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No.
No, no, no, no, no.
He couldn’t be here. This was all wrong.
“Jeremy.”
He grinned widely, his thousand-watt smile hitting her right in the solar plexus. Why did he have to be so handsome? “I hoped you’d be here. What’s it been? Four months?”
Four months, three weeks, and five days, she wanted to answer, but nothing came out of her mouth. What was he doing here? And could she escape without him noticing the obvious?
No such luck. At her silence, his gaze swept down, then back up, and his eyes were filled with questions and confusion. Of course, she’d chosen today to unveil her new maternity wardrobe. Her condition was perfectly plain for all to see.
“Why don’t you step into my office?” she asked, pulling herself together. “We can catch up. What brings you back to the Sandpiper?” Her voice came out smooth and steady, thankfully. It wouldn’t do for him to see her discomposed.
She turned her back and started toward the offices, her body trembling. Not just because of the lie of omission he’d caught her in, but because just the sight of him still had the power to turn her knees to jelly.
It had been a very good few weeks, after all. Too good.
She heard his steps behind her and once they were in her office, she shut the door. Staff might be family, but they didn’t need to hear every conversation, and no one here knew the identity of her baby’s father. She and Jeremy had tried to be discreet.
Her office was small, and felt smaller still with him in it. She turned around and faced him, finally, attempting to put up an emotional wall so she could maintain her objectivity. It was harder than she’d imagined. Jeremy had a presence about him that was magnetic. Today he was dressed in a charcoal-gray suit with a precisely knotted tie, and an overcoat that protected him from the cold Atlantic wind. His hair was tousled, as though the ocean breeze had fingers it had run through the strands, making them seem carelessly styled, and tiny drops of rain sparkled on the top. And his eyes… Right now his eyes were the same steel gray as the white-capped waves along the shore. Cold and unhappy. Her tummy turned over with anxiety.
“What brings you back to the area?” she asked, feigning a smile, skirting around him to sit behind her desk. Her tummy was hidden that way…
“Real estate. And I thought I’d look you up again while I was here. I didn’t expect to find you pregnant.”
The blunt statement hit her like a slap. So much for the hope of him not cluing in. It had been a long shot but she’d held out a smidgen of hope that her top might have camouflaged her bump.
She shrugged. “To be honest, it was a surprise to me, too.”
“Is it mine?”
Her stomach plummeted. There was no beating around the bush with him. Never had been. Right from the start, he’d been up front about his attraction to her. He’d been staying in their best suite and she’d checked in on him on the first day to make sure everything was okay. They’d ended up chatting for a long time, about the area and about how different it was from his life in the Big Apple. When he’d invited her out for a drink she’d said yes, and it had been over a pomegranate martini that he’d told her she had the most intriguing eyes of anyone he’d ever met. She’d been charmed…and wooed.
She’d admired his confidence and honesty then, though she wasn’t such a big fan of it at this moment.
For the briefest time, she considered saying no. It would solve a lot. But that simple answer was complicated by the small matter of her conscience. She had already been struggling with the fact that she hadn’t yet told him about the pregnancy. Then there was a certain amount of integrity at stake. There had been no one else. He’d been the only one.
“Of course it is. I don’t…make a habit of what happened between us.”
He regarded her dispassionately. “How was I to know that? And were you ever going to tell me?”
Curse her and her honesty. She held his gaze, determined not to cower. “Eventually. And thanks for that wonderful endorsement of my character. It’s always pleasant to be shamed by your baby’s father.”
He let out a breath and turned away for a moment, before turning back again. His gray eyes were contrite. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. It’s just… This is a hell of a surprise, Tori.”
“Yes,” she said, “I’m sure it is.”
“When…how…?”
Tori picked up a pen and played with it, resolving to keep up her appearance of strength. “We both know the answer to that question. Early July, and presumably one of the times we had sex.”
She did not call it making love, though it had certainly felt like that at the time. Her cheeks heated as a memory swept through her. As hokey as it sounded, she had a feeling that she knew exactly when it had happened. They’d spent the day at the beach, splashing about in the water and having a picnic on the sand. And then in the late afternoon they’d gone back to her place and had finished off the day by taking their sweet time with each other.
He’d been a fantastic lover. Gentle, attentive, passionate.
Now, with him standing in her office, at the very least unhappy and very likely angry, those sweet memories were somehow tarnished.
He let out a huge breath. “May I sit?”
