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“What is the church doing to help?” Rebecca knew their community would rally around the Bowman family.
“A group of men have volunteered to repair the building, but Isaac won’t let them start until everyone is finished with their harvest or the weather puts a stop to the field work. I’m sure the church will take up a collection to help cover his medical expenses next Sunday.”
Rebecca’s finances were meager, but she would give what she could. “What else can we do to help?”
“Why don’t we each fix a meal and take it over. That would lighten Anna’s burden.”
“That’s a fine idea. I’ll make up a casserole and bake another carrot cake for dessert.” She finished slicing the one in front of her and slid two pieces onto the white plates she had waiting. She carried them to the table where her mother joined her. Her mother stopped in to visit every Tuesday afternoon, and Rebecca always made something special to share with her.
Her mother smiled and took a seat. She forked a bite into her mouth and sighed. “I like your carrot cake almost as much as I like Anna’s gooseberry preserves. It’s too bad the Lord gave Anna all sons and left her without daughters to help in the house. And such troublesome boys, too. I remember how humiliated she was when Luke and Joshua were arrested on drug charges. My heart ached for her. I don’t know how she bore it.”
“Joshua was wrongly accused.”
Mother pointed a finger at Rebecca. “But Luke wasn’t. An Amish fellow selling drugs, what is the world coming to?” She clasped her hand to her chest and shook her head making the ribbons of her white kapp jiggle.
Rebecca chose to ignore her mother’s dramatic flair. “Luke repented and has remained a solid member of the church. We should not speak harshly of him.”
Her mother’s lower lip turned down in a pout. She stabbed her fork into her cake. “I wasn’t speaking harshly. I was merely stating a fact.”
“Joshua married a lovely girl last month. Surely his wife is helping Anna.”
“They are still away on their wedding trip. Anna has two sisters near Arthur, Illinois. The newlyweds are staying with them and visiting cousins in the area. Anna wrote and told them not to cut their visit short. Verna thinks it was a foolish thing to say. I agree.”
Rebecca thought back to her own wedding trip. She cherished every moment of the time she and Walter spent getting to know each other’s families. Her marriage might have been short, but it had been sweet. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, but she blinked them away. He was only out of her sight for a little while. Someday, they would be together again in Heaven. Until then, she would live her life as God willed.
“I saw John at the market. He asked about you.” The tone of her mother’s voice changed ever so slightly.
Rebecca braced herself for the coming conversation. “How is my brother-in-law?”
“Lonely.”
A twinge of pity pushed Rebecca’s defenses lower. “He told you that?”
“He didn’t have to say it. It was easy to see. His wife has been gone for three years. He has to be lonely. You’re lonely, too. You try to hide it from me, but I’m not blind. I don’t know why you won’t consider marrying John. Everyone in his family is for it.”
Rebecca concentrated on her cake. “It’s barely been two years since Walter died. I know everyone thinks it’s a good idea, but I’m not ready.” Would she ever be?
Her mother reached across the table and covered Rebecca’s hand with her own. “Walter loved you. He loved his brother. He would want to see you both happy.”
How could she be happy with someone other than her beloved? He was the yardstick by which she measured every man. None could come close to the sweet kindness in his voice, the tender touch of his hand, the sparkle that sprang to his eyes each time he caught sight of her. No one could replace him, but her mother was right about one thing. The loneliness was sometimes hard to bear.
“Walter would want to see you holding a babe of your own. Don’t let your sadness rob you of that joy. You aren’t getting any younger.”
“I’m only twenty-five. I’ve got time.” Rebecca’s dreams of a family had died with Walter. She mourned that loss almost as much as she mourned her husband. If only they had been blessed with a child, then she would have been able to keep a part of Walter close to her heart and she wouldn’t be so alone.
Her mother sat back and picked up her fork again. “Time has a way of slipping by us unnoticed, Rebecca. Don’t throw this chance away. Give John some encouragement. You could have children of your own, companionship, security. I don’t want you to be alone all your life.”
Was her mother right? Should she consider remarrying, if not for love, for the blessings a family would bring?
Rebecca studied the cake in front of her. She did want children. She liked John, but was that enough? Could she grow to love him in time? Not as she had loved Walter, of course, but enough to be content in her later years?
“I’ll think about it.” That would satisfy her mother and allow Rebecca to change the painful subject.
“Goot. I’ve invited him and his folks for supper on Sunday after church services. I’m sure the two of you can find a few minutes alone. Are you still working for the Stutzman family?”
Rebecca shook her head as much at her mother’s blatant attempt to manipulate her as to answer her question. “Nee, Mrs. Stutzman’s mother arrived to help with the children and the new baby. I’m unemployed again.”
