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‘You here on your own?’ he continued, and I looked back up at him, unaware I’d actually broken the stare, but I must have done at some point. ‘I’m here with friends. We work in a tattoo studio back home in the UK.’ There really was something about this stranger that made me feel as if I’d known him for years. Or that I’d, at least, seen him somewhere before. And I just couldn’t shake that feeling.
He leant back against the counter beside me, folding his arms as he looked out ahead of him, and I followed his gaze, watching the crowds as they flitted from stand to stand, doing whatever it was people did at events like this, because I really had no idea. This was all still quite new to me. It had a good vibe, though, I knew that much.
‘So, you’re here for the convention, then?’ he asked.
I nodded, then remembered he wasn’t actually looking at me, so he wouldn’t have been able to see my response. ‘Yeah. Yeah, we are.’
He turned to face me. ‘You in Vegas for long, Lana?’
Oh, dear God! The way he said my name! How did he do that?
‘A couple of days.’
My fingers tightened around the beer bottles I’d suddenly realised I was still holding, as his eyes once more met mine.
‘You’re not hanging around, then.’ It was more of a statement than a question.
‘No. No, we’re not.’
I finally broke the stare, looking down at my boots.
‘Okay, so, if you’re not gonna be around for long… How do you fancy a night to remember, sweetheart?’
I almost dropped the beers, my head shooting straight back up. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘Come out with me. Tonight. What d’you say, darlin’?’
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That had thrown me. Somewhat. ‘I… I don’t know…’ Why didn’t I know?
Just say yes, Lana. Just say yes!
‘I know we’ve only just met, but…’ He shrugged. ‘Does that really matter?’ He raised an eyebrow, his mouth twisting up into a slight smirk. How could anybody manage to make that look so incredibly sexy? And even though there was a part of me that wanted to scream, Do you know what? We might have only just met, but what the hell! Yes, I’ll go out with you! there was another part of me – remnants of the old, more reserved and cautious Lana, maybe – that was holding back. A part of me that was slightly wary of accepting his invitation.
‘No. It doesn’t really matter, but…’ That cautious part had won. ‘Look, I… I really should go and find my friends…’
He pushed a hand through his hair, and I watched as his expression changed, his eyes dipping briefly before he looked back at me. ‘I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, in any way, it’s just that, when I saw you last night…’
‘You saw me last night?’ My voice appeared to have gone up an octave, and I gave a little cough in the hope it would return to normal next time I opened my mouth. ‘Where?’ Thankfully, it had.
‘In the bar, downstairs. You staying here?’
I nodded, and then I suddenly realised where I’d seen him before – or, at least, where I thought I’d seen him before. ‘Were you with a group of bikers?’
He smiled, and I kind of liked the way his eyes crinkled up at the edges when he did that. ‘You saw us?’
‘Yeah. Yeah, I saw you.’
‘You were with a tall, tattooed guy,’ Eddie went on. ‘Boyfriend?’
‘Brother,’ I corrected, pleased my voice appeared to be behaving itself now.
‘Do you have a boyfriend?’
My eyes were fixed on his as I spoke, my voice still steady as a rock, despite my insides misbehaving in a way they hadn’t done in a long, long time. ‘Is that any of your business?’
He laughed quietly, raking a hand through his hair. ‘There’s something about you, Lana.’
I continued to stare at him, right at him. That weird feeling I’d experienced last night, as I’d left the bar – was that down to him?
‘You stood out, from everybody else in that room last night.I don’t know why, I just… My eyes, they went straight to you, the second I walked in. And that incredible sleeve tattoo you’ve got, that might’ve had something to do with it. That’s some pretty eye-catching ink there, darlin’.’
I looked at my arm, absentmindedly running my hand up and down it.
‘You seem like the kind of woman I…’ He trailed off, his eyes dropping to the floor. ‘Anyway, seeing you here…’He raised his gaze, looking straight at me. ‘Do you believe in fate?’
