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She was at the door within moments, and clearly unhappy to be there. She’d changed from the simple skirt and top she’d worn earlier to dark sweatpants and a T-shirt with a faded logo on the front. She looked younger, more approachable. Jack ran and hugged her, a big smile lighting his face. Seth’s concern eased a bit. Carrie would know what to do. “Any suggestions?”
“You’ll have to go shopping.”
“Now? Where? It’s Friday night in Dover. Every place is closed.”
“Not all. The Dollar General is open. They’ll have everything you need. I’ll stay here and give Jack his bath.”
Seth ran a hand down the back of his neck. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but shopping hadn’t entered the picture. “I don’t know anything about what a kid needs.”
“He needs the same things you do, only in smaller sizes. For now we’ll guess at those. Probably size 4.” Carrie scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “He’ll need pj’s, jeans, T-shirts, shoes and socks, underwear and a jacket.”
“All that to go to bed?”
“He can’t wear pajamas all the time.”
She looked at him as if he was the dumbest man on the planet. And he was when it came to kids. “Right.” He scanned the list. It seemed simple enough, but he’d rather stay and give Jack his bath and let her go to the store. But he didn’t know anything about that, either.
“Okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He grabbed his jacket and started for the door.
“Seth, add a toothbrush to your list. And maybe a stuffed animal.”
He wasn’t sure why the toy had been added, but he nodded and opened the door. He stopped, glancing over his shoulder. “Thanks, Carrie. I really appreciate your help.”
“I’m doing this for Jack.”
Her tone clearly showed her displeasure with him. Did she still have him pegged as a deadbeat dad? He didn’t like being seen that way. He’d have to change her mind and show her that he wasn’t that kind of man, though why her opinion should matter left him puzzled. She wasn’t even his type. He’d always been drawn to the tall, dark, sultry types, with long hair and even longer legs. Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he should be looking for someone real, with a gentle spirit and fierce love for kids.
Except he wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship. Not in the near future.
* * *
Carrie ran her fingers over Jack’s soft, freshly washed hair. After his bath she’d wrapped him in a towel, and together they’d snuggled on the sofa to wait for Seth. The child was tired and the warm bath had lulled him close to sleep, but for some reason he was fighting it. Every few moments he’d glance at the door. She realized he was waiting for Seth to return and probably wouldn’t sleep until he was home.
He’d already called four times with questions. What’s the difference between a size 4 and a 4T? Did little boys like red or blue pj’s? How did he buy shoes when he didn’t know the size? And would a dog or a bear be a better stuffed toy?
She had to give him credit. He was trying. He could have easily grabbed the first thing he’d seen and dashed home.
Pulling a magazine from the small stack on the end table, she flipped to a page and began to read softly, “‘When working with a lathe, it’s important to keep a steady pressure on the gouge to ensure the proper depth and angle of the design. This master kit of gouge tools includes everything you’ll need to create the perfect spindles, bowls and other—’”
“I never realized a woodworking catalog had bedtime-story appeal.”
Carrie started when she heard Seth’s voice behind her. She hadn’t heard him come in, so content was she with Jack cuddled in her arms. He was a sweet little boy, starved for affection, and her heart had already lost its battle to keep her emotional distance. She wanted to keep him close and make sure he never felt abandoned again.
“It’s not the words that lull them to sleep—it’s being close and hearing your voice that comforts children.”
“I’ll try to remember that.” He took a seat on the coffee table and began unloading his bounty.
Jack stirred and grinned at Seth. “Hi, Pop.”
“Hi, Jack.” Seth ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately. “I got you some new pajamas. Let’s get them on so you can go to bed.”
“Pop?” Carrie shot a glance at Seth as he handed her the package of superhero briefs.
“It’s what we used to call my dad. It’s too soon for anything else.”
Carrie pulled labels off the blue pajamas, slipping the shirt over Jack’s head. Too soon? Did that mean Seth was starting to believe Jack was his?
Dressed in his new pajamas and smelling like soap, Jack looked like a very different child. There was a warmth in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. She thanked the Lord for that and prayed Jack would always feel safe and loved.
“Seth, I’m going to help Jack brush his teeth. Why don’t you get the bed ready?”
“Right.” He disappeared down the hall.
A few moments later Carrie took Jack’s hand and walked him toward the master bedroom. Seth was seated on the edge of the bed, covers folded back and a smile on his face. A brown-and-white stuffed dog waited on the pillow. Jack let go of Carrie’s hand and hurried forward.
“Leo.” He took the stuffed toy and held it to his chest.
Seth frowned. Carrie hastened to explain. “It looks like my dog, Leo.”
