The Secrets Between Them

“Good idea,” Evan replied. “I have a baseball cap in the Jeep. I’ll be sure to grab it on my way down the drive.”

Hannah took the tube of sunscreen off the shelf by the kitchen door that opened onto the wood deck. She had intended to give it to Evan and let him take it with him. But she hesitated a moment, remembering what he’d said about taking off his T-shirt when he went back to work. It was even warmer outdoors now, and without his shirt on, he’d be even more exposed to the more intense rays of the afternoon sun….

“I…I could rub some lotion on your back if you’d like,” she offered in a tentative tone, afraid of appearing to be too forward. “That is, if you’re going to take off your shirt later.”

Evan met her gaze steadily, not saying anything for several long seconds, surprise and something else Hannah couldn’t quite define evident in his eyes. Sure that she’d blundered badly, she felt her face flush. Embarrassed, she looked away and silently moved to set the tube of sunscreen on the table, wishing she could now be the one to think of a clever comment to ease the discomfort she’d caused between them this time. She was a thirty-two-year-old mother—a widow for heaven’s sake—and yet here she was feeling as awkward as if it was her first date. Had the past few years changed her that much?

She already knew the answer.

“Hey, that’s an offer I can’t refuse,” Evan said, his deep voice cutting into her thoughts as he caught her by the hand.

Glancing up at him, Hannah saw gentleness and encouragement in his eyes, as well, and felt her chagrin slowly fade away.

“I prefer working without a shirt when it’s hot outdoors, but I don’t want to risk a bad sunburn, especially on my back,” he added, letting go of her hand to pull off his T-shirt.

“The sun can be pretty fierce up here even when the air is still cool,” Hannah advised, fiddling with the cap on the tube to keep from staring outright at his broad, bare shoulders, smooth, muscular chest and flat abdomen.

Again she realized how strong and fit he was despite his spare build. She wondered if he’d worked out with weights in his other life, but didn’t have the courage to ask. In fact, finding the courage to squeeze a dollop of sunscreen out of the tube and onto her fingertips as he turned away from her, then reach out and begin rubbing it onto his equally smooth and muscular back was about as much as she could handle at the moment.

At the first touch of her fingers to his bare skin, Evan flinched, causing Hannah to make a startled movement, as well.

“Sorry—” she began, pulling her hand away. “Did I do something to—”

“Not at all,” he assured her, glancing over his shoulder at her and offering her a wry smile. “The lotion just felt a little cool against my skin.”

“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” she murmured apologetically.

“It didn’t feel bad. It just took me by surprise,” Evan said, glancing at her again, his smile widening. “A little friction between your fingers and my bare skin and I believe that lotion will warm up very nicely.”

It wasn’t only the lotion that warmed up nicely as Hannah rubbed it carefully into Evan’s bare back. Her face grew hotter by the moment as unexpected and quite unseemly thoughts of fingers, friction and bare skin danced unbidden into her head.

Years had passed since she and Stewart had last shared a close, physically intimate relationship. She had learned over time to direct her sexual energy into other things until it dissipated—caring for Stewart, for Will, the house, the gardens when she could. For longer than she could remember, she had been sure that she would never experience sexual desire again.

But obviously the wanting, the needing to be held by a man, to be kissed and caressed with an equally strong want and need hadn’t really disappeared as she’d supposed. Apparently her want and need had simply been sublimated, lurking in her subconscious, ready and waiting for just the right stimulation to come along.

“Mommy, you have a funny look on your face,” Will announced, startling Hannah out of her reverie with the thoroughness of a splash of icy water. “Are you sleepy?”

Aware that she had likely been rubbing Evan Graham’s back far longer than absolutely necessary, Hannah pulled her hand away, blushed even more deeply and gazed at her son with dismay.

“Sleepy?”

“Yes, Mommy. Your eyes were kind of closing.”

“Oh, well, I was just…thinking about…some things,” she said, knowing that Evan was now looking at her curiously, too.

She couldn’t believe she had succumbed so completely to the unexpected allure of his masculinity. He’d only taken off his shirt, for goodness sake, and she’d only been applying a film of sunscreen to his back.

Evan was a nice guy—his kindness in smoothing over their awkward moments had proven that. But nice didn’t equal interested. She couldn’t afford to mistake the two.

Hannah risked a glance at him, and wondered, first, if he had any idea of the trail her thoughts had been taking, then hoped against hope that he hadn’t. He met her gaze, his expression reassuringly bland until Will piped up again.

“Must have been pretty good things, Mommy, ’cause you looked happy, too.”

“Um, yes,” she admitted, focusing her attention on replacing the cap on the tube of sunscreen, but not before she glimpsed the knowing smile suddenly sketched across Evan’s handsome face.

There was no doubt in Hannah’s mind then that the man had been conscious to some degree of how her demeanor had altered. The brisk, businesslike rub of a hand was entirely different from a slow caress—as well as easily discernible by the recipient. And no matter how she wished she could deny it, she had definitely been caressing Evan Graham’s back only a few moments ago.

“Time for me to get back to work,” he said, pulling his T-shirt on again.

“Me, too, after I get Will settled in for his nap,” Hannah agreed. “Take the sunscreen with you and don’t forget your cap.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Evan winked at her as he took the tube of sunscreen she held out to him, then turned to head out the side door.

“Do I have to take a nap today, Mommy?” Will asked as he did most every day, jumping out of his chair.

