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“I appreciate you telling me that.”
“This part of the hospital has been redone for the comfort of the parents.”
“Whoever planned it must have had a baby here at one time.”
“No doubt.”
“For your information, my wife has passed away. Reese is the nanny.”
Nick had to give Dr. Marsh credit for not reacting the way he probably would have under other circumstances. “You’re lucky to have found someone who has a strong mothering instinct. That’s going to help your son.”
“I agree.”
Reese returned soon after the doctor had left and washed her hands. “Do you know anything yet?”
He told her what he’d learned. She finished tying the mask and walked over to the crib. “I should think sleep is the very best thing for him.”
“We’re going to need it, too. It’s after eleven.” He went to the closet and pulled out the made-up cots, placing them end to end. There was enough room for the staff to move back and forth changing the IV while they did vitals and programmed their notes into the computer.
He heard a sigh. “Bed sounds good. Thank you for setting them up.” She removed her sandals and slipped under the covers with her head at the far end. Maybe she’d done it on purpose so their heads couldn’t possibly be close to each other. He was sorry about that, but at least they’d be spending the night in the same room with Jamie.
Nick shut off the overhead light. After studying his son for another few minutes, he took off his shoes and lay down on top of the cot, putting his hand behind his head. From his vantage point he could see her lying there on her side toward Jamie.
“Reese? Are you asleep yet?”
He watched her shift in the cot. “No. I know you’re worried about Jamie, but he’s getting the best care possible.”
“I believe that, too. I just wanted to say that the reason I was so long was that I had to let Jamie’s grandparents know he wouldn’t be coming to White Plains in the morning.”
“I’m sure they were upset.”
Reese didn’t know the half of it.
“Don’t be surprised if they show up tomorrow.”
“That would only be normal. In my family if anyone were in the hospital, a whole crowd would descend.” Nick couldn’t imagine what that would be like. “Too bad your parents are away and don’t know he’s ill.”
“Actually they got back from Cannes today. I listened to my father’s message on my voice mail.”
“Are they coming over here tonight?”
“No. I didn’t call him back.”
A long silence ensued. “I see.”
“You don’t see at all, but you’re so polite, you would never pry.”
“Your personal life is none of my business.”
“That’s an excellent response.”
“What do you mean?” She shot straight up in the cot. “I don’t understand.”
Just then one of the staff came in to check on Jamie. “How’s he doing?” Nick asked as the nurse finished on the computer.
“His temp is up a little from before, but these things take time. Try to get some sleep while he’s quiet.”
Nick’s stomach clenched. There was no way he could do that right now. He got up from the cot and walked over to the crib. At this point Reese joined him.
“He’s got to be all right, Nick!” He heard tears in her voice.
Without conscious thought he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. After dancing with her last week, he needed her warm, curvaceous body next to his. Though she’d told him no more repeats, the fact that she didn’t fight him right now revealed her deep need for comfort, too.
“What you said earlier,” she whispered. “If I—”
“Forget it,” he broke in. “I’m afraid I’m not myself tonight. We may be employer and nanny, but sometimes the lines get blurred. We’ve lived under the same roof for two weeks now. I find myself wanting to ask you questions I have no right to ask.”
“I know what you mean.” The tremor in her voice made its way through to his insides.
“So you admit you’re a little curious about me.”
“Of course.” He noticed her hands cling to the edge of the crib. “I wouldn’t be human otherwise.”
“Go ahead and ask me why I haven’t told my parents about Jamie being sick.”
She bowed her head. “Not if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“Actually I do. You recall our conversation about my family being blue bloods? Well, I made a vow that Jamie’s life is going to be different. Yes, he’s a Hirst and a Wainwright, but I won’t let him grow up under a system where appearances count for everything. That kind of life might be desirable at first, but it ends up destroying you.”
“You feel like that’s what happened to you?” she asked quietly.
“Our whole families have been destroying themselves for generations to the point that they don’t have that human quality of giving and receiving affection. They don’t feel it.”
She looked up at him with eyes that were suspiciously bright. “But you’re nothing like that!”
The impulse to crush her in his arms was so strong, he forced himself to let go of her altogether. “I was on my way to being exactly like that until a client made a chance remark three weeks ago that opened my eyes.”
“What did he say?”
“He’d been offering his condolences and said there was nothing like a child to help you get over your loss. He obviously assumed I was the typical new father having to get up with him in the night for his feedings. But he didn’t realize he was talking to a Wainwright who’d come from a cloistered, upper-class aristocracy.
“You can’t imagine how I felt at that moment knowing Jamie was at my in-laws’ being taken care of by their staff and I’d let it happen. Worse, my own parents saw nothing wrong with it. But the real crime was the one I’d committed by letting him go home with them in the first place. By turning over my son’s life to the hired help, I’d virtually abandoned him.”
“But if you hated what your parents had done to you, then—”
“I know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated. At the time of Erica’s death, everything was murky. But standing here now next to my son, I see things so clearly it terrifies me that I was once that other man.
“The truth is, I could have called my father back tonight and told my parents about Jamie, but they wouldn’t have cared, and it wouldn’t have occurred to them to come to the hospital. They’ve been emotionally absent from my life for thirty-four years. That’s never going to change. My uncles, my cousins, they’ll never change, either.”