“You mean that little fuzzy rodent I see in your yard?”
Carrie sent him a disapproving glare. “What are you going to name your dog, Jack?”
The child thought for a moment. “Barky.”
Seth nodded in approval as he tucked the covers around the small body and ran a gentle hand over the little head. “That’s a super name. Ready to say your prayers?” Jack shrugged his shoulders. “We’ll make this first one short.” He folded the boy’s hands together and a said a quick blessing.
The gesture caught Carrie off guard. She hadn’t expected Seth to be a man of faith. Something inside her shifted, leaving an odd, uncomfortable tightening in her chest.
“Amen. See you in the morning, Jack.”
“Pop? You won’t go away?”
Carrie’s throat constricted and she could see the tendons in Seth’s neck flex with emotion. “No, Jack. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Promise.”
Reassured, Jack was asleep before they stepped out of the room.
As if having the same thought, they turned at the door to watch the small boy in the big bed as he slept.
Seth rested a hand against the door frame. “He looks so small.”
“You should have seen him in the tub.” She wrapped her arms around her waist in a vain attempt to quell the sadness inside. “Without his clothes, he’s just skin and bones. It broke my heart.”
“I know. I can’t believe someone just dumped him on your porch and walked away.”
“It happens all too often.”
“You sound like you have experience in these matters.”
Carrie glanced at Seth and saw the curiosity in his eyes, along with a hint of concern that warmed her. “I’m studying toward my degree in social work. There are too many children who get lost in the system. They need an advocate.”
One corner of his mouth lifted, revealing a charming crease in his cheek. “Well, from what I’ve seen tonight, you’ll make an excellent one.”
His compliment brought a rush of heat to her face. She never knew how to respond when people said nice things to her, but the smile he’d given her had kicked her pulse rate up a few notches. One of the first things she’d noticed about him was his knock-you-to-your-knees smile. He had two deep creases, like elongated dimples, on either side of his mouth, and they flashed whenever he spoke. It was a fascinating face, one she could watch for hours.
She stopped her wayward thoughts and glanced back at the sleeping boy to collect herself. Seth shifted beside her, sending a whiff of tangy aftershave in her direction.
“Contrary to what you might think, I would never abandon a child of mine. If I’d known about Jack, I would have fought to be part of his life.”
She wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that her first impression of him was the correct one. That he was a nice guy, a man of character. But how did she know for certain? Those kind of men had been absent in her life. It was easier and safer to lump them all into one negative category.
Seth must have read the doubt and confusion in her eyes. He touched her arm lightly, and the contact sent a rush of warmth along her skin, awakening another layer of awareness of the man beside her. At five feet five inches, she wasn’t short, but Seth’s six-foot height and solid build made her feel petite. The kindness in his eyes wrapped around her like a gentle hug.
“I’ll take good care of Jack. You don’t need to worry. We both care about the little guy and want what’s best for him. But it’s going to take some time to sort this out.”
His words eased some of her concern. “I know. I just don’t want him to feel alone.”
“He won’t. I’ll be with him until we get to the bottom of this. And he has you and Leo right next door.”
She wasn’t sure that was a good thing. In a few short hours she’d become entangled with the little boy and drawn into Seth’s life. She turned her attention back to the bed. They stood at the bedroom door watching Jack sleep, both reluctant to leave him alone. Carrie knew she should not get involved in this situation, but that resolve had already started to crumble.
“What if you can’t find her?” She hated to think of what kind of future the child might face if that happened.
Seth sighed. “Let’s not borrow trouble. For now let’s make our little guy happy while we look for answers.”
Our little guy. Their mutual affection for Jack and their desire to help him had bonded them whether she liked it or not. For the immediate future, they were his advocates. She looked into Seth’s eyes and thought she read the same strength and determination there that was inside her. It would be nice to have a partner, someone equally dedicated to the cause.
A small chamber of her heart clicked open, as if suddenly unlocked after years of neglect. She fought back the swell of attraction and the need for connection swirling inside. She couldn’t afford to depend on anyone, not even a man as handsome and kind as Seth. There was too much at stake in her life right now. The pressure in her chest increased, forcing her to take quick breaths. She had to get out of there. Away from Seth. She needed space and time to think.
“I’d better go.” She hurried to the living room, but stopped at the front door when Seth called her name.
“You want me to check with you in the morning and let you know how Jack slept?”
No. She wanted out of this situation. A memory of Jack scared and abandoned on her porch tapped into her deep need to help. How could she refuse now that she’d become attached to the little guy? “Yes. That would be nice.” With one last look at Seth, she forced herself to walk away, hurrying across the yard and not stopping until she was safely inside her home.
