I Will Survive

Nick raised his eyebrows at Jessie and she caught her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Okay,” she whispered, smiling excitedly at her own daring.

Nick held out the stick and Jessie hesitated for a second, then she reached out and plucked off a grub, closing her eyes as she popped it into her mouth.

It was succulent and sweet, like a ball of crackling pork.

Jessie opened her eyes as she chewed it. “This is delicious,” she said. She looked at Cindi. “Seriously. You should try one.”

Cindi put up her hands. “No offence, but I just met you and, frankly, I don’t believe you.”

Poor Malcolm was almost quivering with the desire to display his grit, so Nick took pity on him and handed him the stick. Malcolm removed a grub and then paused, a frown shadowing his round face.

“Are these high in cholesterol?”

JESSIE SMOTHERED ANOTHER yawn as she watched the dancing flames. She’d thought she might go exploring after dinner but in the end she just didn’t feel like moving from the fireside.

It was her first chance to really think about what she’d let herself in for. Her expectations and hypotheses had been inadequate preparation. In her imagination the other contestants had been mere ciphers, just background figures in Jessie’s adventure with Nick Garrett. A few short hours with them had cured her of that misconception. They were real people, with their own personalities and their own agendas.

Throughout dinner and afterwards, Jessie had been quietly studying them, trying to work out why they had been picked out of the thousands of people who had entered the competition.

Malcolm was so innocuous and eager to please that Jessie had come to the conclusion that he was there simply because he was the embodiment of Everyman. He was ordinary and human and easy to identify with.

And Cindi was obviously the sassy, worldly, city girl—a part she seemed more than happy to play.

But if they were dealing with stereotypes, what role had Jessie been drafted for?

She raised her eyes from the fire and stole a quick glance at Nick. He was whittling efficiently at some sticks, creating rudimentary forks and spoons out of pieces of wood. Jessie looked down again, grappling with her thoughts.

To her dismay, the mild crush she had on Nick Garrett, TV personality, had transferred itself directly onto Nick Garrett, actual person. Jessie had been prepared to be somewhat awed and starstruck on meeting him at first but she’d presumed it would only be a temporary imbalance. Unfortunately, there was no sign of it dissipating. She was trying to act normal but her heart still took on an erratic beat whenever their eyes met, and her capacity for putting together sentences, which she’d always taken for granted, seemed to desert her whenever he was around.

It was especially horrible because it was just so clichéd. He had all the ingredients for a male fantasy figure. His features weren’t perfect but somehow they added up to a face that was warm and welcoming. His eyes were very clear and intelligent and his mouth always seemed to be on the verge of a smile, even when things were going from bad to worse, as they occasionally did on his show. He was friendly, easygoing and genuine and Jessie found herself utterly tongue-tied in his presence.

Her only consolation was that she didn’t think it was showing.

Up until now.

Now that she was alone with him, things were becoming strained. Malcolm had gone off eagerly to do his time with the confession camera and, when the dinghy had come to pick up Kenny for the night, Cindi had volunteered to walk him down to the shore—and Jessie still wasn’t sure what that was about.

Jessie and Nick hadn’t talked for over ten minutes and while Nick seemed unperturbed by the silence Jessie was desperately searching for something to say. She kept coming up with lighthearted conversation topics and then discarding them because they seemed trite or forced and the more time that passed the more pressured she felt. She’d been so glad when the others had left them alone and now she was just praying for their return. A movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Nick holding up the spoons.

“No more eating with shells,” he said cheerfully.

“Yes,” said Jessie. There was a painful pause and then she added, “Indeed.” She smiled inanely and looked out towards the shore. She could see Cindi chatting to Kenny and the crewman who had come to collect him. What was that girl up to?

Jessie looked back at Nick, realizing in a rush that there was something that needed to be said.

“Uh, look, I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier, when I came ashore. I know you were only trying to help.”

Nick glanced up. “That’s okay. I’m sorry I tried to save your life.”

Jessie blinked. She hadn’t expected sarcasm.

Nick put his hand to his head and let out a low laugh. “No, wait a minute, that came out wrong.”

Jessie smiled, feeling an odd surge of affection at his embarrassment.

