скачать книгу бесплатно
“No,” he corrected. “You are going to be Daisy, your own unique, special person, little one. You do not need to copy anyone else.”
“But Selena’s really awesome,” Daisy protested. “She’s already got her first bra.”
Elliott might be able to handle the self-described cougars at the spa and their outrageous comments in relative stride, but he was pretty sure Daisy’s outspoken ways were going to be the death of him. “It’ll be a few years before you need to be thinking about bras, young lady.”
“But Selena says boys only like girls with big boobs,” she parroted, then regarded him with a perplexed expression. “What’s that mean, Elliott? Do you think she’s right?”
“It means Selena needs to get her priorities straight,” he said, resolving to mention just that to his sister. At the very least his niece needed to be more discreet in her conversations with Daisy, who was only nine, for heaven’s sake. She ought to be thinking about dolls, not boys and bras. He had a feeling that was only wishful thinking, unfortunately.
“Can we drive out to McDonald’s again tonight?” Mack pleaded, always eager to head for the fast-food place that had sprung up in the next town a few years back.
Elliott winced. He’d gotten into the bad habit of taking the kids there because it was easier than making a meal they both liked, even though he knew Karen hated them having fast food. It went against his code, as well, but sometimes best intentions got lost to expediency.
“Not tonight, buddy. We’re having spaghetti and salad.”
“But I hate salad,” Mack whined.
“And spaghetti will make me fat,” Daisy said. “Selena said so.”
“Selena doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Elliott said. “And you’ll like this salad, Mack. Your mom made it.”
Mack still didn’t look impressed, but he didn’t argue. And once they were home, he ate both the salad and the spaghetti as if he were starving. Daisy picked at both.
“May I be excused?” she asked eventually. “I have homework.”
“You can be excused, when you’ve finished your dinner,” Elliott said firmly.
“But—”
“You know the rules,” he said. “Mack, do you have homework?”
“Just spelling and math. I did it at Grandma Cruz’s house.”
Elliott had his doubts. “Could I see it, please?”
To his surprise, the math problems were completed and correct. He ran through the spelling words with Mack, who got every one of them right.
“Those were easy,” Daisy said snidely.
“Were not,” Mack said, clearly ready for a fight.
“Enough,” Elliott said, interceding. “Mack, go grab a shower and then you can watch TV for an hour before bed.” He looked at Daisy’s plate, then nodded. “Good job. Finish your homework and then you can take your bath and head for bed.”
“I want to wait up for Mom,” she protested.
“We’ll see,” Elliott told her. “Now, scoot.”
Only after they were both gone did he breathe a sigh of relief. He’d adored Daisy and Mack from the moment he’d gotten involved with Karen, but being a stepfather was still a challenge. Their personalities had already been well-formed when he’d come into their lives, and he still wavered between stern disciplinarian and outsider.
He’d mentioned adopting them early on, but Karen had seemed oddly resistant to the idea, so he’d let it go. He supposed it didn’t really matter, as long as both children knew he loved them as if they were his own. And after some initial hesitation, his mother had welcomed them into her life as full-fledged grandchildren to be enveloped in hugs and fed an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies. His nieces and nephews treated them as cousins. It sometimes seemed he was the only one who felt uncertain about his role in their lives.
Just when he was starting to fret about that yet again, Daisy emerged from her room, walked into the kitchen and threw her arms around him in the kind of impulsive gesture that was increasingly rare now that she was growing up.
“I love you,” she whispered against his chest. “I wish you were my dad.”
Holding her close, Elliott felt his eyes sting with tears. “I am your dad in every way that matters, little one. You can always count on me.”
She gazed up at him with those big eyes of hers. “Will you come to the father-daughter dance at school with me? I wasn’t going to go, because I don’t even know where my dad is, but if you’d come, it would be okay.”
He saw the surprising hint of fear in her eyes and knew she’d wondered if she was overstepping somehow, yet more evidence that even after all this time, their roles weren’t so clearly defined.
“I’d be honored,” he assured her, deeply touched by the invitation.
“Do you think it will be okay with Mom?”
The question gave him pause. He could only assume Karen would be fine with it. Surely she wouldn’t want Daisy to feel left out on such an important occasion.
“I’ll talk it over with her,” he promised. “When is this dance?”
“Next Friday,” Daisy told him. “I have to get a ticket tomorrow.”
“How much do you need?”
“Just ten dollars.”
