A Long Walk Home

“Are you tired, or would you like to go somewhere? The mall isn’t far from here, and I have a credit card that’s begging to be used.”

She grunted out an impatient sound that was neither a yes nor a no. I chalked up her behavior to exhaustion—and being worried about her mother. I decided to make the most of our short while together. I’d concentrate on the positive and ignore…everything else.

If Summer were spending more time with me, I’d have loved to do something about her clothing, her hair and her makeup. Was that even makeup? Why would such a pretty child want to cover her face with white goop and outline her eyes and mouth in black?

Ghoulish.

Another pang of remorse struck me.

Summer needed my understanding, not criticism. Yet it was difficult to glance at her for even a few seconds without wanting to help transform her—to change everything from the tip of her head right down to her boot-clad feet.

I needed to accept her the way she was.

But could I?

Determined to do my best, I said, “If you’re hungry, we can stop to get a bite to eat.”

“That’s a fine idea. I wouldn’t mind stopping for a piece of pie. How does a burger and some fries sound to you?” Vi asked my niece in a hopeful tone.

Summer’s downcast eyes never wavered. A moment later she gave a halfhearted shrug and bobbed her head from side to side, which I took to mean she wasn’t hungry—or she might be. Since I didn’t want to press the issue, I decided to offer her a sandwich once we arrived at my house.

I tucked the small box with the charm bracelet into my purse, planning to give it to her at a better time.

Would there be a better time?

Communication between us could only improve.

As we neared my Volvo, I pressed the remote to unlock the doors. I started to reach for Summer’s plastic bag but her fingers tightened their grip.

“Would you like to put your things in the back?”

She shook her head and yanked the bag close to her legs as though afraid of losing her few possessions. I smiled reassuringly, but I doubt she noticed because she was too busy examining the ground by her feet.

Violet extended the gift bag beneath Summer’s downcast eyes. “I bought you a welcome to Maine present.”

Summer glanced warily at the package before grabbing the bag from Violet’s hand, and without even glancing inside, shoved it into her plastic bag.

No “thank you” from this kid.

I admonished myself for having such petty thoughts. Summer’s mother was in the hospital. I shouldn’t be focusing on her appearance and poor manners.

Maybe it was a good thing I’d never been blessed with my own children. A fleeting pang of regret twisted inside.

Violet opened the front door and stepped aside so Summer could enter. “If you’d like, you can sit up front with your aunt. I don’t mind the back seat.”

The child hesitated. I’d expected either no reply or another shrug. Instead, Summer lifted eyes filled with contempt. “Stop trying to pretend you’re both so happy to have me here.” Had her voice not broken I might have missed the fear beneath the tough facade.

For a moment I saw a vulnerable little girl afraid of being hurt again, afraid of being left with strangers, afraid of being abandoned by a mother who’d let her down.

The helpless look vanished when Summer sneered. “I see right through you. Well, I’m not any happier to be stuck here with you two than you are with me. I’ll be out of this frigging hick state as soon as my mother comes for me. So till then, let’s cut the goody-goody crap.” Tears rimmed her eyes.

“Oh, Summer, you’re wrong about that….” Wanting to comfort my niece, I stepped closer and reached for her shoulder, but she retreated with a warning glance. As I lowered my hand, I wondered how I’d be able to help her when she clearly didn’t want me near.

Violet gasped, shock rippling over her features. “I don’t mind saying your speech leaves much to be desired. You have a lot of changes to make if you ever hope to grow into a fine young lady.”

“If being a fine young lady means acting like a prissy old bitch, I’ll pass.” Satisfaction danced in Summer’s teary blue eyes as she swung her glance from Vi to me and back to Vi.

As if they had a mind of their own, the fingers of my right hand jerked up and sliced across the air. I caught myself just in time, or I’d have slapped Summer’s face. I’d come damn close. Too close. Shame rushed through me. Heat rose to my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that. I would never hit you.”

A knowing smile curved Summer’s lips. “Yeah, right.”

Violet’s jaw hung open for a moment before she snapped her mouth shut and slid onto the front seat.

I knew Summer had chosen her words for shock value.

