His Very Own Baby

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“It’s obvious you never loved me. Because you couldn’t bring yourself to marry me, I was denied the thrill of watching him grow inside you over the nine months you were pregnant. That’s not something I’m going to forget. But it’s in the past.

“All that matters now is that I love him. I plan to fight for him, Blaire. I know I can win. I have friends in high places, and I have the kind of money it takes to get what I want.

“I hope I’ve made it clear I want my son. When you call Rick, you tell him that for me. No matter how accommodating he’s been, let’s be honest. If he’s any kind of a man, he’ll prefer making his own babies with you.

“Here!” He reached in his trouser pocket and tossed his cell phone on the other bed. “Be my guest. Since I’m planning to stay the night, you’ll need to go in the bathroom and shut the door if you don’t want me to overhear your conversation.

“Before you go, toss me that nightgown and I’ll get this little tyke ready for bed. He just gave me a huge yawn, which reminds me how sleepy I am. This has been quite a day for both of us, hasn’t it, son.”

She struggled for breath. “You can’t stay here, Alik!”

“What are you worried about? I’m certainly not about to leap on an unwilling woman who left me and ran away because she couldn’t stand the sight of me. Remind Rick of that fact when he tells you he doesn’t approve of your spending the night in the same room with me.

“Of course if it’s a case of your sensibilities being offended now that you’re wearing his ring, you’re welcome to book another room for yourself. I’ll pay for it.”

Suffused by the white-hot heat of anger she cried, “I thought by doing the honorable thing that you—”

“No—” He broke in brutally. “You never thought about anyone but Blaire Regan. I suspect Rick is a good deal younger than I am, and doesn’t have a dime to his name. He’s probably panting to get you into bed if he hasn’t already, and is praying I’ll come through with enough child support to set you up.”

“How dare you!”

But those very words crucified her even as she said them because Alik had every right to be in a rage. The damage she’d done to him by breaking their engagement was so much worse than she’d supposed. And now she was forced to perpetuate a lie about a fiancé who didn’t exist. All because she’d wanted Alik to know he had a son. What have I done?

If he fought for custody, his family would get involved. After all his mother had threatened, if she were to find out it was Blaire’s child…

Blaire shuddered, not even wanting to think about that because Alik’s mother would never accept Nicky as a Jarman. The knowledge of his existence would create such enmity between Alik and his family, it would turn into a living horror story.

In the end Alik and Nicky would be the ones who were destroyed. She couldn’t do that to them. She couldn’t let it happen. Right now she needed the wisdom of Solomon to know where to turn, how to stop the precarious situation from escalating.

Feeling physically and emotionally ill, she turned out the light and sank down on top of the other bed to think. But the hopelessness of this nightmare overwhelmed her. Turning her back to Alik, she buried her face in the pillow to stifle her sobs.

After a few minutes, “Once upon a time those tears might have moved me,” came the gravelly male voice out of the darkness. “To have the thing you prized most in life snatched away without warning is a life-changing experience, isn’t it, Blaire? I have to say it’s one you’ve been long overdue.

“Do you know I used to lie awake nights planning different ways I would exact my revenge to make you suffer even one-hundredth of my pain? Little did I know that one day down the road, you would appear in my trailer to supply me with the perfect instrument to inflict that torture back on you.”

Unable to bear the stinging pain any longer, she drew herself upright, smoothing the hair out of her tear-ravaged face.

“Consider your revenge complete, Alik. I’m prepared to grovel because I can’t lose Nicky. He’s my life!”

“You mean Rick isn’t?”

This was one time she had to be totally honest. “Not in the same way.”

“The poor, stupid devil. You’re the kind of woman who needs to wear a warning sign, Love Me At Your Own Peril.”

Every thrust of his rapier tongue ripped apart what little of her heart his family had left intact. Now there was nothing more to shred.

“Name your price,” she said in wooden voice. “Just promise me you won’t bring the courts into it and sue me for full custody of Nicky.” Please don’t do that or your family will find out. “I—I’d rather be dead.”

A long, tension-filled silence ensued. The baby must have fallen asleep in his Alik’s arms. She hadn’t heard a peep out of him.

“That’s an interesting proposition,” he muttered silkily. “Let me think about it. I’ll give you my answer in the morning.” The sound of satisfaction in his tone made her tremble.

