Season of Joy

Her mind flashed back to Grant’s face, his appraising glance. He hadn’t seemed interested in her job so he probably didn’t care. That would be a good thing. Her life had become so consumed by her success that she had let her soul wither away. She felt as if she was just a husk, dried up and empty inside. Where there should be something vibrant, something connected to God, there was a pitifully weak, underfed shadow.

But she was ready to change, to let God call the shots for a while. She wanted to feel joy, like the look on Grant’s face when the little girl had practically tackled him with her hug. She pressed the button on her key ring and her Mercedes beeped in response. Sliding into the leather seat and reaching for the buckle, Calista felt her whole self yearn for purpose in her life. Her God was a God of second chances so she didn’t have to wallow around in her sad and lonely life.

Now, if she could just get everybody else to give her a second chance at being a decent human being, then she’d be all set.

Her cell phone trilled in her pocket. And she answered it automatically.

“I’m sending you the report on the new building sites and you have four urgent messages.” The voice on the phone belonged to Jackie, her personal assistant, who sounded calm and collected as usual. She rattled off the messages in rapid-fire.

Calista tucked the cell phone into her shoulder and turned onto the freeway. “Tell Jim Bishop that Branchout Corporation’s new commercial is encroaching on the VitaWow brand and we need to send them a cease and desist letter. Also, get Alicia down to tech support and make them promise not to wipe the hard drive on my laptop ever again. They said they were cleaning it, but all my temporary files disappeared into thin air.” She could hear Jackie typing at a frantic pace.

“How was the appointment?”

“What appointment?” Calista asked, before remembering that she’d told Jackie she had a toothache and was going to the dentist. “Right. The dentist was great. All fixed.”

The sound of Jackie’s laughter made Calista glare at the freeway in front of her.

“This is why I have complete faith in VitaWow’s CEO. You can’t tell a lie to save your life.”

“Why do you think I’m lying?”

“You never forget details, but more importantly, nobody ever says their dental appointment was great.”

Calista let out a sigh. “Fine. I wasn’t at the dentist. But I’ll tell you about it later. This traffic is just crazy in the afternoon.” Cars were slowing to a crawl in front of her. “Good thing I’m always at the office until late. I completely miss rush hour.”

“Are you using your headset?” Jackie asked suddenly.

Calista already had one ticket for cell use while driving. “I was, but I dropped it when I got out of the car and it shattered.”

“New headset,” Jackie mumbled into Calista’s ear as she typed another note. “Okay, I’m hanging up now because it would be extra bad for the company image if you racked up another ticket.”

“All right,” Calista said. “See you on Monday.”

Jackie snorted. “And talk to you tomorrow, you mean. You don’t take weekends off. Which means I don’t, either.”

She frowned, easing into another lane of slow-moving traffic. “Well, that might have been true before. But I’m determined to make it a priority to enjoy some free time. I don’t want to wake up at eighty and realize I worked my life away.”

“I never thought I’d hear you say that. How surprising.”

“Realizing your only friends are people who get paid to talk to you will do that to a girl.”

Jackie laughed and her infectious giggle made Calista grin long-distance. “I thought it was your biological clock ticking away.”

“I’m not that old! I just need to expand my horizons,” she said huffily. But the thought had crossed her mind, right about the time her sister, Elaine, had given birth and Calista had seen the pictures of all her friends gathered to meet the new baby. Calista wanted a family, but she wanted the whole picture. She wanted the faith that brought fullness to life, and the friends to experience it all with her.

“And I mean it about the weekends. I might pop into the office on Saturdays but no more Sunday work. I want to get a real life.”

“Hey, as a card-carrying member of your current life, I don’t appreciate you getting a new one unless I’m in it. But this is sounding stranger and stranger.” Jackie’s voice was still light, but Calista knew her words concealed real worry. And she had cause to be worried because Calista had made no secret of how her hypocritical father had ruined her life.

“It’s a long story.”

