The Nine-Month Bride

But she wanted a child. A family. A way to pass on the important things she’d learned from her loving parents. A personal connection to the future. She actually ached with longing when she saw a young woman carrying a baby.

“Susannah, you need to find a man.”

“It’s not necessary these days, Abby. I can manage just fine without that added complication.” She kept her voice calm, swallowing the tremor that ran through her.

Abby frowned. “Some man must’ve really done a number on you, Susannah. They’re not all bad.”

Turning her head away, Susannah tried to think of another subject that would engage Abby’s interest. She didn’t want to discuss her insignificant experience with men. The one time she’d thought she’d fallen in love, the man had dumped her because she hadn’t accepted his advances with open arms. He’d labeled her frigid.

Susannah wondered if the newest shipment of books would distract Abby. “Did you see that we received the latest Nora Roberts romance? Have you put your name on the list to check it out?”

“I don’t want to talk about books. What you’re thinking of doing—”

“Morning, Abby, Miss Langston,” a deep drawl interrupted.

Susannah almost passed out. She didn’t have to turn around, or wait for Abby’s greeting. That voice told her who was standing in front of her counter.

“Why, Lucas! I haven’t seen you in a dog’s age. What are you doing in the library?” Abby asked, a big smile on her face. “Have you met Susannah—well, I guess you have or you wouldn’t have greeted her by name.”

Susannah avoided looking at Abby, but she heard the curiosity—and speculation—in Abby’s voice. “Hello, Mr. Boyd. Is there something in particular you’re looking for?”

“Yes, Lucas, just what are you looking for? I’ve never seen you in the library before.”

“Well, Abby, I’m looking for a private conversation with the librarian,” Lucas said, a grin on his face.

Abby’s interest sharpened. “Oh, really? Now, isn’t that interesting?”

Susannah had no idea what the man wanted, but she knew she didn’t want to deal with any more comments from Abby. “Could you please watch the counter while I talk with Mr. Boyd, Abby? I shouldn’t be long.”

“I’ll be happy to.”

Ignoring Abby’s grin, Susannah looked at Lucas Boyd for the first time and drew a deep breath. The man oozed sex appeal. “Shall we go into my office, Mr. Boyd?”

He nodded and came around the end of the counter, then waited for her to lead the way.

Her back ramrod straight, Susannah stalked into her small office, wishing she’d cleaned her desk this morning. She wasn’t compulsively neat, but she didn’t want the man following her to think badly of her.

Almost laughing at that ridiculous thought, as if this man’s opinion mattered, Susannah straightened her features and sat down behind her desk. She paused as he removed his hat and hung it on the antique hat stand. A shiver ran down her spine. The conversation must be important if he took off his hat.

“Won’t you be seated?” she asked politely, gesturing to the small narrow chair across from her, the only other seat in the room.

He eyed the chair suspiciously, as if he didn’t think it would hold him. He could be right. He was a big man, several inches over six feet, his body a solid mass of muscle.

“I think I’ll stand. That seat doesn’t look any too stable.” He smiled but didn’t wait for her response. Instead he turned away and looked out the small window. Since she knew the view encompassed the parking lot, a few scraggly buildings and the mountains in the distance, she didn’t think it was that compelling.

“How may I help you, Mr.—” She broke off as she remembered their last meeting. Somehow her question seemed inappropriate. “I mean—why are you here?”

His intense blue eyes lightened slightly as he turned around, a grim smile on his face. Clearly he understood her change of question. “I think I owe you an apology.”

He took her by surprise.

“I—I can’t think of any reason.”

“I can. I was angry when you—about the misunderstanding we both suffered two weeks ago. I don’t think I was much of a gentleman about it.”

She waved a hand in dismissal, but she couldn’t trust herself to say anything.

“You see, I’d made a difficult decision. And I wanted to get on with it. When Doc said you were coming, I assumed he’d explained my offer and you’d accepted. I could already see my son—” He broke off and turned back to the window.

Tense silence filled the room, and Susannah sought to ease it. “I guess an old-maid librarian was a bit of a shock, too.”

He turned and stared at her attempt to smile.

“If you’re an old maid in Colorado, it’s got to be your choice, Miss Langston. We don’t have all that many available ladies to choose from except in the cities.”