“I really didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” he went on. “I promise. I’m sorry, too. Sorry that we got off on the wrong foot.”

“I can see how easily you might have thought I was in trouble,” Jessie said generously. “You were right to try and save me. Better safe than sorry.”

He shook his head in mock regret. “I don’t know. At the time I thought you were going to start whacking me with your bag. I was about to throw you back in.”

Jessie laughed.

“Of course, now I know why you were so anxious to rescue that bag,” said Nick. Jessie nodded smugly, at last beginning to feel the possibility that she might make friends with Nick.

“I hope Lois doesn’t get too mad,” she said.

Nick tilted his head quizzically and then she saw comprehension dawn on his features.

“You smuggled those onshore,” he said.

Jessie nodded, pleased by Nick’s obvious admiration.

She didn’t even notice Cindi’s return.

“What are you looking so happy about?” said Cindi.

Jessie flushed. “What? What do you mean?”

“Relax,” said Cindi, “I was just asking.” She sat down on the log next to Nick and leaned over to nudge him playfully with her shoulder. “I’m afraid that I might have interrupted a little tête-à-tête.”

Jessie wanted to go over and push Cindi off the log. Nothing sophisticated, just push her so she went ass over teakettle onto the sand. She didn’t know if it was deliberate or not but Cindi was exhibiting a real knack for dissolving any burgeoning friendship that Nick and Jessie managed to achieve and embarrassing them back into self-conscious formality. Or maybe it was just Jessie she was embarrassing.

“Anybody mind if I hit the hay?” said Malcolm, joining them at the fire and evidently not noticing any strain in the atmosphere. “I’m exhausted again and I don’t even know why. It’s not like we even did that much today.”

“It’ll take time for your bodies to get used to the heat,” said Nick. “Just wait until tomorrow, you’ll really find out what tiredness is about.” He laughed at their expressions. “It’s a good idea for us all to get some rest.”

They got to their feet, stretching and yawning in the mild night air.

Cindi looked at Jessie in consternation. “Where are you sleeping, Jessie?”

Jessie looked around in dismay. She hadn’t even thought about it. Had they expected her to build a shelter? Why hadn’t anyone said anything?

“She’s sleeping with me,” Nick said casually.

Jessie looked at him and then let out a laugh. “Oops,” she giggled. “Did you hear what you said? Another slip of the tongue.”

He looked at her blankly. “No. I meant it.”

Jessie swallowed. “Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I should have explained sooner. You’re going to share my shelter tonight. There’s too much risk that you’ll get cold overnight on your own and if I share out my clothes it’ll just leave us both underdressed. This is the only way to do it until we’ve had a chance to scavenge something to make clothes out of.”

He gave her a frank smile. “I promise I’m not trying to take advantage of you, it’s just a survival tactic. If you get cold you won’t be able to sleep and you’ll be irritable tomorrow.” His eyes grew playful. “You might try and attack me with your bag.”

Jessie returned his smile and offered a suggestion. “Maybe I should bunk down with Cindi instead.”

“Sorry,” said Nick. “I’m under instructions from Lois. Since you’re all competing she wants to keep you separated.”

Jessie nodded, keeping her face impassive. Trust Lois. Even though Kenny was gone, Jessie had no doubts that their sleeping arrangements were going to be caught on one of the Island Eyes. The woman knew how to make good television.

Jessie glanced up at the nearby trees, wondering if there was a camera focused on her right now and hoping that her indifferent expression was fooling it. She might be feigning resignation with Lois’s decision but inside she was jittering with nervous excitement at the thought of sharing a bed with Nick.

Cindi was evidently thinking along the same lines.

“Well, aren’t you the fast mover, girl,” she said with an outrageous grin. “I guess you knew exactly what you were doing when you wore that dress.” Cindi giggled as if she was only kidding around, but Jessie’s face flamed regardless.

“It’s not…I didn’t plan on…”

“It’s about survival,” said Nick, unruffled. “Nothing more.”

“Survival of the species,” said Cindi in an undertone to Jessie. “It wouldn’t surprise me if Nick’s planning a little propagation. Lucky you.”

