скачать книгу бесплатно
Diana screamed in delight.
‘You’re getting married!’ she whooped, ‘and I’m going to be bridesmaid. That is fabulous!’ Fabulous. That was the word she’d been searching for.
‘I know!’ said Josie, ‘isn’t it great?’
Diana suddenly felt a sudden, sober chill. It was great, of course it was great, but drunken misery set in, ‘What about u-u-uss?’ she wailed. ‘You’re going off to get married and you’ll be shacked up and happy and I’ll be on my own and single for ever!’
Great sloppy tears were running down her cheeks. Damn, that punch had been a serious mistake.
‘Oh, Di, don’t say that,’ said Josie, clutching her in panic, ‘you’re my best friend, I couldn’t live without you.’
She was crying too.
‘You couldn’t?’ Diana paused and blew her nose, not very attractively. She hoped Philip didn’t choose that particular moment to look for her.
‘Of course not,’ said Josie, sobbing nearly as loudly as Di was, ‘you’re always going to be my best friend. What would I do without you?’
‘But it’s not going to be the sa-aa-me,’ hiccoughed Diana.
‘It will, it will,’ said Josie, ‘pinkie promise.’
She linked her little finger in Diana’s, setting off a fresh round of wailing, ‘Oh, that’s so lovely,’ she wept, ‘I love you so much.’
‘And I love you too,’ howled Josie, hugging her tightly.
‘But you love Harry more,’ said Diana.
‘I do,’ said Josie, her eyes shining through her tears, ‘I really do.’
Diana looked around her, suddenly surprised that they were sitting on the floor.
‘Then what are we doing sitting here?’ she said. ‘You’re getting married. That is so fantastic. C’me on, let’s dance!’
She staggered up, dragging Josie after her, and went to find Harry who was sitting looking slightly dazed in the corner, ‘Woohoo, you two getting married, that is so brilliant! Listen up, everyone, Harry and Josie have just got engaged!’
‘This calls for champagne!’ someone shouted.
‘We don’t have any,’ laughed Josie, ‘we’ll have to make do with vodka.’
‘Vodka it is!’ said Diana. She busied herself filling people’s glasses, and then declared a toast, ‘To Harry and Josie!’ she said. ‘Harry and Josie!’ everyone said, raising their glasses and cheering, and the next half hour disappeared in a flurry of congratulations and back slapping. It was only as the party began to die to down that Diana remembered Philip. She looked round for him and couldn’t see him anywhere. Sneaky bastard. A bleep from her phone confirmed it. Sorry, had to dash. Catch you soon? This year, next year, sometime, never. She looked over at Josie caught in a romantic clinch with her future husband, and tried not to feel that she was getting left behind.
In a bar in Australia, Anthony Lambert, known to his friends as Ant, opened his laptop and checked his emails. He’d sent a rude message to his best friend, Harry, the previous day in response to the dire (in Ant’s mind at least) news that he was settling down and moving in with his girlfriend, Josie, after a ridiculously whirlwind romance lasting a few short months. Ant had been horrified, not least because at twenty-eight the notion of settling down seemed as far removed as it had when he’d first met Harry at uni ten years ago, but also because Harry had already dated Josie back then, and they’d lost touch. If she was so great, why hadn’t they stuck together before? Hmm? Ant’s motto was always look forward, never look back. He felt sure that Harry was making a big mistake, and had told him so in so many words. Well. Very few words actually. It had been more along the lines of What are you doing you stupid bastard? I thought Josie was all in the past?
It seemed Harry had been remarkably swift in his reply. Their correspondence while Ant had been away had been in the main, short and sweet, and they’d often been known to go weeks without hearing from one another. It was only the imperative need to tell his best friend not make a complete dickhead of himself which had impelled Ant to write yesterday.
From: Harry@gmail.com
To: Antonhistravels@gmail.com
Hi mate,
1 I hope you’re sitting down …
2 And I hope you are in a bar …
3 And I also hope you have a drink in your hand …
What the …? Ant had a sip of his beer, and scrolled down to the bottom of the email where he read words which caused him to nearly spill his drink. He had to reread in case he’d got it wrong, but no, there it was in black and white.
