The Letters of the Duke of Wellington to Miss J., 1834-1851

Your sincere Christian friend,A. J.

P.S. Since writing the above, my antipathy to the omission of either your name or seal is so increased that I beg to decline receiving any letter which does not bring with it these marks of due respect.

Not satisfied with sending off this letter, Miss J. followed it with another no less severe. In her Diary she describes the feelings that swayed her while she awaited a reply to her missives:

"September 16th—Morning. I have risen this morning (my first in this place—Hampstead—) strong in The Lord and in the power of His might. I am prepared to meet whatever HE may see fit, casting my burthen wholly on him and desirous of nothing in comparison with His honor and glory. O may He be magnified powerfully both in my life and death, and may every period of my remaining days be dedicated more devotedly unto Him than any hitherto spent; 'growing up in Him as a tree planted by the waterside' bringing forth fruit plentifully, knowing that 'it is written' 'He that abideth in ME and I in him the same bringeth forth much fruit,'—Be with me graciously and mightily when I hear from the Duke today—if I do—and especially tomorrow when the reply comes to that sent off yesterday, strengthening me 'in the inner man' to treat it as Thou wouldst have me do in every respect, having no will of my own and loving Thine above all things. Thou knowest, O Gracious God, what is in the Duke's heart, and why he has recourse to the ways which have occasioned my displeasure. Therefore I give him up into Thy Hands to deal with accordingly, beseeching Thee to have mercy on his precious Soul, bringing it from darkness to light and from the power of Satan unto Thyself for Christ's sake!

"September 16th 1835.—Evening. The whole of this day has been marked with such divine strength from Him Who causes me to feel the force of this passage of Holy Writ 'When I am weak then am I strong,' that it is impossible to be sufficiently thankful. No letter has arrived from the Duke. However I suppose tomorrow will bring with it the anticipated answer. O may I be strengthened additionally to bear it if unkind! and prove myself ready to pluck out a right eye or cut off a right arm for Christ's sake! which we may be understood to do when we resign those dearest upon earth at His command.

"Friday September 18th 1835. It is now between 11 and 12 o'clock and I am sitting at my pretty window with it open, waiting to know whether the Lord sees fit to allow me to receive a letter today from the Duke in reply to my two last which have received no answers yet. O may I be strengthened 'in the inner man' to receive whatever is agreeable to the will of God, as His Child, dependent on Him for all things!

"The paragraph noticed in the paper of yesterday was marked with that presumption which is ever more or less perceivable in 'the natural man,' who seems to act without any reference to the will of God whatever, declaring 'I will do this and that,' instead of remembering that their lives are in His Hands and that He can snatch them away at any moment. To see the Duke thus presumptuously reckoning on several weeks to come proves how little what I have written on that subject is alluded to, showing me still further the inefficacy of all man's endeavors until accompanied with the mighty power of God to the soul. The time I trust is at hand for this rebellious one when he will doubtlessly exclaim 'Thy mercies are infinite and Thy ways past finding out,' also 'Lord, what is man that Thou art mindful of him? or the son of man that Thou visitest him?'"

The Duke's replies to both Miss J.'s effusions followed one another in rapid succession:—

Strathfieldsaye, Sept. 17, 1835.

My dear Miss J.,—I always understood that the important parts of a Letter were its Contents. I never much considered the Signature; provided I knew the handwriting; or the Seal provided it effectually closed the Letter.

When I write to a Person with whom I am intimate, who knows my handwriting I generally sign my Initials. I don't always seal my own Letters; they are sometimes sealed by a Secretary, oftener by myself.

In any Case as there are generally very many to be sealed; and the Seal frequently becomes heated, it is necessary to change it; and by accident I may have sealed a Letter to you with a blank Seal. But it is very extraordinary if it is so, as I don't believe I have such a thing! You will find this Letter however signed and sealed in what you deem the most respectful manner. And if I should write to you any more; I will take care that they shall be properly signed and sealed to your Satisfaction.