Color filled her cheeks and she looked away. “I don’t meet any men at the library.”

“Why?”

“I guess they’re not big readers.”

He stood with his hands on his trim hips, watching her intensely. “No. I don’t mean why don’t you meet men. Why do you want a baby?”

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry, then nibbled at her bottom lip. She wasn’t about to bare her soul to this stranger. “Why do you?”

He frowned, as if surprised by her turning the tables. Well, she had as much right to ask questions as he did, she decided, raising her chin.

“For the obvious reasons.”

“Me, too.”

Frustration filled his handsome features. “That doesn’t tell me anything!”

“But it’s the answer you gave,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, but I’m a—”

“A man?” She finished the sentence when he didn’t continue.

A sideways grin only made him more attractive. “So I’m dealing with a feminist here, am I?”

To avoid looking at him, she picked up a pen and doodled on the pad of paper on her desk. “You’re dealing with an educated woman, Mr. Boyd. Not one who’s going to accept stereotypes and limitations because she’s a woman.”

He gave a disgruntled chuckle. “You’re not like Beth at all.”

“Beth?” She suspected the woman’s identity, but she waited for him to confirm her thought.

“My wife. She—she and my son died in childbirth,” he murmured, looking away. “Three years ago.” He swallowed, as if forcing down emotion.

“I’m sorry. But no, I’m probably not like her.”

“She was little…and sweet and beautiful.” His voice was dreamy and sad. Then it changed as he added firmly, “And she always agreed with me.”

“Well, that confirms it. I’m definitely not like Beth.” She was ready to end the conversation. He didn’t owe her an apology, and she didn’t want to discuss beautiful women whose husbands adored them. Or little boys who died before they could even live. “I appreciate your apology,” she said, rising, “but it wasn’t necessary.”

“Wait! I—you never explained why you want a baby.”

“Neither did you,” she said pointedly.

“I told you about Beth and the baby!” he returned. When she said nothing, he added, “I’m trying to work something out here!” He put his hands back on his hips, a scowl on his face.

“What?”

“Well, you see, there aren’t—Doc hasn’t been able to find a surrogate mother for me.”

He looked at her, as if he expected a response, but she had nothing to say.

“I wondered if—I’ll have to have someone take care of the baby when it’s born.”

Why would he tell her that…unless he thought she’d like the position? With a shrug of her shoulders, she said, “Yes, but I’m not looking for a job. You’ll need to hire a nanny.”

“Why? You could have the baby, and I’d hire you as the nanny. The baby would have the best care in the world, from his own mother.” As if he’d finally made his case, he relaxed and smiled at her.

A beautiful smile. Too bad.

“And at night I would go home?”

“Yeah, I could handle things at night. After all, I’m his father.”

“And the neighbors would think I’d had your child—probably as a result of a careless one-night stand—and I’ve given it up to you to raise, but I’m receiving payment to take care of it.”

“I don’t care what my neighbors think!” he growled.

“You may not, but what they think would harm your child. Do you care about him?”

“Of course I do!” he roared. “That’s the reason we’re in this mess in the first place!”

She moved from behind her desk, passing dangerously close to him, and reached the door.

“Don’t open that door!” he rapped out, an order that he apparently assumed she would obey.

“Mr. Boyd, you are visiting my office. You do not give me orders.” She opened the door. “Thank you for stopping by.”

He stared at her as if she’d slapped him. Finally he took a step toward her. “You’re not even going to consider my suggestion?”

“No, thank you.”

“But we’d both get what we want.”

“No, Mr. Boyd. You would get what you want. I would get crumbs, not even a piece of the cake. And I would lose my good standing in the community. Does that sound like I would get what I want?”

She could sense Abby’s birdlike gaze flicking back and forth between them and wished she hadn’t been so stubborn about opening the door.

He continued to glare at her, as if expecting her to explain herself further. Instead she stared at him, holding onto the door, hoping he didn’t realize she might’ve fallen without its support. Finally, when she wasn’t sure she could remain standing much longer, he smashed his cowboy hat on his head and strode from her office, not even responding to Abby’s goodbye.