“Oh, Nick…I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“How could you possibly know? You come from another world. A real world.”
“At least Erica’s parents have been there to support you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. They despise me.”
“Because you hired me?”
“No, Reese. My problems with them stem back to a year ago when Erica agreed to a divorce.”
“You divorced her?” She sounded shocked.
“Yes. We’d made one more stab at trying to patch up our two-year-old marriage, but it didn’t work. It wasn’t until after we separated that she told me she was pregnant. She moved back with her parents. I didn’t see her again until I got a phone call that she was on her way to the hospital. You know the rest.”
“So that’s why there was no nursery at the penthouse.”
“I let her have carte blanche decorating the apartment so she could entertain in style, but more often than not she stayed at White Plains. We lived apart much of the time, a situation that suited both of us. I know you can’t comprehend that.”
She kept her eyes averted. “It’s just so sad.”
“At the time it was simply the norm. When she died, I was devastated, but it was my guilt over our failed marriage that put me in a dark morass. I let them take the baby home. The problem is, Erica’s parents believe that Jamie—and all the money that comes with him as my heir—belongs more to them than to me after I’d damaged the family pride. It was a case of ‘it’s just not done.’”
He heard a little moan come out of Reese.
“You sound horrified. A normal person would be. But in my world, I’d broken the code of our social mores by divorcing her and was viewed as a revolutionary. Letting her parents keep our son for a time would look good on the surface. My parents would prefer it if things stayed that way. Anything to preserve the image.”
She shook her head. “How awful.”
“I debated telling you all this. It’s so messy and complicated and I’ll understand if you don’t want to involve yourself with it all. If you want to leave my employ, I’ll give you a check for the full amount we agreed upon. But I would ask you not to leave until Jamie’s on the mend.”
Leave him and the baby?
If only Nick knew what Reese was really thinking. Though the day would come when she would have to go, she would never be ready to give up him or the baby.
She sucked in her breath. “Don’t be ridiculous. The arrangement we made was that I wouldn’t go until the end of the summer. If you’re still in agreement, then let’s not talk about it again.”
Relief flooded her system when she heard him say, “Then we won’t.”
“Good. Right now your son needs us focusing on him and nothing else.”
No sooner had she delivered her words than Jamie woke up crying. Nick hurried around to the other side of the crib to pick him up.
“Does he still feel as hot to you?”
His dark eyes flew to hers. “Yes.”
That one word filled Reese with fresh alarm. Jamie’s temperature had been elevated for close to eighteen hours now. The IV was supposed to be doing its job.
They took turns holding him. The minutes passed. Another nurse came in to check on him. She left without saying anything to them. That really frightened her. This went on for another half hour. Then Dr. Wells walked in the room already masked and gloved.
He gave them a quick glance. “Sorry to hear your son’s been sick, Mr. Wainwright. Let me take a look at him.”
While Nick handed the baby over, Reese stood back to watch the pediatrician, thankful he’d come. In a minute he lifted his head.
“I’m going to have you start feeding him some formula. The nurse will bring it to you. Just an ounce at a time. He might throw it up at first, but you persevere and we’ll see if it finally stays down. I’ll be back later.”
The next hour was nightmarish with Jamie spitting up ten minutes after every ounce. She didn’t know how Nick was holding up. He’d taken over because of love for his child. That was the way it should be.
She folded the cots back up and put them away so there was room for the chairs. When she sat down next to him and the baby, the sun had come up. Though the blinds were closed, light illuminated the room.
Reese checked her watch. “Nick—do you realize he hasn’t thrown up for twenty minutes?”
His head lifted. “That’s definite progress.” He sounded elated.
“It is!” she cried.
The nurse came in a little while later. “How’s he doing?”
“It’s been a half hour since he last threw up.”
“Terrific.” She took the baby’s temperature. “It’s down four-tenths. I’ll call Dr. Wells and tell him. Let him sleep now.” She hurried out of the room.
Nick stood up and lay the baby back down in the crib.
Reese followed him over. “The worst must be over.”
They both heard the door open and Dr. Wells came back in to examine the baby. “He’s going to be fine. For the rest of the day give him formula when he seems ready for it. We’ll keep the IV going. This evening I’ll come by on rounds. If all is well, he’ll be able to sleep in his own crib tonight.”
“That’s wonderful!” Reese cried as he left the room. Luckily her mask muffled its full intensity.
Nick turned to her. His hands shot out to grasp her arms. “You’re wonderful. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Between his husky voice that sounded an octave deeper and those dark fringed eyes that were looking at her with such gratitude, she was overwhelmed by the feelings he engendered. But growing alongside her great happiness was a new fear clutching at her.
Last night he’d talked about the lines between nanny and employer getting blurred after living beneath the same roof. Try spending the whole night together in the same hospital room with the little baby they both adored.
This morning she couldn’t find the lines anywhere.
CHAPTER SIX (#ulink_35703c62-10e9-5631-9d26-538a476d983c)
“IS THE diaper bag packed?”
“All done.”
“Don’t forget your new bathing suit.”
Reese blinked. “We’re going swimming?”
“We might.”
