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Patiently, Lindsey held the gauzy fabric beneath the sewing-machine needle, demonstrating how to move the gown without sewing her own fingers. She looked so pretty with her honey hair falling forward, full lips pursed in concentration. He’d been right the first time he’d seen her. Lindsey, beneath her flannel and denim, was very much a woman.
He sipped his cola, wanting to look away, but he couldn’t. Watching Lindsey gave him too much pleasure.
When the seam was sewn, Jade took the scissors and proudly clipped the thread.
“There you go, Miss Angel.” Lindsey held the white flowing garment against Jade’s body. “Perfect fit.”
Jade looked doubtful. “Where’s the wings?”
“We’ll do those after supper. Jesse, if you’ll move the machine, we can set the table.”
“Anything to hurry the food.” He unplugged the old Singer that must have belonged to her grandmother, and hefted it into Lindsey’s spare room.
“Tell me your part again,” Lindsey was saying as he came back into the kitchen.
“Below the angel’s shining light, love was born on Christmas night,” Jade recited, slowly and with expression.
“You’re going to be the very best speaker.” Scooping the remaining materials off the table, Lindsey spoke to Jesse. “Isn’t she, Dad?”
“No doubt about it.” He hooked an arm around Jade’s middle and hoisted her up. Her giggle made him smile. “And the prettiest angel, too.”
“Are you going to come watch me?”
The question caught him by surprise. Slowly, he eased her down into a chair. “Well…I don’t know, Jade. I’m awfully busy here at the tree farm.”
Whipping around, a steaming bowl in one hand, Lindsey refused to let him use that excuse. “We’ll be closed that night.”
Jade was getting too involved with all this Christmas business. Next thing he knew, she’d be talking about Santa Claus and wanting to hang up stockings.
“I’m not much on Christmas programs. You two can go without me.”
Both females looked at him with mild reproach. The room grew deafeningly quiet until only the tick of the furnace was heard.
Finally, Lindsey slapped a loaf of bread onto the table and turned on him. Her golden-brown eyes glowed with a hint of anger. “The program is important to Jade, and you need to be there. You might actually enjoy yourself.”
He doubted that, but he didn’t want Lindsey upset with him again. He was still battling guilt over the last time.
With a defeated sigh, he followed her to the stove, took the green peas from her and carried the bowl to the table.
“All right, Butterbean,” he said, tapping Jade on the nose. “If the tree lot is closed, I’ll be there.”
“Really, Daddy?” The hope in her eyes did him in.
“Really.”
Her beauteous smile lit the room and illuminated his heart.
As he drew his chair up to the table, the familiar gnaw of dread pulled at his stomach. A Christmas program. What had he gotten himself into?
The atmosphere at the Winding Stair Elementary School was one of controlled chaos. After dropping an angelic Jade at her classroom with a gaggle of lambs and ladybugs, Jesse followed Lindsey down the long hall to the auditorium. The noise of a community that knew each other well filled the place with cheer. Everyone they passed spoke to Lindsey and many, recognizing him, stopped to shake his hand and offer greetings.
He hadn’t been to a school Christmas program since he was in grade school himself, but the buzz of excitement was the same.
At the door, a teenage girl in a red Santa hat offered him a program and a huge flirtatious smile.
“Hi, Lindsey,” she said, though her eyelashes fluttered at him. He ignored her, staring ahead at the milieu of country folks gathered in this one place.
Lindsey greeted the girl warmly, then began the slow process of weaving through the crowd toward the seats. She’d been right. The program was a community event. Everyone was dressed up, the scent of recent showers and cologne a testament to the importance of Winding Stair’s Christmas program.
“I think you have an admirer,” Lindsey teased when they were seated.
He knew she meant the teenager at the door, but the idea insulted him. “She’s a kid.”
Lindsey laughed softly. “But she’s not blind or stupid.”
Surprised, he turned in the squeaky auditorium seat. What had she meant by that? But Lindsey had taken a sudden interest in studying the photocopied program.
“Look here.” She pointed. “Jade is on stage for a long time.”
“No kidding?” He looked over her shoulder with interest. The sweet scent of jasmine rose up from the vicinity of her elegant neck and tantalized his senses. From the time she’d climbed into his truck, he’d enjoyed the fragrance, but up close this way was even nicer.
She looked pretty tonight, too. He’d never seen her in a real dress and when she’d opened the front door, he’d lost his breath. Surprise, of course, nothing more. In honor of the occasion, she wore red, a smooth, sweater kind of dress that looked pretty with her honey-colored hair.
The lights flickered, a signal he supposed, for the crowd hushed and settled into their seats. The doors on each side of the auditorium closed and the principal stepped out in front of the blue velvet curtain to welcome everyone.
In moments, the curtains swooshed apart, and Jesse waited eagerly for the moment his baby would come on stage.
The program was festive and colorful and full of exuberant good will if not exceptional talent. Most of the children were animals of some sort and each group sang to the accompaniment of a slightly out-of-tune piano.
When two ladybugs bumped heads, entangling their antenna, Jesse laughed along with the rest of the crowd. A teacher scuttled from backstage, parted the antenna and with a smiling shrug, disappeared again. The children seemed unfazed.
Another time, one of the fireflies dropped his flashlight and the batteries came clattering out. To the delight of the audience, the little boy crawled through legs and around various other insects until he’d retrieved all the scattered parts of his illumination.
Despite his hesitancy to come tonight, Jesse was having a good time. None of the awful, tearing agony of loss overtook him as he’d expected. He had to credit Lindsey and his little angel for that.
“There she is,” Lindsey whispered and pushed at his shoulder as if he couldn’t see for himself the vision moving onto the stage.