She held out a hand. “Of course.” She wasn’t exactly in a position to deny him anything right now, was she? The fears she’d had about him knowing about the baby were all crammed into her brain and she fought hard to ignore them. Perhaps she could put him off somehow, so she could prepare what she wanted to say to him.
He pulled out the guest chair, then shrugged out of his coat and laid it over the back before sitting. He leaned forward onto his knees, resting on his elbows. Tori bit down on her lip. It wasn’t fair that he was so handsome. His brown hair and strong chin were reminiscent of JFK Jr., to her mind, but instead of his eyes being a rich brown, they were gray and heavily lashed. And right now they were looking at her with something like accusation and disappointment in their depths.
“I’m going to be a father,” he said, his voice rough. “You’re halfway through your pregnancy… When were you going to tell me?”
Her hands shook so she folded them on top of her desk. “I don’t know. I was waiting for the right time, and I’ve been going back and forth about it every day.” She figured honesty was the best policy here; Jeremy would see through any attempt to mollify or placate him, and he’d definitely sense a lie.
His voice hardened. “I have a right to know.”
This was the hard part. Just this morning she’d come to work like any other day. There was comfort in that. More than anything, Jeremy transported her out of her comfort zone and she struggled to find her feet in order to deal with this conversation.
She met his gaze again. “Our circumstances are a bit unique, you know. We had a fling. We live far apart, in two very different worlds. And I have no idea how to structure a co-parenting arrangement with someone who is, in many ways, a stranger.” She took a breath. “You have resources I don’t and I would lose in any sort of power struggle if you made a play for custody.” There. She’d said it. No sense beating around the bush.
He sat back then, the questions in his eyes replaced by… Could it be? He was hurt by her last statement. Or at least offended. Her pulse was hammering so hard right now she couldn’t quite trust her observations.
“Do you really think I’d do such a thing?”
She sat up straighter. “As I said, we don’t really know each other, do we? It wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. I’d die before letting someone take my baby away.”
Jeremy tried to breathe through the cramping in his chest. He’d been looking forward to surprising Tori today. Work had brought him back to the area on behalf of a client and he’d imagined reigniting the flame that had raged between them last summer. Truthfully, he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head, and this work trip on Branson’s behalf had given him the perfect excuse to get her out of his system once and for all.
Instead he’d found her carrying his baby. The pregnancy shook him to the core, but the veiled accusation he’d just heard…that was a real gut punch.
He was a straight shooter and liked to think he was a good man. But right now he held back the words forming in his brain and those already stuck in his throat. Because he was confused, and angry, and another emotion he couldn’t quite place. Hurt was part of it. And maybe disappointed. It was just a mess.
With his child stuck in the middle.
This was his worst nightmare. A family, kids—a wife, even—were not on his agenda.
“We used protection,” he said numbly.
“Which isn’t a hundred percent reliable. We were pretty careful, but…” Her hazel eyes met his. “Not careful enough, I guess. Believe me, this was not planned.”
His suit jacket felt too tight, and his tie strangled his throat. But he kept his hands firm on the arms of the chair. His gaze stole to her midsection again, though most of it was hidden behind the desk.
His child. With a woman he barely knew, someone with whom he had simply enjoyed a few weeks during a summer trip. And he’d come here with the sole objective of hooking up with her again. He ran his hand over his face.
He should have known that someday his behavior was going to land him in trouble. That eventually his casual approach to relationships would come back to bite him. No words of I love you, no commitments, no strings. That was how he liked it. And even though he’d enjoyed his time here, a few states and an international border had made Tori Sharpe seem like a perfectly safe…distraction.
He wasn’t really a player, but he’d classify his approach to romance as…cavalier. His best friend Cole called him a serial dater. Branson had silently agreed with the assessment. He hadn’t had a relationship that had lasted over a month since college.
He let out a breath and tried to relax his shoulders. “Okay. So the news is out now, like it or not.” He pinned her with his gaze. “And I have no idea what to do.”
The lines in her face softened. “That’s okay. I do. I don’t expect anything from you, Jeremy. I’m not going to come after you for exorbitant amounts of child support or anything. I’m going to raise this baby right here. I have tons of friends I can count on, and my mom is here, and we’ll be as happy as anything. I’ll even sign papers if you want.”
No child support? No contact? And raising the baby in this small town that was nearly dead in the off-season?
“Anything but that,” he replied.