She’d succeeded.

She’d insulted Violet.

More important, what was wrong with me? Until now, I’d never come close to hitting anyone. I’d have a long talk with Summer later. That way I wouldn’t be reprimanding her in front of Vi. Then I’d apologize to her again for losing control. Maybe I could persuade her to apologize to Vi.

Like that was going to happen any time soon.

I sent Vi a rueful look. She patted my hand and whispered, “Don’t worry about it, dear.”

A new wave of shame washed over me as I realized I couldn’t wait for Summer to leave.

Summer’s stony gaze pierced right through me as she scooted into the back seat and slammed the door.

I longed for the sweet young girl she’d been and the closeness we’d shared years ago.

I rounded the front of my car and slipped inside. No one spoke as I maneuvered the vehicle onto the Maine Turnpike and twenty minutes later took the Gray exit. I dropped off my mother-in-law first. As I continued toward home, I could hear Summer sniffing behind me. In the rearview mirror, I watched her wipe away tears from her face with the back of her hand. Trails of pale flesh crisscrossed her thick white makeup. Summer resembled a young child at Halloween, who’d discovered too late that her bag of candy had a hole in it.

If only her problems were that simple.

No matter what Summer said or did, I’d be patient with her. Surely I could handle being with my niece for a few days.

I vowed again to do my best to look beneath the surface and find the child I remembered.

And loved.

Tony’s Porsche pulled into my driveway three hours later. Relieved to see him stroll up my walk, I opened the door and rushed outside to meet him. My cardigan sweater fluttered in the cool evening breeze. As I reached up to brush a dark strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead, he pulled me against him. My arms circling his neck, I absorbed his warmth and his strength, my pent-up emotions and stress forgotten for a moment as his mouth came down on mine.

“How about we slip into the back seat of my car for a quickie,” he murmured against my lips.

I chuckled. “There’s no backseat.”

“I’ll make do.”

“I bet you would.” I moved away and, taking his hand, led him inside the house. “Thanks for coming over. I could really use some advice.”

“Has your niece come out of the bedroom yet?”

“No, not even to eat supper.” I worried my lower lip, not caring that my bad habit showed lack of confidence. When it came to Summer, I had no idea what to do, what to say, how to act.

Tony released my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “She’ll come down when she’s hungry enough.”

“I guess so. How’s your room at the motel?”

“Nothing special. Thankfully it’s only for a few days.”

“A few days could be a very long time. I’m in way over my head. What do I know about talking to a teenager?”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “You’ll do fine, and if you have any questions, I’m only a phone call away. Also, I spoke to Chelsea. She thinks hanging out with someone from Los Angeles would be cool.”

“That’s great.” If nothing else it would give me some time away from Summer. Guilt flowed through me. If they gave out an award for the worst aunt of the year, the trophy would be sitting on my mantel.

Tony crossed the room and opened the glass door to the cabinet where I stored a few bottles of wine and brandy. “Would you like a glass?”

“Sure.”

He poured white merlot into two glasses and after handing me one, sat on the couch. I lowered myself next to him.

“How did you get your daughter to agree?” I asked.

“I told Chelsea I’d finance a shopping spree to the mall if she volunteered to introduce your niece to her friends tomorrow after school.”

In our short phone conversation, I hadn’t had a chance to explain that Summer was…well…a bit different. “Summer wears a lot of makeup,” I said, realizing this was an understatement.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “So does Chelsea…when her mom isn’t looking. The last time I picked Chelsea up she looked like a raccoon with her eyes lined in black.”

“She wears heavy army type boots.” Probably to kick the butts of unsuspecting old ladies.

Tony laughed. “You worry too much. All teenagers experiment with clothing. For months last year my daughter wouldn’t go out the door without her oversized camouflage jacket she’d purchased for two bucks at Goodwill. She resembled an emaciated hunter.”

Was Tony right? Was I overreacting?

“How about I sneak back in tonight after everyone’s asleep?” he asked, kissing the side of my face.

I knew he was joking, but the idea was appealing. “I’m tempted. What would you say if I asked you to get your suitcase and move back in tonight?”