While both the baby and Alik slept, she spent the next three hours in a frantic state of torment trying to figure out what his answer would involve. The only possibility that made sense would be if he demanded she live in the same city so they could share custody.

But if he forced her to do that, then her bogus story about a fiancé would be exposed. There was no way on earth she could come up with a fake husband-to-be. It meant she would have to concoct another story about Rick not wanting to leave San Diego, so they’d decided to call off their engagement.

She could hear Alik’s mocking words when she informed him of that particular piece of news.

That makes two down, Blaire. How many more to go before the male of the species learns to look, then run for dear life in the opposite direction.

By the time Nicky started making hungry sounds, she’d come to terms with the fact that she might have to move to Warwick and rent an apartment until Alik’s work took him elsewhere. But whatever she had to do, it was worth it to keep her baby.

As for Alik’s parents, they still wouldn’t have to know anything about his secret child. Thank heaven Long Island was too far away to pose any kind of threat of her being seen in this area of the state.

Out of habit, she got up from the bed and flicked on the light switch to pour Nicky’s formula into a clean bottle. When she turned around Alik was right behind her, their fussy baby propped against his shoulder.

“I want to feed him. Show me what to do.”

He stood too close. She could feel his warmth. The familiar brand of the soap he used in the shower emanated from his bronzed skin, assailing her senses. His shuttered eyes reminded her of the way he used to look at her when his passion had been aroused.

Out of self-preservation she ran for the baby bag. “He needs to have his diaper changed first,” she called over her shoulder. “Lay him down on the quilt and you can do it.”

The next few minutes were instructive as he followed her directions with methodical attention to detail. Dr. Jarman was known as a perfectionist. He would be that way when it came to caring for his son.

Out of the periphery she saw the glow in his eyes, revealing the bursting pride in his little boy who was perfect in every way, shape and form.

When he’d finally managed to slip the baby into a clean shirt and nightgown, she suggested he sit at the head of the bed with Nicky nestled in his left arm.

His daddy had taken a little too long for his liking with all the baby wipes, ointment and powder. Now their son was all worked up and clamored for his food.

Averting her eyes, she placed a clean cloth over Alik’s broad shoulder, careful not to touch him for fear she wouldn’t want to stop. Then she handed him the bottle.

“Go ahead and put it in his mouth. He’ll do the rest. When he’s drunk a third of it, prop him on your shoulder and gently pat his back to get rid of the air bubbles. By the time he has drained the bottle, he’ll be fast asleep again. Give him one more burp and then put him in his crib.

“Be sure to lay him on his back before you cover him with his quilt. The doctor says a lot of infant deaths have been prevented by putting them in that position.”

She stood for a minute to watch. Nicky searched in frustration for the nipple, but couldn’t quite get hold of it.

“Insert it right into his mouth. He’s not a fragile piece of crystal.”

When Alik did her bidding, the baby started devouring his formula. He drank so fast and furiously, he made loud noises that sounded indecent. Alik’s laughter started in his throat and rumbled out to fill the hotel room.

She couldn’t help smiling. “As you’re discovering, he has your healthy appetite.” Before she gave her feelings away, she removed herself to the other bed.

“Do you want me to leave the light on or off?”

“On,” he murmured. “I still have trouble believing he’s real, let alone that he came from one night’s pleasure with you.”

The thickness in his tone sent delicious pains through her body.

“I could look at him all night. He has your eyes and eyebrows. It’s your mouth in miniature. Even I who am biased because I’m his father, can see he’s a living miracle because you’re his mother. For a woman who hates my guts, you’ve given me a priceless treasure.”

She winced at the sudden twist of the knife.

“Because of this noble gesture you’ve made,” he said with glaring sarcasm, “I’m prepared to offer you a deal. There’ll be no bargaining. You will either accept it, or I’ll take Nicky away from you forever.”

Here it comes, Blaire. Her fingernails dug into the quilted bedspread covering the mattress.

“For the next month you’ll live in my trailer with me. Separate beds of course. I need that amount of time to get used to my son’s routine, and for him to get used to me.

“At the end of the thirty days—if you’ve kept your side of the bargain by staying put to help me establish an unbreakable bond with our innocent child—then and only then will I be willing to talk about joint custody. Otherwise we go to court. I promise you it will be a fight you’ll wish you hadn’t started,” he vowed with a fierceness she’d never heard come out of him before.

