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In her mind she envisioned the Garden of Eden. She would use the glass to form the leaves of the Tree of Knowledge, making it the focal point of the scene. Tomorrow, if she managed to achieve the right shade of red, she could form the apple of temptation.
She lost track of time, heating a cutting tool to a red-hot point before she scored the glass to crack it into the shape she wanted. As she worked, she fell under the spell of creating her glass scenes, watching the shapes transform from the image within her mind into reality.
After she had cut several leaves from the finished glass, she spied Nairna and Dougal at the entrance. Her girls had awakened and Nairna held Adaira in her arms.
Her brother-in-law’s face was coated with ash, his face sweaty from the labour. As Dougal stared at her, his expression turned curious. ‘You made that?’ he asked, pointing to the sheet of glass. ‘From sand, just now?’
‘No. Days ago,’ Laren corrected. ‘It takes several days to make glass. Longer, depending on what colours you want.’ She put on her gloves, feeling uneasy about the burn scars on her hands, but no one had noticed them. Ramsay had moved to the back of the cavern, trying to remain unobtrusive.
Her side was aching again and Laren took several breaths to force back the pain. Tonight she would speak to Vanora and ask if she could make a sleeping draught. For now, she hid her misery and asked Dougal, ‘Did you bring me any of the beechwood ash? Or am I supposed to scrape it off you?’
His cheeks reddened at her teasing and he pointed outside. ‘I filled the wagon with it.’
‘You can dump it just outside the cave, if you can manage.’
In the end, all of them worked together to shovel it out. Mairin and Adaira tried to help, but it was more difficult with them underfoot.
When at last the wagon was empty, Laren checked on the melt and adjusted the fires. She used a bellows to increase the heat and Ramsay took his place beside the fire, promising to keep it going.
‘It should be ready by midnight,’ he predicted. ‘I’ll add the crucible then.’
‘Good. I’ll be here first thing in the morning to check the melt.’
‘I won’t let the fire go out,’ he swore. And she knew he’d keep the promise. He was accustomed to sleeping during the day; not once had she lost a melt under his watch.
Laren gave him a solemn nod, refraining from ruffling his hair as she wanted to. Ramsay couldn’t bear any form of affection and he’d stiffened on the few occasions when she’d patted his shoulder. When she looked into his dark eyes, she saw the image of the son she might have had.
The vivid pain came crashing back and she bit her lip to suppress it. Nairna sent her a curious look. ‘Are you all right?’
Laren nodded. ‘I suppose I should take the girls back. It’s late.’ She touched Mairin’s shoulder and reminded her daughter to hold her sister’s hand. After adjusting their outer clothing to keep them warm, Laren took both girls’ hands in hers and started to walk back.
Nairna remained at her side and ventured softly, ‘I think you should tell your husband about the glass.’
Laren sent the girls to run on ahead and they quickly caught up to Dougal, begging for a ride inside the wagon. When they were out of earshot, she stopped walking, touching her hand to her side.
‘I will tell him, Nairna. Just not yet.’ The idea of revealing her awkward skills was frightening. It was like exposing the deepest part of herself.
‘It would help him to understand why you’re gone so many hours of the day.’ Her sister-in-law rested a hand upon her shoulders. ‘And one day you’ll tell the rest of the clan.’
Laren shook her head. ‘I know what the other women say about me. They think I’m spineless and unfit to be a chief’s wife.’
‘I don’t believe that.’ Nairna shook her head and smiled. ‘You’re just quiet and shy.’
‘No. It’s more than that.’ Laren reached down and touched the edge of her gown, remembering the threadbare clothing she’d worn years ago.
‘My father was a beggar,’ Laren admitted. ‘He wasn’t able to take care of us. Sometimes he would fall under a spell of melancholy and wouldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time.’ She pulled her cloak tighter around her. ‘We hardly had enough to eat and everyone knew it. My sisters and I wore the cast-off clothes of others.’
From Nairna’s startled expression, she guessed that no one had told her. ‘The clan knows where I came from. And they know I haven’t the ability to lead them.’ She shook her head at the incongruity of the idea. Then she looked back at Nairna. ‘I may be the chief’s wife now, but I’m still an embarrassment.’
Laren quickened her pace, past the white stone that lay on the hillside. ‘The glassmaking is part of me, Nairna. If I have this, I can endure their criticism. I can let it flow through me and not let it hurt, because I know what I can make.’
She took a breath, though the confession tore at her heart. ‘It doesn’t matter if I can’t lead the people or be the wife Alex needs, because I know that there’s something I can do.’
Nairna tried to offer words of comfort, but Laren didn’t hear them. She saw her husband in the distance, waiting for them at the gates.
And when she saw the intense look upon his face, within his expression lay worry and a hint of relief. He embraced the girls, swinging Adaira up into his arms. But though he spoke to them, she didn’t miss the way he watched her.
