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Oh, God!
Her skin paled beneath its tan, washed with gray from head to toe, her huge, dark-lashed eyes suddenly great sinking navy pools in her horrified face. Suddenly she didn’t want to stay around the dime-tossing stranger any longer. Just in case. Her heart stopped beating for a brief moment as the ground seemed to heave beneath her feet and she tried to steady herself.
It could well be Giovanni.
Hazily she focused on the feet, the legs, the dancer-slim hips. It couldn’t be. No, some other guy. Why had she thought of Gio? Her intuition had gone crazy. He could never afford to rent a Lamborghini, let alone buy one. Surely… She swallowed. No man in his position would want to come back. The shame, the accusing stares, the stony silence from everyone would be unbearable for him.
Yet there was the familiar thud in her chest that came when Giovanni was close, the melting of her body into a molten heap, ready to erupt when he touched her, spoke, fixed her with his brooding, heavy-lidded eyes.
Since his departure so long ago, nothing had changed the way she felt deep inside. A crowd of guys had dated her; a few had kissed her. She scowled, firmly pushing back the inevitable thought that none of them had taken her all the way to heaven the way Giovanni had.
Perhaps it was just as well. The lush red of her lips parted in a grimace of pain. Never again in her entire life did she want to feel that she was dying inside because of a man’s rejection and his casual betrayal. Or to realize that the man she’d loved was without honor or backbone. No wonder Gio’s adoring parents had disowned him!
She inhaled sharply, slamming the door on a pain ten years old. That was how you dealt with tragedy; when it was too huge, too hurtful to cope with, you eliminated it from your mind and threw yourself into work one hundred percent and made some kind of a life for yourself.
Her mouth trembled. Every now and then, a word, a gesture, the angle of a jaw or a word spoken on the television, caused her to learn the cruel lesson that her love for Giovanni had never faded; it was merely suppressed. Which made her a mindless fool, because only a mindless fool carried a torch for a cheat and a liar.
Men like Gio were virtually programmed to build up a woman’s hopes, to deceive and disappoint—then to vanish. He was a coward. No, worse than that, she thought unhappily. Much worse. As bad as a man could be.
She pressed a trembling hand against the cerulean blue of her T-shirt. Beneath her soft breath, her heart beat in an alarmingly erratic rhythm.
“Miss Murphy? You okay?”
“I…oh, too many waffles for breakfast,” she told Brad, taking a quick gulp of oxygen to fill her crushed lungs. “I’ll give the pecs a miss. They’re a dime a dozen now that everyone works out,” she continued hurriedly. “Ask him if they do Countachs in a ragtop!” Her attempt to sound casual began to fall apart. The feet and legs had edged forward ultraslowly, and the beefy torso was being revealed in all its masculine glory. Giovanni, her brain told her. “Have fun, you guys! Gotta go!” She whirled around, striding fast as a whippet toward the street.
To her acutely tuned ears came the rasping sound of trolley wheels on the clamshells. She hastily flung open the drunken gate and strode onto the sidewalk. “There’s no earthly reason that it should be him!” she muttered to herself. “None at all—”
“Teeenaaa!”
“Ohhhh!” she gasped.
Quickening her pace, she pretended she didn’t recognize the rich, rolling, elaborately drawn-out extension of the syllables of her name. But no one in the world except Giovanni had the ability to caress even the most ordinary word. Those lilting cadences, a rough edge and an Italian’s way with women had given him advantages over other men, and the easily won adoration had flawed him fatally. Women came willingly to his arms, she thought, sick at heart.
“Teeenaaa!”
Grim faced, she faked deafness and forged on till a painfully remembered musical whistle stopped her as dead as if she’d hit a brick wall. Their call!
Their secret call, when they’d needed one another. How could he? How could he? Emotions coursed through her in destructive waves. Love. Regret. Shame. Anger. And contempt by the bucket. Too much to cope with. Tina got her leaden feet working again, her mind still in turmoil. Giovanni! Not in a million years had she expected to see him again—or ever wanted to!