She wasn’t a trained nurse, but her experience caring for her husband during his long illness had taught her a great deal. She put that knowledge to use helping others in the community such as new mothers or those with infirm elderly family members who required extra attention. Sometimes an English family would hire her, too. It wasn’t steady work, but she found it rewarding. It kept the loneliness at bay and kept her from being a burden on her mother or the church community. She knew they would provide for her, but she hated accepting help when she was able to work.
“So you will be home now.”
Rebecca nodded. “Until I find another job.”
“Goot, you are free to visit with John whenever he wants. I’ll let him know.”
Rebecca closed her eyes. “Mamm, don’t pester the man.”
“He’s always happy to hear from me. You wouldn’t need to work at all if you married again. John makes a nice living as a farrier. His first wife never complained.”
Rebecca cast her mother a beseeching glance. “I’m sure a horseshoer in an Amish community earns a decent wage. Can we drop the subject now?”
Her mother shrugged. “I don’t know why you are so touchy about it. You’re going to let a good man slip out of your grasp if you aren’t careful. I’m simply trying to steer you in the right direction.”
Rebecca was saved from replying by the arrival of a horse and buggy that pulled up to the gate outside. The interruption was welcome. “I wonder who that is?”
“I’m sure I don’t know who it could be.”
Her mother’s feigned innocence caused Rebecca to look at her sharply. “Did you invite John over today?”
“It’s no sin to be friendly.”
Rebecca cringed inside, braced for an awkward afternoon and then opened the door. But it wasn’t her brother-in-law. Isaac Bowman stood hat in hand on her small front porch.
He nodded to her. “Goot day, Rebecca. I hope I haven’t come at a bad time.”
She stepped back. “Not at all. Won’t you come in, Isaac? My mother and I were just enjoying some cake and coffee. Would you care to join us?”
“I’d rather say what I’ve come to say and not waste time.”
Rebecca stepped out onto the porch with him. “As you please. I’ve only just heard about Samuel. I’m very sorry.”
“Danki. That is why I’ve come. I want to offer you a job. My wife needs a live-in helper until Samuel recovers. She is having trouble managing the store and the house with him abed. Noah normally works in the store in the afternoons but I’ll need all my sons in the fields when we start harvesting.”
“Can’t you close the store for a time? I’m sure your customers will understand. Or hire someone to work in it for your wife.”
“I could, but I’d rather not. You will think I’m cruel, but my wife needs to get away from Samuel. Away from thinking she must do everything for him. I know you took care of Emil Troyer before he passed away. The old man was blind, so you have had some experience with a sightless person. Please say you will help us, at least through the corn harvest. Anna won’t listen to me, but she knows you have experience with sick folks. She might listen to you. If you can’t help, maybe you could suggest someone else.”
Rebecca glanced over her shoulder. Her mother was scowling and shaking her head. If only her mother hadn’t latched on to the idea of pushing John and her together. Rebecca didn’t want to spend the next days and weeks thinking of excuses to avoid him. A new job was exactly what she needed. She graced Isaac with a heartfelt smile. “I can start today if you don’t mind waiting while I gather a few things.”
His expression flashed from shocked to pleased. “I don’t mind at all. Danki, Rebecca. You are an answer to my prayers.”
* * *
Samuel waited impatiently for his brother to adjust the pillows behind him. As usual, Luke was moving with the speed of cold molasses. With his eyes covered by thick dressings, Samuel had to depend on his hearing to tell him what was going on around him. Maybe forever.
If he didn’t regain his sight, his days as a master carver were over. He wouldn’t be of any use in the fields. He wouldn’t be much use to anyone.
He refused to let his thoughts go down that road. He prayed for healing, but it was hard to seek favor from God when he had no idea why God had visited this burden on him. He heard Luke shaking the pillows and then finally felt him slide them into place.
“There. How’s that?”
Samuel leaned back. It wasn’t any better, but he didn’t say that. It wasn’t Luke’s fault that he was still in pain and that his eyes felt as if they were filled with dry sand. After six days, Samuel was sick and tired of being in bed and no amount of pillow fluffing would change that, but he didn’t feel like stumbling around in front of people looking hideous, either. Only his mouth had been left free of bandages. He chose to stay in bed to avoid having others see him like this, but he didn’t have to like it.
He licked his swollen and cracked lips, thankful that he could speak. The doctor thought he must have thrown up his hands and that protected his lower face to a small degree. “It’s fine. Is there water handy?”
“Sure.”
Something poked his tender lip. He jerked away.
“Sorry,” Luke said. “Here is your water.”
Samuel opened his mouth and closed it around the drinking straw when he felt it on his tongue. He took a few long swallows and turned his head aside. He was helpless as a baby and growing weaker by the day. His legs and his back ached from being in bed, but he didn’t want to blunder around the room and risk hurting his hands in another fall. One was enough.
Luke put the glass on the bedside table. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Do you want me to fluff the pillows under your hands?”