“Then Monday it is, and be careful driving in that traffic,” Jackie said, sounding uncharacteristically maternal before she hung up.

Calista focused on the road in front of her and tried not to think of the horror stories she had told Jackie. None of them had been exaggerated.

Her father had been the most respected man in their dusty, Southern town, but he ruled their little house like a dictator. He acted loving and gentle in front of their church family, but told his own family when to eat, sleep and pray.

The blaze that burned her house to the ground and took her mama’s life told her for certain that God couldn’t be trusted. So, she would have to make her own way in the world, without His help. Her choices were either go to college or settle down with Ray Collier, the football coach’s son. Ray was a good guy, but he would never have been happy with her. She had too many opinions, and didn’t like football. Her sophomore year in college she heard he’d married Tina Bowdy, a pretty girl whose father owned the gas station. She hoped they were a lot happier than she had been the past fifteen years. But her unhappiness was her own fault. There was ambition, and then there was insanity.

As Calista turned the car into the private parking garage under her condo, she felt hope rising in her chest. The mission was going to be a good place to spread her wings. She could be wealthy and successful, and have a few friends, too. As Grant’s face crossed her mind, she willed it away. She wasn’t volunteering so she could meet a nice guy. Even if she never saw him again, she knew this was the beginning of something...something real, something she’d been missing so far. It was time to stop hiding who she was. She had been born for a purpose, and she was ready to find out what it was, even if it meant admitting to the world that she wasn’t the perfect woman they all knew as the VitaWow CEO.

Chapter Three

“You haven’t cashed my check.” The low growl on the other end of the phone set Grant’s teeth on edge.

“I tore it up. Don’t send another because I don’t want your money.” He worked to keep his voice steady and even, but his heart was pounding in his chest.

“You’re a fool. Or a liar. I’ve heard the mission is in big trouble. I know you need the cash.” A thick, mucusy cough followed the last word, and Grant flinched as the sound echoed in his ear.

“I do what’s best for the mission and that would never be accepting your money. You’d always be there, trying to worm your way into every decision I make.” His voice had risen higher as anger threatened to choke him. They’d had this conversation ten, twenty times. He was sick of it.

“You’re right. I’ll always be here, whether you take the money or not. But thanks for letting me know I need to have my accountant send another. This time, to the board.” Then there was silence.

Grant stared into space, then slowly replaced the receiver. The board consisted of nine very respected and dedicated professionals, from bankers to business owners to pastors. All good people who would wonder why Grant wouldn’t take money the mission desperately needed for repairs and upgrades. Especially from the state’s richest man. But he couldn’t. It was tainted, stained. It was money made off the backs of the poorest of the poor. Taking money from a man who wouldn’t even provide his workers with decent health insurance was like making a deal with the devil.

He dropped his head in his hands and groaned. Lord, I’m not asking for You to stop the sun from rising. I just want him to go away. He had his chance and blew it. Isn’t it enough that I forgive him?

The sudden sound of a throat being cleared, loudly, brought Grant’s head up with a snap. Jose was standing in the doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot, his thick arms folded over his chest. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Grant answered tersely. Jose had the habit of appearing and disappearing without a sound. He should put a cowbell on that kid.

“Alrighty then,” he said lightly, but his face was creased with concern. “Just wondering what you thought about the new chick.”

Grant struggled to regain his composure, feeling like a gorilla at the zoo who just had his cage rattled. He stood up and stretched. “She’s not a chick. And she seems all right. Should be good for office help, at least. She wanted to work in the cafeteria.”

Jose chuckled. “Yeah, that would have been a disaster. She’s so pretty the line would have taken forever. She’s like, more than the usual pretty.”

Grant didn’t want to discuss the “new chick” but he nodded. “Yup, certainly got blessed in that department. But she seemed sort of...” His mind thought back to the tapping foot, the arms wrapped around her middle.

“Nervous?”

“Right. Or sad. I don’t know.” He shrugged and checked his watch. “But then again, it was probably because her car might get broken into out in the parking lot.”