I am very glad to learn that you intend to send back all the letters I ever wrote to you. I told you heretofore that I thought you had better burn them all. But if you think proper to send them in a parcel to my House; I will save you the trouble of committing them to the Flames.

Believe me Ever Yours most sincerelyWellington.

I believe that the letter with the blank seal and signed with my Initials was sent off last Sunday night from Hartford Bridge and was franked by me; I hope that this was not deemed disrespectful.

Strathfieldsaye, Sept. 18, 1835.

The Duke of Wellington presents his Compliments to Miss J. The Duke wrote an answer to Miss J. as soon as he received her Letter complaining of Disrespect in His having been in the habit of signing the Initials of His Name to the Letters which he had written to her; and in having sealed a letter addressed to her and franked by the Duke, with a plain seal.

If Miss J. had waited till she would receive the answer to a letter which she wrote on Tuesday she might have been satisfied with the reasons of the Duke for the Marks of Disrespect of which Miss J. complained.

The Duke has to add that since his return here, he has found upon His Table, a plain seal which it is probable was used by accident. He apologizes for having used it. At the same time he assures Miss J. that he could not have intended to be disrespectful.

The Duke requests that Miss J. will be so kind as to have a parcel made of the Letters from the Duke; that she will direct it to Him in Piccadilly; and have it booked at Hampstead and sent by any Coach to London.

Miss J. resolved to lose no time in returning the Duke's letters, and went so far as to put them up in a parcel preparatory to sending them off by coach. She thus comments:—

"In returning the parcel I send away 60 letters, received in less than 12 months.

"Saturday, Sept. 19, 1835. I have been to the Post Office with my last letter to the Duke and leave the result thereof with the Lord, 'Whose ways are in the deep waters and whose footsteps are unknown'. I have acknowledged myself thankful for the strength still imparted—thus fulfilling that gracious promise made to me when on my knees before I came to this place 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.' I have just risen from my knees, after spreading the Duke's letters before the Lord, beseeching Him to do under present circumstances whatever seemeth good in His sight for Christ's sake. And I feel, as a prayer-hearing God He will—causing even this unkindness to work together for good, since 'His ways are not our ways' but as high above such as the heavens are above the earth—That He moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform, who can doubt that watches His divine finger in this great work? And since His purposes must stand, all I have to say is, Let them be whatever they may, I desire His Holy Will alone to be done!

"My feelings will not allow me to copy this letter of the Duke's; it is so unkind; but as those words were powerfully applied at the commencement of my correspondence, 'The haughtiness of man shall be brought low etc. and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.'"

Apparently it was not the will of "The Lord" that the letters should be returned, for Providence interposed in the shape of Miss J.'s friend, Mrs. L. Miss J. writes:—

"Saturday Night. Just as my day had been filled with all the duties my God had graciously permitted and I was about to take a walk, dear Mrs. L. arrived, and on my telling her all strongly advised my not returning the Duke his letters—which struck me forcibly, as I had asked the Lord to put it into her heart to advise me agreeably to His will.

"On my return home I found a note from the Duke addressed to me in the third person, like the last, but thanking me for the trouble I had taken respecting his Men's Book Bill. Thank God my feelings are so subdued as to be resigned to His divine Will concerning seeing or hearing from him, and I heartily pray to be directed in every single particular, knowing if left to myself I cannot stand a moment in safety.

"The Duke seems more indifferent respecting the return of his letters—consequently as dearest Mrs. L. so strongly advised my retaining them I mean to do so without noticing that formal note received to night, leaving everything as it stands in the Lord's Hands. Having cast my burthen upon the Lord all I now have to do is to dedicate my time more exclusively to my usual daily duties as before intended, endeavoring to recall perfectly to memory all my hymns—360—and the Gospels of St. Matthew and John, with my beautiful Psalms—which latter have been neglected more than either of the former, although none have been allowed so much time as if I had not been so occupied with the Duke.

"Sept. 22nd. My disinclination to write to the Duke continues. O may the Lord bless him by quickening his dead soul and call him forth to glorify Him mightily for Christ's sake!