Almost as if he’d needed to see her again.
March, 1300
The soft sound of a stone striking the wood of her mother’s cottage awakened Laren fromslumber. A secret thrill of excitement warmed her, for Alex was here, just as he’d promised.
Her sisters were asleep beside her, but none of them stirred when she rose from the pallet they shared. Tiptoeing outside, she glanced behind her to be certain her mother hadn’t seen her.
The moon shone silver in the clouded sky, and she saw Alex emerge from the shadows. His face and dark hair were damp, as though he’d washed in the stream before coming to see her. In his palm he held small stones, but he let them fall, extending his hand to her. Laren made no sound, but took his hand, following him into the forest.
It wasn’t as dark as she’d expected, but as they moved deeper into the woods, she drew closer to his side. The spring air was cool and she sensed the moisture that hung with the portent of rain. Dark green moss covered the trees and she was careful of her footing as she walked with him. A sense of forbidden anticipation built up inside, at the thought of being alone with this man.
Once they reached the clearing, she saw the small circle of standing stones. Ancient and worn, the stones held their own element of enchantment. It was their private place, one where reality faded away and she could forget thathe was a chief’s son, and she, a poor crofter’s daughter.
Here, they could be together with no one to interfere. Never had Alex treated her as though she were beneath him. Right now, he was staring at her with a mixture of desire and regret.
‘I have to leave on the morrow,’ he told her, his hands drawing her into an embrace. ‘My Uncle Donnell wants me to visit the Campbell clan.’ There was a heaviness in his eyes, a sense of frustration. He’d been living with his uncle, who had become chief after the death of his father. There was little affection between them, for Donnell continually derided him, claiming that Alex lacked the skill to ever be a leader like his father.
‘When will you return?’ she whispered.
‘I don’t know.’ His hands framed her face and he touched his forehead to hers. ‘He wants me to wed the daughter of their chief. But you needn’t worry. I’ve made my choice of a bride already.’
His fingers moved through her long red hair and within his eyes she saw a rising hunger. A piece of her heart broke away, for if she could, she’d keep him with her. She loved Alex MacKinloch with every breath, with every part of herself.
But she feared they would have no future together, not as poor as she was. And there wasa sinking dread that, once he saw this woman, he might forget what there was between them.
For now, she fully intended to savour every stolen moment. His mouth came down upon hers and she kissed him back with all the fervour in her heart. His lips and tongue merged with her own, conjuring up desperate feelings she didn’t understand. Against her body, she felt the hard length of his desire. He drew her hips closer, his hungry mouth moving over her skin.
She couldn’t catch her breath, her pulse racing. Tonight could be their last night together. Once he left Glen Arrin, she might lose him.
‘I love you,’ she whispered, her arms twining around his neck.
He lowered her down to the soft grass and she saw the moment when he regained control of his thoughts. Though his breathing was as staggered as her own, he rolled to his side, studying her.
‘I want you to be my wife, Laren.’
She tried not to let her feelings overshadow what needed to be said. Closing her eyes, she tried to find the right words.
‘Not until you return.’ She wanted to believe that he would love her enough, but she didn’t want him to later hold regrets.
‘Say you will,’ he urged again.
She leaned up to kiss him, distracting him with the physical desire that burned betweenthem. It was easier not to think of losing him when his arms were around her.
‘You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted,’ she answered against his mouth. He took her mouth again, his hands moving over her shoulders, then he brought his palm over her breast.
He let it rest there, waiting to see what she would do. Her nipple rose with a fevered arousal and she felt an answering rush between her legs. She knew, if she allowed it, he would become her lover this night.
His thumb caressed the erect tip and she shifted her legs together at the aching sensation. Temptation warred with good sense and she captured his hand with hers.
‘When you return,’ she whispered. She could not surrender her innocence to him, not when he might be forced to wed another.
He sat up, leaning her body back against him. ‘I’ve brought you a gift to remember me by.’ In her palm, he pressed a small pouch.
Laren unwrapped the leather and poured out a handful of glass droplets. Vivid blue, green and red mingled with white, in a jewelled handful.
‘They’re beautiful,’ she breathed.
‘Father Nolan made them. They reminded me of the treasures I’d give to you, if I could.’
The cool glass warmed beneath her fingers and she held one up to examine it more closely.As she studied them, she wondered how they were made. She knew the priest used sand and fire, but no one dared to interrupt him while he was forging his magic.
Alex kissed her again, holding her close. Though she desired him, she was afraid of what the future might hold.
And, most of all, she feared losing him.
Chapter Three
A bone-deep exhaustion settled within him. Every muscle in his body ached and Alex wanted nothing more than to find a place to sleep for the next fortnight. But he couldn’t.
Despite working since sunrise, they’d done little more than clear away the wreckage. The mood within Glen Arrin was unsettled, for they were exposed, their weaknesses bared to any enemy who happened to draw near.
