet and toes.

Conclusion:

Knowing your own anatomy can be a great way to start not only understanding how your body works sexually, but also what you may or may not enjoy whilst you are playing with a partner. The exercises above are just suggestions to help you get comfortable with your own body, but if you are not comfortable trying any of them, please feel free to ignore them until you are ready. This is your body and the great thing about owning it is that you can, and should, take things at your own pace. The idea, as I’ve said before, is for you to be able to become comfortable within your own skin. Once you have achieved that goal, the sky, as they say, is the limit!

CHAPTER 2 (#u339c389a-57ec-588b-8d43-c9cac26e9c54)

Masturbation: A Brief History (#u339c389a-57ec-588b-8d43-c9cac26e9c54)

Where Did It All Begin?

It's quite likely that men and women have been masturbating since the beginning of time. In order to understand just why and how masturbation became partnered sex's ugly sister, we need to travel back in time. So I climbed into my own version of the Tardis a few years ago and travelled back into history. What follows are my findings as to why we have both the myths and stigma that may have, to some degree, dissipated, but that still hold many women back from enjoying all the pleasures their bodies are capable of achieving.

Beginning of Time: The Bible Edition

Before you get mad at me, I swear I'm not trying to be provocative here with that particular title, but it's hard to deny that religion and the belief that masturbation is wrong go hand in hand and the only way to discover why is to go back in time and find out. It would be remiss of me not to take a look at how these two things are linked.

It is often commonly assumed that The Bible specifically forbids masturbation. This belief has grown, in no small part, thanks to the story of Onan. Onan's story can be found in the book of Genesis, and to be more specific, chapter thirty-eight. In this chapter, Onan was required to marry his brother's widow and, more importantly, to provide her with a child who would then inherit his brother's estate. This was the Jewish practice at the time The Bible was penned.

Now if we look at the annotated Bible passage it, in fact, reads that since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went to his brother's wife, so that he could give no offspring to his brother.

Onan was not put to death because he was masturbating but because he was practicing the withdrawal method of birth control. He did this in order to avoid fathering a child who would never legally be his.

It would not be until the 18

century that Onan's story would be interpreted by theologians of the time, as it is often now understood to mean that masturbation was not something that should ever be practiced. We will get to the 18

century in a little while, though. We have a few other centuries and continents that we need to travel to and through before we can truly understand the history of masturbation and the myths that have resulted.

Ancient China

Philosophers and doctors in Ancient China both held the belief that ejaculation from masturbation was a waste of what was, and still is, referred to as ‘chi’. Chi was believed to be a form of energy that was vital to life, and that wasting it was never in the best interests of the patient or the person as a whole. In some of the first-ever sex manuals, which were written by Taoist masters, masturbation in men was condemned because of this belief. These same masters were also aware that women were also capable of ejaculating, or as we commonly refer to it today, ‘squirting’.

Whilst women were not specifically forbidden to masturbate, it was not a practice that was encouraged for basically the same reason as in men. Of course, we need to put this in the context of a time when women were not seen as equals in society, so their energy, or chi, was not considered to be as vital as for that of their male counterparts.

The Ancient World

Masturbation, or ‘autoerotism’, as it was often referred to in countries such as Ancient Greece and Egypt, was considered a very form of crude sexual expression. While masturbation was not specifically forbidden, it was frowned upon and thought to belong in the domain of prostitutes and lower-class citizens.

It was as early as 2000 BC that we began to see incidences of a disease that would plague the female species until the middle of the 20th century. ‘Hysteria’ in Ancient Egypt was used to describe a specific set of symptoms that included fainting, nervousness, weight loss, and depression, to name but a few. The worst symptom by far was when a woman was thought to have blood and fluid trapped in her genitals. This was also known as ‘edema’. What they were talking about was basically the female equivalent of ‘blue balls’ in guys.

Once a diagnosis of hysteria was made, there was only one option for the poor physician. He would simply massage the patient’s genitals until she orgasmed and, surprise, surprise, would receive some relief from the symptoms, all be it a temporary solution. Whilst there is no written evidence that suggests women themselves actually masturbated to help relieve the symptoms of hysteria, I think it's a pretty safe assumption that many did.