Why had he come? Her dazed mind whirled, seeking an explanation for his hiring an ostentatious car when it was unlikely he could afford such extravagances. He’d never made it to college, and there’d been that period in… Tina’s white teeth savaged her lower lip as she fought to keep her emotions under control. Jail. She’d said it. Jail had taken up two years of his life. Not much opportunity to make money with that track record.
Reluctantly she faced the truth she’d been avoiding. He’d sworn he’d return one day—and make everyone sit up and take notice.
An image burned itself in her mind. She closed her eyes briefly in anguish, but the image was even clearer, and when she snapped them open again he was still there—in court, just after the sentence had been read, his eyes flickering in malediction between her and her once-dear friend Beth, because they’d provided the evidence that had damned him.
“I’ll be back!” he’d yelled across the courtroom, her heart breaking at the way he’d struggled with the restraining officer. The hurt racked through her now and then; Gio had protested his innocence to the last and never admitted his guilt. “I swear to God you’ll all know when I’ve hit town!”
Ashen faced, Tina stepped up her pace, driving her wobbling legs toward the café a few hundred yards down the street. She wished it wasn’t Saturday, because only a handful of people were stirring—mainly students and those like herself who’d become accustomed to getting up for school at seven-thirty. She wanted crowds. The safety of numbers and friendly faces because that day in court was one she wanted to forget forever. And suddenly it was here and now, and she couldn’t bear it.
The whistle sounded again, louder, more imperious, as though she’d turn and run to him like some obedient dog. Her heart tripped a beat. He’d called her a bitch of the first order, his eyes glittering with hatred, the promise of retribution in every inch of his powerful body.
Sicilian vengeance. Cold, calculated, final.
And now he was here. Giovanni, having been brought up a Sicilian half his life, would be nursing a grudge he would take to the grave if it wasn’t satisfied. The past swept relentlessly into the present: everything she’d seen and felt that day in court, Gio’s black malevolent eyes, staring, condemning, the nervous sips she’d taken of the water they’d given her when her voice had failed, the physical sickness….
The wave of nausea now made her stumble. Hot, sweating, she recovered, thrust her hand through her hair and plunged blindly on. She’d gotten to the bank. Nearly up to the bridge, the café, the haven that lay inside.
By the time she crested the old bridge she was out of breath and could feel his presence close behind her like an evil force. Suddenly her legs lost their ability to move and her feet just gave up. She hung on to the parapet wall and looked down at her legs in bewilderment, willing them to obey her. Failing.
“Ciao, Tina,” Giovanni murmured, so softly, so slowly it could break a woman’s heart. “Ciao.”
Small flurries of nerves rippled right down to her bare and wriggling toes. The punch of pure delight had knocked her brain away and left space for her sensuality to flow unheeded. Her small hands screwed into tight hurting balls, because the old magic was still there despite everything he’d done, and her whole emotional inner world had roared into life. Tina gritted her teeth against the long-forgotten ability of her brain and physical body to melt when his voice caressed her in that sexy indolent way. It was nothing but a memory quirk. A cruel reflex action.
“Arrivederci!” she flung behind her shakily.
“Turn around, Tina. Allora, turn to me.”
The warm, languid and silken voice slid over her shoulder, shivering up her sensitive neck and then crawling over every inch of her body. And the memories flooded back like the remorseless tide, washing away all her flimsy barriers and leaving her stranded, high and dry, with only one focus. Giovanni.
Weakly she lifted her face to the early-morning warmth of the sun, and she could almost feel his firm dreamy mouth on hers, teaching her how to kiss, how to enjoy her body without shame. Dark with anger, her eyes narrowed. Of course he’d taught her that! Look what he’d gotten in return!
“I don’t want to see you. Or speak to you,” she said huskily. “I’m on my way to the café.” She was afraid, unwilling to look him in the eye. This was the man she’d loved, ached for. Betrayed.
“You might as well face me,” he drawled. “You can’t run from your mistakes forever.”
