скачать книгу бесплатно
In his position as vice president of a brokerage firm, Bryon traveled frequently, and he wanted Sonya to travel with him. How could she have been so fortunate—a country girl from Ohio having an opportunity to travel to so many large cities and resort areas? They had lived a perfect honeymoon existence until that afternoon in early August when she had come home from the doctor.
She was sure of her pregnancy even before she had consulted the obstetrician, but she hadn’t told Bryon about it. She suspected he might be displeased, but she hadn’t anticipated the depth of his wrath.
He’d been dressing for a dinner party when she’d scurried into the apartment In her excitement, she had forgotten about the engagement.
“I thought you weren’t going to make it. You have only thirty minutes to dress. Where have you been?” He was buttoning his white shirt and poring over his tie selection on the closet door.
Sonya laid aside her purse. “I’ll shower quickly and dress.” It was a relief to put off telling him.
Before she entered the bathroom, Bryon repeated, “Where have you been?”
“To the doctor.”
His hands stopped in the midst of fashioning his tie, and he turned quickly.
“Are you sick?”
Sonya was gladdened by the concern in his voice. Bryon had never talked much about his childhood, but once he had mentioned that when he was in elementary school, his mother had been sick, and he’d been sent away to live with his grandmother for two years. “That was the saddest time of my life,” he had said. Perhaps he was afraid if she became ill, he would be abandoned again, but surely that wasn’t a normal reaction for an adult
“Are you sick?” he repeated.
Sonya couldn’t control the smile that spread across her face. “No…I’m pregnant.”
Abject silence followed her statement. The anger spreading across Bryon’s face took away any desire to talk that Sonya might have had, and Bryon looked as if he had been struck speechless. When he found his voice, Sonya cringed with fear.
“Pregnant,” he shouted, and Sonya feared Leta would hear him. “Why have you done this? I told you to take care of that sort of thing before we married. Why did you allow this to happen? You know I don’t like kids.”
And why didn’t he? He ignored the children of their friends so much that she was often embarrassed by him.
“I’ve used the same type of birth control since we were married, but any doctor will tell you that no method is completely safe,” Sonya said, hastening to defend herself.
“Well, you march yourself right back to that doctor in the morning and have him do something about it.”
“What do you mean?” Sonya asked, and she sat down on the water bed to still her trembling legs, but the sway of the mattress made her dizzy.
“I’ve told you I don’t want kids. Get rid of it”
“You don’t mean an abortion?” Sonya cried.
“Certainly. That’s no problem anymore.”
Sonya’s shock turned to anger. “Forget that, Bryon Dixon,” she said. “You’re as much responsible for this child as I am. You’ll have to learn to like it.” She went to Bryon and put her arms around him, speaking more tenderly. “You might not like kids now, but your own child will be different It might be fun to have a baby.”
He jerked away from her. “Babies stink. They cry. They vomit on you. This apartment would be crowded with toys, a crib and dozens of other things. How can I entertain my friends with a baby here?”
“The Shraders have children, and they give delightful parties.”
He looked at her appraisingly. “But think how you’ll look. Your beauty will be ruined forever. I want a wife to keep me company, not one who sits home breeding.”
Surely he didn’t consider her a possession, like the trophies he so proudly displayed on the living room mantel. Sonya’s pulse raced, and her head throbbed. Bryon couldn’t be saying these things!
He gave his tie a final jerk and bolted out the door without waiting for her.
He hadn’t come home until early morning. It was the first night they had spent apart since their marriage, but certainly not the last one as she soon found out.
Trying to rid her mind of the incident, Sonya laid aside the letter and picked up the evening newspaper. But she could barely skim the headlines because her mind continued to think about Bryon. His behavior during the past weeks had changed completely from their first two years of marriage. He had never before spent long evenings away from home or gone on business trips without her. Now, if he entertained his friends, he did so somewhere else rather than at the apartment. He never mentioned her pregnancy. How could the mere mention of a child cause a man to change so much?
Sonya had ignored his changed attitude. When he was home, she prepared his meals. She looked after his personal needs as she always had. She hadn’t nagged at his long absences. When they talked, she acted as if their relations were normal, even after he started sleeping in the guest bedroom.
Sonya privately nursed her hurt, fully believing that when the baby arrived, Bryon would be happy about it And even with his letter, she still couldn’t believe that he would actually leave her. They had shared such a beautiful love. How could he change so quickly?
If it had been true love, he wouldn’t have changed, her conscience needled.