Curled up on her bed, she took a few deep breaths to calm her anxious mind. Leo hopped up and settled into her lap, and she buried her fingers in the soft, thick fur. Petting Leo always calmed her down. Too bad he couldn’t teach her to be stronger in her convictions.
When would she learn to listen to that warning voice inside when it spoke? She’d told herself not to get involved with Jack’s situation. She’d heard the warning bells before she’d stepped inside Seth’s home and again when he’d called and asked for her help. But she couldn’t turn away from the little boy’s needs.
Dealing with Seth was another matter. Her unexpected attraction to Seth was disturbing. She had closed the door on relationships long ago. She’d seen firsthand how letting your heart rule your head always led to disaster. Especially when you had a past that needed to stay buried.
The memory of Jack snuggled in her arms, his head tucked under her chin as she read the magazine, tapped into a longing she didn’t allow herself to contemplate. A child of her own, a home, a husband. A life she wasn’t entitled to. But, for one second, as they’d stood watching Jack sleep, both of them so full of affection for the boy, it had been as if they were Mom and Dad tucking their child into bed.
That was a life she’d never have. The legacy of her childhood wasn’t something she would inflict on anyone. Not a husband and certainly not a child. No one would understand her childhood or the things she’d done to survive. But that was long ago. She was a different person now. A woman with a renewed mind and heart. She’d accepted the fact that spending her life alone was the price for that transformation, and she didn’t regret it. She had more blessings than she could count, and she would thank the Lord every day of her life.
God had given her a mission to devote herself to helping children trapped in bad situations. She would be their champion the way Mavis Tanner had been hers. Another year of classes and she’d have her degree. All she had to do was stay focused.
She scooted under the covers, tugging them up to her chin and holding Leo tight in her arms. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by a lovable little boy and a man with eyes filled with warmth and tenderness.
* * *
Carrie took another bite of her cereal, the hungry birds gathered around the feeder outside her breakfast-room window providing her morning entertainment. She’d slept late because she’d spent most of the night replaying last night’s events over in her mind.
She’d finally fallen asleep, but even her dreams had been filled with images of being alone, lost in the dark and being chased down shadowed rain-slicked streets. All old subconscious fears born of her own troubled past.
Still, she couldn’t help wondering how Jack had fared after they’d settled him in bed last night. Glancing out the window again, she saw Seth and Jack walking toward the truck. The group of cottages where she lived was known as Collinstown, built by a former logging company in the 1920s to house their employees. The driveways were positioned off an alleyway in the back, leaving the front yards facing the tree-lined streets and the park in the center of the little neighborhood.
Her insides warmed as she watched the man and child. Jack was still holding his metal truck tightly in his hand, but Seth held the other. She wondered where they were going this morning.
A jolt of realization seized her chest. She darted through the door and jogged across the lawn. “Seth. What are you doing?” Breathless, she stopped at the fence. Jack, already in the backseat of the cab, waved at her from the window.
Seth’s dark brows arched when he looked at her. “We’re going to pick up a few things.”
“But he needs a car seat.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed, then his mouth lifted at one corner. “Well, I checked the cupboard and I was fresh out of kids’ car seats. Unless you have one I could borrow?”
“Of course not. I don’t have kids.”
He leaned toward her, a sardonic grin on his face. “Neither did I. Until last night.”
Jack waved at her from the window of the truck and pointed downward. Leo had come outside to join them. “But you have to keep him safe.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he nodded thoughtfully. “I considered letting him ride in the truck bed, but it’s too cold for that.”
“You can’t be serious...” The smirk on his face stopped her protest.
He grinned and took a step closer. “Stop worrying. I’m going to strap him nice and tight in the backseat, drive very carefully to the store and get him a car seat. Is that the right answer?”
Her cheeks warmed and she took a step back. “Sorry. I just don’t want anything to happen to Jack. He’s been through enough.”
“I know.” Seth’s tender gaze caused a skip in her pulse.
“And after that?”
“We’re going shopping for clothes that fit. And a bed.”
“You’re going to keep him?”
Seth’s expression grew serious and he nodded, rubbing his chin. “Just until I can get him to a little-boy shelter where he can find a good home.”
Hot emotion burst through her system. “What kind of heartless man are you?”
Seth raised his palms. “Easy. I’m just kidding. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would upset you so much. You take things too seriously. Of course I’m keeping him. At least until I know exactly what’s going on. I told you that last night.”
Carrie tugged at the strand of hair near her ear. “I know, but things can change.”
“I don’t go back on my word, Carrie. Jack’s not going anywhere until we sort this all out. Trust me on that.”
