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‘He physically hurt you?’ ‘Sometimes … yes.’
He bit out something that was clearly a savage expression of disgust. ‘I am very sorry to hear you say that. But I am not sorry to hear that such a man is no longer in your life! Accident or not, you are clearly much better off without him!’
Her throat starting to ache, Laura sensed the encroaching tide of anguished memory skirt too close for comfort, and mentally willed it to back off. It was a technique she’d learned to save her sanity. It was rare that she spoke about Mark and his treatment of her—to anyone. Not even her parents. Keeping the wounding memories at bay sometimes felt like a fulltime job, but she had no desire to wallow in pain and regret or even self-pity. Time and time again she told herself it was the future she should concentrate on … not the past.
‘Anyway … it’s a part of my life I try not to think about too often. I’m sure you can understand that? These things can either shape you or break you, and I’d take drastic steps before I let that happen!’ A small heartfelt sigh escaped into the fragrant air. ‘And what about you, Fabian?’ All Laura’s muscles clenched hard as she succumbed to her own curiosity about him … In the deepening dusk, his arrestingly sculpted face was thrown partly into shadow. Yet still the wariness that he wore like a shield was startlingly evident. ‘Presumably … with this estate to run and everything … you would like children too?’ she continued.
‘I have made you sad, reminding you of the past.’ Abruptly getting to his feet, it was clear that Fabian had no intention of answering Laura right then. ‘Let us continue our walk, and I promise not to upset you with any more difficult questions … si?’
As she stood up, her mind busy with pondering why he could ask her about her desire for children but she could not do the same to him, he put his hand against her back, and once again her skin registered his touch like a ray of heat that scorched right through her clothing to leave her tingling. ‘Okay …’
They walked on in silence for a while, and gradually Laura’s tension around Fabian began to ebb a little.
‘I’m trying to imagine what it must have been like, growing up in a place like this,’ she announced suddenly, drinking in the stunning vista all around her. ‘Your own enchanted forest!’
‘Enchanted?’ His voice was devoid of the pleasure she had half expected to hear in it. ‘I suppose to someone viewing it from the outside it might look like that.’
His tone hinted at bitterness and regret, and it made Laura wonder about the extent of his father’s cruelty. Her chest tightened in sympathy. Instead of pursuing her curiosity about his past, she decided to contain it for another day.
Turning his back, Fabian led her down a narrow winding pathway edged with a riot of colourful exotic blooms, and through an arbour of roses that led into yet another exquisite garden, bursting with colour and scent.
Laura drank it all in—the beauty, the night and the man—and the startling realisation came to her that she longed for these stunning moments never to come to an end.
CHAPTER FIVE
IT MADE sense that she was a widow. What else but a tragedy could have put that distant yet undeniable hurt in her pale grey eyes?
The following afternoon, watching Laura from the long windows of the office as she conversed on the lawn with the catering supervisor of the company they’d hired to provide the food and drink for the concert attendees, Fabian reflected on why he had held back on the proposition he had been going to put to her. Was two years long enough to get over the death of her husband and the cruel legacy of memory he must have left her with? Had she loved him, despite his cruelty? And had her experience coloured her view of all future possibilities of another relationship?
Last night had not been the time to quiz her on any of this. But, despite all his unanswered questions, it came to him that under the circumstances she might well welcome a partnership where there was no emotional expectation involved or required other than that she be a devoted mother and the kind of respectful wife whom not a breath of scandal would ever touch to shame him. In return Fabian could give Laura many things that would help make life good for her … a sense of security and stability, for one thing, and a guarantee that both she and their offspring would never want for anything. Would that be enough to persuade her to become his wife?
‘I can’t believe the concert is tomorrow night! It feels like everything is coming together at last—fingers crossed! And I’ve a feeling it’s going to be just wonderful!’
She breezed into the room, a clutch of papers in a see-through folder against her chest, her hair slightly tousled from the welcome breeze that had sprung up that morning. Fabian glanced up from the list of phone calls he had yet to make and spied a speck of white at the corner of her mouth. Getting to his feet, he wandered across to where she stood and inspected the mark more closely.
‘You appear to have some cream at the side of your mouth,’ he told her, and before Laura could do anything about it he reached towards her and smoothed it away with his fingers. Her eyes went round as dinner plates.
