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“Is my mommy safe?”
“I’m sure she is, but she’s probably stuck in traffic, sweetheart. She’ll be home soon.”
“I’m glad you’re not stuck somewhere, Aunt Lizzie. I need you to be here…with…me.” Words had slurred into silence then. And with a last flutter of lashes, Jesse had finally surrendered to sleep.
Elizabeth had actually felt the tension easing from the child’s body. Recalling it now, Elizabeth wrestled with conflicting feelings of loyalty to Gina and her love for Jesse. With a sigh, she rested her hands on the railing of the gazebo and felt frustration and not a little fear. Jesse was safe now, and yet Elizabeth knew how tenuous that security was. She was unable to control the other forces threatening this child of her heart. How many lectures had she given Gina about her responsibility to Jesse? And how little did anything she said matter when Gina’s obsession with Austin was so much stronger? It mystified Elizabeth how Gina could choose the brutal, unsafe existence she had with her lover over other options. And to subject Jesse to it defied understanding.
The truth was, no matter how Elizabeth wished it otherwise, Gina was basically flawed as a parent. She was a less-than-perfect mother. Of course, Elizabeth would never tell her that, or anyone else. She, above all others, understood Gina, knew where she came from. Her personality had been set in their early years as they’d been shuffled from one foster home after another, both longing for permanency and parents of their own. Knowing firsthand the damage that was done when children were denied the stability of a good home, why didn’t Gina do the right thing? It was this failure on Gina’s part to protect Jesse from the damage they’d suffered that confounded Elizabeth most.
Watching Jesse now, Elizabeth knew the bittersweet pain of loving someone else’s child. If Jesse were hers, she’d never be subjected to the terror of feuding adults. If Jesse were hers, she’d treasure the child as a gift from God. If Jesse were hers, it would be a second chance for her and she’d be a good mother the second time around. And this time, she’d never let go.
Two
Elizabeth received an e-mail the day after the article appeared in the newspaper, and her first reaction was total surprise. The address on the screen was unfamiliar, but the subject grabbed her instantly, which was exactly what the writer intended, she decided later. Usually, she went through her messages and deleted anything she didn’t recognize, as well as annoying advertisements and worse. How she’d managed to get on some of those lists, she hadn’t a clue. But the highlighted e-mail wasn’t an advertisement or a pitch to draw her into a porn site.
“Daughters of Judge Matthew S. Walker,” she read. The sender was somebody named Blackstone at a local television station. The name meant nothing to Elizabeth. She decided it was probably something to do with the article in the newspaper yesterday. Unlike Elizabeth, her editor had been pleased over the publicity. She’d probably dance a jig at the possibility of a live TV spot in a market as large as Houston. Still…
“Daughters of Judge Matthew S. Walker,” she read again, her hand hovering on the mouse. Being only human, curiosity got the best of her and she opened the e-mail.
Hi, Elizabeth.
You don’t know me yet, but it’s my hope that you will want to. I’m Lindsay Blackstone. You may have seen my show on WBYH-TV, “Lindsay’s Hour,” which is now canceled, I’m sorry to say. Anyway, I read the article about you in the Sunday Chronicle and, guess what? My sister Megan and I are your sisters! After Judge Walker’s death twenty-five years ago, we were adopted by Joseph and Emily Blackstone and now we would like, more than anything, to meet you.
Elizabeth’s heart was beating wildly in her chest now. Her sisters’ good fortune had been hard for the five-year-old Elizabeth to accept. While they’d been basking in the attention and care of two loving parents, she’d been surviving the trauma of numerous foster homes. Everything about that time was so painful that she never—absolutely never—allowed it to surface in her mind.
Megan is doing her residency at Hermann Hospital and hardly has a life at all, but she’ll make time to meet you. She’s as eager to know you as I am. Also, I was telling my producer here at Channel 6 about you being my sister. He saw the article, too, but as he has small children, he already knew about you and that you’d won the Newbery. Oh, by the way, congratulations on that! He said he hoped I had inherited some of that talent. He’s always trying to one-up me, but this time I have to agree. However, I hardly think my gift of gab is in a class with your awesome talent as a writer. Which brings me to this: When can we get together, Elizabeth? Just name the time and place. It’ll be wonderful to reconnect, don’t you think? Please call.