Stunned, she whirled around, every inch of her quivering with the injustice of his remark, her Irish temper flaring as she tasted in her throat the bitterness of her error in giving her love to a sham.
“You were my mistake, Gio! You were a mistake!” she cried incoherently. “It was a mistake that you were ever born!” With that, her hand swept up and connected with his sardonic mocking face in a resounding crack that went right through her, shuddering down into her bones. She uttered one strangled broken cry of horrified remorse and turned, planning to run, her mind reeling from the terrible image of Giovanni’s savage mouth, his malefic eyes, her fingers tingling from the electric sensation when they’d connected with warm satin skin clothing the rock of his jaw.
A huge hand closed on her slender arm, stopping her with its crushing force before she’d taken one faltering step. “That slap, Tina,” he said with a dangerous softness, “was your mistake.”
“Take your hand off me!” she said jerkily. Being touched by him was a shock. They were joined again, the tension between them firing her with a sensation of uncontainable volcanic energy. Appalled, she tugged at his hand, but it only tightened, drawing her closer, and she knew with sinking heart that she’d have to look in his accusing eyes again and face the situation.
She could deal with this. She wasn’t a guileless teenager any longer. She had a track record of dealing with trouble. Anyone who could handle unwanted pregnancies, knife fights and anxious parents could pull herself together and show a bit of cool in a crisis.
This was nothing, she told herself, but knew she lied, because she was emotionally involved and it wasn’t the same at all.
“I won’t release you yet. First, I have something for you, Tina,” he muttered. And he twisted her around, impaling her with his black, black eyes.
The white imprint of her hand flared accusingly against the dark gold of his skin, and she stared at the mark of her contempt as if hypnotized by it.
“You have nothing for me,” she said in a low tone.
He had changed. Bigger, harder, with a hatred that lay cold as ice in the cruel eyes. Yet whatever the hardships he’d suffered, there was still that stomach-clenching impact of stunning good looks. Blond hair on a dark-skinned Sicilian had thrown a curve at women of all tastes and ages, and she’d never been immune. Her mouth trembled with a soft exhalation.
“I have,” he murmured. “More than you think.”
“Only memories, Giovanni,” she replied quietly.
The songs they’d sung on clambakes, the trips down the Sussex River in a flat-bottomed boat, the lazy days building sand castles on Neck Beck. The laughter. The affection. Licking each other’s sticky fingers—and then the doughnut sugar off Giovanni’s lips…
Tina drew in a quick breath, her expression guilty because she’d become aware that she was being watched by a pair of melting eyes that gleamed like deep shaded water—black, still and fathomless—and the mark on his face had grown into an angry red. His expression chilled her to the bone.
“Done all the checking you’re going to do?” he murmured sardonically. “Have I changed so much?”
She shrugged and pretended that was what she was still doing, quite surprised at his sophistication and casually elegant clothes. Yet in the rawness of his wicked eyes lay hints of that exciting rough edge of danger, which also touched his carnal mouth and made her think carnal thoughts.
“Little change,” she said huskily. “You still have the arrogance to imagine women will come whenever you call.” Her head lifted in defiance. “Let me go, or I’m going to scream.”
His eyes narrowed. The steady pull of his hand brought her close enough to feel his hot breath flaming her hot skin. His finger had delicately scooped up a bead of sweat from her forehead and transferred it to his tongue before she could blink. But the effect devastated her; all the sensual pleasures they’d enjoyed had turned her into a voluptuary, and that one small gesture filled her body with a terrible ache. He smiled with triumph when she remained mute, nursing her desolation.
“I need five minutes of your time,” he said, his black eyes unreadable. “Nothing more. Yet.”
Five minutes. She could survive that and wipe him from her life again. “What do you want?” she demanded shortly.
The extravagant mouth eased into a cynical smile. “You left these behind just now. They’re yours. Multiply them by ten,” he drawled, “and you get thirty pieces of silver.”