Elliott gave her the money, then promised, “I’ll speak to your mother tonight.” He studied her expression. “Is that why you wanted to wait up? Did you want to speak to her about this first?”
She nodded. “Sometime she gets sad when I ask about things like this, like she feels bad that she’s disappointed me.” She regarded him earnestly. “But she didn’t. It’s not her fault Daddy went away. And besides, she found you.”
“The next best thing, huh?” he said, a wry note in his voice she probably didn’t understand.
“Not the next best,” she replied, then added adamantly, “The very best.”
And with that, Daisy captured yet another piece of his heart forever.
4
Despite his best intentions, Elliott fell asleep on the sofa before Karen got home from work. In the morning, both he and Karen overslept, and in the ensuing rush to get Daisy and Mack off to school, he never did have a chance to talk to her about Daisy’s school dance. After that, it slipped his mind.
It was two days later, again over a rushed breakfast, when Daisy was the one who mentioned it to her mother.
“I’m going to need a new dress for the dance, Mom,” she said.
Karen regarded her with a perplexed expression. “What dance?”
“The father-daughter dance next Friday.” Daisy turned an accusing look on Elliott. “Didn’t you tell her?”
“Sorry. I forgot,” he admitted, chagrined by the omission. “Your mom and I will talk about it after I drop you and Mack off at school, okay?”
Daisy gave him a panicked look. “But we’re going, right? You promised. I already bought the ticket.”
“We’re going,” he assured her, avoiding Karen’s gaze as he said it.
As soon as he’d driven the kids to school, he returned home to find Karen waiting for him at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in hand and a frown on her face. It was obvious she was ticked off…again.
“Please don’t make too much of this,” he said. “Daisy told me about the dance a couple of nights ago. She was so afraid she wouldn’t be able to go, but I said I’d take her. We both intended to discuss it with you first, but I fell asleep. You didn’t wake me when you came in and I just forgot.”
She sighed. “I see.”
It was evident she was still upset. What he couldn’t be sure about was why. Was it the fact he hadn’t discussed it with her or because he was overstepping by agreeing to go? Too many conversations these days seemed to be minefields for which he held no map.
“Okay, Karen, I can tell you’re not happy about this,” he began. “Does it bother you that I agreed to go to a father-daughter dance with Daisy? Was I out of line to agree?”
She shook her head at once. “Of course not. What bothers me, once again, is that you didn’t mention it to me.”
“I just explained what happened.”
“And I understand how easy it is for things like this to slip through the cracks,” she admitted. “I really do. I don’t know why I let it make me so crazy. It’s a dance, for goodness’ sakes. And I can see how badly she wants to go. Elliott, I’m sorry for turning it into some kind of issue. I really am.”
He watched her closely and, despite the careful words, realized that there was more going on. It finally dawned on him what it was. “This dance involves buying a fancy dress,” he said with sudden understanding. “A dress that’s not really in our budget.”
She nodded. “That’s definitely part of it. I know the whole money thing worries me way too much, Elliott. You’re nothing like Ray. We’ve even been able to save for a baby, but the dress on top of the whole gym thing? It’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess it’s just a knee-jerk reaction, but I don’t know how to respond any differently when these unexpected expenses come up. Panic just crawls up the back of my throat and I can’t seem to stop it.”
Though money had never been plentiful in his own family, Elliott and his sisters had never wanted for anything. It was harder for him to grasp just how terrible things had been for Karen, especially after Ray had walked out on her. She’d been in danger of being evicted from her apartment more than once, in danger of being fired from Sullivan’s because she’d had to bail on her job too frequently due to crises with the kids that she’d been left alone to handle. Because of the debt Ray had left behind, she’d teetered at the edge of bankruptcy. It had taken all of her emotional resources and her energy to avoid it.
When they’d married, she’d insisted they plan their combined budget down to the penny and obsessed over every expense that had exceeded their projections. He understood her need to feel in control, but he also understood that with kids they needed wiggle room for things like this dance.
“We have a contingency fund,” he reminded her.
“For emergencies, not a dress.”
“For Daisy this amounts to an emergency,” he said reasonably. “Going to this dance really matters to her. It’s not about a party. It’s about having a dad.”
Karen met his gaze, looking chagrined. “I know you’re right.”
