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It was starting to feel like she was running an obstacle course every time she made any movement in the palace. One wherein Luca was the obstacle that she was trying desperately to avoid.
But she wanted to see him, too. That was the real conundrum. The fact that she wanted to both avoid him and be with him all the time. Foolish, because he wasn’t even nice to her. He never had been. But still, he captivated her in ways that went beyond sanity.
And today there would be no more avoiding him as he had engaged the services of a new stylist to help her prepare for the ball. The ball wherein she was supposed to choose a husband.
Luca and those dossiers had enraged her. She had picked every man who was completely opposite to him, to spite herself, mostly.
She highly doubted that she would marry any of these men. But one thing she knew for certain was that she would not marry a man who was simply a pale carbon copy of her stepbrother. She would not choose a man who was tall, dark and handsome, who had that kind of authority about him that Luca possessed. Because it would simply be an effort at giving her body a consolation prize. And that was far too tragic, even for her.
She shouldn’t be tragic, she mused as she wandered down the labyrinthine hall toward the salon where she was meeting the new stylist. She had been a commoner, and she had been raised up to become the princess of a country. She had been adopted by a king. A man who had loved her, and had loved her mother. Who had shown them both the kind of life that neither of them had ever dreamed possible.
But Luca. Always Luca.
It was as though her heart was intent on not being happy. As though it wanted to be tragic. In the same way that it had determined that Luca would be its owner.
In a palace, a life of luxury, and with that came a fervent, painful love for the one man she could never have.
And, he didn’t like her.
Star-crossed lovers they were not. Because Luca could hardly stand to share the same space as she did. He thought she was silly, that much was apparent from their exchange yesterday. They were from completely different worlds. The man couldn’t understand why she found it off-putting to be looking through file folders filled with profiles of men she had never met, trying to work out which one of them she could see herself marrying.
Although she supposed it wasn’t entirely different from online dating.
No. She refused to pretend that any of this was reasonable. It wasn’t.
She wondered if she would ever find someone who just wanted her. These men, who had agreed to come to the palace, would never have done so if she wasn’t a princess.
It was the only reason her biological father had ever spoken to her. After he’d seen her mother in the media, marrying King Magnus.
King Magnus had loved her. But...he had only strived to love her because of her mother.
And Luca...
Well, nothing seemed to make Luca like her at all. Not status, or herself.
He was consistent, at least.
She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the sight of him. That was another problem with Luca. Too much exposure to him and her poor heart couldn’t recover between moments. Not enough, and it always flung itself against her breastbone as though it were trying to escape. Trying to go to him. To be with him.
Her heart was foolish. And the rest of her body was worse.
She gathered herself up, drew in the deepest breath possible, hoping that the burning in her lungs would offset the rest of her physical response. That it might drown out the erratic tripping of her pulse.
Then, she pushed the door open.
And all the breath left her body in a rush.
There was no preparing for him. No matter how familiar she was with his face, with that imposing, muscular physique of his, it was like a shock to her system every time. Those dark eyes, eyes that she sometimes thought might see straight through her, but they couldn’t. Because if they did, then he would know. He would know that she was not indifferent to him. He would know that her feelings toward him were in no way familial.
He would be disgusted by her.
It took her a while to notice that there was a woman standing next to him. The new stylist, presumably. It took her a while, because as far as she was concerned when Luca was in the room it was difficult to tell if anyone else was there at all.
“You must be Princess Sophia,” the woman said. “I’m Elizabeth.”
“Nice to meet you.” Belatedly, she decided that she should try and curtsy or something, so she grabbed the edge of her sundress and bent forward slightly. She looked up and saw that Luca was watching her with a disapproving expression on his handsome face.
If she bowed down and called him King of the Universe he would disapprove. He was impossible.
“She needs something suitable for an upcoming event,” Luca said. “She must look the best she ever has.”
“I am confident that I can accomplish such. It is simply a matter of knowing what sort of energy Sophia should be projecting. All these colors that she’s wearing now are far too drab. And from what I have seen in pictures and publications over the years, her overall color palette doesn’t suit her. I have plans.”
Suddenly, Sophia felt very much like she was being stared down by a hungry spider. And she was a fly caught in the web.
“Just leave it to me,” she said, shooing at Luca.
“I must approve the selection,” he said. Obviously not taking kindly at all to being shown the door in his own palace.
“You will approve,” Elizabeth said, her tone stubborn. “You will see soon.”
The rest of the afternoon was spent styling and plucking and scrubbing.