‘Maria gave me some cake a while ago. I should have checked in a mirror. I’ve been standing there talking to Signor Minetti from the catering company for the past twenty minutes!’
‘It was barely noticeable.’ Smiling, Fabian reflected that he liked her confusion, and the way she blushed so readily. But right then he had other, more important considerations to contemplate. His face turned suddenly serious. ‘We will take some time out,’ he announced, catching her by the elbow and guiding her back to where he’d been working. He nodded towards the padded seat on the other side of the desk that had been left there for visitors. ‘Sit down, Laura.’
‘Did I tell you that some of the stars from the opera are coming over this evening to rehearse?’ she asked him, still clutching the sheaf of papers against her emerald-green dress and clearly nervous.
‘Yes, you did … twice, as a matter of fact.’
‘Oh …’ She pursed her lips, then blew out a long breath. It made a silky strand of yellow hair dance across her cheek. ‘Maria is organising some refreshments afterwards, and they’d like you to join them. Did I tell you that?’
‘I believe I am fully up to date with what is happening this evening, so you do not need to worry.’
‘Good … I mean bene.’
‘Why don’t you just try and relax? You seem a little agitated today.’
‘I’m not agitated! Just excited, I suppose … about the concert tomorrow, I mean.’
Resting his elbows on the desk with a sigh, Fabian linked his hands together and studied Laura for several seconds before continuing. He told himself he could wait for the right time for ever, so what he had to say might as well be now.
‘So … there is another matter I wanted to discuss with you. But first let me ask you how you like the Villa de Rosa and being here in Tuscany?’
‘I like it very much. How could anyone not like such a place? It’s as close to paradise as I can think of!’
It threw Fabian for a minute, the sheer pleasure that her ready, artless smile conveyed. Of course her affirmation was somewhat at odds with his own feelings about the place he’d grown up in—the place that his father had turned into one of the most enviable houses in Italy and been so fiercely possessive of. So much so that he had actively resented passing it on to his son—but Laura did not know that.
‘Then it would not be in the realms of impossibility to imagine yourself living here?’
‘Are you offering me a permanent position working for you?’
The idea aroused mixed feelings in Laura, although the most prevalent one that she held deep inside her heart was elation. She’d so wanted to write a new, positive chapter to her life, and maybe this was the chance she’d been praying for? Fabian’s touch still lingered at the side of her mouth, where he’d wiped away the whipped cream Maria’s cake had left behind, and an awareness had slowly but surely taken root inside her that she more than liked this man. And that was where her doubts crept in about working for him …
‘No. That is not what I am offering you at all!’
His reply was surprisingly terse. Crushing disappointment poured ice water over the joy she’d felt.
‘I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to assume—’
‘There is no need to apologise. Let me not waste any more time getting to the point. I am suggesting a proposition that I would very much like you to give your serious consideration.’ He drew his hand across the black open-necked shirt he wore, briefly distracting her. ‘You asked me last night whether I wanted children. The answer is yes … of course. I need an heir, just like any other man in my position.’
Rubbing the furrow between his brows, he sighed as if he carried the cares of the world on his shoulders.
‘Perhaps now would be an appropriate time to tell you that I was also married when I was very young—to a girl I discovered after I had wed her did not confine her favours to her husband alone. Her behaviour brought shame on me, and made me realise that I had let my lust for her blind me to other less than desirable qualities of hers. Such a woman was not fit to be a mother, in my opinion, and I had no choice but to divorce her. Since then I have been too preoccupied with work and running this estate to enter into another serious relationship. But in order to have the heir that I wish for I obviously need a wife too. What I am proposing, Laura, is that you enter into a strictly business arrangement with me to achieve both those ends. In return you will lead a comfortable, prosperous life as the mistress of the Villa de Rosa and the mother of my child. You need not ever work again, if you do not wish to—although of course I will honour whatever decision you make in that area, as long as they reasonably fit in with my own.
‘You do not have to answer me straight away … you will no doubt wish to take the proper time to think things over before telling me what you have decided. I realise we have only known each other for just a short time, but in that time you have made quite an impression on me. I have learned that you are hard-working and talented, and clearly not motivated by money or fame. You have a quiet, relaxing presence and my staff—especially Maria—are already clearly fond of you. Add to that your obvious regard for children, and Carmela’s assurance that you are completely reliable … all these things together are enough to convince me that you and I would work very well together as a couple and make a success of such a marriage.’