The Middle Ages

By the Middle Ages the Catholic Church was firmly established and its doctrine on masturbation was set in stone, as were most things related to sexual relations between married couples. Basically this boiled down to one thing, the only sex that was permitted was the type where the union would result in a child, or at least provided the possibility of this happening.

This was also the age where doctors became more concerned with the pollution of a person’s soul if they should decide to practice masturbation. This was especially true if you happened to be a monk or a virgin or you were considered to be a high-risk patient. The treatments they offered in order to prevent this pollution ranged from simply fasting, cold baths and sitting on stones, to actually causing the affected person to punish themselves via flagellation. It's hard to determine how successful these masturbation interventions were as there is very little written evidence either way.

Eighteenth Century

As the practice of medicine and the study of anatomy became a more established practice within and during this and subsequent eras, the hype surrounding masturbation began to grow. In 1710, for example, we saw the first real book on the subject and if the title was anything to go by it was considered a very important work! 'On the heinous sin of self-pollution, and all its frightful consequences, in both sexes, considered with spiritual and physical advice to those who have already injured themselves by this abominable practice. And to seasonable admonition to the youth of the nation (of both sexes) and those whose tuition they are under, whether parents, guardians, masters or mistresses.' I told you it was an impressive title, didn't I? This book heralded in the beginning of the modern-day campaign against masturbation that would persist well into the middle of the 20th century.

This book was by no means the only work that set out to detail the perils of masturbation or, as it was known by this time, ‘onanism’. Of all these works, probably one of the most famous was written by Swiss doctor, Simmons A.A.D. Tissot and was also given a grand title: 'Onanism: – A treatise on the diseases produced by masturbation, or the dangerous effects of secret and excessive venery.'

Tissot was the first physician to declare that the loss of the body’s vital fluids via masturbation could, and would, undoubtedly cause mental illness, as well as a litany of other symptoms and was something to be avoided at all costs.

It was during the 18th century that masturbation prohibition was practiced and encouraged by physicians, parents, and the authorities with a vigor that bordered on an obsession at times, but the prohibition would not reach its peak until the 19th century, which is where we will visit next.

Nineteenth Century

During the 19th century, and especially with the reign of Queen Victoria, the feelings against the practice of masturbation reached a fever pitch. While the Victorians are well known for their puritanical views of sex, not many people realize that masturbation was now more popularly referred to as self-abuse and this was indeed how it was viewed by many of this era. Even well-known feminists of the time would warn against the nasty habits of schoolgirls, as many women believed that if you masturbated when you were younger, you would never have the ability to grow into a proper Victorian lady.

During the 19th century the medical profession began to make great strides as regards to our understanding of the way that the body actually worked. That said, it was also very much the time of what is now referred to as ‘quackery’. Anyone could concoct a potion and claim it would cure just about any ill or affliction that took one’s fancy. As the anti-masturbation hysteria grew many quacks and the odd doctor designed a range of devices that were intended to aid parents in their quest to stop their children from the evil and dangerous practice of ‘self-pollution’.

Most of these devices were aimed at the male market, but there were a few produced with the female in mind. These, typically, would involve a chastity belt-type device or perhaps the most famous would take the form of gloves constructed of steel wool. Can you imagine sleeping with those on, let alone trying to masturbate? The anti- masturbation craze soon surfaced in the USA and particularly within the food market. It was a commonly held belief that eating spicy, rich food would fuel one’s sexual appetite, which in turn would be hard to control. As I began to look more at the history of an entire industry that was founded in no small part on these beliefs I became more and more obsessed with the humble breakfast cereal. What follows is a quick tour around how the breakfast-cereal industry came to be in America, and the impact that anti-masturbation thoughts of the time prevailed on that industry and the entire population.

Snap, Crackle, and Porn!