“What got stuck in his craw?” Abby asked, staring at her as she took her place behind the counter.

Susannah sighed, “I love you, Abby, but I’m not going to discuss what was said in there. It’s private.” She added a warm smile, which wasn’t easy when she felt like crying.

Something must’ve alerted Abby to her fragile condition. “Enough said. Why don’t you go back in there and work on those orders. I can handle everything out here.”

With a whispered thanks, Susannah fled into her office, closing the door behind her. She returned to her chair, where only moments ago Lucas Boyd had stood over her.

Great! Now he’d invaded her workplace. She already had trouble getting him out of her head from their one meeting. Seeing him as the father of her child had been a mistake.

As foolish as those thoughts were, she had dreamed of creating that child the old-fashioned way, as Dr. Grable had put it. Strange reaction from someone who was frigid. Those intense dreams had left her unsettled and wanting what she couldn’t have.

Lucas’s description of his wife, and the longing and love that filled his voice, had gouged a hole in her heart. Why hadn’t she found a man to love her the way he’d loved his wife? Why was she alone?

And the biggest question of all: Why was it so difficult to have a child, so she wouldn’t be alone? She’d faced the fact that part of her longing for a child was selfish. But she also knew that she would care for and love her child, provide for him or her, be a good mother.

Her child.

His son.

They couldn’t be the same baby, in spite of his ingenious proposal.

It would never work.

It could work.

If only the woman wouldn’t be so difficult. He was offering her what she wanted!

Her words replayed in Lucas’s head. Well, almost. Couldn’t she settle for what he wanted? The desire to hold his son in his arms was overpowering. He could see himself teaching the boy about the ranch, about his heritage. They would share the past and the future.

And Lucas would love him, his child, as he’d loved Beth and that other little baby boy. With all his heart.

He slung himself behind the wheel of his truck and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. What now? Doc didn’t seem to think he’d be able to find someone willing to have his baby.

The old man had suggested he go into Denver and find some poor woman who needed money desperately. Hell, he didn’t want his child’s mother to be a street person. She had to be strong, healthy, upstanding.

A dry chuckle surprised him. He couldn’t say Miss Langston was weak. Or meek. Or agreeable. She was tall, too. He’d worried about his future sons with Beth. She was so little. What if—such a thought seemed like a betrayal of their love. But—

He turned the key and slammed the truck into Drive. He wasn’t going to think about such things. Didn’t matter anyway. Beth was dead. They wouldn’t have children together.

When he stopped the truck at the streetlight, he realized he was half a block from Doc’s office. He’d make a detour and fill him in on the latest discussion with Miss Disagreeable Langston.

“You did what?” asked Doc, a comical look on his face, after Lucas revealed his conversation with the woman.

“I just told you. I offered—”

“I heard you. Lord’a’mercy, boy, don’t you have any more sense than that?”

“What’s the matter with what I offered? She’d get to have a baby, take care of it and get paid for the job, too.”

Doc grinned. “And what was her answer?”

“She wouldn’t even consider it.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“So why did you suggest such a disagreeable woman?”

“Disagreeable? Susannah Langston? Everyone loves her. She’s patient with the elderly, gentle and loving with the children and extremely knowledgeable about her job. What’s not to like?”

“She wasn’t gentle, loving or patient with me.”

“And were you any of those with her?”

“Hell, no! I just met the woman.”

“Then why expect anything different in return?”

“You’re turning the tables on me, just like she did,” Lucas complained, frowning fiercely. What was wrong with everyone today?

“Lucas, you’re spoiled. You’ve been running a huge operation for about eight years now, and everyone jumps to your command. Your wife was a sweet lady, beautiful, but she would’ve jumped off a bridge if you told her to. When was the last time someone told you no?”

“Today,” he replied grimly.

“Exactly, and you’re upset that she didn’t see everything your way.”

Lucas sprang from his chair and paced the office. “Okay, okay, maybe it isn’t the best deal for her. But—but I need my son, Doc,” he whispered, his head bowed. “I need a reason to keep going, to look to the future.”

Dr. Grable stood and came around the desk to put an arm around Lucas’s shoulders. “I know you do, son. And I’m going to help you.”

