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Bridie had only been two and half kilos at birth and the illness had set her weight gain back. She was so pale, her legs slightly mottled. She looked lifeless and Rilla could see why Beth was so distraught.
Rilla stroked Bridie’s fingers, which were just sticking out from beneath some bandages. An IV line had been placed in her arm and it had been bundled up to keep it secure.
‘Hey sweetie,’ she crooned, ‘your Aunty Ril’s here. We all are.’
She looked over her shoulder at Luca. She was conscious of his presence behind her and his quick reassuring smile bolstered her flagging confidence that everything would be all right. He placed a hand on her shoulder and his thumb stroked the tense muscles of her neck.
‘Beth, Luca bought some lunch. Why don’t you come outside and have something to eat?’
Beth shook her head vigorously.
‘You need to keep your strength up, Beth,’ Rilla cajoled.
‘I can’t leave her.’ Beth shook her head again.
Rilla could see the determined jut of her sister’s chin. She needed to eat. She looked like she was ready to drop. Rilla despaired that she wouldn’t find the right words and she looked up at Luca. He squeezed her shoulder and mouthed, ‘Let me.’
‘Beth,’ Luca said, coming around to kneel beside her. ‘You need to look after yourself. Bridie is in the best place, being looked after by the best people. You need to rest and eat and drink regularly. They’re going to want you to start expressing milk soon to provide Bridie with much-needed calories to help her recover quickly. Your milk supply will suffer if you don’t take care of yourself. You wouldn’t want that, would you?’
Beth raised her face to look at Luca. ‘No,’ she sniffled.
‘OK, then. I promise Rilla and I will stay here right by her side until you get back. We won’t leave her, will we, Rilla?’
Rilla felt mesmerised by his low, accented voice. His sincerity was strangely seductive. ‘No. Absolutely not.’
Beth looked at Rilla then back at Luca. ‘OK. But just for a short while.’
‘Of course,’ Rilla said.
And that set up the pattern for the next two nights and days. As the medical team supported Bridie, adjusting to each phase of the illness, the family rallied to make sure that Beth and Gabe were getting enough rest and time away and looking after themselves.
Penny cooked nutritious meals and tempting snacks, feeding them all as they maintained their vigil at the hospital, grabbing brief moments of sleep where they could along with quick showers and hasty clothing changes.
Rilla didn’t leave the hospital at all, the vision of Bridie the day she’d come in by ambulance still too fresh in her mind. Luca stayed by her side and was a huge support for the entire family, volunteering to do the myriad things that needed doing outside the hospital so the family could stay together.
And, of course, when it was her turn to be with Bridie—night or day—he was by her side. It was odd, spending so much time in his company after seven years of no contact at all. By tacit agreement they didn’t talk about their own issues, even though she kept asking herself why. Why was he back? Why was he acting like he was still a part of the Winters clan? Like he still wanted to be part?
For the moment it was immensely comforting to have Luca with her. Their time for questions would come soon enough.
‘So how did Gabe and Beth meet?’ Luca asked as they sat beside Bridie in the wee small hours of the third day.
He’d been watching Rilla for the last hour as she’d struggled to keep her eyes open, the tawny flecks in her amber eyes visible even in the subdued light of the room. He remembered numerous times when she’d looked at him with slumberous eyes, turning in his arms and snuggling against him, her head beneath his chin as she’d fallen asleep.
‘The Fisher twins,’ Rilla said, rousing herself from the thick web of exhaustion. She’d had maybe ten hours of sleep in small blocks over the last couple of days and it was catching up with her.
Luca frowned. ‘The conjoined twins?’ Luca recalled the case instantly. There had been a lot of global press and he’d paid particular attention because of the connection with his old hospital, the Brisbane General.
Rilla nodded. ‘Gabe was the surgeon who separated them. Beth is NUM of operating theatres here. They worked very closely on the case. Bridie’s named after one of the twins.’
Luca had always had a soft spot for Rilla’s older sister. ‘I’m pleased Beth got her happily-ever-after. She’s had a tough life, she deserves it.’
Rilla agreed. Beth had been through a lot before the Winters family had taken her in, and no one was more worthy of happiness.
But what about me? About us?
Rilla didn’t know where the errant thought came from. Maybe it was the hour, maybe it was the persistent tug of tiredness, but the urge to demand answers was suddenly overwhelming.
Bridie coughed and the ventilator alarm was triggered, along with the monitor, and the words died on her lips. This is not the place, Rilla. Not the place. Concentrate on Bridie and worry about Luca and his motives another time.
Later that morning they had their first piece of good news. Ventilation had been reduced. Bridie’s condition was stabilising. She’d turned the corner.