It was as though a cyclone had swept through the room and left her stunned and dazed. It had appeared out of nowhere without warning … After such a shocking visit, the room and herself would never be the same again. In contrast, Fabian radiated extreme calm—the absolute antithesis of her own wild tumult.
‘I can hardly take it in … Are you being serious?’
The plastic wallet of papers slid out of her grip and onto her lap. She grabbed it just in time before it fell onto the floor.
‘Do you think I am making a joke?’ He scowled. ‘I know my proposition may come as something of a surprise, even a shock, but trust me … I do not come to such decisions lightly or without giving them the proper consideration and thought.’
‘But if you are in earnest about such a proposal … why pick me?’
The tanned skin between Fabian’s golden brows tightened perceptibly. ‘I have just told you why.’
‘Have you? All I heard was a list of my supposed attributes, as though I was some useful household object you were thinking of acquiring! You haven’t begun to explain your reasons as to why you would want such a strange arrangement!’
‘It may seem strange to you, but it is entirely practical in my view. I have told you that I want a family, like any other man in my position, but what I do not want or need is emotional entanglement. I have no illusions about love affairs … none at all! And something as important as marriage should be entered into with a clear head, in my view. Letting emotions dictate your future life with someone, when those very same emotions are merely transient states, only ensures that the outcome will probably be the divorce court! That is why I have proposed what I have proposed.’
Laura shivered. ‘Transient states? You don’t believe that two people can fall in love? That that love might last a lifetime?’
‘That is just a foolish hope perpetuated by dreamers. I do not mean to distress you, Laura, but look at your own situation.’
‘Just because things turned out the way they did with Mark, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have hopes once upon a time that we would have a marriage that lasted the test of time!’
‘That is just what I mean!’
Her face fell.
‘You were still in love with him at the end? Despite his ill treatment of you?’
‘No, I wasn’t in love with him … But that doesn’t mean I’d stopped caring about him! My feelings were confused … Mostly I felt pity for the tormented, disappointed man he’d become … for the reasons he’d let drink get such a hold on him. But that wasn’t my point!’
Those wide shoulders of his lifted in a shrug. ‘Be honest with yourself … Under the circumstances, it was not very likely that your marriage would have lasted the test of time. And I am a pragmatist … a realist about life. In my situation I have to be.’
‘And does your pragmatism extend to the bedroom? Because presumably you have realised that having a child together would involve some kind of intimacy? Or am I supposed to visit a clinic and be impregnated from a sample in a test tube?’
His answering expletive was short and sharp. ‘Do not insult me! Of course I know what is required, and I do not foresee any difficulty in that area of our marriage. We are young and healthy, and when we are alone together nature will no doubt take its course.’
‘Well …’ Staring at him as though seeing him for the first time, and hardly able to contain the contradiction of feelings and emotions that coursed through her, Laura rose slowly to her feet. ‘You seem to have it all sorted out nicely. I have a question for you, Fabian … Did you think of asking me to enter into this marriage with you because you think a man couldn’t fall in love with a woman like me? A woman with a difficult marriage in her past, that literally ended in disaster, as well as a disfiguring scar?’
‘Your scar does not make you any less attractive! Surely you must know that? And as for your marriage—you are right. It is in the past! It does not mean that you cannot make better choices in the present! Choices that will enhance your life and not impede it. I would not treat you cruelly, Laura … you have my word on that. And I would give you the children we both desire! Is that really so abhorrent?’
She felt so torn. It was becoming extremely clear to Laura that the more time she spent with Fabian, the more attached to him she would become. But he had as good as told her she could never hope for him to love her. Yet the idea of bearing his children—children she already knew she would love and protect with everything that was in her—was anything but abhorrent!
Could she really compromise her own need for love to enter into a marriage of convenience with this man? But then she’d married Mark because she’d believed he loved her and would never willingly hurt her. See where that mistaken thinking had got her!
Her breath was exhaled in the longest sigh. ‘I will think about your proposal. That’s all I can say about it right now. But just to let you know … even though my first marriage failed—rightly or wrongly—I still have the idea that marriage should involve a lot more than clear-headed logic! Perhaps I am one of those foolish dreamers that you so disdain? Excuse me. I should get back to work now. The opera company are coming this evening and I—’
‘I am pleased that you are prepared to think over my offer. I really believe that when you have considered all the facts you will see the sense and opportunity in it, Laura. And, if you accept, it will bring more benefits to you than you realise.’
