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She wanted to believe him, but the skeptical part of her ran deep. For now, she’d give him the benefit of the doubt until he proved her wrong. Then she’d be there to take charge of Jack. “Okay, then.” She backed away from the fence. “Be sure and check that the shoes you buy have at least an inch between his toe and the end of the shoe. And he really needs a warmer jacket.” Jack waved again. And she waved back, unable to keep from smiling. He looked excited. “And maybe a haircut?”
“Maybe what he really needs is a friend to come along and help.”
Was he asking her to join them? Out of the question. This was just what she’d worried about. Getting drawn into the problem. She’d been in that situation several times, and it always ended with her heart being broken. “Oh. No. I’m sure you’ll do fine. The store clerks will help you find what he needs.”
Seth cocked an eyebrow. “He asked about you this morning. He went to the front window several times, hoping to see you and wave.”
“He did?” The thought warmed her. She’d thought about it several times and decided against it.
“Carrie, honestly, I really could use your help. I’m out of my comfort zone here.”
Her gaze drifted to Jack, his little smile climbing inside her heart and taking root. She wanted to make sure he had what he needed. “Okay. Give me a few minutes to change.”
Once again she ignored the voice telling her to stay home and mind her own business. But she had to admit that spending time with Jack was appealing. As far as Seth was concerned, that was a different problem. She stopped at her back door and glanced back. Seth was leaning against the truck, looking good in his dark jeans and a deep blue cotton shirt rolled up at the sleeves. He could have been posing for an advertisement.
Nope. This was not good...at all.
Chapter Three (#u517610f7-f802-5ff4-95dd-2b9e9af92d40)
A short while later, settled in the large cab, Carrie questioned her decision to join the shopping trip. Especially when, after picking up a car seat and having it installed, Seth took the highway toward Sawyer’s Bend, the large city nearest to Dover, and not the more convenient local stores. “Is there a reason we’re driving thirty miles from Dover to shop?”
She’d meant the question to be teasing, but the way Seth gripped the steering wheel told her she’d hit a nerve.
“Bigger stores. Better selection.”
He wasn’t telling her everything. She studied him. His head was tilted to one side in a thoughtful pose, but the veins in his neck pulsed and his chin jutted slightly forward. He was upset or worried or both. Was it because of Jack? Was he regretting his commitment to the child? She wanted to ask him, but she didn’t know him well enough to pry. The potential answers to her many questions left a sour taste in her mouth. Her natural skepticism was always right below the surface, but so far Seth had shown no signs of bolting. She’d wait and see how things developed.
They stopped at the mall and started their quest at one of the big anchor stores, where Seth purchased for Jack enough outfits for a month, along with expensive new shoes, and treated him to a few new toys. They even managed to get him a haircut. Carrie couldn’t help but marvel at the adorable transformation in the boy. Instead of the bedraggled child on her porch, he looked like a beloved and pampered little prince.
Shopping had given them all an appetite, so they’d settled into the food court, where Jack was munching on chicken nuggets with vigor. She looked at Seth and saw him glance over his shoulder. Her curiosity grew. He’d done that multiple times, looking around, scanning the shoppers as if watching for someone he knew or perhaps wanted to avoid? She felt certain it was because Jack was with them. Was he ashamed? Or simply not ready to accept the truth? That notion didn’t mesh with the way he’d enjoyed buying things for Jack.
Maybe he was worried about seeing someone he knew. It would prove awkward when he had to explain Jack. After all, Seth had been blindsided by the news he was a father. She shouldn’t expect him to suddenly shout to the world he had a five-year-old child. But that’s what she wanted him to do.
When they started the drive back to Dover, Carrie took a moment to assess her companion. Jack had fallen asleep the moment he was buckled into his car seat. She needed to understand for her own peace of mind. After all, Seth had told her she had a stake in Jack’s well-being.
“Is something bothering you? Is it Jack?”
He glanced out the window before responding.