Sophia felt as though she had been exfoliated over every part of her body. This woman did not try to have her hair completely straightened, but rather, styled it into soft waves, which seemed to frame her face better, and also—so she said—would not revert halfway over the course of the evening. Which was the problem that Sophia usually had with her hairstyles. Her hair wasn’t curly, but it was not board-straight, either, and it could not hold such a severe style for hours on end. It became unruly when she got all sweaty. And she supposed it was not a good thing to sweat when you were a princess, but she did.
Then there was the matter of the gown she chose. None of the navy blue, black or mossy-green colors that her mother’s stylist favored. No, this gown was a brilliant fuchsia, strapless with a sweetheart neckline that did nothing at all to cover her breasts. It draped down from there, skimming her waist, her full hips. Rather than making her look large like some of the high-necked gowns that had been chosen for her before, or blocky like the ones that hit her in strange places at the waist, she actually looked...curvy and feminine.
Typically, she didn’t show this much skin, but she had to admit it was much more flattering when you could see that she had cleavage, rather than a misshapen mono breast.
Her lipstick matched the dress, and her eye makeup was simple, just black winged liner. Her cheeks were a very bright pink, much brighter than she would have normally done, but all of it created a very sophisticated effect. And for the first time she thought maybe she looked like she belonged. Like maybe she was a princess. Not a girl being shoved into a mold she resolutely could not fit into, but one who’d had a mold created just for her.
“He will approve of this,” Elizabeth said.
“You know he is my stepbrother,” Sophia pointed out. “He doesn’t need to approve of it in that way.”
The very idea made her face hot. And that she wanted him to...that she wanted him to want her was the worst humiliation of all.
“I know,” the woman said, giving her a look that was far too incisive. “But you wouldn’t mind if he did.”
Sophia sputtered. “I... He can’t.”
“That has nothing to do with what you feel. Or what you want.”
Sophia felt like she had been opened up and examined. Like her skin had been peeled away, revealing her deepest and most desperate secrets. She hated it. But she didn’t have time to marinate in it because suddenly, the door was opening, and Luca had returned. Obviously, Elizabeth had texted him to say that Sophia was ready. But she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to face him, not with the woman next to her knowing full well how Sophia felt about Luca. Because now she felt like it was written across her skin, across her forehead, so that it could clearly be read by the man himself.
Her earlier confidence melted away, and her skin began to heat as Luca stopped, his dark eyes assessing her slowly.
Her body tingled, her breasts feeling heavy, her nipples going tight as though his fingertips were grazing her skin. As if he was doing more than simply looking.
“It will do,” he said, his tone as hard as his features.
Her throat felt prickly, and she swallowed hard, feeling foolish, her heart fluttering like a caged bird trying to escape. How could she feel so much when he looked at her, while he felt nothing for her at all? While he clearly saw her as an annoyance.
He didn’t look impressed; he didn’t look awed or surprised with what she had felt was a total transformation.
“I am glad that I reach at least the bottom of your very lofty standards, Your Majesty,” she said stiffly. “I can only hope that a certain Swedish noble has a slightly more enthusiastic response.”
“I said that it will do,” he reiterated. “And it will. What more do you want from me, sorellina?”
“I spent the entire day receiving a makeover. I would have thought it would garner a response. But it seems as if I am destined to remain little more than wallpaper. It is okay. Some women are never going to be beautiful.”
She grasped the flowing skirt of her dress with her fists and pushed past Luca, running out of the room, down the hall, running until her lungs burned. The sound of the heels she was wearing on the floor drowned out the sound of anything else, so it wasn’t until she stopped that she heard heavy footsteps behind her. And she was unprepared for the large, strong hand that wrapped around her arm and spun her in the opposite direction. It was then she found herself gazing up into Luca’s impossibly dark and imposing eyes.
“What is it you want from me?” he asked, his voice low and hard. Shot through with an intensity she had never heard in his voice before. “What do you want me to give you? What reaction would have been sufficient? In the absence of the one man you have ever wanted, what is it you expected me to give you? Do you want me to tell you that you’re beautiful? Do you want me to tell you the curves would drive any man to distraction? That every man in that ballroom is going to imagine himself holding you in his arms? Feeling those luscious breasts pressed against his chest? Kissing those lips. Driving himself inside you? Is that what you want to hear? I can give you those words, Sophia, but they are pointless. I could tell you that any man who doesn’t want you was a fool, but what is the point in saying those words? What could they possibly mean between the two of us?” He released his hold on her, and she stumbled backward. “Nothing. They mean nothing coming from me. It will always be nothing. It must be.”