Sonya didn’t go to bed until after midnight as she tensely awaited a telephone call and listened for the sound of his key in the apartment door. Then she felt his arms around her, and they shared the bliss that she’d missed so much. She gave a glad cry, which awakened her, and she sobbed when she realized that he hadn’t come home—she had been dreaming.
As she struggled out of bed the next morning, she shuddered when she looked in the mirror.
“No wonder he left me,” she moaned.
The combined effect of morning sickness and Bryon’s rejection had caused her to lose weight. As yet, she didn’t outwardly show her pregnancy, but she was only a shadow of the beauty queen that Bryon had pursued. She hadn’t slept well for weeks, and the black circles under her eyes made her appear old and haggard. Even her hair looked listless and drab.
While she sat on the side of the bed waiting for her nausea to lessen, she felt a slight movement in her womb, the first outward sign she’d had that a new life grew within her. She pressed her hand to her stomach. It had been so fleeting, just a fluttery feeling, really. For a moment she thought she’d only imagined it. But no, it had been real. A real baby lived and grew inside her now. The idea was almost overwhelming.
I can’t do much about the weight loss, Sonya thought as she examined her image in the bathroom mirror, but I can at least do something with my hair. I’ll call the beauty salon for an appointment
By the time Sonya returned from the beauty shop, the mail had been delivered, and she looked eagerly through the collection of bills and junk mail hoping for a letter from Bryon saying it was all a mistake. Nothing!
Sonya put the bills in the desk where Bryon would find them and trashed the other items.
Knowing she couldn’t go through another night of suspense, Sonya finally dialed the brokerage firm and asked for Riley Shrader. Riley and his wife, Lola, were close friends.
“Hi, Riley,” she said. “This is Sonya.”
“I didn’t know you were back, Sonya. How did you like San Francisco?”
“Oh, I didn’t go with Bryon this time. That’s the reason I telephoned. Do you know when he’s returning? I looked for him day before yesterday, but I must have been wrong. Has he been delayed?”
A long silence ensued, and Sonya said, “Riley, are you still there?”
“Yes,” Riley answered, and his voice sounded strained. “I was checking to see if I could find Bryon’s schedule. I don’t seem to have it.”
“Then I won’t bother you anymore. Let me know if you learn anything.”
Why had Riley thought she’d gone with Bryon? Had he told his friend that? She had wondered why Lola hadn’t telephoned during the past week. Had Bryon shared his dissatisfaction with the Shraders?
Sonya settled down to another evening of waiting and wondering. Surely Bryon would telephone tonight, if for no other reason than to learn her reaction to his letter.
When the bell rang at eight o’clock, Sonya moved weakly toward the door. This had to be Bryon, but she took the precaution of checking through the peephole. Riley and Lola Shrader stood in the hallway.
“Have you heard from Bryon?” she whispered as she opened the door. “Is there something wrong?”
She swayed on her feet, and Riley led her to the couch.
“Steady, Sonya,” he said. “I’m sure Bryon is all right. We stopped by to check on you.”
“I appreciate it,” Sonya said hoarsely. Her mouth felt dry and hot.
“You don’t look so well,” Lola said. “Are you sick?”
“I’m pregnant,” Sonya admitted. Because of Bryon’s attitude, Sonya had told no one except her parents about the baby. “I’m having the usual morning sickness, and I’m not sleeping well. I’m tired all the time. The doctor says this is normal, and that I’ll feel better soon.”
Riley and Lola were the parents of three children, and Sonya expected them to be happy about her condition, but instead, tears came to Lola’s eyes, and Riley refused to meet Sonya’s gaze.
“What do you know that I don’t?” Sonya asked with bated breath.
“I suppose you have to hear it,” Riley said. “Bryon asked for a transfer to the San Francisco branch, and he starts work in that office tomorrow. He’s been there this week looking for lodging. None of us at the office had any idea that you weren’t with him, until you telephoned today.”
Sweat drenched Sonya’s hands, and she clutched the arms of her chair. She stared at Riley. Was this really happening, or was she dreaming again?
“When did he ask for the transfer?”
“About a month ago. Didn’t you know he was doing this?”
She shook her head, and Lola cried, “But what’s happened? I didn’t think there was any happier couple in Omaha than you two. What went wrong?”
Sonya rose wearily from her chair, picked up Bryon’s letter and handed it to Riley. Lola moved close to him and read the message over his shoulder.
“Bryon mentioned before we were married that he didn’t want any children, and I didn’t care one way or another. He blames me for becoming pregnant, although I haven’t done anything different than we’ve always done. He demanded that I get an abortion, and when I refused, he hasn’t had anything else to do with me. We’ve been living under the same roof, but that’s all.”