Elizabeth stared at a string of numbers, three for Lindsay, her office phone, her cell phone and her home, as well as numbers for Megan. There was even a number for the Blackstones at home. She’d signed the e-mail, “Love, Lindsay.”
She sat looking at that salutation for a long time. Rejecting it. Disbelieving it. Drumming up some kind of relationship with her biological sisters was the last thing she wanted or needed now.
Her throat was tight and her hands, resting on the keyboard, were unsteady. First, the article exposing facts from the past that she’d worked so hard to forget, and now this. She had known when she won the Newbery Medal that some of her cherished privacy would be compromised, but she hadn’t expected her whole life to become an open book. Hand on the mouse, Elizabeth deleted the e-mail.
She clicked the icon to bring up her word processing program and opened a new document to begin work, but thoughts of her sisters were not as easily zapped as an e-mail. Her peace of mind was destroyed. Her thoughts were in chaos. Lindsay’s interest was too late. Not wanted or welcomed now. After twenty-five years, they expected just to knock on her door and she’d open her heart and life to them? Even if she was somewhat curious about them, it wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. She had all she needed in her life now and it didn’t include them. She had her career, she had Gina and Jesse, and yes, even Louie, although he’d probably react to that with an ironic twitch of his mustache considering how difficult it had been to become her friend. Another thought struck her. Lindsay’s sudden desire to “reconnect” now was probably a ruse to get an interview, not a genuine need to get to know a long-lost sister. More intrusive publicity. Nothing could be less appealing to Elizabeth. She had enough on her plate without reuniting with two people who were virtual strangers to her. And in Gina, she had a sister in the truest sense of the word. Together, they’d shared the hell of growing up as wards of the state and that was a bond far stronger than some distant blood connection with no memories attached.
She clicked on her file list and opened the document she’d been working on yesterday, determined to get back to work. The tension in her began to ease eventually as she immersed herself in a world that she controlled, a world of discovery and wonder, a child’s world. Something that Jesse had said last night had given Elizabeth an idea for a scene. Jesse, to her delight, proved a rich resource for her books. Focused again on her work, she had the scene almost completed when Gina rushed in.
“The hearing’s Friday morning at ten,” she said breathlessly. “Maude just called. She wants you to be a character witness. And Louie, too.”
Elizabeth saved the document before turning to look at Gina. “Did Maude say she wanted to talk to me or Louie about our testimony?”
Gina wrapped both arms around herself, looking anxious. “No. I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t think to ask. I just freaked out once I heard the hearing was actually scheduled. He’s going to steal her from me, Lizzie, wait and see!”
Elizabeth suspected the same thing herself and had been diligently trying to figure out how to counter whatever maneuver Austin had up his sleeve. Knowing if she revealed her fears, Gina would be even more panicked, Elizabeth rose from her chair and went over to a leather couch, patting a place beside her. “Try not to panic, Gee. Austin would have to produce very damaging evidence against you before a judge would rule in his favor.”
“He wouldn’t have to look very hard to find stuff,” Gina said, sitting gingerly. “I’m unemployed, I can’t afford an apartment for us on my own, I’ve got a mountain of debt on three maxed-out credit cards, I—”
“Those debts were incurred by both of you,” Elizabeth said, thinking there were worse things than debt and homelessness that would be unflattering to Gina as a mother if Austin’s lawyer chose to use them. “Besides, you wouldn’t be in such desperate circumstances if Austin hadn’t forced you out of the firm. This is probably just harassment on his part and he doesn’t want Jesse at all, Gee. Deep down, it’s your claim to a financial settlement that’s driving him.”
“Maybe so, but I know he’ll try to take Jesse.”
“And Maude will argue that he’s been a sorry excuse for a father.”
“Nothing will stick,” Gina said bitterly. “Trust me. Somehow his lawyer will make me out to be a…a slut or something. And probably unstable, too.”
Although Elizabeth believed that was a very real possibility, she wouldn’t say it. As it was, Gina was dangerously close to meltdown from the stress of the breakup. In spite of the fact that Austin was cruel, insensitive and violent, there was clearly something about him that drew Gina.
