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“Because he’s a grown-up and I can’t boss him around,” the housekeeper said.
“You can’t boss me around, either,” Tess said. “I’m not your kid.”
“No, niña, but you are my responsibility, and I will see that you do right, because that is what your father would have wanted.”
“Some father,” Tess muttered. “He didn’t even know I existed till I showed up here. I guess he and my mom weren’t real close.”
Jake caught Mrs. Gomez’s helpless look and stepped in. “He was here for you when it counted, wasn’t he? He took you in, made a home for you. The last few months haven’t been so bad, have they?”
Her bright green eyes shimmered with tears, reminding him of another little girl, another time. Tess’s lower lip trembled, but that O’Rourke chin jutted defiantly.
“Fat lot of good that does me now,” she declared. “He’s dead and I ain’t staying here with her.” She nodded toward the door to indicate the absent Megan, no doubt.
“I will be here, too,” Mrs. Gomez promised. “We will all get along just fine.”
“And I’ll be around,” Jake added.
“Over my dead body,” Megan retorted, striding into the room and heading straight for Mrs. Gomez, who opened her arms wide to embrace her.
“Ah, niña, it is good to have you home, but not so good that it is under these circumstances,” the housekeeper said. She tucked a finger under Megan’s chin and looked her in the eye. “You are holding up okay? Shall I fix you some tea? I have all of your favorites—raspberry, orange spice, whatever you like.”
Jake detected a hint of puffiness under Megan’s eyes and guessed she’d indulged in a good cry upstairs, where it could be done without witnesses. That had always been her way, ingrained in her by Tex, no doubt. Tex had been critical of emotional displays. Jake had seen Meggie swallow back tears no matter how much pain she might have been in, physical or emotional.
“I’m fine,” Megan insisted. Like Jake, she reached for a cookie and bit into it, oblivious to Tess’s expression of disgust.
“Geez-oh-flip, does everybody get to break rules around this place but me?” Tess demanded, scraping her chair away from the table. She shoved open the back door and disappeared into the gathering darkness.
“She does not have her coat,” Mrs. Gomez said worriedly, moving toward the hook by the door where the red, down-filled jacket hung. “It is too cold for her to be outside.”
“I’ll go,” Jake said, his hand on her shoulder. “You stay here with Megan.”
Glad of an excuse to escape the restlessness that seeing Meggie stirred in him, he grabbed Tess’s coat from the hook and flipped on an outdoor light as he went out. He spotted the child racing toward the barn, ducking into shadows. He suspected the new litter of kittens he’d heard about was at least part of the reason for her destination.
Sure enough, he found her kneeling beside a box that had been lined with an old flannel shirt, one of Tex’s favorites, if Jake wasn’t mistaken. He wondered if it had been confiscated for this particular duty before or after his death. Jake grinned at the sight of orange-and-white balls of fluff tumbling around inside the box, scrambling to get to their mama’s milk.
“They’re getting big,” he observed, hunkering down beside Tess. “Do you have a favorite?”
“Not really,” she said, but her gaze was fixed on the runt of the litter, who couldn’t seem to squeeze in to feed.
Jake reached down, picked the littlest kitten up and made room for it. “Looks like this one needs some extra attention,” he said, thinking it was a lot like Tess herself. Megan, too, though she would have hated the comparison.
“I suppose.”
“Maybe you should consider adopting it and taking it inside. It’s big enough now, especially if you bottle-fed it for a couple of weeks.”
“I can’t,” she said, though her expression was wistful.
“How come?”
“Tex said.”
“Did he say why?”
“He said he wasn’t having some damned cat bringing in fleas and tearing up the furniture.”
Jake held back a grin. He had a hunch she’d nailed the old man’s exact words. “You know what I think?”
“What?”
“That if Tex could see how lonely you’ve been feeling the last day or so, he’d change his mind.”
Her face brightened. “Do you think so?”