Whilst most people are familiar with the humble Graham Cracker, few of us know what lead to its creation, so let me enlighten you. Sylvester Graham was a Presbyterian preacher and a free-thinker. During the 1830s the typical American diet consisted of little more than red meat and blood. From his pulpit each Sunday Graham would spend many hours highlighting the perils of poor eating and masturbation. These beliefs were based on the work of Samuel Tissot and his then-famous book: Treatise on the Diseases Produced by Onanism.

As influential as Tissot was on Graham's thinking, an equally strong influence came in the shape of the English clergyman, William Metcalfe, who was the first advocate of vegetarianism in America. Again Graham interpreted Metcalfe's writings and thoughts into his own, while Metcalfe argued in favor of vegetarianism on moral grounds. Graham was more concerned with the carnal passions that eating meat produced in people. At that time the stomach was considered to be the major organ in the body, so anything that inflamed it was compared to lust. Graham actively promoted a vegetarian diet and claimed it was a cure for almost every form of human sickness. The cure consisted of sexual moderation (no more than 12 times a year for a married couple), exercise (this would help with nocturnal emissions, he told us) and a proper diet.

In the 1830s Graham took his show on the road, lecturing an inquiring public about the perils of ‘self-pollution’. As the first of its kind it had an amazing impact on the general populace and the man behind it was just as dynamic. He sought to revolutionize the diet and sexual behavior of an entire country and in many ways was successful. Graham knew his audience well and if he were alive today no doubt would make a wonderful spin doctor, given his grasp of rhetorical devices. He was a master at making claims that no one could disprove. Considering that he preached that masturbation caused its victims to become shy, suspicious, languid, unconcerned with hygiene and, in acute cases, to suffer from hysteria, you'll see how hard it would be for your average masturbator to disprove his theories.

Around 1834, Graham stopped lecturing about sexuality and turned his thoughts toward sound nutrition. The truth was, his lectures had become too unpopular for him to continue, but our friend Graham was determined to find a way to spread his thoughts. Graham believed that there were two kinds of hunger – sexual and nutritional – and that both kinds threatened good health.

As strange as this may seem to many of us today, the Graham movement was a powerful one back in the 1800s. By 1840, his public career was over but his ideology remained deeply ingrained in society and had influenced a number of bran-loving entrepreneurs. One of those was James Caleb Jackson (1814–1895), a diet expert who combined Graham’s health-reform plan with his own ideas, which mainly consisted of hydropathy. Hydropathic therapy, also known as the ‘water cure’, involved applying extremely cold water – showers, tubs, soaks, and wet-packs – to different parts of the body. Jackson's real brainstorm, however, was creating a stone-like wafer out of Graham flour and water. He called his treat ‘Granula’ and would later go down in history as having made the first cold breakfast cereal.

Graham’s legacy to the world was what we today know as the humble Graham Cracker, all be it a sweetened and processed version of the one that was served during his lifetime at the many Graham hotels and boarding houses that sprang up and catered to his devoted followers. Although Graham's career had ended, his effects on sex and nutrition teachings still remained popular and the invention by Jackson of Granula was considered a major breakthrough in medical nutrition.

Of course, back then Granula was not considered a tasty treat and was not popular at first, but Jackson, like many eminent people of the day, had an ace up his sleeve. He had a ready-made market in the form of his patients at his sanitarium in Dansville, NY, where it was served on a daily basis to the residents.

It was this sanitarium that Sister Ellen White of the Seventh Day Adventists visited and asked Jackson to duplicate his Dansville establishment in Battle Creek, Michigan, the home and world headquarters of the Seventh Day Adventist movement. This facility would later become known as the Kellogg Sanitarium, or just ‘the Sans’, but the fact is the institute was to play a key role in not only revolutionizing the American breakfast but also the ideas behind health, nutrition, and sex.

When Sister White first opened the Sans she, too, was considered a health reformer. Inspired by Jackson and Graham, she too published a book on masturbation in 1864 called, An Appeal to Mothers: The Great Cause of the Physical, Mental and Moral Ruin of Many of the Children of Our Time. As we can see from the passage below, even though this text was written by a woman, women were still regarded as the weaker sex.