“Not exactly.” He shook his head. “I’m not proud of that time in my life. I went to Las Vegas to experience all the things I’d been told were bad for me. I felt like I’d been set free to finally live my life the way I wanted. I found out the hard way that kind of life isn’t living at all. When I came to my senses, I crawled back home and went to work for the family business. The thing is, my mom never knew anything about that year. Dad told her I was out West working on a job. She’d be so disappointed in me. And now I not only have to tell her about my past, but that she might have another grandchild.”
“Are you afraid she’ll reject him?”
“No, not at all. I just don’t want to break her heart. She’s been through a lot since my dad died. Mostly I don’t want her embarrassed by my behavior. I’ve worked hard to clean up my reputation, but this could tarnish everything. Her life, mine and Jack’s. I never realized how our thoughtless actions can come back to bite you. I thought I’d buried that whole episode.”
Carrie knew only too well how the actions of the past lurked in the back of your mind like a ticking time bomb waiting for the right trigger to explode. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t defuse it. “What are you going to do?”
“First, I have to face my mom. I’m going to see her later today. After that, I’ll try to track down Tiff and get some answers and some proof. If necessary, I’ll hire a private investigator, but I’ve got a lot of resources at my disposal I can tap into first.”
“Like what?”
He grinned. “The entire law-enforcement database of the Dover Police Department. I’ll be officially on duty Monday, so I’ll have access to a dozen ways to track down people and information.”
All the blood rushed from her head. Her stomach clenched. “You’re a cop?”
“You’re looking at Dover’s newest police officer. I have a shiny new badge to prove it. I thought you knew.”
She shook her head, unable to find her voice.
“That’s where I’ve been the last year. After dad died, I realized it was time I followed my own dream and not his. I attended the Houston Police Academy, but it didn’t take long to realize I wasn’t cut out to be a big-city cop, so I came home and took a job with the Dover PD.”
A cop. How had she not known? She’d only seen him from a distance a few times. Never in uniform. They both worked days, and she usually got home late and huddled inside her house until morning. They had only spoken that one time when he’d changed her tire, and their professions had never entered the conversation.
Old memories sent a shiver along her spine. Cops weren’t to be trusted. Cops took away the people you cared about. Cops were incapable of compassion. Logically she knew that wasn’t true, but emotionally she couldn’t shake the past. Making friends with a cop was dangerous. Her greatest fear was for the truth to come out and ruin the life she’d worked so hard to create. Her past was locked away in a courthouse file, protected from everyone. The only people who could uncover her shame were a judge and the police. A police officer like Seth.
“I don’t suppose you’d consider coming with me when I talk to my mom? Just to watch Jack while I break the news. I could use the moral support.”
The tension inside her chest cut off her air. “No. I don’t think so. Please take me home.” He jerked his head in her direction, but she kept her face angled toward the window.
“You okay?” he asked.
The tender tone of his voice scraped across her raw nerves. “Fine.” She leaned against the door the rest of the way home, keenly aware of the concerned glances Seth sent her way. She had to hold it together until she got home. The moment the truck stopped in front of her house, she opened the door to bolt.
“Carrie, wait! What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Tell Jack goodbye.” She jogged into her house, locking the door behind her. Scraping her fingers across her scalp, she tried to make sense of what had just happened.
There was only one way to proceed. Stay clear of Seth and put an end to her involvement with Jack. She had too much at stake to risk her past being revealed now. Becoming involved in the life of a police officer was playing with fire.
She covered her face with her hands as tears formed. Would she ever be able to break free from her past?
* * *
Seth’s pulse raced as he brought the truck to a stop in front of the small cottage a short distance from the large mansion that had been his family’s home for three generations. His older brother and his wife and family occupied the main house now. Mom had chosen to move into the small cottage nearby.
Today he’d have to face his rebellious youth and cause his mother pain that she didn’t deserve. He glanced in the rearview mirror, relieved to see Jack looking back at him, his big eyes full of curiosity.