"Oct. 1st, 1835. How wonderful are the dealings of God. Last night I came home fully determined to write and send off a letter to the Duke and this morning, although it is ready for the Post Office, I am restrained from forwarding it. Therefore I keep it until I see why my mind is acted upon thus, feeling 'it is the Lord.' I knelt upon the bed in the night and implored Him to let His honor and glory alone be considered, and before I rose this morning, on again calling upon Him to direct me these words seemed to follow—'Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted in the heavens, I will be exalted in the earth.' So, as this is the case, it is my duty quietly and patiently to submit to the way He may condescendingly choose for that glorious purpose. In the mean time, in order to satisfy my feelings towards the poor dear Duke I can indulge in writing them at all events and thereby proving it is no want of feeling or friendship for him that keeps me silent, but the consideration due to ONE as far above Himself not only in reality but I trust through the Grace of God in my estimation also as the heavens are above the earth. Nor would I resign one of His gracious glorious smiles to become the Empress of a million worlds, even were my loved precious Duke the chosen individual to participate in such honors.

"Perhaps the Duke's conversion is at hand! Lord, if this be the case permit me through Thy Power and Grace to become the source of deep spiritual consolation to his precious soul, by being unto me a mouth and wisdom which all my adversaries shall not be able to gainsay or resist 'for without Thee I can do nothing!'"

My Lord Duke,—Judging from your silence to my last that all communication between us is about to cease, having written the accompanying Hymn for your acceptance, I take this opportunity of bidding you Farewell! being enabled through God's Grace which is all sufficient! to exclaim in Scripture language, "The Lord GAVE and The Lord hath taken away and blessed be the name of The Lord!" That HE brought you to me in the first place I feel convinced and heartily hope that I have omitted no faithful Christian duty towards you consistent with my "high calling in Christ Jesus," consequently shall not have cause to reproach myself of neglect when that AWFUL period arrives which MUST bring us once more together, however separated on earth by His all wise decrees, "Whose paths are in the deep waters and Whose footsteps are not known,"—and Who knoweth FAR better what is GOOD for us than we do for ourselves. Consequently it is our duty, and doubtless for our future and eventual happiness under any and all circumstances, however trying and painful such may be, to say THY will, O GOD, not mine be done! Trusting that you will not suppose any unkind feelings are experienced towards you by such DUE resignation to the Divine will or conclude that my future silence renders me forgetful of you when kneeling before Him "Whose eyes are in EVERY place beholding the evil and the good," with Whom the darkness is no darkness at all but the night is as clear as the day, I subscribe myself with much serenity as in His sight Ever My Lord Duke.

Your faithful Christian Friend,A. J.

The hymn enclosed is entitled—

THE SHORTNESS OF TIME AND FRAILTY OF MANAlmighty Maker of my frame!TEACH ME the number of my days!TEACH ME to know how frail I amAnd spend the remnant to Thy praise.My days are shorter than a span,A little point my life appears;How frail at best is dying man;HOW VAIN are ALL his hopes and fears!VAIN his AMBITION, NOISE and SHOW!VAIN are the cares Which rack his mind!He heaps up treasures MIXED WITH WOEAnd dies, and leaves them all behind!Oh be a NOBLER portion MINE!MY GOD I bow before Thy Throne;Earth's fleeting treasures I resignAnd fix my hopes on Thee ALONE!

"I have underlined all just as forwarded to the Duke."

The next letter from the Duke that has been preserved is dated October 5, and contains a reference to a later note from Miss J.:—

Walmer Castle, October 5, 1835.

The Duke of Wellington presents his Compts to Miss J. He has only this morning received her letter without date; in which Miss J. apprizes the Duke that she is about to quit Hampstead; but she does not state where she is about to reside.

In respect to Miss J.'s wish that the Duke should write to Her, the Duke assures her that he will receive Her Letters with pleasure; and that he will answer them regularly. But that he must be permitted to do so, in a form, which shall not expose him to the accusation of treating a Lady with disrespect.

From the perusal of Miss J.'s Letter the Duke does not exactly understand whether Miss J. did or did not send back the Paquet containing the Duke's Letters to her. As the Duke stated upon a former occasion, it is a matter of Indifference whether Miss J. has burnt the Letters; or kept them; or sent them back.