And before she knew what he intended, he’d reached out and pulled forward the neck of her thin T-shirt with a disdainful thumb and forefinger, audaciously dumping the three dimes into the gap. They lay stuck to her sweating breasts and stomach, dust and dirt and bits of clamshell and all.
“You brute!” she gasped in red-faced outrage as he calmly dusted off his hands and wiped them on an immaculate navy silk handkerchief. “You’ve made me feel dirty inside!”
The corners of his mouth swooped downward in scorn and he tucked the handkerchief back in his jacket pocket. “But, Tina,” he demurred, “I thought you were already dirty inside.”
She winced. “I’m clean scrubbed,” she said tightly, easing her top from the waistband of her shorts and letting the coins fall to the ground. Then she concentrated on trying to dislodge the bits from her stomach by rubbing vigorously—till she realized from the breathless silence, and then his frowning stare, what the movement was doing to her unsupported breasts.
“You look pretty pure,” he conceded laconically. “But there’s no honor or loyalty in there.” His scornful finger stabbed the air, pointing at her heart. “And when you drop the demure act, we get the truth. A woman driven by sex who’s only too ready to launch into a display of erotic originality.”
Tina was momentarily lost for words. Slowly her expressive eyes widened, their color first pale, then becoming almost navy as her emotions changed from shock to shame and then to outrage.
“Hypocrite!” she said bitterly. “I thought that we had a loving relationship and that our lovemaking was the natural consequence of our affection. I wasn’t ashamed of sharing my body with you—then. I am deeply shamed by it now!” she said shakily. “I trusted you with my most precious secrets…and you tricked me! All my life I’ll resent you for taking my innocence and betraying it when it had been so gladly, so devotedly given as a gift for the man I loved!”
“Do you hold me solely responsible for your seduction?” he drawled.
Tina lowered her head. She blamed herself for trusting him. “I—I was innocent and I didn’t know I was…”
“Getting me beyond the point of no return?” he suggested. “So was I to blame for finding you irresistible, or were you to blame for not realizing how naive and provocative your behavior was to a teenager with Sicilian blood?”
“We were both to blame,” she said quietly.
“Progress at last,” he mocked. “There’s always shared blame, Tina. Remember that. Hold it in your beautiful head and think about it. And remember we were in love,” he said softly, as though remembering with pleasure. ”Love.”
Heat scoured through her, head to toe, making her skin prickle. Shaken by the warmth in his voice, the lyrical indolence that cruelly brought back the soft nights beneath the stars and the moonlight gleaming on their naked skin, she let her thick black lashes hide the desolate expression in her eyes. If only she’d never let him arouse her to that fateful point of no return! It had been such a corny error to make after hearing the magic words, I love you. He loved himself. Sex. Her teeth snagged at her lip, stilling its tremble.
“Take the coins,” he said tightly. “They represent your betrayal,” he said, slivers of steel behind each carefully enunciated word.
She winced. “What did you want me to do in court? Stay silent? Perjure myself?” she asked, her voice husky with emotion, because she’d considered those options but obeyed her conscience.
“I wanted you to believe me,” he replied quietly.
“It wasn’t possible!” she cried irritably. “I know what I saw. Please, Gio. Don’t let’s go over it again. It was bad enough the first time. What benefit is there in raking up the past and accusing one another? Let it be!” she pleaded.
“I can’t.” He seemed unaware that his hands were lightly sweeping up and down her bare arms. His eyes impaled hers, blazing a message she didn’t understand. “I wish I could walk away right now,” he said huskily. “But the memories have drawn me back, and I can’t escape them any longer.”
Nor could she. All she could think of right now was what it would be like to be in his embrace again, clasped to the big curves of his muscular body. She felt a flash of fire deep within her slumbering core, and she tensed, her hands curling like claws to stop her maverick fingers from humiliating her by touching him. He had to go. Now, before she said or did something she’d regret for the rest of her life. She had regrets enough.
“You must leave town,” she said flatly. “Or…”
“Or what?” he murmured. “You’ll call the police and claim I harassed you?”