CHAPTER TWO (#ue0c63d72-1cf0-564c-9dd9-e281c4ce9126)
AFTER JEREMY’S LAST statement, tensions had ratcheted up again. Tori had asserted that nothing was going to be decided that afternoon and perhaps they could pick up the discussion later after they’d both had time to think. He hadn’t looked happy, but Tori knew they could have gone around in circles indefinitely. It was going to take time to sort out, and she needed time to decide what she really wanted and how best to present it to Jeremy. Being caught on the fly had only made her panic, though she’d tried to cover it up as best she could.
She could compromise on a lot of things, but not on the basics. The baby would live here, with her. As far as his involvement went, that was negotiable. Now that he knew, she could hardly shut him out of everything and pretend he didn’t exist if that wasn’t what he wanted.
If she tried to cut him out of the baby’s life, she had the suspicious feeling he’d start throwing his weight around. And he had the money and connections to make things difficult. The fantasy bubble in which she’d held the memories of their time together was truly popped. It was like her mom said—if it seemed too good to be true, it probably was.
What a tightrope she was going to have to walk. Hopefully he was in town for only a few days.
He’d gone to check in to his room and she logged in to the reservations system to get the details of his stay. To her dismay, she discovered he’d booked twelve days. That took them well into December. And it was more than enough time for things to go seriously wrong. She tapped her fingers on her desk. How the heck was she supposed to navigate this?
She thought back to earlier, when she’d admitted flat out that she’d lose in a power struggle. His gray eyes had looked so shocked that she’d even think such a thing. He’d run his fingers through his hair, and his throat had bobbed as he swallowed. Her words had left their mark, and it boded well as far as being able to reach him. He wasn’t a cold and calculating monster, though she knew he was a tough negotiator when pushed. Watching him work closing deals last summer had shown her that, and she’d admired him for it at the time.
His wounded expression had also touched something in her heart she wished didn’t exist. She cared about him. Two weeks together in the summer had been more than enough time for her to develop feelings. Not love, certainly, but definitely affection. It hadn’t all been sexual. He’d been charming, and funny, and smart. In fact, he’d been nearly perfect. Even if she’d been absolutely fine knowing their time together would be no more than a whirlwind fling, it was hard to erase all of those memories and see him dispassionately as the father of her unborn child. He wasn’t just a sperm donor.
One morning they’d basked in the sunlight streaming through the bedroom window and he’d told her about why he loved real estate. It wasn’t just about the bargaining or the money. As his fingers had traced down her arm, he’d said it was about finding homes for people, places where they belonged and could be happy. And when he’d realized he’d let her in, he’d immediately backtracked and said it was just a big bonus that his clients were all stinkin’ rich.
But it had been a defense mechanism, she was sure. And she’d liked that glimpse into the man, and not just the fantasy.
Perhaps the best way to reach him was to approach the situation on a very human level. She could do that and still keep her other feelings locked away, right?
She put her hand on her tummy, wondering when she was going to start feeling the baby move. So far she had the bump but she hadn’t really felt much. A few times she wondered if she might be feeling flutterings of movement, but she’d been told they were probably just gas.
Either way, she’d do what she had to in order to make sure her baby was loved and secure.
Whatever it took. Even being super nice to Jeremy Fisher.
The mile-long beach in front of the Sandpiper Resort was beautiful, even in late November. The waves were now more gray than blue, and the wind was raw, but there was a wildness to it that Jeremy loved, and the sound of the waves soothed his troubled mind.
Because he was, indeed, very troubled.
He’d left his running shoes on, meaning he’d have to shake them out later as the sand, even in the November chill, was still soft and thick. The wind whipped his hair around and made his jacket billow out behind him. Just a few months ago he’d walked this very beach with Tori. She’d worn a red bikini and had left her hair down, damp with seawater. They’d had so much fun; fun that had been missing in his life for too long. For those two weeks he’d put his troubles aside and let himself go. She had, too, or at least he’d thought so. They’d shared a blanket on the beach and soaked in the sun’s rays; nibbled at a picnic prepared by the hotel kitchen; plucked seashells out of the damp sand that she said she was going to keep in her bathroom.
And then she’d taken him to her house and they’d spent hours exploring each other.
Just the memory made his body react, and he briefly considered jumping into the ocean, fully clothed, to cool off.