‘Females possess less vital force than the other sex, and are deprived very much of the bracing, invigorating air, by their indoors life. The results of self-abuse in them is seen in various diseases, such as catarrh, dropsy, headache, loss of memory and sight, great weakness in the back and loins, afflictions of the spine, the head often decays inwardly. Cancerous humor, which would lay dormant in the system their lifetime, is inflamed, and commences its eating, destructive work. The mind is often utterly ruined, and insanity takes place.’

Sister White, although intelligent, proved to be no leader and the Sans floundered for about ten years until a quirky young doctor named John Harvey Kellogg took over daily operations. Kellogg was another Graham disciple and advocate. He was also highly regarded within the Adventists for his hard-hitting medical journalism. Unlike Graham, he openly embraced medical science and was constantly experimenting with wholegrain foods. Two years into the job, he invented the first Battle Creek health treat, which consisted of a mixture of oatmeal and corn meal baked into biscuits and then ground into bits.

For some reason he decided to call his treat ‘Granula’, a strange decision when you consider that the only other cereal on the market was also called Granula. Once they finished suing him, Kellogg took the decision to rename his new product ‘Granola’. Granola wasn't the only delicacy that was served to the inmates of the Sans. Other specialties included caramel cereal coffee, Bulgarian yogurt and meat substitutes.

At one point in his career Kellogg concentrated his research solely on nuts. He wrote a paper entitled ‘Nuts May Save the Race’. During this period of his studies he is believed to have invented peanut butter as well as malted nuts. As strange as it may seem now, this bland diet helped turn around the fortunes of the once-failing Sans. Kellogg believed that most of the patients admitted to the Sans simply suffered from Americanitis and the remedy was simply a change in diet. The cure rate at the Sans was remarkably high simply because no one who was seriously ill was ever admitted. Kellogg never admitted any chronic masturbators to the Sans, either. This suited his purpose and like Graham he continued to preach the doom and gloom of such abhorrent practices.

For example, on the night of his honeymoon, Kellogg spent his time writing his most famous book, Plain Facts for Old and Young, a Warning on the Evils of Sex. This book featured an amazing collection of symptoms and cures for the curse known as ‘self-pollution’ as well as covering all important sexual ills of the time, but self- pollution was by far the biggest. In this book, he included the 39 signs that would indicate to an outsider that someone in fact masturbated. The fact that this list covers just about anyone who even vaguely looks human was no accident. For example:

Sleeplessness, love of solitude, bashfulness, unnatural boldness, confusion of ideas, capricious appetite, use of tobacco, and acne.

This was a clever ploy from his point of view. Just as Graham had done before him, it was extremely difficult for anyone to prove the theories wrong. Dr Kellogg was never wrong, his way was the only way and to prove a point, although he married he never consummated his marriage to Ells Eaton and they lived in separate apartments. This was supposed to prove that sexual relationships were not necessary to obtain good health.

It's quite likely, though, that the doctor was in some way dysfunctional (one book suggests he had mumps). After breakfast every morning, he had an orderly give him an enema. This may mean he had klismaphilia, an anomaly of sexual functioning traceable to childhood in which an enema substitutes for regular sexual intercourse. For the klismaphile, putting the penis in the vagina is experienced as hard, dangerous, and repulsive work.

Whatever the reasons for his beliefs, they had long-lasting effects on society and many of the myths that still surround masturbation can be directly attributed to his way of thinking. The Sans became more and more famous and Dr Kellogg himself became something of a demagogue. He began to concentrate less on his fundamental beliefs and more on scientific facts and theories.

A major step in this direction came when a patient showed him a little wheat mattress a friend had sent her to aid her digestive problems. Invented by Henry Perky from Denver, they were what we now know as Shredded Wheat. At this time Shredded Wheat was not thought of as a breakfast food. Originally it was a main course, a natural food that followed the true Grahamite tradition. As well as the original Shredded Wheat there was a whole host of recipes associated with this biscuit. These ranged from banana croquettes with Shredded Wheat to cheese and Shredded Wheat toast – the list was endless. Perky even founded a scientific institute devoted to training demonstrators on how to educate the ordinary housewife on its uses.

