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He wanted to jerk her into life. To make her lose her temper and to see some passion fly. At the same time, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect her as he might protect a defenceless animal or a tiny baby. She was too vulnerable for her own good. Too easy to wound. Hell, what was he going to do?
In two strides he’d breached the distance between them. With the wall behind her, she had nowhere to go though he had the impression that she would have vanished through it if she could.
Grimly he took her arm, felt her quiver when he did so. Looking deeply into her extraordinary eyes, he saw that she recognised he was going to tell her something unpleasant.
‘Sit down,’ he ordered, hating the way she made him feel. Firmly he pushed her rigid body into the kitchen chair.
And inexplicably he kept a hand on her shoulder, intensely aware of its fragility, of the fineness of the bone structure of her face as she stared up at him in fear and apprehension, drowning him, making him flounder with those great big eyes.
‘What is it?’ she whispered.
Feeling distinctly unsettled by her, he dragged up a chair and sat close to her. Immediately she shrank away from him, covering her knees with her hands primly. His mouth tightened.
He loathed seeing her like this, a slave to her past, to the constant belittling by Enid which had relentlessly ground away her confidence. It had been just like the elements, the wind and the rain out there on the moors, grinding down solid rock over the years. She needed to leave. To find life. Her true self.
Confused by his own passionate views of Laura’s future, he plunged in, eager to send her out into the world.
‘When I said that I’m not staying here with you, Laura,’ he said firmly, ‘I meant that you won’t be living here at all. I’ve bought Thrushton Hall from Tony. I’m moving in.’
‘Moving…in?’
She was blinking, her eyes glazed over as if she didn’t understand. He tried again so that there would be no mistake.
‘Correct. You, Laura, will have to move out. Pronto.’
Laura let out a strangled gasp. Her stomach went into free fall, making her feel faint.
‘No!’ she whispered in pure horror. ‘This is my home! All I’ve ever known! Tony wouldn’t do that to me!’
‘Yes, he would,’ Sue muttered. ‘He’s a loathsome little creep.’
‘That’s true,’ Cassian said in heartfelt agreement.
Laura stared at the implacable Cassian, her brain in a fog. ‘This is ridiculous! I live here!’
‘Not any more.’
She gave a little cry. ‘I’ve been paying the bills and maintaining the house ever since Tony disappeared! You—you can’t turn us out of here!’ she said weakly.
‘Us.’
Suddenly alert, he turned to scan the photographs around the room, his eyebrows asking an unspoken question.
‘My son,’ she mumbled, still dazed by Cassian’s announcement. ‘Adam,’ she added blankly as tears of despair welled up in her eyes. ‘He’s nine.’ She saw Cassian’s eyes narrow, as he began to make a calculation and she jumped in before he could say anything. ‘Yes, if you’re wondering, I was eighteen when he was born!’ she defied hysterically, bracing herself for some sign of disapproval.
Cassian, however, seemed unfazed. ‘You and your son,’ he said quietly. ‘No one else living with you?’
Suddenly she wanted to startle him as he’d startled her. Panic and fear were making her unstable. A spurt of anger flashed through her and with uncharacteristic impetuosity she answered;
‘I’m totally alone. I never had a husband—or even a partner!’
Everyone here knew how the travelling salesman from Leeds had flattered her by pretending she was beautiful. He must have seen a gauche, nervous and drab female in ill-fitting clothes and decided it would be easy for his silver tongue to dazzle her. Laura realised now that her transparent innocence, coupled with her teenage desperation to be loved, had been her downfall.
She flinched. There had been one fateful evening of bewilderment and repugnance—on her part—and then the arrival of Adam, nine months later. The shame of what she’d done would live with her for ever. And yet she had Adam, who’d brought joy to her dreary life.
Annoyingly, Cassian took her confession in his stride. ‘I see,’ he said non-committally.
Laura stiffened. ‘No you don’t!’ she wailed. ‘You stroll in here, claiming you’ve bought Thrushton Hall—’
‘Want to see the deeds?’ he enquired, foraging in the back pocket of his jeans.
The colour drained from her face when she saw the document he was holding out to her. Snatching it from him, she frantically unfolded it and read the first few lines, her heart contracting more and more as the truth sank in.
This was Cassian’s house. She would have to leave. Her legs trembled.
‘No! I don’t believe it!’ she whispered, aghast.