The Duke begs leave to inform her however that if she sent them back he has not yet received them. They may however be in His House in London as he has been absent from there since the 19th of last Month.

In Miss J.'s next letter she inquires into the truth of a report of the Duke's indisposition that has appeared in the papers. The reply is decidedly testy.

Walmer Castle, Novr 3, 1835.

The Duke of Wellington presents his Compliments to Miss J.

He received only this morning Miss J.'s Letters of the 28th and 31st October.

The Duke returns his thanks to Miss J. for her kind Enquiries about His Health. The Duke was unwell for one day; of which the Newspapers obtained Intelligence; and as usual misrepresented and exaggerated the facts.

The Duke is much concerned that Miss J. is not satisfied with the formal style of His Notes. She was not satisfied when he wrote to her in a form more consistent with familiarity. Such form was considered disrespectful.

The Duke assures Miss J. that he can reply to any letter which she may think proper to address the Duke as fully in one form as the other.

The poor Duke's life was frequently made a burden to him by the comments expressed by the papers upon his health and his conduct. His letters abound in impatient references to the inaccuracies of the daily journals in all that pertained to himself. These finally irritated him to such an extent that, against the advice of wise friends, he sued the "Morning Journal" for libel, and succeeded in obtaining the punishment of the editor and printer by fines and imprisonment. His course in this matter was deprecated by those who thought that a man of his acknowledged character and position could afford to disregard such attacks.

Apparently after this time matters returned to their former state, in so far as the frequency of the letters was concerned, although the formal mode of address was still retained, greatly to Miss J.'s dissatisfaction. She continues in her Diary the account of the Duke's letters:

"In the Duke's next letter of the 6th of November written in the third person since I wrote to him concerning that plain seal he writes; 'The considerations urged by Miss J. with her usual facility and eloquence are for all times and seasons.'

"Thus graciously did he usually receive my letters on religious subjects, which under circumstances of illness were doubtlessly additionally earnest.

"In the next of November 6th His Grace writes thus; 'The Duke assures her that he feels the deepest interest in everything that Miss J. writes to him.' The next from the Duke is dated November 10th wherein he writes; 'The Duke will have great pleasure in attending Miss J. when he will be in London if she will permit him and will let him know where she resides.'

"In the Duke's next letter of Nov. 11th he writes in allusion to me; 'She is so kind to the Duke; and she writes to him with so much earnestness and feeling that it is impossible that he should not be impressed with a deep sense of His obligation to her for taking so much trouble.'

"In his next of the 12th of November he returns me many thanks for my letters.

"By the next letter I presume some inconvenience attended my receiving the Duke as he writes—'It appears that for some reason with which Miss J. states it to be her intention at some future time to acquaint the Duke—it will not be in Miss J.'s power to receive the Duke.'

"Another letter dated the 16th of November, as was the above, refers to my dating my letters on the outside. He writes 'Franks are dated on the outside because the Law requires the use of that form.'

"What I had written to call it forth I cannot remember but the Duke in his next of the 16th of November says 'he has no pretension to superiority,' reminding me of a circumstance which took place at the commencement of our acquaintance when I told him that his being the Duke of Wellington was nothing to me—leading him to reply 'I know it, I know it and I respect you for it.'

"Judging by the Duke's next letter of the 16th (being the second of that date) I had formed the wish to have a letter of mine returned—which letter I found with all others had been destroyed. The Duke encloses the succeeding one."

My Lord Duke,—I once more take up pen, but in all probability for the last time, if I rightly understand you to mean you are capable of receiving my letters in silence, to which I decline subjecting myself. I consider a reply and a very different one to those lately received due to me in the sight of That God Who created such an interest in your eternal happiness and I am very much mistaken if he does not make you feel the power of this impression by exercising His Almighty power in some unforeseen manner.