Chapter Three

“How?” Lucas asked hoarsely. He hadn’t intended to break down in front of Doc—or anyone for that matter. He was embarrassed and anxious to get back in control.

“It’s simple. You marry the woman.”

He stared at the old man. Doc must’ve lost his mind. “I can’t do that, Doc, and you know it!”

“’Course you can.”

He jerked away from Doc’s touch. “No, I can’t. I can’t let myself—I loved Beth!”

“I know you did, son. But that doesn’t mean you can’t marry again. Lots of men do.” Doc moved back to his chair. “Come sit down and let’s talk about it.”

“No! When I lost Beth and my baby boy, I vowed I’d never—I can’t do that, Doc!” He clenched his jaw. A man didn’t cry, especially not where someone else could see him.

“You took a few hits that year,” Doc said calmly. “After all, your father had been dead only a few months. And your friend Billy died in that car crash in Denver. A rough time.”

Lucas shook his head and stared out the window. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. But it was easier than facing Doc’s pity.

“But that doesn’t matter, because I’m not asking you to love Miss Langston. Just to marry her.”

Lucas turned to stare at Doc. If he’d thought him crazy before, now he knew it. “Come on, Doc. She wouldn’t even consider what I offered today. If I tried that idea on her, she’d slug me.”

“Why?”

“Why? No woman would consider that kind of marriage proposal! It’s an insult.”

“It’s my belief there are a lot more marriages based on practical reasons than there are based on love. And if you look at it from a practical angle, it meets all of your and her requirements.”

“I don’t see how,” Lucas said, but he took the chair in front of Doc’s desk, listening intently.

Doc raised his hand and began counting off his reasons. “You get your son and someone to take care of him. And no gossip. She gets her baby and someone to support both of them. And no gossip.”

Put that way, Doc’s idea seemed simple. But Lucas didn’t think a female would think the same way. “I don’t believe Miss Langston would agree with you. In fact, I’m sure she wouldn’t. She hasn’t agreed with anything I’ve said!”

“Maybe you haven’t approached her right. You gotta give her a little romance, take her out to din—”

Before he could finish, Lucas jumped up from his chair. “Wait a minute! You said no romance!”

“Nope. I said no love. Women set a lot of store by romance. You know the things—flowers, gifts… All that takes is a little money and a little thinking.”

“I’m not going to mislead her,” Lucas muttered as he stared at the calendar on Doc’s desk. He didn’t realize his mistake until he looked at Doc and discovered a big grin on his face. “I haven’t agreed to it!” he hurriedly said.

“Just think about it, son. Just think about it.”

Susannah pulled herself together after a few minutes. It was foolish to wish for what she couldn’t have. She’d learned that lesson a long time ago when the petite, pretty blondes, girls like Beth Boyd, took the roles of cheerleaders, homecoming queens and popular dates, while the tall, gawky, plain girls sat home, waiting for the phone to ring.

It was no surprise that Lucas Boyd still loved his dead wife. And mourned his baby boy. His pain had touched her again. She could understand why he wanted a baby, even if he didn’t comprehend her reasons.

But she couldn’t give up her baby any more than he could.

She squared her shoulders and picked up the phone. She was going to have her baby.

She dialed the number written on the pad. After a conversation with the fertility clinic in Denver, she felt a little better.

Life was strange. Lucas Boyd had had all the things she wanted. Now, he was no better off than she was. Indeed, he was worse off, because he couldn’t have his child.

She emerged from her office and Abby immediately searched her face.

“I’m fine.” She even added a smile.

“If Luke insulted you, or hurt you, you tell me, girl. I love that boy, but I won’t tolerate him not treating you with respect.”

Susannah chuckled. Abby’s normally serene eyes were agitated and her lips were pressed together. It would be fun to see her take on Lucas Boyd. But Susannah couldn’t lie. “He didn’t hurt me, Abby. It was a misunderstanding, and he came to offer his apology.”

“An apology that made you cry?” she asked skeptically.

“I—I felt sorry for him. It’s so sad that his wife and child died.”

Abby didn’t look convinced but she didn’t ask any more questions. Unfortunately she turned to the one subject Susannah wanted to avoid more than Lucas Boyd. “What are you going to do about this baby thing?”