Jose’s eyebrows went up. “She has a sweet ride, for sure. But, boss...”

“Sorry.” Grant couldn’t shake off the irritation that wrapped itself around his neck like a scarf. He rubbed a hand against the base of his skull. “I’m just on edge. True, everyone carries a burden. We’ll probably never know the whole story because after Christmas, she’ll be gone.”

“She said that?”

“No, but you know how it goes. Guilt sets in, they come sign up for a few meals, then January hits and they feel better about themselves so they never come back. Until next November.”

Jose nodded. “Well, probably a good thing anyway.”

“Why? You know something I don’t?” No matter how careful or protective he was of the people here, there would always be those who came to prey on the weaker ones. He had set up several lines of defense with background checks, personal references and lots of observant employees. But there were cracks in every fortress.

“Nope. Just thinking she’s definitely your type.” Jose grinned and waggled his thick eyebrows.

“That’s unprofessional,” he said, frowning. Unprofessional and unsettling. She wasn’t anything like his type. He felt comfortable with women who were reserved, even a little distant. The woman who came here today was a bundle of emotions; they flickered across her face like pictures on a screen.

“Yeah, it is, but it’s still true. Plus, how would this place survive if you actually got a life?”

“I do have a life. It’s just very quiet.”

“You mean, boring.” And with that Jose popped back out.

Grant sighed and pushed back his chair, stretching his long legs out under the old wooden desk. He was busy. He didn’t have time for a girlfriend. At least, that’s what he told himself.

He rubbed a hand over his face. Sometimes, when it was just a little too quiet, he thought about his mother. A beautiful woman ruined by her addictions, heartbroken when she trusted the wrong person. She never stopped reminiscing over how rich his father was, how successful. It almost seemed as if she didn’t remember that he’d left her with nothing but a baby to raise. The memory of the fast cars, wads of cash and fancy parties blurred her focus, polluted her heart. The love of money was the root of all evil, right? Grant straightened his shoulders. He was never going to be sucked into that fantasy world. He was happy, right where he was.

His mind flicked toward the image of Calista’s face, her large green eyes sparkling with hope. He wished her well. He really did. But people like that didn’t stick around places like a homeless shelter. The pull of money was too strong. And money was one thing the mission didn’t have.

If God didn’t nudge somebody to donate really soon, and in a big way, they might not even have to worry about Christmas preparations. The mission would have to close. But he would do everything in his power to make sure that didn’t happen.

* * *

Calista slid her car into the open space at the parking garage behind the mission and tried to calm her pounding heart. She allowed a small smile to touch her lips as she thought of the irony of the situation. Just that morning she had brokered a huge deal with a company in Northern California. It had been months in the making and if it succeeded, their production and distribution would be on the fast track to making VitaWow a nationwide phenomenon. Before ten this morning, she was CEO to a company that was a regional star. After ten, she was CEO to a company that could be as widely recognized as Coca-Cola in just a few years.

The irony of her anxiety now was that she hadn’t felt a bit uncomfortable going into a meeting that could decide the fate of her company. She knew business and marketing, she understood the language and the terms. More than all of that, she had a gift for business. Calista took another deep breath and shook her head.

But this mission gig had her stomach in knots. Definitely out of the comfort zone, right where God wanted her.

The short walk to the front doors of the lobby seemed to take forever but finally Calista stepped into the warmth. She headed for Lana’s desk, unbuttoning her bright red wool peacoat on the way.

The secretary glanced up and raised a hand. “Glad to see you. You’re early. I just love early people.”

Calista felt her heart lift. Lana sounded like she really was glad to see her. “I was raised in a family of chronically late people so I rebel by arriving just a bit early,” Calista said, trying not to look toward Grant’s office. She wondered if he was at the mission, or if he was in a meeting somewhere, and then was irritated at herself for wondering.

“Just a bit early is perfect. Then there are those people who come twenty minutes early for everything.” Lana rubbed the spiky ends of her hair, and Calista recognized the gesture from her last visit.