The information that you have destroyed my letters is any thing but gratifying; one and all being more or less marked with Divine Truth, calculated if properly and seriously considered, to benefit your immortal Soul. Nor should I imagine myself justified in spending my time in future by penning such to have them committed to the flames. Therefore I shall decline troubling you with a repetition of this kind, until you consider them sufficiently valuable to retain instead of destroy. In the mean time I shall occupy myself with any other work my Heavenly Father may condescendingly point out; it being of very little consequence to me how I am employed so that it is under His direction and in His Service....

I remain, My Lord Duke, so long as God permits.

Your faithful Christian Friend.A. J.

"The Duke's next letter is dated Dec. the third followed by one of the 8th which implies I wrote to the Duke on the death of the Countess of S., as he writes 'It is true that a near relation of the Duke's has died a terrible death.'

"By the Duke's letter of the 11th of December I presume I continued displeased at his having burnt my letters,—a truth elicited through wishing one of them returned, which consequently it was not in his power to do—considering as I told him that it was a sin in the sight of God to destroy Epistles intended for his everlasting good."

The Duke's reply to this is given in full:—

Strathfieldsaye, Decr 15, 1835.

The Duke of Wellington presents his Compts to Miss J. He has only this day received her Letter commenced on Saturday and finished on Monday. He is much concerned to learn that Miss J. has been indisposed; and he hopes that she will have been relieved by attending to the Advice of the Medical Gentleman for whom she had sent.

Nothing will be more satisfactory to the Duke than to put an end to all Dissension upon bygone subjects. He has no feeling upon any of them excepting a desire to avoid to give occasion unknowingly and unwillingly for irritation.

The Duke is much obliged to Miss J. for her Letter. He does not entirely concur in all the opinions contained in that Letter. He assures her however that he has perused it as he Does all those received from her, with attention. He will state his objections at some future time.

It is quite impossible for the Duke to keep Miss J.'s letters. They are in general long; and they succeed each other rapidly. If the Duke was to keep them, they might be seen by others. He therefore destroys them as soon as he has read, and perfectly understands them.

This explanation evidently soothed Miss J.'s ruffled feelings, for she makes no further reference at this time to the "Dissension." The Diary continues:—

"The Duke's next letter expresses concern at my illness, dated Dec. 21, 1835.

"The Duke's next letter of the 24th of Dec. implies my account of my health was not satisfactory—which I suppose must have been justifiable as I was then so seriously ill.

"Another letter dated the 26th of December kindly expresses anxiety concerning my health also one of the 31st of December.

"Letters received from the Duke during the year 1835, Seventy-Eight."

"1836.—The first letter of this year is dated Jan. 2nd wherein the Duke writes 'The Duke is very sensible of the kindness which induces Miss J. to write to him. He would have wished to receive from her some account of Her Health as well as her opinion upon other matters, however important. The Duke will certainly request Miss J.'s permission to pay His Respects to her when he will return to Town.'

"The Duke's next letter is dated Jan. 19th, in which he writes—'On his passage through London he has received her letter of the 11th Inst. He sincerely rejoices at and congratulates Miss J. upon the progress which she has made in the recovery of her health.'

"I see this is a mistake as the Duke's next letter is dated Jan. 7th in which he thanks me for my account of my health and the next is dated Jan 13th wherein he writes thus; 'He will wait upon her after having notified His intention and received her permission when he will be in London. He rejoices at the improved state of Miss J.'s health.'

"'Feb. 3rd he regrets much to learn that she has been again indisposed.'

"In the Duke's letter of Feb. 19th he writes; 'He returns his thanks for her note of the 17th received this morning and the printed Enclosures.' What these printed enclosures were I do not now remember but presume they were a tract and handbills.

"In his next dated the 25th of February he writes; 'He returns his thanks for her letter, and he is very happy to hear that Miss J. is sufficiently recovered to be able to quit her room and go down stairs.'

"In the Duke's next letter dated March 9th 1836, he writes—'The Duke has been out of Town for some time so therefore he did not receive her first note till last night, and this day the second which Miss J. has written to him, enclosing printed tracts; and the latter some Manuscript Lines. The Duke begs leave to return his thanks.'