He closed his eyes, knowing the violence would come. Robert Fitzroy, the Baron of Harkirk, had retreated after the last battle, but Alex had no doubt that the English baron was merely biding his time.
The silence unnerved him more than any direct attack. He sensed, within his blood, that Harkirk would strike again. It was a matter of when, not if.
The heaviness of the clan’s fate rested upon his shoulders and he could feel their doubts. He’d heard more than a few whispers today, questioning his leadership. But this was his clan. He would do whatever was necessary to keep them safe, even if they were reduced to ashes and sackcloth.
They were his people. His family.
His brother Bram approached, his expression dark, as though he didn’t want to bear bad news. ‘I’ve heard talk of several men wanting to leave. They have family among the other clans.’
‘I won’t let that happen.’ Alex adjusted the bandage on his arm, knowing that if a few left, others would follow.
‘And how could you stop them?’
‘It won’t come to that.’ He walked alongside Bram through the remains of the keep. ‘Tonight I’ll speak to them.’
When he passed several of his kinsmen, he didn’t miss the despair and hopelessness on their faces as they worked to gather up what remained of their belongings. It wouldn’t be easy to convince them, but as their chief it was his responsibility to care for them.
He passed Brodie, who was holding the hand of his three-year-old son. The child struggled to pick up a stone that was nearly as big as he was, his face pursed with effort. Brodie put his arms around his son and helped him to lift up the stone, before setting it down upon the wall.
The fist of grief caught Alex so hard that he blinked back the emotion. It had been almost three years now. Their son would have been the same age as this child. He could almost imagine it in his mind, and when Brodie stood, holding his son’s hand, Alex felt the emptiness of his own palm.
It’s in the past, he told himself. You have two daughters. Be thankful for what you have.
In the distance, Dougal was returning with Mairin and Adaira riding alongside him in the wagon. Nairna and Laren approached a short distance behind. There was exhaustion in his wife’s bearing and he didn’t understand why she’d defied him again.
He increased his pace to meet her, when he reached her side, he saw the defensive expression rise up. From the way she clutched her side, she was in pain. He couldn’t understand why she would exert herself, simply to get away from everyone else.
‘You took the girls for a walk?’ he confirmed, nodding toward his daughters, who were tormenting poor Dougal with their chatter.
‘Aye. You wanted me to keep them away from the fortress.’
‘I meant for you to rest and keep them with you.’ He suspected she’d known his wishes; she’d simply chosen to ignore them.
The more he thought of it, the more he realised that they’d been gone for several hours outside. It was freezing and a thin layer of ice coated the loch. Laren wouldn’t expose the girls to that kind of cold. When he studied his daughters, he noted that they didn’t appear in any sort of discomfort. Their cheeks were rosy, their smiles bright.
‘Where did you take the girls?’
She looked startled, as if she hadn’t expected him to confront her. ‘Just on a walk. Nowhere, really.’
‘For several hours?’ He moved closer, his gaze narrowed.
‘Well, I—’
‘Don’t lie to me,’ he demanded. He reached out to touch the back of her neck and, upon her skin, he felt warmth and a slight perspiration. The aroma of wood smoke clung to her hair. ‘You went inside somewhere, didn’t you?’
Laren coloured, but didn’t deny it. ‘Yes. We went to Father Nolan’s cavern.’ She backed away from his touch and he let his hand fall to his side. From the fear in her eyes, he knew there was far more that she hadn’t said.
‘Why?’ The cavern had been abandoned for several years, ever since the old priest had died.
‘I—I’ll tell you later,’ she stammered. ‘But not here.’
He heard the tremor in her voice, and her blue eyes were downcast. It startled him to see her so uncertain, almost as if she were guilty about something. What was she hiding?
‘Send the girls to Vanora and Ross tonight,’ he gritted out, releasing her from his grasp. ‘I want to talk to you alone.’
Her face flushed with uneasiness. ‘I have to prepare food for the girls. They need a meal before they go to sleep.’
It was a feeble excuse not to go. But then his gaze moved down to her hands and he caught the traces of blood upon them.
‘You’re bleeding again.’ It was a foolish observation and it infuriated him that she refused to stop and take care of herself.
‘It will stop,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll rest and it will be fine.’
He softened his tone. ‘Let Vanora take care of the girls. And let me take care of you.’ Without waiting for the refusal he knew would come, he left Laren’s side and went to the older matron. Ross’s wife sent him a pointed look, but she agreed to look after their daughters.
The afternoon sky darkened, Alex gave orders for Dougal to bring him a horse and supplies for the night. Laren’s gaze was focused upon the girls. When she understood that he wasn’t giving her a choice, her displeasure was evident.
He didn’t care. Right now, he needed to confront his wife, to understand what she was hiding from him.