Eight years ago, Gina had been hired as a paralegal at the law firm where Austin’s father was a senior partner. Why he had fallen for her was understandable. Gina was beautiful, a dark-haired, vivacious person with a sharp wit and ready smile. She was good at her job, too. In fact, Elizabeth had tried to persuade her to go to law school, but that would have meant time away from Austin. Still, it wasn’t long before Austin’s controlling ways and ungovernable temper took some of the bloom off the romance and dashed Gina’s rosy expectations. He wouldn’t marry her, but he wanted her. Their life together was stormy and unpredictable, up one day, down the next. Crazy. Why she’d stayed in such a relationship still mystified Elizabeth. But now, because he was Jesse’s father, it made sense to tread carefully.
“Who is his lawyer?” Elizabeth asked.
“Wait’ll you hear,” Gina said gloomily. “It’s Ryan Paxton.”
“So? Who is he?”
“Just the best that Leggett, Jones and Brunson has when it comes to winning in court.” Gina got up to pace, rubbing her forehead and frowning. “I told myself it couldn’t be Ryan, at least I didn’t think he’d take on something like this. He’s not exactly a friend of Austin’s. In fact, I always got the feeling that he disliked Austin, or at least that he found him kind of…well, he didn’t have much respect for him. He knows Austin got into the firm through his father while everybody knows that Ryan is where he is because he’s smart, he works like a dog and he brings in a ton of clients.” She stopped and grabbed Elizabeth’s phone. “I’m calling Maude back. I need to warn her just how formidable Ryan can be in the courtroom.”
Elizabeth watched her dial, then listened as she spoke to Maude Kennedy. The conversation was brief and when she hung up, she knew by the look on Gina’s face that Maude had failed to reassure her.
“I’m in big trouble, Lizzie. Maude says she knows Ryan’s reputation and I’m right to be concerned. She wants me to think about what to say on the stand, but it’s hopeless. Ryan will wipe the floor with me.” Gina gave a choked cry. “The man’s a barracuda! He never loses.”
“Every lawyer loses once in a while.”
“Then for Ryan, it’s once in a very rare while. Frankly, I don’t recall him losing even once since he’s been with the firm.”
Elizabeth stood up. “Actually I see an advantage here, Gee.” She gave her a little push toward the door. It was time for lunch. Jesse had half a day at kindergarten and was now playing in the yard under Louie’s watchful eye, but she would be coming inside soon. She didn’t intend for the child to get wind of any stress, especially regarding her contemptible father. “If Paxton has been in the firm that long, then you’re hardly a stranger to him. No matter what gossip he hears, it’s facts he must present in court.”
Gina was still wringing her hands. “I can’t count on that. I was a paralegal, not a lawyer, and I worked exclusively for Austin. When it comes to taking the side of some lowly ex-employee at LJ and B over someone whose father is Curtiss Leggett himself, guess who’ll come out on top?”
“Austin forced your resignation from the firm, Gee. When he realized you planned to demand child support for Jesse, you had to go. Just as he forced you to move out of the house where the two of you have lived together for eight years. Maude will reveal all that in court. When this is over, you should file a civil suit against the firm. You have every right to bring your own case.”
“Hah! That’s all Austin is waiting for,” Gina said bitterly. “I can’t bear to think what he’ll do if I don’t just shut up and let him have his way.”
“Does that include handing Jesse over?” When Gina’s eyes filled with fresh tears, Elizabeth felt a pang of remorse. Gina knew what was at stake without being reminded. “I don’t think you need to worry too much about Paxton digging up dirt on you, Gee. He’ll be aware that you’ve been a conscientious employee. Knowing this, he’ll hardly go for your jugular.”
“You don’t know him.” Gina looked defeated. “Wait and see, he’ll destroy me.”
“I don’t care how you do it, just destroy her.”
Ryan Paxton placed his pen on the legal pad and leaned back in his chair, watching his fellow colleague stalk about the office, tight-lipped and furious. “That’s a pretty harsh statement, Austin.” Ryan glanced at the notes he’d taken. “Nothing you’ve said so far is going to give a judge sufficient cause to deny Gina compensation after a live-in arrangement that lasted eight years.”
“That’s why we have to destroy her.”