I know you’re not going to like this, mate, but it’s my life.
So … the big news is Josie and I are getting married. Next year, September, we think.
I know, I know. It’s sudden. And I’m going to have to put off travelling for a bit. But … I let her get away once. I’m not going to make that mistake again. Try to be happy for us.
Harry.
P.S. We’d like you to be best man.
Best man. Harry wanted him to be best man? Could it get any worse?
‘Fuck me sideways,’ said Ant out loud. ‘I think it’s time I went home.’
Part One (#udcdfecaf-9b5a-56d5-8ce3-24b93f5e2990)
There May I Marry Thee (#udcdfecaf-9b5a-56d5-8ce3-24b93f5e2990)
‘Four days will quickly steep themselves in night
Four nights will quickly dream away the time …’
A Midsummer Night’s Dream:Act I, Scene 1
‘Magic tricks are all about dissembling. Distract the punter with your voice, or a bit of stage business, and they miss the actual trick itself. It’s easy when you know how.’
Freddie Puck: The Art of Illusion
Chapter One (#ulink_1e7294bd-7ee1-5bf3-8d6b-b701cc2a9e38)
‘Is that the lot?’ said Harry as he paused to take a breather. Though early in the morning, the June sun was already hot and he was already working up a sweat. He looked on in horror as Josie, still somehow looking cool and collected in a strappy summer dress and sandals, came down the flat steps, with the second large holdall she had apparently packed for a simple weekend away. ‘How long are we planning to be away again?’
‘This one isn’t mine, it’s Di’s,’ said Josie. Di had come to stay the night before, terrified of oversleeping on her own. ‘And before you start bitching about how Diana always takes advantage of me, she’s bringing her bigger one.’
‘She’s got a bigger bag than this?’ Harry said as he took the bag from Josie, and tried to squeeze a space for it in the not-too-huge boot of his Honda Civic. A car that, not unnaturally, Ant had sneered at very loudly, as being ‘a girl’s car.’ Sometimes Harry wished Ant would keep his opinions to himself. But there was no chance of that. Ant, back from his travels, was louder and more opinionated than ever since his time away. It hadn’t taken him long to be employed by a flash advertising company (‘Recession, what recession?’ he’d queried) with more cash than sense and was driving down alone in his brand new top of the range Merc. He was planning to meet them at a motorway service station en route, as, hilariously for Ant who was always overconfident, he appeared to have had an attack of nerves at the thought of arriving before them and meeting Josie’s parents on his own.
‘I don’t think I’m going to be able to fit this all in,’ said Harry, looking despairing as Diana, her ginger curls escaping from a straggly bun, tottered down the steps in high wedges, skinny jeans which accentuated every curve and a skimpy top which left nothing to the imagination, dragging an even bigger and more cumbersome bag behind her.
‘Di, you’re going to have to have your bag in the back with you,’ said Josie when she realised that there really was no more room in the boot. ‘Either that, or we’ll ring Ant up to see if he can take you in his car.’
‘No, it’s okay,’ said Diana as she squashed herself into the back, complete with the offending bag. ‘Ant’s an unusual name.’
‘It’s short for Anthony,’ said Harry, ‘though sometimes he goes by the name of Tony.’
‘I knew a Tony once, he was a total wanker. What’s yours like?’
‘A total wanker,’ said Josie, and Harry dug her in the ribs. ‘Well, he is,’ she protested, ‘as far as women are concerned. He’s charming and witty and funny of course, but I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him.’
‘He’s not that bad,’ protested Harry half-heartedly as he started up the car.
‘He so is,’ said Josie. ‘Don’t you remember Suzie at uni? Poor cow was so in love with Ant, and I lost count of the number of girls he cheated on her with. And still she came back for more.’
‘I’d forgotten about her,’ said Harry.