He was struck by a compromise. “Why don’t I ask Adelia if Selena has some party dresses she’s outgrown?” he suggested. “That child has a wardrobe fit for a princess. Since Daisy idolizes her, maybe she won’t feel as if she’s being given a hand-me-down dress. What do you think?”
Karen’s expression immediately brightened. “That’s perfect.”
“You don’t think Daisy will be disappointed about not going to shop for a dress with you?” he asked.
“Maybe a little,” she admitted. “And so will I, but this is the way it needs to be. Check with Adelia and see what she says.”
“Will do,” he promised, dropping a kiss onto her forehead. “One more crisis averted.”
“Do you think there will ever be a day when there isn’t one?” she inquired plaintively.
“With two kids and the hope for more, it’s not likely,” he told her candidly. “But life is unpredictable. That’s what keeps it interesting.”
She laughed. “Sometimes I’d like things to be a little less interesting.”
“Why don’t we talk about that over dinner tomorrow? Something simple that won’t break the bank,” he suggested impulsively. “I can give Frances a call, see if she’s available. How about you? Are you off?”
She nodded. “As far as I know.”
“Then it’s a plan,” he said. “Love you.”
She smiled as he kissed her. “Love you, too.”
He was counting on that love to help them weather these rough patches. Big or small, it didn’t seem to matter, because each one was a test, and he intended to see to it that they passed. Anything less was unacceptable.
* * *
Frances had been delighted when Elliott had called to ask her to sit with Daisy and Mack. These days any distraction was a good one. She hadn’t been able to push the whole conversation with Liz and Flo out of her mind for long. She had, however, successfully avoided making that call for an appointment with her doctor. Each time one of them reminded her of her promise, she brushed them off. She was feeling just fine now, and there hadn’t been any more disturbing incidents. She convinced herself they were all worrying over nothing.
She did, however, ask Elliott to pick her up. “I don’t much like driving at night anymore,” she confessed. Left unsaid was the fact that she found the new suburban neighborhood just outside of Serenity where they’d bought their small home confusing with its many cul-de-sacs. It was difficult enough to navigate in the daytime. At night, for anyone unfamiliar with the street names, it was impossible.
She was ready for him when he arrived, a box of freshly baked cookies in her hands. Elliott smiled when he saw them.
“You do know their mother’s a chef, don’t you?” he teased.
“And when was the last time she had the time to bake cookies at home?” Frances replied. “I know your mother probably has a batch ready for them after school, but Daisy and Mack love my oatmeal-raisin cookies.”
“So do I,” Elliott said, giving her a wink. “Last time you sent them over, I gained two pounds.”
She gave him a wry look. “Two pounds? Lucky you. I usually gain five if I don’t ration them out.”
“The kids are really looking forward to seeing you tonight,” he told her. “And Karen and I are incredibly grateful that you’re willing to sit with them for a couple of hours.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she assured him. “I miss them. Just be sure to fill me in on the rules, so I don’t let them get away with any mischief. I haven’t forgotten how sneaky children that age can be. They tend to torment substitute teachers and babysitters by trying to stretch the boundaries.”
“As if you’re ever likely to let them get away with that,” he teased. “I know your reputation. You’re probably a better disciplinarian than either one of us.”
“That was a long time ago. I’m a softie now,” she said. “Especially when it comes to those two.” She sighed. “They’re getting so big. I remember when Karen first moved in across the hall. They were little more than babies. Times were so tough for her then.”
“And you were a godsend,” he said. “I’m not sure how she would have managed without you. Seems to me, you’re rushing back to our rescue now.”
Frances regarded him curiously. “Are things still not quite right, then?”
“Mostly they’re fine,” he said at once. “We’re adjusting, that’s all.”
“You do realize that’s what marriage takes, don’t you? You have to constantly adjust as your family grows and priorities change. Being rigid can be the kiss of death.”
“I wish Karen understood that,” he said. “I understand why she feels the need to keep such a tight rein on expenses and such. I don’t even disagree. I just see her worrying herself sick over every dime, and I don’t know how to reassure her that we’re in good shape. She sees the bank statements and writes the checks, same as I do, so she knows that.”
“Knowing it intellectually and coming from the emotional place she’s been are two different things,” Frances reminded him. “Cut her a little slack. Every month that the bills are paid and you’re all fed and happy will reassure her. The fact that you understand why she worries will help you keep this in perspective. It would be a shame if her past caused problems for you in the present.”
“I won’t let that happen,” Elliott vowed as he pulled into the driveway.