“Oh, right,” Jessie whispered back. “Like we could do anything without you and Malcolm hearing it.”

Cindi raised an eyebrow. “So you have been thinking about it.”

Jessie shook her head, but Cindi just winked at her. “Sleep tight,” she said as she sauntered off to her own shelter.

“Okay, you too,” said Jessie with forced brightness. “See you in the morning Malcolm.”

“Yup,” he said. “Good night.” Malcolm obviously didn’t intend to be as blunt as Cindi but he didn’t have to be. Jessie could see the inevitable speculation in his eyes.

Jessie winced and then she followed Nick over to his shelter, trying to shake the feeling that she was the chosen concubine.

“Are you tired?” asked Nick conversationally.

She nodded, realizing that the weakness in her legs needn’t necessarily be attributed to the fact that she was about to bed down with Nick Garrett.

She was just tired, that was it.

Her eyes widened in alarm as Nick unbuttoned his shirt. He took it off and then pulled his T-shirt over his head in one fluid motion.

Jessie couldn’t tear her gaze away from Nick’s chest, naked except for the microphone around his neck. She didn’t know what to do. Had she been completely wrong about him? About this show? Was she expected to have sex with him after all? On camera?

“Here,” said Nick, handing her his T-shirt. “Put this on.” He put his shirt back on and bent to untie his boots. “I’ll give you my socks as well, they should be some help.”

Jessie, mortified by her assumptions and touched by his consideration, slipped the T-shirt over her head. It smelt of him and she wrapped her arms around herself as she felt the lingering warmth of him seep into her skin.

Nick gave her his socks and then covered his microphone, indicating she should do the same. Jessie wrapped her hand around the microphone and stared at his face, shadowed in the moonlit night.

“I just wanted to tell you that you don’t have to worry about…I mean, what Lois said earlier about the sexual tension…that’s not something you have to worry about.”

Jessie felt her chest constrict and she was glad of the darkness. “Oh, gosh,” she fumbled, “you neither. I mean, you don’t have to worry. Of course not.”

He nodded and smiled. “Come on, let’s get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.” He tilted up the roof of the shelter so Jessie could lie down and then he arranged himself next to her, lowering the roof above them.

The bed was too narrow to allow any space between them and anyway, Nick seemed devoid of any self-consciousness as he slid one hand under her neck and curved his arm protectively around her. He was lying on his back and Jessie found herself nestled in the crook of his arm, her back snuggled warmly against his side. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest and she made an effort to slow her own breathing, certain that he could feel her heart thudding like a piston. Her gaze dropped to Nick’s arm and she could see the golden hairs glinting in the tiny rays of moonlight that seeped through the roof branches. She could imagine the salt on his skin and wondered how he’d react if she just tilted her head down and licked it.

She closed her eyes. A few moments passed and then she decided that she didn’t care if the others were less than ten feet away. She was in bed with Nick Garrett and she was going to make the most of it. She rose up and turned over in the bed. She looked down at Nick who was watching her with dark eyes and she moved over until she was straddling his lap. She peeled off the T-shirt and then slowly, tantalizingly, dropped first one strap and then the other until her breasts were bared to his gaze.

Nick’s reaction was immediate and passionate and probably would have done him proud had he been aware of it. Jessie had already succumbed to sleep and her flickering eyelids were the only evidence that such a shameless seduction was taking place.

3

NICK WAS WOKEN by the bright sun shining through the pinhole gaps in the leaves of the shelter. The air was comfortably warm and he could hear birdsong and the rhythmic crash of the waves on the shore.

He yawned and looked down at the head that was resting in the crook of his shoulder. He could see the sweep of Jessie’s brows and her chestnut hair fell in a thick cascade over his arm. She stirred in her sleep and her mouth parted to emit a soft snore.

Nick smiled, remembering how quickly she’d fallen asleep the night before. He’d deepened his breathing as soon as they lay down, hoping to put her at ease by making her think he was already asleep. He hadn’t been sure what kind of reaction to expect to the revelation that they were sharing a bed but the way she just lay down next to him without making any sort of fuss about it had impressed him.