‘Then there was the time we were out for my birthday and he started the evening with one girl and went home with another.’
‘Oh, God, and the time we met him at the cinema and he pretended not to see us because he was with the wife of the local landlord,’ said Harry. ‘I’d forgotten all that. But you never know. Maybe he’s changed since he’s been away.’
‘I doubt it,’ said Josie. ‘He hasn’t stopped sulking since you asked him to be best man. Anyone would think you were committing suicide the way he goes on about the fact that you’re getting married.’
‘Well, to Ant, marriage is a form of suicide,’ said Harry, as he turned left out of their road and headed for the main road which led to the motorway. ‘I can’t see him ever getting hitched. He’ll be trying to pull birds when he’s old and grey.’
‘Birds,’ groaned Diana. ‘Does he really use the word birds?’
‘Afraid so,’ said Josie, ‘but it’s all right, he doesn’t bite, honest.’
‘To be fair to him,’ said Harry, ‘I think there was someone after uni he was quite serious about, and she ditched him. He’s always been really cagey about it, but I think she really hurt him.’
‘Well then, maybe it’s time he got over it,’ said Diana.
‘Perhaps you can help,’ said Josie slyly.
‘Don’t look at me,’ said Di firmly, ‘he really doesn’t sound like my type.’
Within half an hour they were on the motorway and heading down to Cornwall, to Josie’s parents, where Josie’s mum was indulging in a spot of pre-wedding hysteria. After much dithering, Harry and Josie had only recently fixed the date for next June. They’d talked vaguely about September when they first got engaged, but it turned out getting married was like planning a military operation and no one in their right minds would attempt to organise a wedding in such a short space of time. Harry, who’d been hoping for something small and quiet, was beginning to realise his wishes were unlikely to be met. Josie’s mum, Nicola, had firmly taken charge since Christmas, and now most of their spare time seemed to be taken up with wedding plans. Harry was beginning to find it a little wearing.
Nicola had insisted on having a long weekend with Josie, Harry, the best man (Ant, naturally) and bridesmaid (Diana, of course), to plan things. Quite why he and Ant were needed was a mystery to Harry. So far his input into preparations was to have been told things, like what he had to wear (morning suit, top hat, and pink ties – Josie was very insistent on the pink) – who he was inviting (‘we get twenty-five friends each and twenty-five family, or in my case, forty family and twenty friends, as I have more family’), and where the event was going to take place (‘St Cuthbert’s of course,’ Josie’s mum opined, ‘it’s where we got married, and Josie was christened, and Reverend Paul has known her since she was little, so it’s perfect’).
Just recently, the tone of the long phone conversations Josie was having with her mum seemed to have ratcheted up a notch. Having read in a magazine that it was all the rage to have live entertainment in the evening, Josie had got a bee in her bonnet about having not only fireworks, but possibly hiring jugglers and magicians for the night. Harry’s protests about the money had been ignored – he was beginning to appreciate his fiancée had a steely side of which he’d been hitherto unaware – ‘Dad won’t mind,’ Josie had assured him, which was true. Josie’s dad Peter doted on his daughter and would spend any amount of money to keep her happy.
But Harry minded. Peter was always polite to him, but he had the distinct impression that his future father-in-law was disappointed that his daughter had come home not with a City magnate, but a lowly paid journalist without much ambition. Harry would much rather have had a smaller affair, to which he and Josie could contribute financially, without him feeling so indebted to Josie’s parents. Harry still felt his career had time to get going. He’d always wanted to get into travel journalism, and had been planning to join Ant out in Australia when he met up with Josie again. Since then, everything had happened so fast that Harry had laid aside his ambitions to see something of the world. And when he’d tried to talk about it to Josie, she’d laughed and said, ‘There’ll be plenty of time for that later.’ But the further the wedding preparations went on, the more he could feel that particular ambition receding, particularly as he had the sneaking suspicion that Nicola was already laying plans for them to move down to the neighbouring village as soon as they were able. She was a very forceful woman, and sometimes, he worried what Josie might be like in middle age – whether behind that mild-mannered image was a female tiger, just waiting to pounce on him. Harry sighed; he was beginning to wonder if he’d rushed into this marriage thing. He felt he was on a roller coaster and couldn’t get off.