I narrowed my eyes slightly. ‘About as much as I believe in the tooth fairy.’ I wasn’t sure I’d meant that to sound quite as cynical as it had come out.
He raised that eyebrow again, and I was beginning to wish he’d stop doing that because it was really messing with my head. ‘You’ve never believed in the tooth fairy?’
I shrugged. ‘I was a cynical child.’
‘And…are you still cynical?’
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. He kind of made me want to smile. ‘Not as much.’
He smiled too, and I found myself relaxing that little bit more, a strange yet comforting warmth flooding through me. I was actually starting to enjoy myself now.
‘That’s a shame. Because you don’t look like a cynical woman to me.’
‘And what does a cynical woman look like, exactly?’
His head dropped again, and I couldn’t help noticing the way his hair fell forward; the way he quickly pushed it back off his face as he turned to look at me again. ‘About tonight…’
His eyes almost burned into mine, my skin breaking out in goose bumps as a warm shiver ran right up my back. And for a few seconds – a few glorious, almost unreal, seconds – it was like we were the only two people in the room. ‘I… Eddie, I can’t. I can’t.’ Reality – and my over-cautious side – returned. And the moment was gone.
‘Okay.’ He shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. ‘I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but… You take care now, darlin’, you hear?’
I nodded, giving him one more smile before I turned and started to walk away, bumping straight into Finn, who was quite obviously on his way to find me.
‘Where the hell have you been?’ he asked, taking a beer from me. ‘Thought you were brewing the stuff yourself… What?’
I took a quick glance behind me, and Finn’s gaze followed mine.
‘What am I supposed to be looking at?’
My eyes were still on Eddie as he disappeared back into the mass of people. ‘That guy over there. The one in the black-leather biker jacket… He’s pushing a hand through his hair now, look! Him.’
Finn frowned. ‘Yeah? What about him?’
I took a second or two to let that totally unexpected encounter sink in a little more before I spoke again. ‘He just asked me out.’
‘Fuck off!’ Finn laughed, his expression changing only when he saw mine. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’
‘And what did you say?’
‘I said I couldn’t.’ I closed my eyes and threw back my head, letting out the longest groan. ‘Why did I say that?’
‘Beats me, kiddo.’
I looked at him. ‘You’re no help.’
‘What do you want me to do? I can go check him out for you, if you like. You know, do the brotherly thing, find out if he’s got any dark secrets…’
I threw Finn a look. ‘I just got a shock, you know? It was a bit of a surprise, that’s all. I mean, it’s not like it’s been an everyday occurrence for me, has it? Men asking me out.’
‘Only because you’ve shied away from any attention of that kind, Lana. Believe me, sis, there’s a queue of people back home all gagging to ask you out, but that look you give sometimes… it kind of warns them off. You do know you’re doing that, don’t you? It’s like a fucking death stare…’
‘I’d just walked out on Adam.’
‘That was a year ago, Lana.’
‘I’d just walked out on my life, and I’m still trying to get used to a new one. Relationships have been the last thing on my mind.’
‘And now?’
‘My divorce has just come through, Finn.’
‘And your point is?’
I threw him yet another of my withering looks. ‘I turned him down, okay? Conversation over.’
‘Why –did you turn him down, I mean?’
‘Why?’
‘Yes. Why?’
It was a question I’d probably be asking myself for days to come, if I was honest. ‘Look, the ink isn’t even dry on my divorce papers…’
‘What’s that got to do with anything? Listen, Lana, it really is time to start living again. I know this year’s been tough on youand I know you’ve tried to move on, but you haven’t really made all that much progress, have you?’
I stared at him with wide eyes, indicating my tattoos, my black-tipped hair; my skinny jeans and biker boots. ‘This isn’t progress?’
‘That’s all wrapping paper, kiddo. I’m talking about what’s going on inside.’
‘You’re very perceptive, all of a sudden.’
He pulled a face, downing another mouthful of beer. ‘Why not take a chance now and again? That’s all I’m saying.’