“Where’s Carrie?”
“I took her home while you were asleep. She said to tell you goodbye.” Seth got out of the truck and went around to unfasten Jack from the carseat. “We’re going to meet my mom. You’re going to like her.”
He lifted the boy from the seat, holding him snug against his chest as he walked toward the cottage. His muscles tensed as he made his way up onto the porch and tapped on the front door before entering. His mom came toward him from the kitchen, her eyes filled with concern and worry that pulled his chest even tighter. Her expression grew curious as she looked at Jack.
“Seth, honey, are you all right? You sounded so serious on the phone.”
He set Jack down, keeping hold of his little hand, feeling like he was twelve again and having to explain why he’d used her Waterford crystal bowl to hold his red wiggler worms so he could go fishing. “I’m fine. I just need to talk to you and introduce you to Jack.” He took a deep breath. “I think he’s my son. I wanted you to know as soon as possible. I didn’t want a bunch of rumors and half-truths flying around town.”
His heart pounded fiercely in his chest as he watched the surprise and puzzlement move his mother’s gentle features. His mom blinked, then her features softened as she looked at Jack.
“Hello, Jack.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad to meet you. Do you like cupcakes?”
Jack nodded happily.
“I thought so. I just happen to have a newly iced batch in my kitchen. Why don’t you show me which one you’d like to eat.” She held out her hand and Jack took it without hesitation.
Some of Seth’s anxiety eased. His mom had taken the news with her usual calm manner and managed to win Jack over, too. But the hard part was still to come. The explanation.
In the kitchen, his mom settled Jack at the table with two colorful, sprinkle-covered cupcakes and a glass of milk, then took a seat beside him at the counter waiting for him to begin.
“Mom, something happened last night that I need to tell you about before you hear it someplace else.” Quickly he explained about Jack being left on Carrie’s porch and the note naming him as Jack’s father. He could read the disappointment in her blue eyes and knew what she was assuming. “It’s not what you think.”
He searched for the right words, unable to find them. He stood and paced off a few steps. “Do you remember that year after college when Dad and I fought all the time?”
“Yes, and you went to work out in Vegas for a while. Only you were really out there sowing some wild oats.”
Seth stared in surprise. “You knew about that? Dad said he didn’t want you to know.”
“I knew. I spent a whole year praying for you to come to your senses and return home unharmed.”
Seth sank back onto the stool. There was still more to confess. “What you don’t know is that I got married.”
“Only briefly.”
“You knew about that, too?”
“Do you think the boy is yours?”
“Maybe. Probably, but I need to know for sure.”
“I agree. You should get in touch with our attorney, Blake Prescott, and find out what steps you need to take.”
“I can do better than that. I’ll be officially on duty Monday, which means I can use the police databases to track his mom down.”
His mother looked at Jack, happily munching on his cupcake, his little face bearing the evidence of his enjoyment. “He looks exactly like you at that age. He has your eyes and your smile.”
“I know.” He nodded, not sure if her assessment made him feel better or worse. The circumstantial evidence was mounting, but he needed facts. “What if it turns out he’s not mine? I’m already feeling attached. I don’t know if I could let him go.”
His mother squeezed his hand. “For now let’s assume he is. You do whatever you must to get to the truth. We’ll place this in the Lord’s hands and see how it works out. What are your plans for him while you’re at work?”
“I don’t know yet.” He raised his hand to forestall her next statement. “No. You’re not going to babysit. You already have your hands full with Linc’s new baby and filling in for the other grandkids. I’ll work something out. This is my problem.”
He thought he saw a flicker of pride lighten her eyes. “Well, you could enroll him in the church preschool. They also provide after-school care. I’m sure Kathy could make room for one more little fellow.”
“I’ll look into it.”
“What do you plan on telling people? You can’t show up with a child without some kind of explanation.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead. I don’t even know how I’ll tell the rest of the family.”