“I’d be a selfish cold-hearted bastard not to give you the time you need with your niece.”

I’m sure he was right. Yet I was disappointed because he hadn’t jumped at the opportunity.

“Hey, why the frown?”

Before I could reply, I heard a commotion in the backyard and the sound of splintering wood. I dashed outside with Tony at my heels to find Summer scrambling to her feet, the trellis that had been secured to the side of the house in pieces on the ground, several vines to my climbing roses torn.

“Are you all right?” I asked, hurrying to her side, reaching for her.

Summer flinched away. “Yup.” She lifted her long skirt and brushed dirt off her black nylons, which had holes in the knees.

In the dim light I saw that she’d applied a fresh layer of white makeup.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Instead of using the door like a normal person, she’d tried to climb down the trellis. Where was she going? Was she running away? Since I didn’t spot her black plastic bag, I assumed she’d planned to climb back up later.

“Oh, this is Tony,” I said and saw the disbelief on his face. My stomach twisted nervously.

After a pause, his mouth curved into a crooked grin.

Much to my surprise Summer smiled back. “Is that your set of wheels out front?”

“Yes.”

“That’s cool.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I start her up?”

Silence followed.

Indecision streaked across Tony’s face.

“That’s Tony’s pride and joy,” I said. I understood his reluctance, yet I was still a bit irritated that he hadn’t replied yet.

She waved a hand weighed down with rings. Blunt, black polished fingernails sliced through the air. “I don’t care anyway.”

But she did. And because of that it mattered to me, too.

“Well,” I said with my best smile directed at Tony. “Hand over the keys so Summer and I can listen to the purr of the engine.”

“An engine like that wouldn’t purr. It would growl, right Tony?” Summer added. “So can I start her up?”

For a moment, I thought he’d refuse.

He dug in his pocket and threw her the keys. “Be gentle.”

Her fingers swiped the keys, and she threw him another smile. “Cool.”

In that instant I loved Tony more than I’d thought possible. If he’d asked me to marry him, I’d have agreed.

Until now, Summer had dragged her feet when she walked. She ran past me and raced through the house, the heels of her heavy boots thumping on the hardwood floor, as she dashed out the front door. I’d barely caught up with her and dropped into the passenger seat when the engine roared to life.

From the doorway, I spotted a worried Tony watching our every move. I couldn’t blame him, but relinquishing his keys had been the ultimate sacrifice. I appreciated what he’d done, and I’d certainly tell him so later.

“This is the coolest car I’ve ever sat in.” Summer turned on the CD player and immediately shut it off, silencing Tim McGraw. “How can anyone stand listening to that crap?”

I liked country music, but I wasn’t about to admit to such depravity. This was as close as I’d come to having a civil conversation with Summer. “That music isn’t so bad.”

Summer rolled her eyes. “If I had a car like this, I’d be the most popular kid in L.A.” She fiddled with the radio until she found a heavy metal station and turned up the volume so loud I felt the bass pulsating around me.

“Do you think he’d mind if I backed it up a few inches in the driveway?”

Tony had left the doorway and stood near his car, wringing his hands.

“Mind? He’d go crazy.”

She threw me a knowing glance and laughed, her smile directed at me.

My heart skipped a beat. She’d let down her guard, and I hoped that was a sign of good things to come.

“I’d sure love to take it around the block,” she said, wistfully.

“Maybe if you had a permit.”

“Yeah, as if.”

“You’re right.” If it were my car, I’d let her.

A moment later Summer turned off the ignition, swung the door open and threw Tony his keys. “Thanks.”

She’d thanked him.

More progress.

“I was thinking of heading out for pizza. Would you like some?” he asked.

“Sure, can I come?”

He threw me a questioning glance, and I nodded approvingly.

“Only if you promise not to play your music,” he said, a strained, crooked grin in place.

They returned some time later with two large pizzas, a liter of Pepsi and a bag of vinegar chips. I knew instantly that something was wrong.

Tony slammed the boxes down on the counter and disappeared into the bathroom.

Summer took a paper plate I’d set on the table, loaded it with pizza and chips.