“What do you need me to do today?”

“Thanksgiving is a really busy time for us. Not just for meals. There’s lots of paperwork. It would be a relief to have someone do a little filing. We have a skeleton crew for the office right now, since two of our part-timers left for other positions.”

“You’re at the front desk a lot of the time?”

“Right, so when I’m out here, I can’t be in there,” she said, waving a hand toward the locked door on the right.

Calista’s mouth went dry and she cleared her throat. “So, I’ll be working with you at the desk, or back in the offices?” She added hastily, “I can answer phones, too. If you show me your system.” She actually hadn’t worked a switchboard since college but the thought of working in close quarters with Grant sent a thrill of alarm through her.

“Because of privacy issues, you should probably work in the office area. We can have you organize files into specific cabinets, without having to look at the papers, since they’re all color-coded.”

Calista nodded, resigned to the fact she was going to bump into the man. She would just have to get a grip. “I’m ready,” she chirped, hoping she was convincing enough.

Lana must have thought so, because she pushed a button on her phone and said, “Grant, Calista’s here.”

“Be right out.” The answering voice was familiar, in a tinny way.

Lana let go of the button. “Thanks again for the help. You’re saving me a headache.”

She smiled automatically but her mind was whirling. “Jose’s not here? I would think Grant’s way too busy to show me the filing system.”

“He’s here, but the director asked to be the one to show you around the offices.” Lana’s words were followed by the appearance of the man himself.

Calista heard the door, and turned her head in time to see him open the door with speed. He looked a little harried, his red tie crooked and crisp white shirtsleeves rolled halfway up his forearms.

He was happy to see her. At least, his expression changed from something like worry to pleasure. His lips quirked up and his eyes radiated warmth. She couldn’t stop herself from responding. It had been so long since anyone had looked happy to see her. She let her eyes drift over him for the briefest moment and then clamped down hard on any desire to give a closer examination.

“Glad you’re back. Come on in,” he said, motioning her through the door.

It was just a common phrase, but her smile only got bigger. It was like she’d swallowed a happy pill.

“I’ll show you the offices first, then the general meeting rooms and the break room.” He strode down a carpeted hallway and stopped at the first door, knocking lightly.

The affirmative answer from the inside sounded muffled, and she saw why when Grant pushed open the door. Jose was crouched near the desk, piles of power cords in his hands.

“This power strip is dead. I’ll have to get another from the supply closet. Maybe they only last a few—” His sentence trailed off as he finally caught a glimpse of his audience. “Hey, Calista. Glad to see you back.”

“Hi there,” she responded, grinning. Three people had welcomed her in less than ten minutes. She felt all warm and fuzzy inside. It had been a very long time since anybody had said “hey” to her. People didn’t say “hey” to the CEO.

“Jose’s office. He oversees the group that works with the food boxes distributed to needy families. He also organizes social activities for the residents.”

“Yup. And I say we spring for a real Santa this year. The kids are starting to suspect the truth when Santa has a Tex-Mex accent.” He grabbed his stomach and tried a few “ho ho ho” sounds.

Grant laughed and waved a hand. “You know you love it. All right, on to the next stop.”

The next door was an empty office that had a high window with a pulled shade. “One of our three empty offices. Soon to be filled, God willing. The person here handles class scheduling and addiction support. The main counselors and teachers are doing well right now, but it helps to have a manager type to handle any conflicts.”

Another short walk to the next door and Grant pushed it open without knocking. “My office. Lana started calling it my ‘man cave’ after Jose brought in a small fridge.”

“Got it stocked with beer for those slow afternoons?” She chuckled to herself the split second before she realized her mistake. “Oh, Grant. Sorry. That was stupid.” His mother was an alcoholic, Grant didn’t drink, and she’d just made a beer joke. She wanted to fall through the floor.

To her relief he seemed to shrug off the insensitive comment. “No big deal. And no beer.”