Beth was over the moon. It was the first time Rilla had seen her sister smile in three days. Everyone was kissing and hugging each other, and Rilla was so relieved that when Luca kissed her she kissed him back enthusiastically. ‘Isn’t it great?’ she enthused, pulling away. A shot of adrenaline charged through her system. She wasn’t entirely sure it had anything to do with her niece’s improved condition either.
‘It’s the best,’ Luca agreed, savouring the taste of her after seven years of famine.
Bridie improved rapidly over the course of the day and the medical staff were hoping to have her extubated by tomorrow or the next day at the latest. The mood was suddenly lighter. Their collective tiredness magically evaporated.
Beth and Gabe ordered everyone home later that night.
‘Now we know she’s turned the corner, we’re going to sleep in the parents’ lounge tonight on one of the pull-out sofas,’ Beth said. ‘We’re both exhausted. So are all of you. We can’t thank you enough for all the support these last few days but you need to go to your homes. Sleep in your beds.’
The family protested and fussed but Beth was adamant and they eventually all agreed they could do with a good night’s sleep. Rilla and Luca hung around for a few hours after everyone else had left. She felt too anxious to leave. Her home was furthest away and she wanted to be close should Bridie relapse.
‘Go home,’ Beth ordered at close to midnight as Gabe prepared their sofa bed.
‘I don’t mind staying the night,’ she stalled.
‘Luca, take her home,’ Beth said, hands on hips.
Luca rose and Rilla shot him a ‘down, boy’ glare. ‘But everyone else is so much closer.’
‘You’re only ten minutes away,’ Beth pointed out.
‘Mum and Dad and Hailey are two,’ Rilla returned.
‘So go stay with them.’
‘They’ll all be asleep by now and I don’t have a key any more.’ Rilla knew she was going to sleep like the dead. She didn’t want to wake any of them from their first decent sleep in three days.
‘I’m two minutes away,’ Luca interrupted. Why he did so, he had no idea. But it made sense.
Rilla looked at him, startled. She saw Beth look at Gabe in her peripheral vision.
‘Problem solved,’ Beth said brightly.
‘Luca, no,’ Rilla said, shying from the intense blackness of his eyes.
‘You’re tired, I’m tired. I live closer. It’s just geography, cara.’
‘He’s right,’ Beth pushed.
Rilla looked from one to the other. She knew he was right. Except he said ‘cara’ and she wanted to melt. Rilla wavered.
‘You can sleep in the spare room,’ Luca said.
Well, she sure as hell wasn’t going tobe sleeping with him.
‘Damn right I will,’ she said, gathering her stuff and heading for the door, Luca’s sexy chuckle following her.
CHAPTER THREE
RILLA was exhausted. Utterly, deep-down-in-her-bones, one hundred per cent exhausted. But despite the weariness of her body, the charged silence in Luca’s car was keeping her super-alert. She must have been crazy to agree to this. There was too much to say, too much to talk about. And she just wasn’t up for it. Not tonight.
Luca pulled into the driveway, braked and turned the engine off. She looked at the flat that had been their home for the brief time they’d been together, too shattered to move, memories swamping her. The things they’d gotten up to between those four walls …
She’d moved in with Luca within weeks of meeting him, so in love, so sure of their love. The flat hadn’t been much, but they hadn’t needed much. Back then, all they’d needed had been each other.
After they’d returned from their Italian honeymoon they’d planned on buying a house and had been actively looking when her bombshell pregnancy had been revealed. Then all their carefully laid plans had gone out the window.
After their marriage had disintegrated she’d moved out and eventually bought herself an apartment at South Bank. Luca had kept the flat, placing it in the hands of a rental agency just prior to leaving the country, and it had been occupied on and off for the past seven years.
Rilla had often found herself in the street, outside the tiny two-bedroom place where they’d first made love. It had become a habit over the years, a bad one, and she’d noticed only last month that the flat was vacant again.
Was she ready to be alone with him? In their little flat full of memories? The attraction was still there, she couldn’t deny it. Even after days without sleep, every cell in her body crying out for slumber, it pulsed between them.
Seven years apart hadn’t doused the instantaneous flare that heated her body every time she looked at him. If anything, maturity had given him an even sexier edge, stoking the flame higher. And the way he’d stayed by her side had been heroic and appealing on an emotional level that called to her even more than the physical attraction.
‘Come on, Rilla,’ Luca murmured, breaking the silence in the confines of the car. She was looking at the place as if it were the portal to hell.
She looked at Luca. He looked bigger, darker, sexier in the dimness of the car. Her name rolled off his tongue, accented perfectly, and she shivered.
Oh, God, I’m tired.