“Mmmm-mmm, vinegar chips are my favorite,” I said, taking one from the bag.

She rolled her eyes, shrugged, poured herself a glass of Pepsi and, grabbing her plate, charged up the stairs. At least she wouldn’t starve.

She’d no sooner slammed the bedroom door shut when Tony entered the kitchen.

“What happened?” I asked.

“That kid has a fresh mouth.”

Tell me something I don’t already know. “She’s had a rough life.”

“That’s no excuse for her to call me an uptight prick.”

Here I’d thought we were making progress. “Why’d she say that?”

“Because she wanted to?”

Which didn’t tell me a thing.

Not that I’d have taken Summer’s side, but I needed to understand. Should I press for details or wait until he’d calmed down?

I wrapped my arms around his waist. “She’s here for only a few days. I need you two to get along.”

His voice softened. “I’ll try, but that might not be possible.”

Though disappointed, I appreciated his honesty. “What set her off?”

His muscles tensed under my touch. “Are you taking sides?”

“No, just trying to understand.”

“There’s no understanding that kid. She’s rude. It’s as simple as that.”

“What were you talking about when she got upset?”

Tony pulled away, walked toward the sink and poured himself a tall glass of water. He drank half, turned and leaned against the granite countertop. “I was trying to get through to her, but she wasn’t having any of it. I told her how much work you’d done to make her stay special. The least she could do is show a little appreciation and not give you a hard time.”

“I don’t need you fighting my battles.”

“I know that. I was only trying to help.”

“Is that when she called you—”

“She didn’t say a word, instead she stared blankly out the window. Before I went inside to get the pizza, she asked if I could leave the engine running so she could listen to the radio. Of course I refused. I was afraid to come out and find her gone.”

“I certainly understand.”

“When I returned a moment later with the food, she was hunched against the seat, pouting. Thinking it would make her feel better, I pointed out that no one but me drives the Porsche. Not even you.”

That news didn’t settle well. “Does this mean you wouldn’t let me drive your car if I asked?”

“No, of course not.”

But there was enough doubt in his tone to make me wonder.

“So when exactly did Summer start calling you names?”

“Right after she found out you’d never driven my Porsche.”

“It sounds as though you think more of that damn car than me.”

“I never knew you wanted to drive my Porsche.”

“I didn’t…but now I do. Very much.”

“Then let’s go for a spin.”

This was silly. I really didn’t care about driving his car.

It was the principle.

Plus it had a stick, and I was no good at shifting.

I had to be sure he trusted me with his precious car.

He took his keys and slapped them into my palm.

I had my answer. I grabbed the keys, but after a few seconds, I handed them back to him.

He shook his head. “I thought we were going for a ride.”

“I just needed to know you’d let me drive your Porsche. I feel better now.”

When he nabbed the keys, his fingers captured mine. “Nothing is more important to me than you.”

“Not even your Porsche?”

“Let me think about that for a minute,” he said with a teasing grin.

I reciprocated with an elbow to his ribs. But it was all in jest. Because he’d proven to me that I mattered most.

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder—would he still have been smiling if I’d really taken his pride and joy for a ride?

We sat and ate pizza, discussed my job and his. He wouldn’t know for another week whether his firm got the bid for the mall. It was almost midnight when he stood to leave. I walked him to the door and leaned against him.

We held each other and kissed.

“Last chance for that quickie in the back of my car,” he whispered into my ear.

I sighed. “There’s not enough room.”

A deep sexy laugh rumbled from his chest. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

CHAPTER 5

A round midnight, wearing my comfy flannel nightgown and slippers, I crept up the stairs and listened outside my niece’s bedroom. Silence. My gut wrenched. Was Summer sleeping or had she escaped through the window?

How would I explain to my mother that I’d lost her granddaughter?

As I imagined all sorts of gruesome possibilities, I pushed the door open and was relieved to see her curled up in bed. I tiptoed across the room. The light from the bathroom slanted across the bed. I saw wet bath towels on the tiled floor beside the tub.

Typical teenager. Didn’t pick up after herself.

This revelation gave me hope.