Suddenly he was in front of her, his spicy cologne, blazing blue eyes and the heat emanating from his body crowding her senses and knocking down every one of her poorly equipped defences against him. Laura clung onto the sheaf of papers she held against her chest as though it was some kind of lifeline, thrown to her in the midst of a choppy ocean where she was under dire threat of drowning. He moved, and suddenly his long cool palms were enclosing the tops of her arms. She fought with everything she had to try and desensitise herself against his touch, but that was an outcome that was doomed to failure from the moment he’d stepped close.
Her lower lip quivered helplessly. ‘Please … let me go. I can’t afford to waste any more time this afternoon.’
When Laura thought Fabian was going to release her, he shockingly outwitted her. Almost before she realised what was happening his hands had locked tight around her arms, his chest pressed against hers—and he kissed her. Scorching heat spread over the tender skin of her mouth and consumed her in a sensual conflagration. If she were a forest, she would be charred wood and ashes by now. Making a small husky sound of need in her throat, she let his tongue invade her, and willingly drowned in a sea of hot masculine demand that drove away every ounce of caution and doubt completely.
Seconds ticked by in languorous slow motion, and Laura entered a world of the senses she’d only guessed existed before now. Somehow his fingers were sliding over her scalp, pushing through the tousled strands of her yellow hair with destroying erotic ease and the mercenary kiss—because she didn’t doubt that was what it was—deepened and made her shake. The wallet of papers slid unheeded to the floor, and she held on to his lean hard torso so that she wouldn’t lose her balance. Having no head for heights, she knew of the debilitating effects of vertigo, but this feeling of utter disorientation was even more terrifying.
‘You see?’ Fabian drawled, provocatively disengaging his sensual lips from hers, his clear blue gaze slightly amused. ‘There is nothing to fear about intimacy between us. We will do very well in that regard, as I already knew we would. Now, as delightfully distracting as this is, we do—as you so rightly said—need to get back to work. I think we will talk about this matter again after the concert … agreed?’
Amid the laughter and sense of heightened anticipation that hung in the air of the luxurious salon on the eve of the anniversary concert, where his elegantly attired guests were enjoying the champagne, bowls of lush Tuscan olives and delicious antipasti that Maria and her kitchen staff had provided for the occasion, Fabian found himself from time to time thinking about the sensual impact of the kiss that he and Laura had shared. His skin prickled with sultry demanding heat every time he did so.
The kind of convenient marriage he had proposed to her would have its compensations, he discovered. It would not hurt that he was physically attracted to her and she to him. Oh how he had felt the violent tremors pulsing through her body as he held her! In light of his need for an heir, this was a positive plus! Yet she had been so quiet all the rest of that afternoon—her attention consumed by the demands of the concert, only speaking to Fabian when she absolutely had to. The heightened anticipation that he personally was going through was not about the coming performance tomorrow night, but about the final answer that Laura had promised she would give him concerning his proposal.
A world-famous tenor was shaking his hand and talking about the last time they’d met in Rome for lunch, saying they should do it again soon. Fabian hardly heard him, he was so caught up in his own distracting thoughts. Where was she? He glanced round the room across the big man’s shoulder. She’d still been at work when he’d left the office earlier, to go and get ready for the evening, but surely she had finished what she’d been doing by now? She had better put in an appearance soon, because he needed her here to help entertain his guests. He had noted how good Laura was at putting people at their ease, despite not being totally fluent in the language.
When she did arrive, she slid into the room almost unnoticed amid the melee of people. Fabian registered her appearance with relief and then curiosity. Wearing a demure long-sleeved cream smock with white palazzo pants—her expression a little guarded—she did not look as relaxed as she might. It was the sultriest of evenings, and most of the other females in the room were attired in far more revealing outfits in comparison.
Laura always seemed to be intent on covering up, Fabian noticed. Was she really so painfully self-conscious about her own slender form? When they were married, he would have to see what he could do about that. Perhaps when they shared a bed together he would teach her to be less self-conscious, even proud of what Mother Nature had gifted her with? The highly charged thought revived the languorous heat in his body, and he realised he was very close to being aroused.