Truth be told, his overall impression of her was a good one. She seemed to have a lot of spirit and he liked the determined glint that had sparked in her eye when it came time to eat the beetle grubs.

Nick had been unenthusiastic about this castaway competition from the start. He was used to working on his own—just him and the elements—and he had tried doggedly to disenchant Lois of the idea. But she had remained resolute and while Nick knew that she couldn’t fire him she did have the power to thwart or curtail his future projects. Working with Lois was a particular kind of torture, working against her didn’t even bear thinking about.

So it had never really been a matter of “if,” but “when.”

Of course now that he was in it, he had to admit that he was intrigued by what was going to happen. In his show he reminded viewers over and over again that psychology played a vital part in survival. In extreme circumstances a strong mind could make a weak body do impossible things. But the reverse was also true. When the mind gave up, the body followed.

The fascination of watching random people under pressure was irresistible. Who’ll crack, who’ll turn nasty, who’ll come through with their integrity intact, who’ll surprise?

Nick also knew that when a group of people found themselves in a genuinely life-threatening situation it was always only a matter of time before the instinct for self-preservation caused rifts and betrayals. However, the castaways with Nick were obviously in no real danger of starving to death. And so, the money prize had been introduced to provide the necessary incentive to selfishness and backstabbing.

How long before they stopped working together?

Nick smiled to himself as his thoughts meandered. Lois had done a good job of picking the finalists. Nick knew that hopeful contestants had sent in a biography and an essay detailing their most impressive survival experience to date but he had never gotten to see these. Neither had Lois told him anything about the eventual finalists. Her idea was that it would make it more interesting for him to be in the dark about these strangers that he was stranded with.

He’d had little more than perfunctory conversations with them so far. He knew that Cindi was a bartender in New York—”By which I mean, I admit it, I’m an actress. Between jobs, you know?”—and that Malcolm was some sort of accountant—”Figures and statistics, I won’t bore you with it.”

And his impression of Jessie? Only fleeting so far but he liked her. What was it she’d called him? Tough guy. It should have annoyed him but there was something about the way she said it, so casually and without a hint of flirtation, that made it sort of charming.

Out of the corner of his eye he glimpsed movement at the opening of the shelter and he tilted his head up to see Kenny’s camera trained on them.

Nick let out a quiet chuckle. “Morning. How about giving us a minute to wake up?”

Kenny lifted a hand in greeting but didn’t move away as Jessie started to stir. She let out a sigh and her eyelids fluttered open. She looked blankly at Nick for a moment, blinking, until a smile of recognition curved her lips.

Nick instinctively returned the smile. “Morning.”

“Yeah…hi,” mumbled Jessie, putting a hand up to brush some strands of hair back from her face. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few more times, looking around blearily as if getting her bearings.

She raised herself onto one elbow and, catching sight of Kenny, let out a laughing groan and turned away from him, hiding her face.

The next moment Jessie burst through the top of the shelter, shrieking at the top of her lungs.

Nick watched, stunned, as her head disappeared through the hole in the roof and he heard her exclaim to Kenny, “Did you see that? It’s enormous!”

Nick winced. He had hoped that if she did notice the bulge in his trousers that she would at least have had the diplomacy not to mention it. Her comments, flattering though they were, were the last thing he’d expected or wanted. What was the matter with her?

He looked down just in time to see a gecko lizard slithering off the bed, its long tail flickering as it scuttled out of the hut.

Nick got up, running his hand through his hair and stretched as he emerged from the shelter. He smiled when he saw Jessie watching fearfully from a distance.

“It’s okay,” he said, raising his hands in a gesture of triumph. “I have vanquished the monster.”

“What the heck was it?”

“It was just a gecko lizard.”

“A lizard?” said Jessie. “Are you kidding me? Lizards are small and cute. That was as big as a dog.”

Nick offered the camera a skeptical look. “More like a cat really.”

“It was sleeping on top of us!”

“Yeah,” said Nick. “They like the warmth. And maybe the companionship, who knows?”

“Great. I hope the two of you will be very happy together. Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding.”

“Look,” said Nick reasonably. “There’s no need to be scared. They’re vegetarians, harmless really.”