In the humble Shredded Wheat the good Dr Kellogg saw the potential for the first ready-to-eat breakfast cereal and went about creating his own. After much experimentation he came up with Granose, the first flaked wheat cereal. Once again the Sans featured heavily in the development of this little wonder flake. As Kellogg put his ideas into commercial production he met with some stiff opposition, not least from Perky himself, who wasn't about to let anyone rip off his invention and had taken no less than 47 patents out with regards to Shredded Wheat. The effect of the cereal wars was that Battle Creek exploded with cereal and health-food manufacturers and almost overnight the place became known as ‘cereal central’. Many more wars ensued in the battle for the cereal that would rid the world of all its ailments.

John Kellogg was finally forced to turn the ailing Kellogg’s company over to his brother, William, who although he had worked at the Sans with John, had little interest in curing the public of bad eating habits and masturbation but in making money. So was born the Kellogg’s brand as we now know it today, but its original founder left his legacy in the myths that still surround masturbation to this day.

Late 19th Century to early 20th Century

Remember, as far back as Ancient Egyptian times we saw the emergence of the medical but vague term ‘hysteria’. At the same time as Kellogg’s and Graham were busy producing cornflakes and crackers, the medical profession was busy curing women of what was thought to be the often life-threatening disease known as, you guessed it, ‘hysteria’. Just as in Ancient Egypt, this disease only afflicted the female sex and caused a myriad symptoms, running the gamut from anxiety, irritability, nervousness, feelings of heaviness in the lower abdomen, sleepiness, to name but a few. Of course nowadays we recognize ‘hysteria’ for what it actually is: horniness.

Back then, though, the cure for hysteria was a simple one. Doctors would manually masturbate their female patients to orgasm. Of course the end results were not called ‘orgasms’; instead they would be referred to as ‘paroxysms’. As you can imagine, this was, in many cases, a time-consuming cure, and often a temporary one. Can you imagine how tired these doctors’ hands must have been?

So, being as this was the start of the Industrial Revolution, nothing was, or at least seemed, impossible and in order to relieve their cramped hands, many doctors turned to mechanical methods to help their patients reach the desired state of paroxysm. Unfortunately these machines were often poorly constructed and caused injury to the patient, but, as is often the case, electricity came to the rescue. In 1880, more than a decade before the invention of the electric iron and vacuum cleaner, an enterprising English physician, Dr Joseph Mortimer Granville, patented the electromechanical vibrator.

The vibrator was an immediate hit with doctors and patients alike and at the turn of the century, as electricity became more widely available across American homes, the humble, if often scary by today's standards, electric vibrator became a staple in many homes. Of course, when you consider this was a time when women were still considered the ‘fairer sex’, the actual use for the vibrator had to be disguised. Many popular magazines of the time would sell them as ‘personal massagers’, although their actual use was not exactly a well-kept secret.

For a while electric vibrators were acceptable and commonplace in most American homes, but that would change with the advent of the silent movie. Silent movies were not just used to make Charlie Chaplin a superstar of his time, but also by some enterprising young men, who saw their potential to provide pornographic images. As the trade in pornography grew and images of what were considered loose, wanton women using the humble electric vibrator began to grow, the popularity of the Personal Massager became tarnished and over time vibrators all but disappeared from the American home. For now…

Late 20h Century

In spite of anti-masturbation zealots like Graham and Kellogg, masturbation was by all accounts still a popular, if secret, pastime. During the 1940s and ‘50s the interest in people's sexual habits began to grow, at least from a scientific and medical standpoint. The most famous of the early pioneers of American sexuality, who was not afraid to ask Americans about their sexual habits was Alfred Kinsey. His work in the ‘40s and ‘50s included studies that asked Americans what were then considered shocking questions, such as, did they masturbate to orgasm? These studies revealed that at the time 94 per cent of American men who were asked did masturbate to orgasm, while approximately 40 per cent of American women reported that they also masturbated. Kinsey's research was, at the time, groundbreaking and in many ways opened the doors to modern-day sexual research.