Ryan sighed with frustration. Austin Leggett was his client only because Curtiss Leggett, senior partner at Leggett, Jones and Brunson and Austin’s father, had approached Ryan and asked him to represent his son in “a delicate matter.” Curtiss wanted a quick, quiet and final resolution to a sticky situation without a hint of any unpleasantness to the firm. Ryan studied his notes. Making that happen was going to be tricky. Gina D’Angelo had been a paralegal at LJ and B and Austin had been shacking up with her for eight years. They had a child, a little girl, five years old. Now Austin wanted out of the relationship and he didn’t want any expensive consequences. Tuning out Austin’s ranting, he briefly considered telling Curtiss he wanted no part of Austin’s sleazy life. But as a partner in the firm, the reputation of LJ and B was as important to Ryan as it was to Curtiss. Too bad Austin didn’t have the same concern.
“I guess you didn’t consider the firm’s policy of non-fraternization when the two of you became lovers,” Ryan said to him now.
Austin shrugged. With his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, he looked like a petulant teenager being forced to discuss a misdemeanor. “We had some good times. In the beginning.”
“I hope it was worth a couple of thousand a month in palimony, buddy. Because that’s what I’d expect from you if I were her lawyer, plus child support.”
Austin was shaking his head, dismissing the possibility.
“Not a problem. The attorney she’s hired is some bleeding-heart female who specializes in family matters. You can run rings around her without half trying. Name’s Maude Kennedy.”
“I know Maude Kennedy. I’ve seen her in court where the only bleeding is from wounds inflicted by Maude herself. No, Austin, you’ve got to have something more than hostility and wishful thinking to get out of this one with your assets intact.” Ryan rested farther back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head. “Frankly, it’s the kid that complicates everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if you didn’t have the little girl…” He moved forward, paged back in his notes, found a name. “Jesse, is it? If you didn’t have Jesse, Gina’s case would be a lot weaker. Come on, Austin, she’s your flesh and blood. You want to do the decent thing for your daughter, don’t you? It’s Gina you’ve fallen out of love with, not Jesse, right?”
Scowling, Austin resumed pacing in the cramped office. Ryan had a tendency to stack material on any empty surface, including the floor. Case files littered the thick carpet along with reference books, computer printouts and—Ryan winced—the empty pizza box from last night’s take-out when he had been burning the midnight oil on a real case, and not some irritating domestic dispute between two former lovers who now hated each other. But if the clutter hampered Leggett, or if he even noticed, he gave no indication. He was too intent on coming up with a strategy to stiff Gina, even if it meant his own daughter’s quality of life suffered.
“What if I sued for custody of Jesse?”
Ryan felt a pang of sympathy for the little girl. “You’d have to prove Gina unfit, since she’ll probably put up a fight. Mothers are funny that way,” he added dryly, but Austin was busy thinking and missed the irony in his tone.
“She had a rough upbringing.”
“Gina?”
“Yeah, she was raised in foster care. Lived with a dozen families, the way she tells it. Then struck out on her own when she was about sixteen. She’s been around the block more than once.”
“No crime there.”
“It shouldn’t be difficult to prove she isn’t the best role model for a five-year-old girl.”
“Starting with…?”
“Hell, I don’t know.” He rubbed both hands over his face. “There’s gotta be something. Nobody’s perfect.”
“You’d be the best judge of that after observing her as a mother for five years. I’ll need specifics and so far, I haven’t heard any. I don’t know Gina personally. Except for an occasional encounter in the halls, I don’t think we’ve ever talked. But she seems pretty solid to me. She’s a damn good paralegal, according to my assistant, Jean Johnson.”
“Yeah, well, give me a day or two and I’ll compile a list that’ll guarantee she’s unfit to mother a stray cat, let alone my daughter.”
“It has to have the ring of truth, Austin. You go at it from the angle of proving her unfit with bogus charges and Maude Kennedy will hang us both out to dry.”
“Well, shit!” Austin flung himself into a chair.
“For starters, Maude will produce a couple of character witnesses. I don’t need to remind you that they say nice things.”
Austin looked up. “But we’ll diss the witnesses, right?”
Ryan shrugged. “Depends. You’ll need to cast doubt on their veracity. But…I’m warning you, you screw that up, it could do your case big-time harm.”
Austin grunted with irritation, rubbing the fingers of one hand along his jaw, thinking. “I bet I know who she’ll call.”
Ryan clicked his pen, ready to write.
