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“Couldn’t have done it without you. You…will always hold a special place in my heart. And in his.” She waved a hand toward the baby. “What’s your middle name?”
Surprised, he said, “Callum. Jared Callum Murdock. There’s a lot of Irish and Scottish blood on my father’s side of the family.”
“Callum,” she said. “Then that’s what we’ll call him. Callum Andrew Emerson. Andrew was my father’s name.”
Jared watched as she drifted back to sleep, her words echoing in his mind like the music of the mandolins and fiddles she had listened to during her labor. She was going to name her son after him. That brought him comfort and made him feel proud.
He hadn’t felt proud, really proud, for a very long time now. And in spite of the awesome events that had transpired since he’d first arrived at this cabin, Jared knew that sooner or later he was going to have to go back to Atlanta and accept everything he’d left behind, so he could start fresh.
Soon. But not just yet. He wanted to sit here a while longer and watch Alisha sleep. He wanted to keep an eye on the little tyke nestled inside the old bassinet. Just for a few more precious minutes, Jared wanted to experience the peace of this beautiful spring morning.
He could ignore the fallen tree limbs in the nearby woods and his vehicle stuck out on the narrow, rutted road. He could ignore the piercing chill of this last snap of cold before spring was officially here. He could ignore the pounding pressure of guilt and worry inside his own head. But he couldn’t ignore the soft breathing of this beautiful and brave woman, nor could he ignore the sweet heartbeat of the infant sleeping right next to her.
But mostly, he couldn’t ignore the questions. He wanted to know all about Alisha Emerson. And he especially wanted to know what had brought her here to Dover Mountain.
Chapter Three
H e heard the screams in his sleep.
Jared opened his eyes, disorientation making him wonder where he was for just a minute. Then he saw the woman in the bed and remembered what had happened here last night. He’d helped Alisha Emerson give birth to a little boy.
Alisha was having a nightmare. She moaned and cried out again. “No, no. My baby—no!”
Jumping up out of the chair where he’d been drifting in and out of sleep, Jared grabbed her arm, gently shaking her. “Alisha! Alisha, wake up!”
Her eyes flew open while her arms went up in defense. “No—” She stopped, looking around the room with wild eyes before her gaze came back to him. Then her hand flew to her mouth. “Where’s Callum?”
“He’s right here, in his bed,” Jared said, his hand still on her arm. His gaze held hers and he saw the alarm in her eyes. A fine sheen of cold sweat covered her face. She was shaking; he could feel it through the heavy flannel of her flowered nightgown. Wanting to reassure her, he said, “Your baby is fine, just fine.”
Alisha fell back against the pillows then closed her eyes again. “I was having a bad dream. They were…trying to take Callum from me.”
“Who?” Jared asked, concerned as he saw the flush of anxiety moving across her face. “Who was trying to take him?”
She shook her head. “Just some people, in the dream. It wasn’t real. Thank goodness it wasn’t real.”
Jared touched a hand to her forehead. “You feel warm. You might have a fever.”
“No, I’m just—it was the dream.” She shrugged, fluffed her long hair, then fell back against the pillow. “I guess all new mothers feel this way, right?”
“Considering your long night of labor, here alone until I came, it’s understandable you’d have nightmares.”
He watched as she held her eyes shut, as if she were trying to block out what she’d just seen inside her head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” Finally, she opened her eyes. They were a clear, vivid green now, devoid of any fear or apprehension. “I’m hungry.”
“Of course, you’d be hungry,” he said, relaxing a little. “I’ll make you some soup.”
“Not too spicy,” she said in a raw whisper. “I’m breast-feeding.”
“Right.” He nodded, grinned. “I read in the baby book all about colic and late-night crying bouts. And that’s just the baby.”
She managed a weak smile. “Very funny.”