“Luca...”
“Do not speak to me.” He straightened then, his expression going blank, his posture rigid. “It will do, Sophia. You will wear that dress the night of the ball. And you will find yourself a husband. I will see to that.”
It wasn’t until Luca turned and walked away, wasn’t until he was out of her sight, that she dropped to her knees, her entire body shaking, her brain unwilling to try and figure out what had just passed between them. What those words had meant.
He said it could be nothing. It was nothing. She curled her fingers into fists, her nails digging into her skin.
It was nothing. It always would be.
She repeated those words to herself over and over again, and forced herself not to cry.
CHAPTER FOUR (#u1672c64f-daf0-5626-b657-4293c8ad2ba0)
HE HAD ACTED a fool the day that Sophia had received her makeover. He had... He had allowed his facade to crack. He had allowed her to reach beneath that rock wall that he had erected between himself and anyone who might get too close.
He never acted a fool. And he resented the fact that Sophia possessed the power to make him do so.
His entire life was about the crown. The country.
His mother had driven the importance of those things home before she died. In an exacting and painful manner. One that had made it clear it was not Luca who mattered, but San Gennaro. The royal name over the royal himself.
He had shaped himself around that concept.
But Sophia had looked...
Thankfully, it was time. The guests had all arrived for the ball, with Sophia scheduled to arrive fashionably late so as to draw as much attention as possible.
His attention had been fixed on her far too much in the past few days. Sadly, everything his body had suspected about her beauty had been confirmed with this recent makeover. This stylist had managed to uncover and harness the feminine power that had always been there. And she had put it on brilliant display. Those curves, not covered anymore, but flaunted, served up as if they were a rare delicacy that he wanted very much to consume.
And of course, other men were going to look at her this way. Other men were going to dance with her.
Another man was going to marry her. Take her to his bed.
It was the plan. It was his salvation. Resenting it now... Well, he was worse than a dog in the manger, so to speak. Much worse.
He made a fox and a hen house look tame. Of course, if he were the fox he would devour her. He would have no one and nothing to answer to.
He was not a fox. He was a king.
And he could not touch her. He would not. He would honor that final request his father had made. To keep her safe. To see her married to a suitable man.
He was not that man, and he never could be.
Even if their relationship wasn’t as it was, he would not be for her. He might have been, once. But that possibility had been destroyed along with so many other things. He had very nearly been destroyed, too. But as he had set about to rebuild himself, he had made choices. Choices that would redeem the sins in the past. Not his sins to redeem. But that mattered little.
He was the one who had to live with the consequences. He was the one who had to rule a country with strength and unfailing wisdom.
And so, he had purposed he would.
But that did not make him the man for her.
Thank God the ball was happening now. Thank God this interminable nightmare was almost over.
She would choose one of the men in attendance tonight. He would be certain of that.
He stood at the back of the room, surveying the crowd of people. All of the women dressed in glorious ball gowns, none of whom would be able to hold a candle to Sophia, he knew. None of whom would be able to provide him with the distraction that he needed.
“This is quite lovely.” He turned to see his stepmother standing beside him. She had been traveling abroad with friends for months, clearly needing time away to process the loss of her husband. Though she was back now, living in a small house on palace grounds.
It suited her, she said, to live close, but no longer in the palace.
She had lost a significant amount of weight since the death of his father, and she had not had much to lose on that petite frame of hers to begin with. She was elegant as ever, but there was a sadness about her.
She had truly loved his father. It was something that Luca had never doubted. Never had he imagined she was a commoner simply looking to better her station by marrying royalty. No, there had been real, sincere love in their marriage.
Something that Luca himself would never be able to obtain.
“Thank you,” he said.
“And all of this is for Sophia?”
“Yes,” he said. “It is as my father wished. He wanted to see her in a good marriage. And I have arranged to see that it is so.”
“Yes,” she said, nodding slowly. “But what does Sophia think?”
“She has agreed. In that, she has agreed to try to find someone tonight. And if she does not, she has six months following to choose the man that she wishes. But I have confidence that one of the men tonight will attract her.”
“I see,” she said.
“You do not approve?”
“I married your father because I loved him. And one of the wonderful things that came with that marriage was money. With money came the kind of freedom that I never could have hoped Sophia to have if we had remained impoverished. I hate to see it curtailed.”