In the early 1970s there was a veritable explosion in the interest surrounding America's bedroom habits. By this time we had seen the sexual revolution, women had access to the Pill and the feminist movement was gaining momentum, all of which help contribute to that interest. For example: Shere Hite surveyed 1,000,000 American women and the results were then published in a report that was known as the Hite Report. This was a document consisting of 510 pages that detailed the masturbation habits of the respondents. Whenever I go back and read the Hite Report of 1976, I'm always struck by how little attitudes to masturbation have changed since that report was done. Many of the answers to the survey mirror questions and comments I get from Clitical visitors to this day. Many women back then reported a feeling of guilt, even when they physically enjoyed the act of masturbating, and any subsequent orgasm, but we will delve into that subject a little later. What Hite did discover was this: 82 per cent of those who responded to the survey reported masturbating, so women were doing it for themselves, albeit then often feeling guilty about it.

At the same time as Hite was moving and shaking the world of female sexuality, another prominent figure was also emerging. Betty Dodson, who is now often referred to as the 'mother of masturbation’.Dodson was busy at this time extolling the benefits of masturbation, and yet her teaching encompassed so much more. Dodson would actively encourage women to embrace their vulvas and to stop thinking of them as something dirty, instead realizing that they were as unique and beautiful as their owners. I can recall the first time I ever saw her now-famous collection of pictures that, as an artist, she had drawn. Each one depicted a real woman's vulva and highlighted beautifully that every one was different. Dobson was the first sex educator to actively promote the use of the vibrator when it came to masturbation.

During the ‘70s and ‘80s we began to see a slight change in attitudes toward masturbation in general. Whilst it was still not something that you could openly discuss with your parents, or even your friends, the shame and guilt that for so long had been a part of something that was a natural and healthy act of sexuality began to subside, at least a little.

This change in the ‘90s, when we once more saw something of a backlash against not just masturbation, but open sexuality in general, culminated in an incident that featured the then Surgeon General, Jocelyn Elders, who agreed that masturbation should be included in any meaningful sex education programs that were to be taught in either schools or colleges across the USA. A common misconception about that incident was that Dr Elders was condoning masturbation. She was, in fact, merely agreeing with the finding of the day as opposed to actually recommending or promoting masturbation. As a result of the media coverage of this event, President Clinton was left with little choice but to ask Dr Elders to step down from her post.

As is often the case when an incident such as the detailed one above occurs, there is a backlash. In this case that backlash took the form of one of the earlier female-friendly sex-toy stores in San Francisco, ‘Good Vibrations’, taking a stand. They declared that from May 1995 henceforth, May would be forever known as Masturbation Month and this is still the case at the time of writing. The masturbation movement was just getting underway, though, and when ‘Good Vibrations’, ‘Babeland’ and ‘Grand Opening’ teamed up in 1999, creating the very first national, Masturbation-a-Thon. The first of these events took place at San Francisco's campus theater and has, over the years, raised money for many sex-positive-based charities. In 2006, London held its first-ever live Masturbate-a-Thon, with Montreal, Canada, following suit in May 2013. All of these events have raised the profile of the much-maligned practice of masturbation and helped to shape modern-day attitudes toward masturbation.

Conclusion:

Whew, that was one journey! But as you can see from this brief and somewhat abbreviated history of masturbation, it is slowly becoming more acceptable, though there is a lot of work yet to be done before we can say it is acceptable to masturbate or, more importantly, to discuss the subject amongst our peers. It’s also possible to see where many of the myths that surround self-pleasure and I figured it might be a good time to look at some of the more popular and persuasive ones that still persist.

CHAPTER 3 (#ulink_c77a1e05-1967-5231-a713-0bc2bea7761c)

Masturbation Myths and Realities (#ulink_c77a1e05-1967-5231-a713-0bc2bea7761c)

According to Webster’s dictionary the definition of a myth is this:'a widely held but false belief or idea.' And, as we saw when we took our spin back in time, masturbation at various times has not just been considered as dangerous, but in some cases fatal. So if you think about it, it kind of makes sense that so many myths would have grown up around the practice. I'm pretty sure that you are familiar with many of these myths, but just in case, let's take a quick look at some of the more common ones.