Along with the fact she’d removed her makeup and looked less intimidating. She sighed softly. I wanted to sit next to Summer and take her into my arms. But I didn’t dare wake her.

Such a pretty girl.

Yet so confused.

As I admired her long eyelashes sweeping her tear-streaked face, I noticed her right hand curled under her chin, fingers clutching the little moose Vi had given her. I spotted part of a plastic bag sticking out from under the sheets and the ribbed neck of the oversized bright yellow nightgown I’d bought for her.

When I’d picked Summer up at the airport, I instantly regretted purchasing the nightgown and had never expected her to wear it.

A child of contradictions.

I’d also selected several T-shirts, which were no longer on the bureau. Had she tucked those into her bag? Compassion swelled in my chest for my niece who felt she had to guard her possessions.

I bent and brushed my lips against her cheek that smelled like Ivory soap. I considered turning off the bathroom light but remembered that at eight years old, she’d insisted on leaving a light on while she slept.

Summer put up a tough front, but inside, I suspected she was still a frightened little girl.

I’d need to remember that tomorrow, if confronted by the angry teenager clad in black, her face masked in white.

The next morning, determined to get reacquainted with my niece, I jumped out of bed, threw on jeans, a T-shirt and slid my feet into my slippers. I called my supervisor and explained I’d need some time off due to a family emergency. Once I’d taken care of that, I checked with the hospital to see how my sister was doing. The nurse in charge let me speak to my mom.

“Hi, how’s Dana?”

“She’s doing much better, but she’s suffering from malnutrition.”

“Will she be all right?”

“The doctor says she’s had a close call. She might not be so lucky next time.”

“I wish I could be there with her.”

“I know that, dear. How’s Summer?”

“She’s still sleeping. We had a bit of a rough start yesterday, but I’m certain we’re going to get along fine.”

“That’s a relief. Say hi to her for me.”

“Will do.”

“What’s the phone number to Dana’s room? The woman at the switchboard wouldn’t give it to me. I’m sure Summer will want to talk to her when she wakes up.” I’d hoped speaking to her mom would ease Summer’s worries, and maybe lessen the strain between us.

“To be perfectly honest, Dana doesn’t want to deal with Summer right now. Your sister needs to focus on herself and getting well. I hope you understand.”

I didn’t. “Dana has focused on herself for her entire adult life.

My mother issued a low groan. “Don’t be too hard on your sister. She has her faults, but right now, she needs our support and understanding.”

My sister needed someone to kick her butt, but we’d never agree. “Tell Dana that Summer and I send our love.”

“I’ll do that. I’ll call you tomorrow. Take care.”

“You, too. Bye.”

I hurried into the kitchen and took down the pancake mix from the cupboard, measured out two cups into a bowl and added milk and eggs. I took out my frustration by beating the mixture by hand. I knew that Dana was weak, but I couldn’t understand her not wanting to talk to her own daughter. It was the epitome of selfishness. Not only had Dana chosen drugs over Summer, but she’d also turned her back on her child when Summer needed her the most.

The scrape of heavy boots against the tile floor heralded Summer’s arrival.

I turned to greet her. “Good morning.”

She’d hidden her face with white makeup and painted tiny black stars at the corners of her eyes lined with black. I inhaled a fortifying deep breath. Nothing today would mar my good, positive mood. Well, except for Dana’s selfishness. Today I’d break the hardened shell Summer had erected around herself. Today we’d become friends.

Picturing the lost little girl I’d seen curled in bed last night, I gave her a bright smile. “I just got off the phone with your grandma. Your mom is feeling much better this morning, but she has strict orders to rest so we can’t call her. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be able to talk to her.”

“Whatever,” Summer said, waving her hand, her frown deepening.

“I’m sure your mom misses you a great deal.”

She shrugged. Disbelieving eyes met mine.

I’d expected Summer to vent her anger over not being able to speak to her mom. Was she disappointed? Maybe after everything she’d been through, she didn’t want to talk to Dana.

Hoping to change the subject and boost Summer’s mood, I asked, “Would you like blueberries in your pancakes or do you prefer them plain?”