“The brute!” Lola said.
“I’ve been patient, thinking that he would change his mind when he got used to the idea, but I never suspected that he would go this far. All day long, I’ve been asking myself if I’ve deluded myself into thinking he loved me, but in spite of my doubts, I can’t give him up.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Riley asked.
“I don’t know what to do myself,” Sonya admitted. “I suppose I’m still in shock. I keep thinking it’s a bad dream.”
“I wish it were, but he’s gone,” Riley said. “He cleaned out his office and took everything from his desk with him.”
“Did he go alone? Has anyone else from Omaha been transferred?”
Riley stared at the toe of his shoe, but he finally said, “No one else has gone.”
He stood and laid a sympathetic hand on Sonya’s shoulder.
“If he doesn’t telephone me, I’ll get in touch with him some way,” Sonya said. “Perhaps you can give me the address and telephone number of the San Francisco branch.” Sonya put her arm around Lola. “I do appreciate having you come by.”
“Would you like me to spend the night with you?” Lola offered as she hugged Sonya tightly.
“No, I’ll be fine.” Sonya forced a smile, but the moment the door closed behind the Shraders, she picked up one of the oriental vases that Bryon’s mother had given them. She hurled it across the room, and when it hit the opposite wall with a crash, fragments shattered all over the carpet.
“Maybe there’s a little Leta in all of us,” she muttered.
Grabbing a pair of scissors, she headed for the guest bedroom. “I’ll pack his clothes for him,” she said, and she jerked shirts and trousers off the hangers, threw them in a heap on the floor and tramped over them. Lifting his ties from the rack, one by one, she cut them in two and tossed the pieces on top of the clothing.
When the last tie was mutilated, Sonya hurled the scissors from her and, sobbing, she collapsed on the bed where he had slept. The scent of his cologne enveloped her, and in her fancy, Bryon lay beside her, holding her in his arms, moving his lips over hers. How can I live without him? How dare he walk off and leave me?
For two days Sonya cried. She didn’t leave the apartment, no one phoned, and the doorbell was silent She didn’t shower; she didn’t eat. She didn’t care much what happened to her. Each day when the mail fell through the slot, she searched it quickly—nothing but bills and junk mail, no word from Bryon.
When she awakened on the fifth day after she had received Bryon’s letter, Sonya stirred with a new determination.
“Even if I don’t care what happens to me, I have a life growing within me. I have a responsibility to it, so I’m going to start fighting. I have to survive.” But in spite of her brave words, Sonya was scared. What if Bryon didn’t come back, and she had to rear the child by herself? For a moment she hated Bryon intensely for worrying her so much, but she swiped the tears from her eyes. Of course, she didn’t hate her husband; she loved him.
Chapter Two (#ulink_d3bcae01-0a11-51a8-b8c1-d62219a385fb)
The doorbell rang before Sonya finished her breakfast. Eager to speak to someone, she hurried to the door. Through the peephole, she saw Leta.
“Come in, neighbor. Join me for a cup of coffee.”
“Bryon already gone to work? I don’t want to interfere with his schedule.”
Was there any reason for further secrecy? she asked herself.
“He isn’t here,” Sonya said, heading back to the kitchen. She poured a cup of coffee for Leta and asked, “Do you want some toast, too?”
“No, just the coffee. You look terrible. What’s the matter with you?”
“Bryon has left me.”
Leta strangled on a sip of coffee and stared at her. Did it take something this drastic to shock Leta into silence? Sonya wondered.
“When did that happen?” Leta finally asked.
“He went on a business trip to San Francisco ten days ago, and I’ve learned it’s a permanent move.” She briefly apprised Leta of the events of the past few days.
“You mean he didn’t tell you he was leaving! The dog! Another woman, I suppose?”
That thought hadn’t occurred to Sonya. Surely not! Bryon often laughed about the girls at the office who flirted with him, but he’d never indicated he took any of them seriously.
“No, there’s no other woman. He left because I’m pregnant, and he didn’t like that.”
“My word, Sonya, you do have trouble! At least when my two men walked off, I didn’t have a passel of kids to trouble me. Men often start straying when their wives are pregnant. How far along are you?”
“A bit more than three months.”
“Of course, even if it is another woman, he’ll probably beg to come back after the baby’s born and you regain your good looks.”
“I don’t know what to do, Leta. Bryon took care of all our business affairs, and if he’s gone, I won’t even have an income.” Sonya hadn’t thought of this before, but now it filled her with panic. What would she do for money?