Calista gazed around the space and wondered why Grant didn’t have a nicer office. As the director, he needed to give the impression that he was the head of a thriving organization. People donated to the cause they thought would succeed—it was human nature. Maybe it was because the donors always met in the conference rooms. Or maybe with nonprofits, it might not work as well to flash too much wealth. In her world, understated luxury was the only way to go.

His office was more than understated; it was shabby. An older-than-Methuselah desk, a battered chair, a few framed photos, his diplomas and the small fridge.

“How long have you been here?”

“Five years as director, about eight altogether.”

“And you don’t even have a plant?” She turned to him with a curious look.

To her surprise, he flushed. “I should make it a little homier, considering all the time I spend in here.”

Calista nodded. “I don’t know much about charities, but if you’re bringing donors through this hallway to get to the boardroom, you had better keep this door closed.”

He let out a sound that was more of a startled cough. “I don’t think it’s all that bad, personally.”

“It’s not bad. But it doesn’t look good. And donors will judge the entire mission on you and your space.” She surveyed the room once more. “Maybe a nice framed photo of the staff, right here, that you could see when you passed down the hallway.”

Grant frowned. Putting money into furnishings when there were people who didn’t even have shoes was unthinkable. And a photo? He hated anything done for show. It smacked of insincerity to have a photo taken of his staff, even though they were his friends, just to show it off to donors. But he tried to take a mental step back and look at her advice with a cool head. He knew better than anybody that donors saw him and the mission as inseparable. He was the human face they could put on the problems of hunger and homelessness in their community.

“I suppose I can see your point. I’ll look for something that might go in that spot. I appreciate the advice.”

People didn’t usually thank her for the advice she handed out. Probably because she made it a habit to break the cardinal rule of giving advice: wait for someone to ask. She turned, surprised and ready with a quick retort if she saw the faintest suggestion of sarcasm.

Their eyes met. Time seemed to slow as he stood very still. His gaze wandered down to her mouth. It had been so long since any man had looked at her like that and she read in his blue eyes exactly what was going through his mind.

He moved a half inch forward. Calista felt a thrill course through her and couldn’t stop her breath from catching in her throat. The tiny noise she made seemed to remind him where they were and what they were doing. He blinked, and his gaze flashed back to the empty spot on the wall.

He cleared his throat and stepped back into the hallway. “I’ll show you the filing room so you can see the mess we have in there.” His voice was rough.

Calista nodded, following his lead without comment. She really needed to get a grip. All of this talk about purpose and change, but here she was ogling the director. Of course, there were some major sparks flying, but the poor man had enough on his plate without adding a woman like herself to it. She trudged behind him down the hallway, barely listening while making appropriately interested sounds. Everything about Grant Monohan made her want to be a better person, and that meant learning not to indulge every wish and whim. Not something she was really used to, but she was determined to make herself useful at the mission...and stay out of his way.

* * *

Grant struggled to put words together as he led Calista down the hallway toward the file room. His mind churned as he pointed out stacks of loose files, gave her a quick tutorial and then made as quick an exit as was humanly possible.

He reentered his office and shut the door, leaning heavily against it. What on earth had just happened there? One minute she was giving him sound business advice, and then next he was about to make a move on the pretty new volunteer. He felt a shiver of fear run through him. Maybe all the stress of making their low funds stretch through the holidays was messing with his head. Maybe he needed to get some counseling to make sure he was staying on track.

And being seconds from kissing a woman in his office was about as offtrack as he could get.

He didn’t even really know much about her, except she was smart, bossy and emotionally vulnerable in a way that made him want to protect her from the world. But she didn’t need him to do that. Rich people just hired someone to protect them. Grant rubbed his temples and tried to corral his thoughts.

In a job like this, you had to understand the danger of becoming too emotionally close to the people who needed your help. It was okay to make friends, to give support and encouragement; it wasn’t okay to let attraction lead to actions. To be fair, it was definitely a mutual attraction. The way her eyes looked at him told him that.