‘Why the heavy sigh?’ said Josie. ‘Is anything wrong?’
The lightness of her touch on his arm, and her quick and ready sympathy were enough to bring him to his senses. He was marrying Josie, who was gorgeous, and everything he wanted in a woman. Of course it would be all right.
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Nothing at all. In fact, nothing could be more right.’
Diana was regretting the amount of packing she’d done for a weekend away. But she was nervous. She’d only met Josie’s parents once or twice when they’d come up to London to see Josie and they were so posh, they’d turned her into a gibbering wreck. She wasn’t often ashamed of her council house upbringing, but a few days with Josie’s mum and dad had managed to make her feel inadequate. Josie hid her privileged upbringing well, and because she was so kind, went out of her way to put people at ease, so most people who met her in London would have had no idea of the luxury awaiting her at home. Of course, she took that for granted too, and was often puzzled when Diana mentioned that she couldn’t afford something, giving a delicate little frown and a perplexed smile. With anyone else, Diana might have felt envious, particularly since she’d bagged such a great prize in Harry, but Josie was such a joy to be around, envy just seemed like the wrong emotion.
Harry was the kind of man any girl would be happy to have. Lovely, solid dependable Harry – a bit dull maybe for her tastes, but Diana had a soft spot for him. He was always kind and welcoming to her; she could do worse than have a Harry of her own. But men like Harry never came Diana’s way, which was partly her own fault of course. Diana had had to fight to get where she was – opposing her parents’ plans for her to go into law, to take advantage of the opportunities they never had, and choosing travel as a career instead (and the way that was going at the moment, she was going to have to admit to her dad soon it might have been a big mistake) – and learning the hard way that people let you down, especially in love. Josie had never had those kinds of experiences. Things had a habit of going her way, and sometimes that was an annoying trait in a best friend. But Josie was the kind of person it was impossible not to love, so Diana put such thoughts behind her as unworthy. She was the unkind one, Josie was not, and didn’t deserve anyone to be bitter and nasty about her.
‘So where are we meeting this friend of yours?’ Diana said, from her uncomfortable position in the back of the car, squashed up as she was against her big suitcase. She knew taking it had been a mistake, but she’d wanted to make sure she had something to wear for any occasion.
‘There’s a service station not far from Honiton,’ said Josie, ‘we thought we’d catch up with him there.’
‘And how soon will we be there?’ said Diana, looking at her watch. They seemed to have been in the car for hours, and she felt hot, cramped and awkward. Diana didn’t drive herself. Although she’d miraculously passed her test, after having a car in the first few months she’d lived in London she’d decided the stress of driving the mean city streets was far too much to be going along with. Besides, after three prangs in as many weeks, she couldn’t afford the insurance any more. As a result, most of her travelling was done by train, and she really hadn’t a clue how long this journey would take.
‘Not for another half an hour at least,’ said Josie. ‘Honestly, it’s like having a small child in the back. That’s the fourth time you’ve asked since we set off.’
‘Well, you two are like my surrogate mum and dad,’ grinned Diana. ‘Okay, I’m going to have a kip. Wake me when we get there.’
Josie was a bundle of nerves. It was only the second time she and Harry had visited her parents since their engagement, and this time she was bringing Diana and Ant. Her mother could be a terrible snob, and Josie knew that while she was too polite to say so, she thoroughly disapproved of Diana, whom she thought rather common. What she was going to make of Ant, the Lord only knew. Josie just hoped he could manage to keep his mouth shut and behave himself. Knowing Ant, that was highly unlikely.