“I know so,” Jake insisted, because there wasn’t a chance in hell the old man could contradict him. Tess needed something weaker and needier to tend to right now. He doubted Mrs. Gomez would have any objections. He knew for a fact there were cats crawling all over her own house. She took in every stray that ever came to the door, him included. On more than one occasion, she’d been the one he’d run to when he couldn’t bear one more night in the same house with his mother and her “gentlemen callers.”
He glanced up from the kittens and caught Tess studying him intently.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“Is she going to keep me?”
“You mean Megan?”
Tess nodded, her expression bleak. “I don’t think she likes me much.”
“You just took her by surprise, that’s all. No one had told her about you.”
“Well, having her come busting in here like she owns the place ain’t no picnic for me, either.”
“She does own the place,” Jake pointed out gently.
“Then how come she doesn’t live here?”
“Because she’s got a job in New York.”
“That TV show,” Tess said, feigning disinterest despite the spark of fascination that lit her eyes. “Tex used to watch it sometimes. He didn’t think I knew that, but I did. Sometimes I’d hide out in his office behind that big old chair of his. Right after dinner, he’d come in there, put in the tape and watch, muttering to himself.”
“Ever hear what he said?”
“That it was damned fool nonsense,” she quoted, probably precisely. “You know what I think, though?”
“What?”
“That he was real proud of her. He never looked at me the way he looked at that show of hers.” Her lower lip trembled. “I don’t think he gave a damn about me at all.”
Ignoring the substance of the remark for the moment, he chided, “You know, kiddo, you really do need to clean up your language. Ladies don’t swear half as much as you do.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be no lady.”
Jake grinned at the defiance. “What do you want to be?”
Her expression brightened. “A rancher, just like Tex,” she said decisively. “Then I could boss people around and make lots of money and ride horses.” She met Jake’s gaze. “He was teaching me to ride. Did you know that? That’s when it happened. He fell right down on the ground. I screamed and screamed for somebody to come, but it took forever. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve seen that CPR stuff on TV, but I didn’t know how to do it. Not the right way, anyway. I tried and tried, but nothing helped.”
Sobs shook her shoulders. “I didn’t mean for him to die,” she whispered brokenly, launching herself at Jake. Her skinny little arms wound so tightly around his neck that he could scarcely breathe. “Sometimes I said I hated him and sometimes I said I wished he were dead, but I never meant it. Never.”
“Oh, baby, I know that,” Jake soothed, feeling totally out of his depth. “Tex was sick. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But if I hadn’t come, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten sick.”
“No. That’s not the way it works. He’d been sick for a while. He told me that himself. His heart just gave up. It could have happened anytime. I promise you, you had nothing to do with it.”
Slowly Tess’s sobs subsided. She sniffed, accepted Jake’s handkerchief and blew her nose. She blinked away the last of the tears and regarded him evenly. “I got an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m thinking I should come and live with you.”
Jake realized he had walked right smack into that one. He’d made it a point to spend time with Tess the past couple of weeks, anticipating what might happen, knowing the kid would need a friend until she adjusted to all the upheaval.
Not that seeing Tess had been any sacrifice. She was bright and funny, and she did have a mouth on her. She didn’t like him, didn’t trust him and had no qualms about telling him just that. Jake had overlooked it all and stayed the course. The fact that she was willing to turn to him now proved he’d done the right thing. With persistence, he’d slipped past her defenses. It was critical to tred carefully.
He took her hands in his and kept his gaze on her face. “Honey, you know that’s not possible. I explained it to you before. Tex named Megan your legal guardian in case anything happened to him.”
“But she doesn’t want me,” Tess said, wrenching herself free. Hands on hips, she faced him. “You know she doesn’t. I’ll mess up her life.”
“It’s going to take a little time for her to get used to the idea, just the way it took time for you to get used to being here with Tex. Everybody’s real upset about Tex right now. I told you before, I’ll be around. You can come to me with any problem, but you can’t live with me.”
“Then I’ll go find my mom.”
Jake had anticipated that sooner or later that thought would occur to her. Rather than squashing the notion outright, he asked quietly, “Any idea where she is?”