“That’s better,” Jared told her, hoping to keep her cheered up. He’d also read about postpartum blues in the book. Maybe that was why Alisha had had such a vivid nightmare. New mothers were as protective as she-cats, he imagined. And no wonder, after all the hormonal changes and the nurturing feelings pregnancy brought out. Who knew women went through so much to have children? He’d gained a healthy respect for motherhood just from reading the how-to book. And felt a pang of regret that he’d never found the right woman to spend his life with, to make a family with. He’d come close with Meredith, but somehow Jared couldn’t picture sophisticated, worldly Meredith Reynolds as a mother.
Hearing a little whimper from the bassinet, Jared forgot his own regrets and grinned again. “I think Callum might be hungry, too.”
“Oh, hand him to me.” Alisha struggled to a sitting position. “He probably needs changing. There’s some disposable newborn diapers in the closet. A gift from one of the villagers. I plan on using cloth diapers, but those will do for now.”
“Those will come in handy.” Jared reached into the bassinet and carefully lifted the tiny baby out. “Hello there, little fellow. Want to see your mommy?”
Callum smacked his little lips and proceeded to wail even louder.
“I take that as a yes,” Jared said as he brought the baby over to Alisha. “Here you go.” After he’d made sure she had a good grip and was safely settled in, he found the diapers and some wet wipes in the closet and brought both to the bed. “I’ll go find you something to eat, so you can have some privacy. Call if you need anything.”
“I will,” Alisha said, her gaze on her baby. “And Jared?”
He turned at the door, the sight of mother and child taking his breath away. “Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
He nodded, his throat locked up with some emotion he couldn’t identify. It felt both unfamiliar and painful all at the same time. “I’ll go get that soup started.”
Alisha couldn’t stop staring at her baby. He was so pretty, so perfect, so beautiful. A fierce, all-consuming need to love and protect him coursed through her tired body, giving her a new determination and a new surge of energy. That’s why she’d requested some food, even though she wasn’t sure if she could actually eat. She had to be strong for her baby. And that meant taking care of herself. Her nightmare had brought that back full force.
“Mommy is going to take good care of you, too,” she said as she moved a hand over his little arm down to his fingers. The tiny fingers sprang to life at her touch, automatically reaching out to grasp the warmth of her hand. “I love you,” she told the baby. “I know you can’t understand that concept right now, but I love you so very much. Everything I did, everything I had to do, was for you.” She watched his face, seeing shades of his father’s image in the shape of his tiny jaw, in the slant of his eyes. That image brought her both pain and longing. “Things will be different for us, Callum. I promise.”
Things had to be different for them now. They were safe and protected here on Dover Mountain. Secure and isolated, just the way she wanted it. She wouldn’t let dark dreams or unnecessary fears worry her now.
But what about Jared Murdock? a voice in her head shouted. He knows you now. He knows you and Callum.
I have to trust him, Alisha thought, clinging to that one hope. But she needed to be careful, very careful. She was so thankful that Jared had shown up and helped her with this birth. Thankful but wary. Wary, but when she thought about what could have happened if he hadn’t been here last night, Alisha couldn’t help but be grateful.
God had sent Jared for a reason. Alisha didn’t want to question that, but worry and fear pushed at her resolve to be grateful and accept the gift of Jared’s help.
“He won’t be here long,” she whispered in Callum’s ear. “He’ll be long gone soon and he’ll forget all about us, won’t he, little boy?”
Then we can get on with our life together, at last.
Jared would never forget the sight of Alisha holding her baby. As he watched the chicken noodle soup he’d found in an overhead cabinet coming to a boil, he accepted and recognized the foreign feelings that had clogged his throat and left him unable to speak.
Those feelings were regret and loneliness. He regretted that he didn’t have a family to love. He longed for something, someone to make this sorrow in his soul go away. A sorrow he’d only just realized existed underneath his quiet, determined work ethics. A sorrow that had only magnified after his beloved grandfather’s death and Meredith’s betrayal.