‘Let’s go in,’ Luca prompted, leaning forward to unclip her seat belt as she still hadn’t made a move. She looked completely done in. Maybe he’d have to carry her? Please, no. He wasn’t up to such close contact tonight. Her slumberous eyes were already causing his groin to tighten.
‘S-sure,’ Rilla nodded, sitting very still until he pulled away. Damn it, she wasn’t a young woman at the mercy of her hormones any more. She was thirty.
And over him.
Luca opened the door and gestured for her to precede him. He tried and failed not to notice how her button-up red shirt pulled across her generous chest as her arm brushed his. How she was wearing the same perfume she’d worn the night they’d skipped out of the restaurant after entrées and made love for the first time.
Maybe it was the heightened emotional situation with Bridie or his fatigue weakening his resistance, but seven years of denial had come back and smacked him hard in the face. Damn it! He was as hot for her now as he’d ever been. And they were alone. In their flat.
Luca followed her down the short hallway, throwing his keys on the hallstand and ushering her into the lounge room, not even bothering not to look at her hips as they swayed in the A-line skirt she was wearing.
Dio! Give me strength.
He clicked on the lamp and it threw a subtle glow around the room.
‘Sit,’ he ordered, and escaped to the kitchen, fixing her a cup of tea. He felt the grittiness of his eyes as he waited for the kettle to boil and rubbed the back of his neck, massaging the aching muscles caused from nodding off in horrible, plastic, government-issue chairs.
‘I need a shower. Drink this,’ he said, holding the mug out to her. ‘I won’t be long.’
Rilla took it and drank, desperately trying to ignore the fact that Luca, her husband, was wet and naked only metres away.
Estranged husband. Nearly ex-husband.
Still, when Luca strode back into the lounge there was nothing ex about the leap her pulse performed at the sight of his near-nakedness.
‘Oh,’ Rilla said, her eyes drawn irresistibly to the sheer beauty of his chest.
A thick pelt of dark hair adorned his well-developed pecs and she followed its path as it became sparser, sprinkling lightly across six-pack abs, arrowing down further into a tantalising trail that disappeared behind the undone button of his jeans.
She found herself wondering if he had underwear on or if he’d hastily pulled the jeans on without? The zipper taunted her and she dragged her gaze back to his face with difficulty.
‘Finished?’ he asked, swallowing hard as he recognised the heat warming the tawny flecks in her eyes.
Luca was used to women looking at him with lust in their eyes but was surprised to discover Rilla was still one of them. There was an annoying twitch in his jeans and he silently cursed himself for his susceptibility.
It had always been like this. Right from the start. Heady and lust-infused. They’d slept together on their third date. And she’d moved in the next week.
‘W-what?’ Rilla asked, embarrassed to be caught ogling.
‘The tea?’ Luca pointed at the mug.
Rilla shivered at the way his voice washed over her. His slight accent had always turned her on. In the past he’d whispered to her in Italian as they’d made love and it had always, always taken her over the edge. Even now, after seven years of neglect, his accent stroked across her skin. Heated her belly. Hardened her nipples.
In this house, where every nook and cranny could tell a tale of lust, having Luca standing before her half-naked was a supreme test of her ‘over him’ theory. She was too emotionally wrung out over Bridie’s roller-coaster ride and too tired to resist the innate pull his body had over hers.
She handed the mug back to him as the silence grew between them, and she found herself wishing he would laugh. Throw his head back in that lazy Luca way he had and let forth a deep chuckle that rumbled from his belly and split his handsome face into a sexy grin. Anything to break the tension.
He’d once laughed a lot. They’d both laughed a lot.
She missed him, she realised. Rather dangerously realised. The Luca who laughed. And the one who had so often moaned her name. Quivered beneath her touch. Seven years she’d been telling herself she didn’t miss him and here, now, in their old flat, she had to face the fact that she’d been lying to herself.
Her tired brain searched for something to say, to regain control. She couldn’t afford to let thoughts of yesteryear sweep her away into an alternate reality. They were over. There was no going back.
‘I can’t believe you came back and didn’t even bother to inform me.’ She didn’t want to get into this with him tonight but her confusion over his motives at least kept him at a distance.
Luca heard the soft accusation in her voice and was pierced by the uncertainty simmering in her amber gaze. Her chest rose and fell in an agitated rhythm, straining the buttons of her shirt. Her dark hair tumbled to her shoulders and two spots of colour stained her cheeks.
How could he still want her after all these years?
Luca sighed and sat beside her on the sofa, throwing his head back into the soft cushion of fabric. Her perfume invaded his personal space and he shut his eyes. ‘I knew your father would tell you,’ he murmured.
Rilla swivelled her head to look at him. With his eyes closed he looked as weary as she felt. She shut her eyes too, allowing the quiet of the house to drift her away for a moment.
‘I’m sorry. I should have told you.’