Despite the harshness of her childhood, this house held special memories. It was where her mother had lived. Deprived of any tangible memories of her mother, it comforted her that she walked in her mother’s footsteps every day of her life. And Cassian intended to drive her away.
‘You have no choice.’
Her head snapped up, sending her hair whirling about her set face. A frightening wildness was possessing her. Hot on its heels came an urge to lash out and pummel Cassian till his composure vanished and he began to notice her as a person instead of an irritating obstacle he needed to kick out of his way.
Her emotions terrified and appalled her. They seemed to fill her body, surging up uncontrollably with an evil, unstoppable violence. She fought them, groping for some kind of discipline over them because she didn’t know what would happen if she ever allowed those clamouring passions to surface.
‘You don’t want this house! You can’t possibly want to live here!’ she whispered, hoarse with horror.
His calm, oddly warm eyes melted into hers.
‘I do. I can.’
She took a deep, shuddering breath but she was losing a battle with her temper. Her child’s security was threatened. She wouldn’t allow that.
‘This is my home!’ she insisted tightly, clinging for dear life to the last vestiges of restraint. ‘Adam’s home!’
He shrugged as if homes were unimportant. ‘I had the impression that it was Tony’s. Now it’s mine. Do you pay rent?’
‘N-no—’
‘Then you have no legal rights to stay.’
Laura gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in consternation. ‘Surely I do! I must have some kind of protection—’
‘There could be an expensive legal case,’ he conceded. ‘But you’d have to go eventually. You’d save time and hassle if you did so straight away.’ He smiled in a friendly way, as if that would console her. ‘You’ll find somewhere else. You might discover that moving from Thrushton turns out to be a good idea in the long run.’
She glared and was incensed when his eyes flickered with satisfaction. It was as if he welcomed her anger!
‘What do you know?’ she yelled. Dear heaven! she thought. She was losing control, acting like a banshee—and couldn’t stop herself! ‘It’s a stupid idea! For a start, I don’t have any money!’ she choked, scarlet from the shameful admission. But he had to know her circumstances. ‘There’s nowhere I can go!’ she cried in agitation. ‘Nowhere I can afford!’
He continued to gaze at her with a steely eye, his heart clearly unmoved by her plight. And she knew that her hours in her beloved house—his house, she thought furiously—were probably numbered.
‘It’s true. She’s dead broke. Lost her job,’ confirmed Sue, suddenly butting in. Cassian jerked his head around in surprise as if he, like Laura, had forgotten Sue was there. ‘I reckon she can stay put if she chooses—’
‘I don’t deny that.’ Cassian flung an arm across the back of the chair, his eyes relentlessly fixed to Laura’s. She flinched as his expression darkened, becoming unnervingly menacing. ‘But you ought to know that living with me wouldn’t be pleasant,’ he drawled.
‘Meaning?’ Sue demanded.
He shrugged. ‘I’d be…difficult.’ His eyes seemed to be issuing a direct challenge. ‘I’d eat her food, play music late at night, change the locks…’ There was a provocative curve to his mouth, something…unnerving in his expression as his gaze swept her up and down. ‘Laura, I’m not changing my way of living for anybody, and I have the distinct impression that you’d be shocked by the way I wander about half-naked after my morning shower, with just a small towel covering me and my—’
‘Please!’ she croaked.
‘I’m just warning you,’ he murmured with a shrug.
She felt hot. The rawness of his huge energy field reached out to enfold her in its greedy clasp and she instinctively flattened herself against the back of the chair.
She blushed, ashamed to be assailed by the unwanted rivulets of molten liquid which were coursing through her veins. His sexuality was too blatant, too unavoidable. This was something alien to her and she couldn’t cope with it. Didn’t want it at all. Living with him would be a nightmare.
‘It’s no use! I can’t stay if he’s living here!’ she declared to Sue shakily. ‘Sharing would be impossible!’
‘Don’t you give up!’ Sue snapped. She glared at Cassian. ‘Laura’s been far too sheltered all her life to manage anywhere else—so you leave her alone, you ruthless, selfish brute. Push off back where you came from!’
Cassian rose, his eyes dark and glittering. ‘I’m not going anywhere, whatever insults you choose to hurl at me. I’m moving in, once the removal men have finished their early lunch.’
‘Lunch?’ With a start, Sue glanced at the kitchen clock and let out a groan. ‘Oh, crikey! My dental appointment! Never mind. I’ll cancel it,’ she offered urgently. ‘You need backup, Laura—’
‘No,’ she said quickly, sick with nerves, hating the wobble in her voice.