Having wished his final guest farewell, Fabian returned to the salon to find Laura chatting to Maria as the housekeeper and two of her young staff began the clear-up after the drinks party. After congratulating the older woman on a job well done, and sharing a gentle good-humoured joke, he drew Laura out onto the moonlit veranda through the opened patio doors to talk to her.
‘You handled that very well tonight. Several of my guests commented on how charming you were,’ he told her, opening the single button on his stylish sports jacket to reveal the perfectly smooth black T-shirt he wore underneath.
‘So many well-known faces from the world of opera!’ she breathed, waving her hand in front of her too-warm face. ‘I’m not generally starstruck, but I had to pinch myself one or two times to convince myself it wasn’t all a dream!’
‘I think they would have been even more impressed with you if they had had the privilege of hearing you sing.’
‘With their phenomenal talent? No way! That would be like comparing a thoroughbred race horse to a nag.’ Folding her arms across her chest, Laura grimaced self-deprecatingly.
‘A nag?’
‘A horse that’s been put out to grass … a non-starter.’
‘Why do you underestimate your talents so? I do not understand.’
‘Perhaps it’s just the way we Brits look at life. We don’t believe in getting above ourselves.’
‘And I do not believe in such ridiculous false modesty! When you have a talent—and a talent such as yours—you should be proud, not act as though you are embarrassed about it and try to hide it away!’
Studying those faintly disapproving lips of his, Laura remembered the languid, earth-shattering kiss they’d shared earlier—though it was true to say it had been almost constantly on her mind ever since … that and Fabian’s startling proposition. Now, because of it, she had the sense of tumbling at speed down a steep rocky incline, with no prospect of anything to halt her flight except even more rocks.
‘I have no illusions about love affairs … none at all’, he’d almost violently asserted, and she had known in that instant that his ex-wife’s betrayal had destroyed his faith in love. He’d never got it back. Secretly her heart went out to him, but she had been hurt too—and badly—yet she knew she had not surrendered all hope of loving and being loved again.
‘Returning to the concert,’ he said now, rubbing his hand round his strikingly sculpted, smoothly shaved jaw. ‘I want you front of house with me, and I also want you to announce the performers.’
‘What?’
‘You have earned the right, Laura.’
His voice had all the fiercely powerful magic of a tropical moonlit night enfolding her, and he slid his hand underneath the weight of her hair and stroked the side of her neck. The melting, liquid feeling this induced was turning her bones to rubber again, and she opened her grey eyes very wide as her gaze spilled into his. She knew she should pull away, put some distance between them to show him she wasn’t going to fall like some windfall apple right into his hands, but somehow she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
‘I’ve only done the job you hired me to do,’ she replied quietly. ‘And perhaps you’d better stop touching me like this … somebody might see.’
‘I have made you an offer of marriage, Laura. Do you think that when my staff know that they will be surprised that I want to touch you?’
At his unexpected, somewhat provocative answer, Laura finally found the will to withdraw from him. ‘In your own words, you have made me a business proposition—and now you’re acting like it’s a real marriage you’re proposing!’
‘When we are married, it will be a real marriage—in almost every sense.’
‘Will it? That’s not the impression I got at all.’ Shivering, Laura turned her back on him, so that he wouldn’t see the sudden glimmer of moisture in her eyes. He might believe he could live without love, but she knew differently. To exist without love meant you were consigning yourself to only half a life. After what she had been through and survived, she wanted so much more than that. ‘And you’re talking like my mind has been made up, as if I’ve already agreed to your proposal, when I haven’t!’
‘Then I apologise, if you think I am putting unfair pressure on you.’ Fabian’s hands were on her shoulders, turning her back to face him. There was a slight shift of awareness in his expression—almost surprise—as he registered her emotion. ‘I will wait for your answer until after the concert, as we agreed.’
The white diaphanous curtains at the patio doors blew up in a sudden fierce gust, and the tension in the air seemed to thicken. ‘I think we’re going to have rain tonight,’ Laura murmured, her blood heating because he was touching her again. ‘Maybe even a storm.’ Mark’s touch had never made her feel like this … not even at the beginning of their marriage. And in the end … she’d hardly been able to bear him touching her at all …
‘If you are frightened of storms, my bedroom is just along the corridor from yours, Laura.’