Before Samuel could answer, Luke pulled the support from beneath his right arm. Intense pain shot from Samuel’s his fingertips to his elbow. He sucked in a harsh breath through clenched teeth.
“Sorry. I’m so sorry.” Luke gently placed Samuel’s bandaged hand back on the pillow. “Did that hurt?”
Samuel panted and willed the agony to subside. The pain was never gone, but it could die down to a manageable level if he was still. “I don’t need anything else.”
“Are you sure?” Luke asked.
“I’m sure,” Samuel snapped. He just wanted to be left alone. He wanted to see. He wanted to be whole. He wanted the pain to stop.
He caught the sound of hoofbeats outside his open bedroom window and the crunch of buggy tires on the gravel. His father must be home. A few minutes later, he heard the outside door open and his mother’s voice. She must have closed the store early.
“Mamm is back.” The relief in Luke’s voice was almost comical except Samuel was far from laughing. He heard his brother’s footsteps retreat across the room. At least he was safe from Luke’s help for a little while. Their mother was a much better caretaker. She could be smothering at times, but her heart was in the right place. Like a child afraid of the dark, he found her voice soothing and her hands comforting.
An itch formed in the middle of Samuel’s back. With both hands swaddled in thick bandages, he couldn’t reach to scratch it. He tried rubbing against the pillow, but it didn’t help. “Luke, wait.”
His brother’s footsteps were already fading as he raced downstairs. Samuel tried to ignore the pricking sensation, but it only grew worse. “Luke! Mamm! Can someone come here?”
It seemed like an eternity, but he finally heard his mother’s voice from the foot of the stairs. “I’m here, Samuel, and I’ve brought someone to see you.”
He groaned as he heard the stairs creak. The last thing he wanted was company. “I’m not up to having visitors.”
“Then it’s a pity I’ve come all this way.” The woman’s voice was low, musical and faintly amused. He had no idea who she was.
Chapter Two (#ulink_6424e8ce-d0ce-5811-9062-4df9081f1cf0)
Samuel cringed. He hated people seeing him this way. Was this another gawker like the last girl who had come to help? All Gemma Yoder could do was sob at the sight of his bandages and burned peeling skin. She’d been worse than no help at all. Thankfully, his mother had quickly sent her packing.
“It’s Rebecca Miller,” his mother said. He could tell she wasn’t pleased.
He heard them move closer. He knew the name even if he didn’t know the woman well. “Walter Miller’s widow?”
“Ja. Walter was my husband.” The tone of her voice changed slightly. Samuel sensed the loss beneath her words. Why would she visit him? They barely knew each other. She wasn’t one of his mother’s friends. It was common for Amish neighbors to help each other, but she didn’t live close by.
“Thank you for coming, but as I said, I’m not up to company.”
“I can see that. Why are you still in bed?”
“He’s in bed because he was badly burned. I’m sure my husband told you that,” his mother chided. “Samuel, your father has hired Rebecca to help us for the next few weeks.”
No wonder she was upset. He had overheard her telling his father that she didn’t need or want someone to help with his care after the last woman left. His father rarely went against his wife’s wishes. Why this time? Samuel rubbed his back against the pillow still trying to ease that itch. “I’m glad you will have help in the store.”
He caught a whiff of a fresh scent that reminded him of spring flowers. Amish women didn’t wear perfume, so perhaps it was the shampoo she used. His sense of smell had become more acute since the accident. Whatever it was, he liked the delicate fragrance, but he didn’t like visitors.
“Lean forward.” When she spoke, she was close beside him.
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
That was bossy. He did as she said and was immediately rewarded by her fingers scratching the exact spot that had been driving him crazy. How did she know?
“I’m not familiar with what it takes to run a store, but I do know how to care for sick people. You should be up and out of bed unless you want to end up with pneumonia on top of everything else. Anna, you know this. Why are you letting him be so lazy?”
Her mild scolding annoyed him. “I’m not steady on my feet. Mother knows that.”
“Ah, the explosion addled your brain,” Rebecca said as if discovering something important.
“My brain is fine. It’s my eyes and my hands that were injured. I can’t catch myself if I start to fall.”
“Rebecca, Samuel needs constant care. He will be up when he’s ready.” He felt his mother smooth the covers over his feet and tuck them in.
“He won’t ever be ready if you coddle him, Anna.”
“She isn’t coddling me,” he snapped. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t use his hands. He needed help with everything. Couldn’t she see that for herself?
“Then you should move downstairs so your mother doesn’t have to run up here every time you call. You aren’t trying to make things more difficult for her, are you?”
“He’s not making things difficult for me,” his mother said quickly. “I don’t know why my husband thinks I need help. I’m managing fine.”
“Hello? Is anyone about? Anna, is the store open?” a woman’s voice called from downstairs.
“Ja, we are open. Just a moment,” his mother answered.