“I don’t want to, Gio. But push me and I might,” she muttered.
“I’d be arrested.”
Her head tipped high. “Not if you left,” she pointed out.
“You’d get me into trouble again just because you can’t cope with your own sexual response to me?” he asked in clipped tones. “Like the last time?”
He showed no shame, no guilt, no recognition that he’d been in the wrong. Tina felt the color in her face drain away, the beat of her pulse ticking like a time bomb.
“The evidence was overwhelming,” she rasped. “You drove your car on the night of the accident. You kept denying it and you’re still stubbornly denying it, but I saw you and so did dozens of others, and there is no doubt in my mind that you drove the car that…that…” She choked, but forced herself to say it, however much it hurt. “That killed my sister—and her baby!” she finished hoarsely.
And she felt her heart jerk in pain, remembering the last time she’d seen her sister, Sue, and her baby, Michael, alive—she and Sue splattered with apple-and-banana puree, laughing fondly at little Mikey’s determined attempts to feed himself. A sob rose in her throat, choking her, and she gritted her teeth to hold back the threatening tears.
Gio’s lips had whitened in anger. “How could you believe that? I’ll never understand….” he said, shaking his head.
“Beth said—” she began miserably.
“Didn’t it matter what I had to say?” he asked roughly. “Wasn’t I owed any loyalty? I was your lover. You were supposed to be in love with me and I deserved a hearing. You gave me none! How do you think I felt when you abandoned me?”
“I’m asking you for the last time. Leave me in peace!” she moaned.
“Peace? Il quieto vivere? I wish to God I had peace in my life! If only you had believed me, I could have survived anything!” he said bitterly. “But no, you blanked out everything we’d been to one another, all knowledge of my feelings about honor and life and women, and descended into behaving like a petulant bitch who’s been denied the dog she wants!”
She snatched breath from somewhere, her huge eyes dark with pain. Giovanni and Beth. Her lover and her best friend. That had been hard enough to take, seeing them together that night. Worse was seeing the two smashed cars and knowing that each contained someone she loved.
She put her hands over her ears, wishing she could shut out forever the sound of Beth screaming that awful night of the accident, hating the memory of the white-faced Giovanni shaking Beth violently and snarling at her to shut up before he reversed his car away from Sue’s.
He had changed. There was no gentleness in him at all now. And she shuddered, wondering what two years in prison could do to an eighteen-year-old who’d loved his family and life with a wonderful zest and optimism. Every Christmas, each New Year, each Thanksgiving that she’d celebrated with her grandfather and Adriana, she’d wondered how Giovanni was coping, because he was so alone and no one was visiting him. Tears welled up to wash the blue eyes and she turned her head away.
“Prison…prison has brutalized you….”
Her voice trailed away, choked by relentless emotions, and then his fingers were drawing her chin back, tilting it up so she was forced to meet his unreadable eyes. Emotions were taking their toll on him, too, perhaps the memories of the dark days in jail, and she winced in heartfelt sympathy. It was misplaced.
“You brutalized me,” he accused harshly. A thumb scooped the tears from her cheeks without tenderness. And the sickness threatened to overwhelm her. Hastily she brought her hand to her mouth and swallowed back the hard lump in her throat. Giovanni’s breath hissed in through his teeth, his merciless eyes flashing a spine-chilling warning that rooted her to the spot. “So you think you’re suffering!” he mocked. “You don’t even know you’re born! But you will soon.”
And she saw the raw anger in him, the sense of injustice he bore her as though he’d been brooding for all the intervening years and planning revenge. Nervously she looked around, hoping to catch the eye of a passerby and evade Giovanni, but the street was empty. In any case, she knew her only hope was to make him go. If he stayed for any length of time, even if there was a restraining order on him, he’d find out about Adriana.
Her heart lurched with sheer horror at the prospect. She had to shield Adriana from Giovanni, or he’d move heaven and earth to take her away. And the bewildered Adriana would scream and cry and he wouldn’t give a damn.