This was her battle. Sue was making things worse. Cassian had visibly tensed when Sue had shouted at him. He’d listen to logic, she was sure, but he wouldn’t be bullied.
Proud and erect, she stood up with great dignity, conscious, however, that her five-seven didn’t impinge on Cassian’s six foot.
And they were now only inches apart, waves of heat thickening the space between them, pouring into her, the heavy, lifeless air clogging up her throat. Laura gulped, feeling that all the power was draining from her legs till they trembled from weakness.
‘Well! Are you fighting me, Laura?’ he taunted.
Rebellion drained away too when she met his challenging eyes. His confidence was daunting. How could she fight him when he held all the cards?
‘I—I…’
‘Still the mouse,’ he mocked, but with a hint of regret in his dark regard. ‘Still meekly huddling in the corner, afraid of being trodden on.’
‘You rat!’ Sue gasped.
‘It’s true!’ he cried, his voice shaking in an inexplicable passion. ‘She can’t even stand up for her own flesh and blood!’
‘Leave her alone!’ Sue raged.
‘I can’t! She has to go! I have no intention of having a lodger around!’ Cassian snapped.
With a whimper, Laura jerked her head away and found herself staring straight at the photo she’d taken of her son on his ninth birthday. Her heart lurched miserably.
Adam looked ecstatic. They’d spent the day at Skipton, where they’d explored the castle, picnicked by the river, and splashed out on a special treat of tea and cakes in a cosy café. Cheap and simple as day trips went, but a joy for both of them.
The recriminations surrounding his conception had been hard to bear. Yet, even in the depths of her shame, Laura had felt a growing joy. This child was hers. And when he was born, her emotions had overwhelmed her, unnerving her with their unexpected intensity.
Love had poured from her and it had felt as if her heart would burst with happiness. She’d never known she had such feelings. Her child had reached into her very core and found a well of passion hidden there.
For hours she had cuddled her baby, his warm, living flesh snuggling up to her. And it had been more than compensation for the hard, unremitting drudgery which Enid had imposed on her as a punishment for her ‘lewd behaviour’.
She’d hardly cared because she had had her son to love. Someone to love her back.
Laura squared her shoulders. She would never let him down. Adam was horribly vulnerable and deeply sensitive. Cassian couldn’t be allowed to uproot them both. Did he honestly imagine that they’d pack their bags without a murmur, and tramp the streets like vagabonds till someone took them in?
She flung up her head and spoke before she changed her mind. ‘You’re wrong about me! I will fight you for my home! Tooth and nail—’
‘To defend your lion cub,’ he murmured, his voice low and vibrating.
Her eyes hardened at his mockery. ‘For the sake of my son,’ she corrected in scathing tones, infuriated by his condescension. ‘Sue, get going. I can deal with this better on my own. Besides, I’d rather you didn’t witness the blood he sheds,’ she muttered through her teeth.
‘Sounds promising,’ Cassian remarked lazily.
Laura ignored him because she thought she might choke with anger if she said anything. The situation clearly amused him. For her, it was deadly serious.
‘Come on, Sue. Off you go and get those molars drilled,’ she ordered tightly.
Secretly astonished by her own curt and decisive manner, she pushed her protesting friend towards the door.
Naturally, Sue resisted. ‘I can’t believe this! The worm turns! This I’ve gotta see!’
‘I’ll get the camera out,’ Laura muttered. ‘Please, please, go!’
‘I want close-ups!’ Sue hissed. ‘A blow by blow account, when I get back!’
‘Whatever! Go!’
It took her a minute or two before Sue could be budged but eventually she went, flinging dark and lurid warnings in Cassian’s direction and promising Laura a stick of rock from Hong Kong to brain Cassian with if he was still around.
Quivering like a leaf, Laura shut the door, braced herself, and turned to face him. With Sue gone, it felt as if she was very alone. And she would be—till the following afternoon. Adam was going to his best friend’s house after school and sleeping over. It was just her and Cassian, then.
Her heart thudded loudly in her chest at the strange pall of silence which seemed to have fallen on the house, intensifying the strained atmosphere.
Cassian was looking at her speculatively, his eyes half-closed in contemplation, a half-smile on his lips.
‘It’s a problem, isn’t it?’ he said mildly.
‘The camera or the blood?’ she flung back with rare sarcasm.
The black eyes twinkled disconcertingly. ‘You and me. In this house together.’