Beneath the spotlight, his angel glittered and glowed in the costume Lindsey had so lovingly created. Her halo of tinsel shimmered against the shining raven hair as she bent to hover over the manger. Even from this distance, he could see her squinting into the crowd, looking for him.
In a sweet, bell-like voice, she spoke her lines, and Jesse reacted as if he hadn’t heard them a thousand times in the past two weeks.
“Beneath the angel’s shining light, love was born on Christmas night.”
Tenderness rose in his throat, enough to choke him.
As he watched Jade, angel wings outstretched, join her class in singing “Silent Night,” he thought his heart would burst with pride. Such sweetness. Such beauty. And he’d almost missed it.
Erin should have been here, too.
He waited for the familiar pain to come, and was surprised when it didn’t.
Jade caught sight of him somehow and her entire face brightened. Had she thought he wouldn’t stay?
With a start, he realized how wrong he’d been to let his own loss and pain affect his child’s happiness and wellbeing. Huddled in his darkness, he’d let two years of Jade’s life pass in a blur while he nursed his wounds and felt sorry for himself.
As the program ended and Jade was swept away in the thundering mass of first-graders, Jesse looked down. At some point during the play, he’d taken hold of Lindsey’s hand and pulled it against his thigh. How had that happened? And why didn’t he turn her loose now that the play was over? But with her small fingers wrapped in his, he was reluctant to let her go.
“She was wonderful,” Lindsey said, eyes aglow as she turned to him.
“The best one of all.”
“Of course.” And they both laughed, knowing every parent in the room thought the same thing about his or her own child.
And even though she wasn’t Jade’s parent, Jesse knew Lindsey loved his daughter unreservedly.
Still holding her hand, and bewildered by his own actions, Jesse rose and began the shuffle out of the jammed auditorium and down the hall to the classrooms. There they collected Jade from the rambunctious crowd of first-graders and headed out the exit.
“Excuse me.” A man about Jesse’s age stopped them as they started down the concrete steps. A vague sense of recognition stirred in Jesse’s memory. “I saw you earlier and couldn’t help thinking that I should know you? Did you ever go to school here?”
Jesse stiffened momentarily before forcing his shoulders to relax. No use getting in a panic. Play it cool. “Sorry. I’m a newcomer. Moved here back in October.”
The man tilted his head, frowning. “You sure remind me of a kid I went to junior high with. Aw, but that’s a long time ago.”
“Well, you know what they say,” Jesse shrugged, hoping he sounded more casual than he felt. “Everybody looks like someone.”
“Ain’t that the truth? My wife says I’m starting to resemble my hound dog more and more every day.”
They all laughed, and then using the excuse of the cold wind, Jesse led the way to the truck. He’d been expecting that to happen. Sooner or later, someone was bound to recognize him from junior high school. He glanced at Lindsey as she slid into the pickup. Still smiling and fussing over Jade, she hadn’t seemed to notice anything amiss.
Cranking the engine, he breathed a sigh of relief. That was a close one.
Chapter Ten
“Ice cream, Daddy. Pleeease.” Jade, who’d begged to keep her costume on, bounced in the seat of the Silverado. She was still hyper, wired up from her very first Christmas program. With every bounce, her angel wings batted against Lindsey’s shoulder.
Lindsey awaited Jesse’s reply, hoping he’d see how much Jade needed a few more minutes of reveling in the moment.
Jesse shook his head as he turned on the defrosters. “Too cold for ice cream.”
The three of them had rushed across the schoolyard to the parking lot, eager to escape the cold wind after the brief, but chill-producing delay by the man who’d thought Jesse looked familiar. The truck was running and heat had begun to blow from the vents, but they still shivered.
“Hot fudge will counter the cold,” Lindsey suggested, casting a sideways grin at Jesse. “We gotta celebrate.”
“You’re no help,” he said, rolling his silver eyes. “But if you ladies want ice cream, ice cream you shall have. Let’s head to the Dairy Cup.”
A quiver of satisfaction moved through Lindsey. Jesse had enjoyed tonight, she was certain. But what had really stunned her was when he’d reached over and grasped her hand. For a second, she’d almost forgotten where she was, though she doubted Jesse had meant anything by it. Most likely, he’d reached for her in reaction to Jade’s thrilling grand entrance. Still, those moments of her skin touching his while they shared Jade’s triumph lingered sweetly in her mind.
As the truck rumbled slowly down Main Street, her legs began to thaw.
“I’ll be glad when the weather warms up again,” she said.
Jesse’s wrist relaxed over the top of the steering wheel. “Supposed to tomorrow, isn’t it?”
“Some. But there’s a chance of snow too.”
“Snow!” Jade exclaimed and started bouncing again. “Can we make a snowman?”
Lindsey patted the child’s knee. “Wouldn’t be any fun unless we did.”
Jesse glanced her way. “I have a load of trees to haul to Mena tomorrow. I hope we don’t get snow before that’s done.”
“If it snows, you can’t haul those trees. These mountain roads can be treacherous in snow or ice.”
“Might as well get the job done. I have some other business to take care of in Mena, too.”
His personal business intrigued her, though she would never pry. Several times he’d taken off an afternoon for “business reasons.” And just last Sunday at church someone had mentioned seeing him at the municipal building several times. What kind of business would require so many visits to the courthouse?
“Well, all right, stubborn. I’ll just pray the snow holds off.”
She managed to distract the wiggling Jade by pointing out the Christmas decorations visible everywhere. They drove past closed businesses gaily decorated with white stenciled greetings and flashing red and green lights. Fiber-optic trees rotated in some display windows, and attached to the light posts were giant candy canes that caught the reflection of car lights and wobbled with each gust of wind.
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