She placed her hand on his cheek and smiled. “You bring Jack for Sunday dinner tomorrow. We’ll tell them then and decide as a family how to proceed.”
“Is it okay if I bring Carrie? She might have some insight into how to handle things.”
“Carrie? The neighbor who found Jack?”
“Carrie Fletcher. She’s been a trouper. I wouldn’t have known what to do if it hadn’t been for her. She has a real passion for kids like Jack.”
“I know her. She’s the new head of special events at the church. From everything I’ve heard, she’s doing a wonderful job.”
“I think she said something about working at Peace Community. We’ve mainly talked about Jack.” He wiped a hand across his mouth. “I doubt she’ll come.”
“What happened?”
“She found out I was a cop and her reaction was puzzling. She shut down and hardly said a word the rest of the way home. When I stopped at her house, she ran inside like the bogeyman was after her.”
“Maybe she’s wary because of the danger involved in your line of work. That’s the main reason your father was always against you going into law enforcement.”
“I know.” He knew how the danger associated with the job could tear apart a policeman’s family life. His uncle had been a cop killed in the line of duty.
Seth wanted to believe his mother was right, but something about Carrie’s reaction ate at him. He usually received two responses when people learned he was a cop. They were either curious about the job or puzzled at why he’d chosen a dangerous profession. Carrie’s reaction had been more like... Seth swallowed around the lump in his throat. Like someone who was trying to hide something. He’d seen that look on the faces of people he’d arrested. That look of being cornered with no way out.
That didn’t make sense. What would Carrie have to hide? Perhaps it had something to do with her childhood. Her comments and her attitude suggested she might have more in common with Jack than he realized.
He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around him. On the contrary, he wanted to get to know her better. And Jack was the link. At the very least he wanted to reassure her she had nothing to fear from him. He’d give her some time to adjust to the idea of his job. He felt sure he could ease her concerns. After all, being a cop in Dover wasn’t anything like being a cop in Houston. Here, he could focus on serving and protecting the people in his community and not the endless stream of senseless violence that had dragged him down.
* * *
Monday morning dawned bright and sunny with temperatures promised in the midseventies. Carrie dressed in a new pair of linen pants and a long peach top, plus some dangling silver earrings. The outfit lifted her spirits, and she arrived at the church eager to tackle her hectic work schedule. It was exactly what she needed to put the weekend behind her. Learning that Seth was a police officer had left her battling old fears and memories.
She had called her friend and mentor, Mavis Tanner, for some advice. Mavis had been her first and biggest blessing from the Lord. She’d taken Carrie under her wing, introduced her to the Lord, and helped her get her GED and enroll in community college. Without Mavis, Carrie would be living a very different life.
Her friend had gently reminded her that her concerns about Seth were nothing more than her old insecurities bubbling to the surface. Then she pointed out that the Lord had forgiven her and the past couldn’t hurt her unless she allowed it. She’d felt better after their talk, but she hadn’t told Mavis about her attraction to Seth. She had to sort that out on her own.
She wondered what Seth had done with Jack today. It was his first official day on the job. He’d called her a couple times, but she’d ignored him. She needed more time to absorb the fact that he was a police officer. Her mind and her heart had battled all night. But now she needed to concentrate on her work. There was a mountain of arrangements to make for the upcoming picnic celebration. She had no time to waste on her neighbor.
Thankfully, the day passed quickly. The only thing left on her schedule was the meeting this evening with the committee heads for the anniversary picnic. She had one volunteer spot to fill and several adjustments to the activities to discuss, but nothing major. The plans were all coming together nicely.
After a quick bite to eat in her office, she made her way to the meeting room. Kathy met her coming from the opposite direction. “You look frazzled. Everything okay? I didn’t have a chance to talk to you at church yesterday.”
“I spent the time between services fielding questions about the picnic. I have to admit it’ll be a relief when it’s all over.”
“I keep telling you that you need an assistant.”
Carrie arched her eyebrows. “Like Ralph?”