“Just a short one, okay? Otherwise you’ll be really tired later…cranky, too, and that’s no fun at all,” Hannah reminded him, trying to get Evan’s wink out of her mind.

“Okay, but just one hour.”

“One hour, it is,” she agreed. “Go wash your hands, then take off your shoes and climb into bed.”

“Can Nellie have a nap with me? Please, Mommy, please.”

“Let me see how much it’s going to be to get her cleaned off.” Luckily, the dog had stayed on the porch while they ate lunch. Luckily, too, the mud on her paws had dried enough so that it flaked off easily enough. Thus one less battle before Will settled down to rest was eliminated.

With boy and dog stretched out on Will’s twin bed, Hannah returned to the kitchen to wash the dishes they’d used at lunch. The task usually required only a few minutes of her time. But that afternoon she lingered far longer than necessary, fingers sifting through the froth of soap bubbles atop the sink full of warm water, her thoughts miles away.

Well, not miles away, she acknowledged when at last she pulled the stopper and let the now brackish water drain away. More like a few hundred yards or so—just down the drive to the vegetable gardens where Evan Graham was working, likely with his shirt off, his bare chest bronzing in the sun….

Giving herself a firm mental shake, Hannah left the dishes to dry on the drain board and stepped out the back door onto the deck. She had better things to do than moon over Evan Graham.

Okay, maybe not necessarily better, but certainly more productive. And just then being productive was the best thing she could think of to do.

Chapter Four

“That was an excellent meal, Hannah,” Evan said, trying not to wince too noticeably as he stood, picked up his plate, silverware and glass and started across the kitchen to the sink. “Eggplant Parmesan is a favorite of mine and I haven’t had any as good as yours, even in a fancy, high-priced restaurant. Your Italian salad was wonderful, too.”

“Thanks a lot,” Hannah replied. She paused to collect Will’s dishes as well as her own before joining him at the sink. “I have another pan of it in the freezer so it will definitely be on the menu again. In a few weeks we’ll have lettuce fresh from the garden for our salads, too. You’ll be amazed at how much better it is than store-bought.”

“Worth all the hard work, huh?” he asked.

Turning on the faucet, he rinsed the plates, then taking the initiative even further, he plugged the sink and poured in a dollop of dish detergent.

“Just wait and see,” she said, adding as he put the dishes in the hot, soapy water, “Hey, you don’t have to do the dishes for me.”

Wincing inwardly, this time as a result of the pang of guilt Hannah’s sprightly “just wait and see” had caused him, Evan scrubbed a plate with the dishcloth.

“You cooked. Let me at least help a little with the cleanup,” he requested with a smile.

“I mostly chopped lettuce, sliced onions and tomatoes, and slid the casserole dish in the oven. You worked hard all day, clearing beds and hauling debris to the compost bin.”

“You worked hard, too, moving all those seedlings out of the greenhouses and onto the deck.”

“I worked hard, too, didn’t I, Mommy?” Will demanded, bouncing over to the sink, empty glass in hand. “And I finished all my milk. Can I please watch television now?”

“Yes, you worked hard, too, and thank you for finishing all your milk, and yes, you may watch television, but only for one hour.”

“Thank you, Mommy.”

Mother and son exchanged a quick hug, then Will bounded off to the living room, the ever-faithful Nellie close at his heels. Taking a clean towel from the drawer and selecting a dish from the drain board to dry, Hannah seemed to accept his offer without further argument.

“He’s a really good child, isn’t he?” Evan asked, voicing his thought aloud after they had worked together for a few minutes in silence. “Very bright and well-adjusted.”

“Do I detect the faintest hint of surprise in your voice?” Hannah quizzed in return, only half-teasingly.

Glancing at her, Evan saw that beneath her pleasant demeanor, her steady gaze held a very definite challenge in it. He could lie to her, as he already was in so many ways that could prove to be hurtful, or make an attempt at being honest. Since he only lied out of absolute necessity in order to get a job done, he chose now to tell the truth.

“Yes, actually, I’m sure you did,” he said, focusing his attention on the sink full of dirty dishes submerged in the soapy water. “You’re a widow on you own here, raising your son without any help. Both you and Will have had to deal with the death of your husband, his father. That has to have taken an emotional toll on the two of you. Grief can often lead to anger and depression that can then be directed at an innocent party. I’ve seen that happen in the past, but I don’t see any indication of that happening with you and Will.”

Several beats of silence followed Evan’s comments causing him to glance again at Hannah. She wasn’t looking at him, but staring instead at the plate she held, continuing to rub it with her towel though it had already been thoroughly dried. The corners of her mouth turned down in a thoughtful frown, as she seemed to search for a reasonable reply.

“My husband was…ill for a long time,” she said at last, glancing up at him, then quickly away again. “By the time he died…we’d had time to accept that we were losing him.” She hesitated, took a deep breath, then continued quietly. “We did grieve for him. But his death was also a blessing for…all of us. I think that made it a little easier for us to cope with our sadness. It helped, too, that Will was old enough at the time to understand a lot of…things.” She paused again, finally set aside the plate and reached for another. “As you said, he’s very bright and well-adjusted. I’m very lucky in that respect.”

“He’s lucky, too, Hannah—you’re a very bright, very loving and understanding mother.” And a fascinating woman, Evan silently noted.

“I appreciate the compliment, but are you sure you’ve known me long enough to make that kind of assumption,” she asked with another glance at him, half-teasing once again.

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