“She’ll probably persuade that tight-assed bitch she’s moved in with to lie about her on the stand. Those two are disgusting when they get together. And they’re together permanently now, just the way Elizabeth has always wanted it. I’ve always known she had the hots for Gina. Talk about feminism gone rampant.”
“She’s living with a lesbian?” Ryan jotted a note on the pad and added a question mark. It paid to take Austin’s statements with some skepticism.
“Wait’ll you meet her…and that old goat they’ve practically adopted next door. He’ll be witness number two. I tell you, it’s like a sixties compound over there when they all get together. Elizabeth writes, if you consider books for kids real writing, and the old man doesn’t do much of anything, far as I can tell. Mostly acts the doting grandfather. Wait and see, between the two, they’ll pressure him into swearing they’re all saints.”
Ryan put his pen down. “Have you considered the fact that her friends might actually be decent people? And that Jesse might be better off with surrogates who really love her?”
“You think I don’t?”
“I think you’re so obsessed with putting an end to your relationship with Gina that you’re in danger of losing sight of what’s best for Jesse. You can bet the judge won’t. That’ll be uppermost in his mind. And in his ruling.”
“All I’m obsessed with is blocking Gina’s plan to take me to the cleaners. Jesse’ll be fine with me. I—”
Ryan lifted a hand to halt him as the phone rang. A glance at caller ID showed his daughter’s cell phone number. Jennifer had strict instructions not to disturb him short of an emergency, but lately she’d been stretching the definition of emergency. He reached for the phone. Almost everything was an emergency to a fifteen-year-old girl, he thought with a sigh.
“What’s up, Jen?”
“Dad, did you call Mom like I asked you to?” Without waiting for a reply, Jennifer rushed on in a whiney voice. “She’s so impossible, Dad. She’s treating me like I’m ten years old or something.” Her voice climbed several notes in distress. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this!”
Ryan spun his chair to face the skyline. “Take what, Jen? And make it quick as I’m with a client and you know—”
“Excuse me, but I hope I’m equal to a client,” she said frostily. “I’m your daughter. Do I have to make an appointment to talk to you on the phone?” She drew an impatient breath and regressed to teenager mode again. “And you didn’t answer me. Did you talk to Mom or didn’t you?”
“I haven’t made the call yet, Jen, and I’m not sure what you thought it would accomplish anyway. Your mother has rules that seem reasonable to me.”
“You promised, Dad!” she cried shrilly.
Ryan shifted the phone a bit from his ear. “And I will, Jen. I just haven’t managed to get a—”
“Oooh, this is so…so…not okay! If you had to live with her every day you’d see what I’m talking about.”
“What exactly is the problem, Jen? How is she treating you like a baby? Be specific.”
“That sounds so like a lawyer,” Jennifer said with disgust.
“I am a lawyer,” Ryan said dryly.
“Well, here’s the problem.” He heard the bounce as she flopped on her bed. He pictured her settling back, taking her time—and his client’s—to spin her side of the latest battle between her and his ex. “Jeff Landon invited me to this party and I saw these really neat boots, but Mom just acted so…so…as if we were on food stamps or something. She said no. Just a flat no, I couldn’t have them, they were too expensive. That I—”
“Maybe you didn’t need them, baby.”
“I did! They were too cool. Via Spigas. Perfect with my new outfit.” She took a breath, dropping her tone. “It’s not just the boots, Dad. It’s that she doesn’t have time for me anymore. She’s got this new guy friend. He’s gross. He’s bald, Dad.”
“Jennifer, is this about new boots or about your mom’s new friend? And remember, I’m working. If you were a client, I’d be billing you big bucks.”
“Oh, funny, Dad. In other words, you don’t have time for me either, right? Mom doesn’t have time, you don’t have time. I don’t have any friends anymore. Jeff will probably dump me if I have to wear something old! If it weren’t for Mocha, I’d be totally alone in the world. My whole life sucks!”
Mocha was Jennifer’s chocolate lab. The aging dog had been faithfully devoted to her since she was five years old. Ryan swung back around, removed his reading glasses and tossed them on the desk. “So far I haven’t heard anything from you that sounds so awful,” he said, rubbing a spot between his eyes. “And don’t swear. You know the rule. And it goes for me as well as Diane, damn it.”