It had been easy being with her, because he’d known all along that he’d be leaving again. She wasn’t his usual type of woman; his family and his money generally ensured that his dates were not of the small-town, girl-next-door variety, and being with her had been utterly refreshing. Now he’d be tied to her forever, because she was having his kid and there was no way on earth he would abandon his own child. He’d never planned to have any children, but he had to deal with the reality that he was going to be a father, and he was determined to be a better one than his own had been.
But how could he demand that Tori uproot her life? That wasn’t fair either, and as much as Jeremy was used to getting what he wanted, he was a fair man. Or at least he wanted to think so.
He needed a plan. He was having a hard time formulating one because he was still stuck on the idea that he was going to be a dad.
The idea was terrifying.
The raw wind bit through his jacket right to his bones as he carried on down the beach. His own parents had divorced when he was two, and he barely remembered his dad. Too often he’d been a pawn in battles between his parents, to the point where he’d often felt like a commodity rather than a son. His mother had remarried when he was four, and his siblings had been much older than him. By the time he’d started high school, his sister had been eighteen and starting college, and his brother, ten years his senior, had already been working in Silicon Valley. Jeremy had gone to prep school, away from home.
From the outside he’d certainly looked like a child of great privilege. There had always been money. There hadn’t been a lot of love or warm fuzzies.
He stopped and stared out into the white-topped waves. Yesterday he’d watched as Tori cradled her gently swelling tummy and he’d seen the beatific expression on her face. That sort of maternal affection was completely foreign to him.
No matter what, he wouldn’t take this baby away from her. And he or she would never be a pawn in some battle. Not if he could help it.
He started the mile-long walk back to the resort, his thoughts still churning. It would be different if Tori forced his hand. What if she tried to shut him out? He wouldn’t try to shut her out, but he wasn’t about to let her keep him from being a part of the baby’s life. He didn’t want his child growing up feeling unloved, or that he didn’t care. The situation had to be handled with delicacy, that was for sure.
When he was almost to the resort, he looked up and saw a figure moving around the deck that in the summer had been a patio restaurant. The woman wore a heavy coat and a headband covered her ears, a dark ponytail keeping her hair tamed and out of her face in the brisk wind. The swirl of tension in his gut told him that it was Tori, even though her back was to him. On closer examination, he saw that she was stringing lights along the railing.
He jogged up to the main resort building and climbed the steps leading from the beach to the deck. “That’s a cold job,” he called out, and her head snapped up, the strands of lights forgotten in her fingers.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“I didn’t hear you over the wind and waves.”
He opened the gate and stepped onto the deck. He had gloves on his hands, but her fingers were bare and red. “You should be wearing gloves.”
“They make my fingers too clunky,” she answered, going back to the string of lights.
Jeremy moved forward and took them from her, then removed his gloves, tucked them beneath his arm, and took her hands in his. They were icy cold, and he chafed his fingers over hers to warm them. “Here. Put these on.”
“Jeremy, I’m—”
“Shh. They’re warm.” He tugged the gloves over her fingers. They were too big, but she flexed her hands and he knew the material still held some of his heat.
Moments ago he’d been ready to take her on if she decided to play hardball. Now he was giving her gloves for her cold fingers. For a moment he wondered if he was a weak man, but then he reminded himself that being on good terms would only help matters in the end.
“Let me do a few of these. You show me how you want them.”
“I’m just looping them on each post, see?” She held out a hand full of tie wraps. “Putting these on them, and snipping the ends with cutters.”
Unease slipped through him. She was looping them, certainly, but he went back and saw how she did it and tried to re-create the same positioning of the string, though it took a few tries. And the tie wrap… He figured out that one end went through the other and he had to pull it tight, but it was a foreign sensation. He was not a handy kind of guy, in any sense. Someone had always done that sort of thing at home. He had many talents. Being handy was not one of them.
Ugh. He really was a spoiled brat, wasn’t he?
She reached into her pocket for her cutters, then tightened his wrap a bit more and snipped the end. “Have you never hung Christmas lights?” she asked.
“First time,” he admitted, pulling on the strand until it was taut again. His fingers were already getting cold; how had she managed to put this many up without getting frostbite? But he pushed on because he didn’t want her to think he was a wimp or completely inept. Together they positioned, fastened and clipped the lights into place. Once they traded gloves so he could warm his hands, too, and then he put the lights up and over the arched entrance to the deck. “Will anyone even come out here?” he asked, trying hard not to shiver. He was pretty sure he couldn’t feel his ears anymore.