She was also nervous about how Harry was going to get on with her parents. They seemed to like him, but she suspected they were slightly disappointed in her choice. They’d wanted her to marry someone in the City, not an impoverished journalist – her dad’s clumsy jokes about them starving in garrets making it clear what he really thought. It didn’t matter either that Josie had a good career in marketing and was earning enough for both of them, and that more importantly she loved Harry to pieces and had never been happier than the last few months when they’d been living together; her parents were desperately old-fashioned about life. As soon as Josie was married, she would be expected to stay at home and raise a family, which was why marrying someone rich was so important.
They couldn’t see that that was what appealed to Josie about Harry. That he wasn’t rich, didn’t set much store by all of that. He was kind and compassionate, and the loveliest person Josie knew. They’d originally met and had a brief fling on their English course at university years before, but the physical distance between them afterwards had meant they’d drifted away from one another. Meeting Harry again at Amy’s wedding, after years of dating unsuitable and complicated men and seeing how straightforward and uncomplicated he was, had made him instantly attractive. The fact that he didn’t earn much money didn’t matter. She earned enough for the pair of them.
It was a pity Mum and Dad didn’t see it like that. No doubt Dad at least, would be more impressed with Ant. He had the flash job and car, and was annoyingly good at charming the birds off the trees. Josie hoped Dad wouldn’t compare Harry unfavourably to his friend.
‘You all right, hon?’ she said to Harry, squeezing his knee hard. He was very quiet, and she had a feeling he was even more nervous than she was. It was going to be a long weekend.
‘Yeah, fine,’ he said. ‘Just hope I can get through the weekend without making too much of an idiot of myself.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Josie assured him, ‘Mum and Dad love you.’ She crossed her fingers behind her back while she said this. Perhaps if she wanted it to be true enough, it would be …
She looked at her watch, they’d been on the road for nearly three hours and they weren’t too far from Honiton now. Josie turned back to Diana who was snoring in the back.
‘Wakey, wakey, sleepyhead. We’re nearly there. Time to meet up with the man of your dreams.’
‘Wha-a?’ Diana jerked herself awake.
‘Just saying, we’re nearly at Honiton. And finally you get to meet Ant. It could be a match made in heaven.’
‘From everything you’ve said, I doubt it,’ snorted Diana.
‘You never know,’ said Josie, ‘he might surprise you.’
‘Hmm, we’ll see,’ said Diana, but Josie was amused to see she’d got out her compact and was anxiously checking to see her make-up hadn’t smudged.
‘The best man and bridesmaid have to get together,’ declared Josie. ‘It’s the law.’
‘In your dreams, pal,’ said Diana, chucking an empty crisp packet at her friend. ‘I’m happily single, and however good-looking the best man is, that’s how I plan to stay.’
Ant sat leaning on his convertible, sipping a coffee, and smoking a cigarette. The sun was very bright and the sky a clear blue, so the sunglasses he had put on, part affectation, part a means of deflecting the hangover from the night before, had turned out useful. His head was pounding and he could have done with a couple of hours more kip. God, he wished he hadn’t been persuaded to go to Cornwall for the weekend to meet Harry’s new in-laws. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d even agreed to do it, but Harry was his best mate. And despite being certain that he was making a huge mistake, Ant felt duty bound to support him, and even he had to concede, certain as he was that it would all go pearshaped, Josie was pretty gorgeous and a lovely person to boot. If Harry hadn’t got in there first … In fact, thinking about it, how had Harry got in there first? From memory it was Ant who had introduced them at some party or other. And then she’d invited them all down to her place one summer. Ant felt sure he’d gone down with the express intention of nabbing Josie, but it hadn’t happened. Unbelievable that Josie could have possibly chosen dull old Harry over him.
He looked at his watch. Harry had thought they’d be arriving around midday, but there was no sign of them, yet. Ant had been at a sales conference in Salisbury (hence the hangover) and come straight on from there. He checked his BlackBerry and dealt with a few outstanding work issues, before ringing up Harry to see where he’d got to.
‘Harry, where are you, mate? I’m feeling like a right idiot standing here in this car park on my own.’