He watched as a flush rose on Jessie’s cheeks. She was obviously considering how her reaction had looked on camera.

“I wasn’t scared,” she explained. “I just got a fright. I wasn’t expecting to wake up next to a lizard.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” quipped Nick.

He was pleased to see Jessie smile sheepishly. She pressed her hand to her chest as if calming a racing heart.

“Phew,” she breathed. “And to think that I was worried about being able to wake up properly without my morning cup of coffee.”

Nick laughed. As startling as it had been, at least the incident obliterated any awkwardness that might have hung over them waking up together.

Then he looked over at Cindi and Malcolm, who had emerged from their respective shelters with the same shocked expression.

Of course, Jessie’s shriek was still going to take some explaining.

“I WAS NOT TRYING TO molest her,” said Nick for the fourth time. “Will you please stop saying that I was.” He indicated the trees. “We are on camera, you know.”

Cindi made the unconvinced and uncaring face of a cop writing up a ticket. “I’m just saying it was an awful big yell to have been caused by such a little thing.”

“It wasn’t little,” grumbled Jessie. “It was huge. It was a mutant lizard. You’d have screamed, too.”

Cindi waved a dismissive hand. “I’m not really phobic about reptiles.”

“Neither am I,” argued Jessie hotly, her voice heading for the top end of the scales again.

Malcolm interrupted the squabble. “I have a phobia of—”

Silence, punctuated by the hiss of simmering water, followed.

“Of?” prompted Nick.

Malcolm sank his head into his neck and looked unhappy. “I don’t want to say.”

Nick regarded him for a moment, then smiled in approving comprehension. “You think I’ll use it against you.”

Malcolm nodded, miserable with the strain of defying his hero.

“I’m phobic about pizza,” said Cindi with a hopeful expression. “Please don’t make me eat pizza, I’ll freak out.”

“Only two days and already you’re dreaming about pizza?” said Nick in a disappointed voice.

Jessie spoke up. “I, too, find it hard to believe that the thrill of sweet potatoes would ever wear off, having had them for both dinner and breakfast already.”

“Okay,” surrendered Nick. “Don’t worry. Our diet will become more varied. I saw some banana trees on the other side of the island and we’ll find lots of papaya bushes inland. And of course we’ll be catching fish. Best of all though, when I got those delicious potatoes I noticed that there was evidence of damage around the stems and leaves.”

“From mutant lizards,” guessed Jessie.

“Even better,” grinned Nick. “From wild pigs.”

Jessie raised a dubious eyebrow. “And that’s good, how?”

Malcolm interrupted eagerly. “It’s great. We can hunt them and have a roast.”

“You can hunt them,” clarified Jessie.

Malcolm turned to Nick. “Can I?” he said, like a child asking permission to run downstairs on Christmas morning.

“Sure,” said Nick. He liked that Malcolm’s enthusiasm was unfettered by his manifest ineptitude.

Jessie lifted her face to the sun and then took off the T-shirt that Nick had given her, handing it back to him with a smile.

“It’s so warm already,” she said. “I’ll definitely need a swim later.” She rustled in her sparkly evening bag and drew out a thin tube of sunscreen, applying some to her face before offering it to the others.

“That’s okay,” said Nick. “My skin is used to the outdoors.”

Cindi also demurred, explaining that she and the sun-bed were old friends.

“No tan lines,” she added provocatively.

Nick watched Malcolm keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the ground and then he looked at Jessie. She was smiling blandly as she held the sunscreen out to Malcolm but her foot was jiggling. With impatience, or annoyance at Cindi?

Malcolm eventually glanced up and noticed Jessie’s offering. He hesitated, as if he wanted to be macho and refuse, but then he took it and slicked some quickly over his nose.

Nick let his eyes drift to the middle distance again, before anyone realized they’d been observed.

The growl of an engine broke the morning stillness and they all looked out to the shore and slowly got to their feet as they saw the motorboat pulling up.

“Yoo-hoo!” Lois called as she came trotting up the sand towards them. Her eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses but her mouth was curved in a broad smile.

“Success!” she exclaimed, raising her hands in excitement. “Just wait until you hear.”