All this time, he’d thought he was doing the right thing, working hard day and night. He’d had relationships with women, but they’d been shallow and one-sided, mostly for companionship and show. The last one had ended badly, very badly. He’d almost married Meredith, though. He could have settled down with her, even if he wasn’t so sure he really loved her. But Meredith hadn’t loved him enough and she’d told him that, along with a few other revelations. Jared was still reeling from those revelations and from his partner’s betrayal. Maybe that was why he was feeling so…confused.
Up until this moment, Jared had never needed anything long-term and lasting. He’d always had his work, and he’d had his quiet time with his grandfather. In his mind, he’d pictured a marriage with the woman he thought he was compatible with, but there was no hurry, no urgency. Now even that hope was gone.
Why now, Lord?
Why did he have to wish for things he’d never needed before when his whole world was falling apart around him?
Maybe because his whole world was falling apart? Maybe because he had nothing left to lose, even though he could quite possibly lose so much?
“If I don’t have my work, I have nothing,” he said out loud. Nothing. It was a somber, sobering realization. Nothing but a big pile of old money and even older properties, and a big house that he rarely stayed in since he had a penthouse in the city, things left to him by his wealthy grandfather.
Things. A legacy that he should be proud of. A legacy that had helped him start his own business right out of college. And now, even when that business that he was no longer a part of was being threatened by his partner’s reckless decisions, Jared knew he’d bounce back. He’d walked away from the partnership a very rich man, in spite of Mack’s bold, risky ventures. But selling out hadn’t been about the money. It had been about his pride, plain and simple. Jared had old money to fall back on. But that was all he had now.
He’d told himself getting out while he was ahead was a good thing. He’d be free from the yoke of constant worry, the yoke of having to be responsible for so many people and things. And after the final fight with Mack, after the full betrayal had been disclosed, Jared had wanted nothing more than just to escape.
But now, now he could see so much more clearly. He wanted that sweet picture he’d seen in the bedroom. Mother and child. He didn’t just want to deliver a baby. He wanted to be a father.
The soup hissed and sizzled as it boiled over on the stove. Jared grabbed a potholder and moved the pot away from the flame of the gas burner. The piping-hot soup brought him back to reality. He had to figure out how to get past the last few months of uncertainty and anger, and he had to decide what he was going to do now that he no longer had a company to run. That’s what Jared needed to concentrate on now.
Not some silly notion of a family.
He looked at the windup clock over the stove. Almost ten. Maybe the roads were beginning to dry out a bit. He could go get the doctor at least. It would be good to get out in the crisp, clean mountain air and clear his head.
And his heart.
“The soup was great,” Alisha said later as she shifted on the bed. “I think I should get up and walk around a bit now.”
“I’ll help you,” Jared replied as he hurried across the room. “Do you need to go—”
“Not yet.” She blushed, but managed a smile. “Isn’t it funny, about you and me?”
“Oh, how so?”
Not knowing how to approach the matter, she said, “Well, we’ve been as intimate in some ways as two people can be, and yet, you’re still a stranger to me. Help me up, and then you can tell me all about yourself.”
He nodded. “Okay, but only if you do the same for me.”
Alisha realized her mistake the minute she saw the eager gaze in his dark eyes. She couldn’t tell him about herself. That would be asking for trouble. But even without knowing everything there was to know about Jared Murdock, she knew this one thing. He would want to know. Everything. And she couldn’t tell him anything.
She’d just have to steer the conversation and questions back to him.
Jared pulled back the covers and gave her an arm. “Should I carry you?”
“No, the book—”
“I know, I know. The book says to walk around. But if you’re not able to do that, I can carry you.”
She laughed as she slowly eased her feet to the floor. “What would be the point in trying to walk if you wind up carrying me?”
He gave her a playful look. “I guess that doesn’t make any sense.”
They managed to get her to a standing position. “Whoa. I’m just a bit dizzy.” She held to Jared, acutely aware of the warmth radiating from his touch. “After I walk, I’ll let you drive up the mountain to get the doctor. If you can’t drive it, at least you can walk it in the daylight. It’s about half a mile.” She took a steadying breath. “Most folks will be in church, with it being Easter Sunday. But Dr. Sloane…he doesn’t go to church. You’ll probably find him either in the clinic or at the Hilltop Diner.”