“That’s it. That’s the bargain. If your fiancé doesn’t like the idea of being separated from you for a month, that’s tough! Compared to nine months deprivation from my unborn child, he damn well has nothing to complain about.”

CHAPTER THREE

BLAIRE didn’t close her eyes for the rest of the night. To live with Alik for a month in such close quarters was the last thing she’d expected him to demand.

He’d asked the impossible of her!

Unable to quell the frantic beat of her heart since he’d surprised her in his trailer yesterday, she feared being under one roof with him that long would wear out her vital organ before the thirty days were halfway up.

She needed to be made of stone to endure the torture of being around him day and night, sharing everything except a bed. If she’d thought she’d loved him prior to their breakup, those emotions were nothing compared to the feelings she had for him as she watched the care he was giving Nicky for his six in the morning feeding.

Perhaps there was no more beautiful sight than a strong, powerful man nurturing his little baby with so much love. With Alik this wasn’t a show of pretense. His delight in their son was a hundred percent genuine. If Blaire hadn’t known that deep in her soul, she might not have set out on this precarious mission.

Now that Alik had told her what he was prepared to do, she had a decision to make. But she needed to inform her parents before giving him his answer.

While father and son were otherwise occupied, she got off the bed, gathered a fresh change of clothes and headed for the bathroom with his cell phone.

After locking the door, she turned on the water full force, then phoned home. Her mom and dad adored Alik, and were horribly upset when they’d found out why she’d broken her engagement. Though they hadn’t approved of her lying to him about her reason for ending it with him, they’d understood her motives and had left it alone.

When she’d informed them she was expecting his baby, they’d insisted she live with them until after it was born. Without their love and support, she had no idea how she would have managed. Since they’d always maintained Alik had the right to know about his child, they’d backed her decision to fly to New York.

But like her, they were shocked by Alik’s ultimatum. When she reminded them that his family was worth millions and he could take Nicky away from her, the silence on the phone told its own story. Her parents worshiped their grandson. To lose him would be unthinkable.

No one knew better than Blaire that her parents lived on a fixed income and could never afford a court battle. Neither could she, especially not on the small amount of money she made doing word processing at home for college students who needed their term papers typed.

The best her parents could do was ask her to call them as often as she could, and remind her that she and Nicky still had a home when the month was up. With muffled tears, she thanked them, then hung up and stepped into the shower.

By the time she’d emerged from the bathroom in a clean blouse and jeans, Alik had put Nicky back in the crib and was lounging on the bed like a dangerous panther lying in wait for its prey.

She braced herself to face the inevitable withering comment from him. It wasn’t long in coming.

“That must have been some conversation you had with Rick. I hope you warned him that if he sets foot in my trailer at any time in the next thirty days, all bets are off.”

In order to carry out this charade to its necessary conclusion, she had to convince Alik she had a fiancé.

Pretending to be enflamed, she wheeled around. “Why do you assume I have decided to accept your bargain?”

He flashed her a sardonic glance. “Because you didn’t try to sneak out with Nicky while I was asleep between feedings.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten very far,” she admitted, reaching for the brush to do her hair.

“I’m glad you recognize that fact.”

If she’d really been engaged to another man, his smug remark would have made her furious.

“Enough, Alik. You’ve won. I’ll live with you for a month. But it will be easier for me if you leave my fiancé out of the conversation. He may not like this arrangement, but he urged me to accept your conditions because he knows I’ll never be happy if I lose Nicky. That’s the kind of man he is, so don’t say anything more about him.” Her voice trembled.

Judging by the way his expression closed up, she’d done a better job of acting than she’d supposed.

“I called for breakfast to be sent up. It should be here any minute. While we’re waiting, let’s make a list of the things we’ll need for our happy home.”

She bit her lip. “There isn’t much space to work with in your trailer.”

“We’ll make room. I prefer cozy to palatial.”

Alik had never been able to tolerate his parents’ ostentatious lifestyle. He found it obscene to flaunt money, and much preferred to do humanitarian kinds of gestures behind the scenes. In that way alone, he was a remarkable man. If she got started on all his wonderful traits, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Well, obviously we’ll need a crib. I can send for the rest of Nicky’s clothes.”

He made a sound of exasperation. “I doubt a six-week-old baby has an elaborate wardrobe. We’ll shop for the items he needs. After your sudden exit from my world, the experience of buying things for my own daughter or son was something I never expected to happen in my lifetime.