“No, but I can find her. I’ll just ask a lot of questions till somebody tells me. She’s probably back in Laramie. That’s where we lived before she brought me here.”
Jake knew better. He’d searched Laramie for some trace of Tess’s mother himself. “Honey, she’s probably moved on.”
“I can find her. I know it.”
“Tell me something,” Jake said. “Do you study geography in school?”
“Sure.”
“Then you know it’s a big country. Your mom could be anywhere.”
She stared at him, then. A look of utter defeat crossed her face. “It could take forever, then, couldn’t it?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“It’s not fair,” she whispered. “Nothing’s fair.”
“No,” he said gently. “There’s nothing fair about losing your dad almost before you really got a chance to know him. There’s nothing fair about your mama running out on you. But it is going to work out, Tess. I swear to you. Megan’s got a good heart. You’ll get along well enough.”
“You can’t make her care about me,” she said, with the weary resignation of someone who’d learned too early that love was never a guarantee, not even from a parent.
“I can’t make her, no, but she will, honey. I know she will.” If he had to hog-tie her and explain a few facts of life, Megan O’Rourke would do right by this child. Just as Tex had predicted, Jake would enjoy every single minute of seeing to it.
If it had been up to Megan, Tex’s funeral would have been private. It was Jake who handed her a letter with Tex’s wishes spelled out. He wanted something lavish, even though he hadn’t set foot inside of a church in years.
“The service isn’t for me. I’ll already be wherever I’m heading,” he’d written. “It’s for you, Megan. I want you to be surrounded by the steady, solid folks around here. Maybe it’ll help you to remember what it’s like to have friends who can share your grief, who’ll be there for you and expect nothing in return. Seems to me like you’ve accumulated enough of the other kind in New York.”
She sighed at his words. Leave it to Tex to take a dig at her life-style while laying out his own funeral arrangements. She forced herself to read on.
“After all the hoopla’s over, bury me quietly on that rise overlooking the creek,” he’d instructed. “I’ve already made arrangements for my tombstone. It’s nothing fancy, so don’t you go adding any flowery sentiments to it. Plain and simple will do me just fine.”
When she’d finished reading, she folded the letter precisely and tucked it back into the plain white envelope with her name scrawled across the front in Tex’s careless script.
“I suppose you know what it says,” she said to Jake, irritated that he’d been taken into her grandfather’s confidence when she had not.
“The gist of it,” he agreed. “Obviously, the details are up to you, but he made his feelings known.”
“And, of course, I’ll do as he asked,” she said wearily.
Jake studied her intently. “About everything?”
“You’re talking about Tess, aren’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Jake, I can’t think about that now. I really can’t. I’m feeling…” Her voice trailed off and she held up her hands in a rare gesture of helplessness.
“Lost? Overwhelmed? Angry?” he supplied.
She caught herself wanting to smile at the litany, which was eerily accurate, reminiscent of a time when Jake had read her mind with ease. “Pretty much,” she admitted.
“Some of this you’ll have to handle yourself, but in terms of the funeral, if you’re agreeable to what Tex wanted, you can sit back and leave the rest to me,” Jake offered. “I’ll make the arrangements for the service and the burial.”
She balked at letting him take on that task. Duty came to mind again. “It’s my responsibility.”
He shook his head and grinned. “Ah, Meggie, you never did know when to let go, did you? I’m surprised you haven’t gone up in flames with all that’s on your plate in New York. Do you trust anyone to handle even the tiniest detail?”
She thought of Todd and his incredible efficiency. “Of course,” she snapped.
Jake’s steady gaze was skeptical. “Really?”
Okay, she admitted to herself, the truth was that not much got past without her final approval. Her staff sometimes chafed at the lack of faith, but she reminded them repeatedly that it was her name on the magazine, her image on the television screen, her reputation on the line. Admitting any of that to Jake, though, was not an option.
“It’s a funeral, not a presidential inauguration. I can handle it,” she informed him. “I’ll be sure and call your office when the time is set.”