“I’ll get to him, either way,” Jared promised as he eased her along the room. “Want to go into the den and see the yard out the big window?”
She nodded as they slowly made their way up the narrow hallway. When they reached the long, wide den, she took in the room, and felt comforted by what she saw. Jared had straightened things up. The small kitchen lining one wall was sparkling clean, all the mismatched Fiesta-ware dishes placed against the drain and up in the open dish cabinet beside the sink. The crocheted blue-and-brown-patterned afghan she’d knitted years ago was neatly draped over the old patchwork sofa. Her beloved books were stacked in precise rows across the battered old coffee table. A fire was roaring in the fireplace on the far wall, and he’d fixed the door latch. She could still remember hearing the splintering of the wood when he’d crashed through it last night. Thankfully.
Wanting to tell Jared how grateful she was, Alisha debated and decided she’d get too emotional right now if she tried to put her feelings into words. She’d never been good with words, but she’d thank him properly later. So she said, “Oh, that fire feels nice. I see you found the firewood.”
He guided her further into the room. “Yes. Don’t you have any other source of heat?”
“Furnace in the kitchen closet. But I turned off the pilot light since the weather was beginning to warm. Of course, I wasn’t expecting these cooler temperatures the storm brought in.”
“I’ll see if I can relight it so you and the baby will be warm. This should be the last cold snap before spring.”
“I hope so,” Alisha said. “I love spring on this mountain.” She lifted her head to the welcoming fire. “I had the cabin remodeled when I moved in, but there are still some things that need updating.”
“We can certainly agree on that. Why don’t you have a phone?”
Oh, boy. Here he goes with the questions, she thought. What should she tell him? Alisha didn’t like lying, so she decided to tell the truth, but only what he needed to know. “It’s just hard getting service up here. We’re so remote. Getting a phone line almost requires an act of congress.”
That much was true, at least. Of course, she knew the village had most of the modern conveniences, including computers and Internet access, but only a few people living here went all out for that. Alisha wasn’t one of them.
“Well, then we’ll just have to petition Congress,” Jared said. “With a baby, you will definitely need a phone.”
“You’re right. I’ll take care of it as soon as I’m back on my feet and back at work.”
He kept a hand on her arm as they stopped in front of the big bay window that looked out over the front yard. “You work?”
“Yes,” she said, debating how much to tell him while her gaze took in the battered and broken limbs the storm had left all around her yard. “In the village, at the only store in town. Dover Mountain Mini-Mart and Grocery. It’s like a general store—everybody calls it that—or a really small Wal-Mart. We carry a little bit of everything.”
“What do you do there?”
“Whatever Mr. Curtis needs me to do,” she said with a laugh, glad she could tell him that much at least. “I help customers, stock inventory, sell my own homemade jellies and jams and crafts. And bread. I make good bread. There’s some in the cupboard by the refrigerator.”
“Really now? I’ll keep that in mind for lunch.”
She liked the teasing light in his eyes. But she didn’t like the curiosity.
“Tell me about you,” she said by way of changing the subject.
He shrugged, stared out at the dripping trees. “I own—correction—I used to own my own company. Murdock and Purcell Media Consultants. I just sold my half to my partner. He has a new partner already, though.”
Alisha saw the dark light of his eyes. So he didn’t like to talk about himself, either. “What did you do? I mean, who did you consult?”
He smiled then, his rugged features looking younger. “We did the consulting. We had clients who deal in television and radio, the Internet, any form of communication and media. We’d make suggestions to them on everything from advertising to investments.”
“Sounds important.”
He looked down at the African violet she kept on the windowsill. “It was important, to the people who depended on me, and to me.”
“And did you have a lot of people depending on you?”
“Yes.”