You will go blind

You will grow hair on the palms of your hands

You will no longer be a virgin

It's dirty

It will stunt your growth.

Now consider this for a moment. If, according to the Hite Report, around 80 per cent of women choose to masturbate at some stage in their lives, the female species, as we know it, should consist of blind, hairy-palmed midgets. I think it's fair to say that I have just made my point that for the most part these myths are just that, myths, or stories told by parents to curtail their young offspring from engaging in a practice that they honestly believed would cause them real harm. These stories have persisted over generations and in many cases have taken on a life of their own.

While on the surface these myths often sound funny when applied to our modern-day lives, what they can do is lead to a great degree of guilt still being felt by a large percentage of the female population. It's also worth noting, as we discovered earlier, that the majority of these myths were directed at the guys and, to some degree, they still are. We have a tendency to forget that it has only been over the last hundred or so years that women have been seen as anywhere near equal to men and this is also true in the world of sex. Women and their sexual habits were just not as important as those of their male counterparts, and it's easy to see why much of the older sexuality texts were focused on the guys.

This is No Joke

These myths have now been swallowed, in the most part, by popular culture and, in fact, many have been turned into jokes. Masturbation has turned from something to be ashamed of to something to be ridiculed. For example: if you masturbate it's because you can't get a man. If you masturbate it's because you are ugly. If you masturbate it's because you are desperate.

These are forms of myths as well, but they are myths that have been disguised in the form of being humorous, or simply a joke, in most instances. We have even created an entire new set of words for not only masturbation itself, but most of the parts of our body that are thought of as sexual. As this book is about female masturbation, let's take a look at some of the terms that have been submitted by Clitical visitorsover the years to describe the act of masturbation.

The Top Terms for Female Masturbation

Battery testing, Beat the clit, Bop, Bruise the beaver, Buff the muff, Butter the biscuit, Churn the butter, Club the clam, Clit flicking, Clit pick, Deck the nun, Dial ‘o’ on the pink telephone, Diddle yourself, Dig your own hole, Double-click your mouse, Feed the beaver, Feel the love, Finger bang old Mary Rotten Crotch, Finger fuck, Finger the bottle, Finger the love hole, Finger yourself, Finger your pussy, Flick the bean, Flick the flab, Flip the clit, Flip your flossy, Frigging, Get lost in the deep end, Get your fingers wet, Go knuckle deep, Jill off, Jillin’, Juicin’ out, Knitting, Lip Curlin’, Make love juice, Mine the hole, Part the pink sea, Pat the bunny, Pat the little man in the canoe, Pedicure the camel toes, Perfume the fingers, Pet the kitty, Play piano, Play with the cat, Play the hairy banjo, Play with your remote control, Play with your yo-yo, Poke the flounder, Polish the pearl, Praise the kooter, Pump your puni, Punch Jerry Garcia in the face, Push the love button, Ride the two-finger cowboy, Rough the muff, Rub off, Rub it, Rub the button, Rub the elf, Rub the love lips, Rub the nub, Rub the pussy, Scratch the snatch, Sing in the shower, Slap the lips, Slippin’ the kitten, Snuff the muff, Spank the kitty, Squeeze Mary, Squeeze the bean, Stroke the kitty, Stroke the nub, Tease the tuna taco, Tender the meat curtains, Think pink, Tickle clitty, Tickle the twat, Touch type, Touchy touch, Two-finger salute.

The one thing I think that really sticks out as you read through these names, is that none of them portray female masturbation in a good light. Several could even be described as downright distasteful, and yet they exist. The worst part is that many of these terms are used by women as a way to avoid uttering the dreaded ‘M’ word and I personally think that's a shame. When we disguise something by using a different term, what we do is give it new meaning. While declaring to your friends that you are off to polish your pearl, or flick your bean, what you are actually saying is, ‘I masturbate, but I'm still too embarrassed to use the proper word, instead I prefer to dress it up in a neat, tidy package, or as an inside joke.’


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