I looked back out into the crowd, even though I knew Eddie would be long gone and the slight pang of regret I’d felt since he’d walked away intensified. Why couldn’t I just have said yes? There’d been something about that manand not just the way he looked, all edgy and rough and, quite frankly, hotashell. There’d just been something about him… the way he’d looked at me. There was a connection there and I’d just severed it, dead. ‘Should I have accepted?’ I asked quietly, still staring out into the crowd, as though willing Eddie to reappear. Eddie Fletcher – the kind of Prince Charming who wouldn’t so much ride up on a white stallion, he’d be more likely to cruise up on a Harley, and I’d turned him down!
Oh God! I’d said no! How could I have said no?! Lana, you idiot!
Finn shrugged, his voice pulling me back to reality. ‘All I’m saying is, you’re trying to build this new life for yourself, right? And I can only do so much, you know? I mean, I’ve given you one hell of a kick-start…’
I playfully nudged his arm. ‘Don’t sell yourself short or anything.’
‘I really am being serious now, Lana. Sometimes in life you’ve just got to take a risk. And this could have been one of those times.’
I sighed. ‘I’m not looking for any kind of relationship, Finn, you know that.’
‘He asked you out, sis. He didn’t propose.’
He put his arm around my shoulders again and I hugged his waist tight as we walked. ‘It just all feels a bit… I dunno. Odd. Surreal.’
‘Truthfully, did even the tiniest part of you want to say yes to him?’ Finn asked.
‘Yeah. It did. It really did.’
‘Then you should have gone with your gut, girl.’
‘I know,’ I sighed, because regret was kicking in big-time now.
‘I mean, what happened to that fun-loving, kick-ass woman you told me you were gonna become? I thought you were someone who was determined to take life by the balls and live it.’
‘I am. It’s just… it’s still hard for me, sometimes, to get my head around the fact that this is me now. You know what I was like before, and this – this is so different.’
Finn flashed me a huge grin. ‘Yeah, but just remember how boring your life was before you started hanging out with me again.’
I smiled at him, knowing he was kind of right. But my life hadn’t been that bad before. It just hadn’t been the life I’d wanted in the end. ‘Even if I was looking to start all that dating crap again, Finn, I’m not sure… Look, all of this is pointless. I said no, he’s gone, it’s over.’
Finn gave my hand a little squeeze. ‘You’ve still got me.’
‘Yeah. I’ve still got you.’ I leant over to kiss his cheek. ‘And I’ve still got this weekend in Vegas.’
But what kind of weekend could it have been? The chance to find out was gone now. I’d blown it. Whoever Eddie Fletcher was, I’d probably never see him again. And that was nobody’s fault but my own.
Pulling the hem of my dress, which I still thought was a little too short, down over my thighs, I quickly looked around as I waited for the elevator to arrive. Black, strapless, and just about skimming my arse, I couldn’t deny I loved the way it made me feel, despite its slightly daring length. I’d teamed it with knee-high, black, spike-heeled boots, which made my legs look pretty much incredible, even if I did say so myself, and with my long blonde-and-black hair hanging in large, loose curls down my back, my make-up all dark eyes and pale lips, those tattoos I was so proud of all on show, I felt every inch the wannabe biker chick I’d always dreamt of becoming. I was slowly getting used to the fact that I could scrub up pretty well for a woman about to hit forty. I still had it, and I was damn well going to make sure I flaunted it, while I still could.
Taking a quick peek in the full-length mirror on the wall beside the elevator, I studied my reflection carefully. The woman staring back at me was one I still wasn’t all that familiar with, but I was getting a little more used to her as each day passed. And a lot of that was down to Finn. He’d made me realise it wasn’t a crime to change, if that was what you needed to do. He’d given me a strength and a confidence I’d never had before, and I loved him so much for that. So much. Because, without him, I wasn’t sure I’d be where I was right now.
As the elevator doors slowly slid open I pulled the hem of my dress down again, wiggling my hips slightly to help it on its way.
‘Whoa!’