“Exactly what I planned to do. I called the clinic in Denver and I have an appointment next Friday for my initial examination.”

“You’re going to close the library?”

Friday was their second busiest day, but Susannah didn’t want to postpone the appointment. “No, I’m hoping to talk you and another volunteer into covering for me. Would you, please, Abby? I don’t want to wait.”

Since today was Friday, she already had to wait seven days. Seven long days. What if she discovered she couldn’t have children? Then she’d be just as bad off as Lucas Boyd.

Stop thinking about that man.

Easier said than done. He would be many a woman’s dream of Prince Charming. Prince Charming with an attitude. He was one of those men who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.

“I still think you could find a man around here interested in settling down if you’d just make a little more effort,” Abby insisted. “Are you coming tomorrow night?”

“I don’t think so, Abby. I don’t know how to dance, and I won’t have time to bake something.”

“I’ll bake double. You promised me you’d come to the next social.” Abby had the determined look of a dog after a bone. “It seems a fair trade for keeping the library open for you next Friday.”

“That’s blackmail, Abigail!”

“Yep. Well? Is it working?”

She had promised. And she did need Abby’s help. “Yes, I suppose so. But I’ll do my own baking.”

“Just as well. The only thing I ever bake is a pecan cake. If you brought one, everyone would know I made it. Then folks would think you couldn’t cook. Can’t catch a man that way!”

“Abby! I’m coming to be sociable, not to find a man. I’ve already made my decision.” She stared at her friend, trying to make her position clear.

Abby turned limpid hazel eyes on her and said with a sugary voice, “Why, of course, Susannah. Just what I had in mind.”

Patting her gray hair, Abby slid off the stool behind the counter. “I’d better hurry home if I’m going to get my cake made tonight. Don’t you work late, either.”

“No, I won’t.” She had too much to do, what with baking a dessert for the church social and preparing herself, mentally at least, for next Friday’s date.

“Oh,” Abby said as she paused by the front door, “wear your prettiest dress, too.”

“Abby!” Susannah warned, but her friend was out the door with a wave.

Abby never gave up. At least she believed someday a man might be attracted to her friend. That was more than Susannah believed. But Abby’s faith was comforting.

Lucas surveyed himself in the mirror. Since he’d made his decision, he’d spent more time looking at himself than he had in years.

Was he dressed all right? His jeans were clean, his shirt pressed. The sports coat, kind of tweedy, still fit, though it wasn’t new. Beth had picked it out for him.

He ran his fingers over its lapel, his mind turning once more to his wife. They’d only been married a little over a year. She had been ten years younger than he, just a kid, when he’d fallen for her. Her folks lived on a farm close to town. She’d loved the ranch, the big house, lots of money to spend.

That was what he missed most. The way she’d enjoyed life. His dad had been sick the past two years, and Lucas had forgotten how to smile. When Beth came into his life, suddenly sunshine was everywhere.

For the past three years, it felt as if he’d been living in a cave.

Well, tonight was his coming out party. Doc had persuaded him to try his plan. Lucas still wasn’t convinced he could go through with it. But it did make sense.

He turned away from the mirror. His looks didn’t matter. And neither did memories. He needed to be practical.

When he entered the kitchen, Frankie was sweeping the room. “Did you fix a dish for me to take, Frankie?”

“Yeah, boss, but you know you don’t have to take anything. It’s the womenfolk that bring the food.” While he spoke, Frankie’s gaze was running up and down him.

“Is something wrong with the way I look?”

“Naw. You look real purty!” Frankie assured him with a chuckle.

“Watch it, you mangy coyote, or I’ll tell Mrs. Apple-worth that you’re longing for her company.”

Frankie shivered with fear. Mrs. Appleworth, already having married five times, was known for her interest in cowboys. “That lady would have me hightailin’ it out of the county, boss. And then who would cook and clean for an ornery cuss like you?”

“Okay, point taken. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assured his cook and picked up the large bowl filled with potato salad. At least he’d gotten by Frankie without him commenting on his boss attending the party. Lucas hoped his entry would be noticed as little.

He’d timed his arrival for after the party had gotten into full swing, figuring he’d slip into the room while no one was looking.