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It was. Earlier in the day the housekeeper had announced her intention of spending the evening with her married daughter.
His eyes on Caroline’s transparent face, Matthew said sardonically, ‘However, if you feel more at home in the kitchen, when I’ve showered and changed I’ll join you there.’
He appeared to be back to his cool, disciplined self, and, watching him walk away, she wondered shakily what had provoked that burning display of anger, that need to deride and dominate.
Surely not just the use of his name in a child’s fairy tale?
She felt a cold shiver run through her. He had never tried to disguise the fact that he didn’t like her, but for that short space of time he had appeared almost to hate her.
Yet he had kissed her like a man who was starving.
As she made her somewhat unsteady way to the kitchen the remembrance filled her with disturbing and conflicting emotions.
Just one kiss, nevertheless it had altered everything. It had destroyed her composure, banished any slight feeling of peace or security she had gained, and reinforced how perilous her being here was.
A meal had been left ready, and while she put the chicken casserole into the microwave and began to set the table she was beset by a different anxiety. What did Matthew want to talk to her about? Her month’s trial time was almost completed, so had he decided to get rid of her?
No, surely not. She tried to be practical. He knew Caitlin had accepted her, and he needed a nanny.
Then what? Had he somehow discovered who she was?
No, if he had he would have turned her out immediately. She remembered only too clearly the look of loathing on his face that awful night as, white-lipped, he’d said with a fury no less devastating for being quiet, ‘I want you out of my house first thing in the morning. I never want to have to set eyes on you again.’
Shivering, she made an attempt to push the painful memory away. It had happened a long time ago, and was part of the past she tried so hard not to think about.
In a way, coming to work here had been madness, but she couldn’t regret taking the chance fate had offered her. Yet it left her open to even more heartache, she thought despairingly, if her brief happiness was about to come to an end.
The click of the latch made her jump.
Though she had thought herself prepared, her heart turned over at the sight of him. He had changed into an olive-green polo-necked shirt and casual trousers, and looked both dangerously attractive and formidable.
He had a way of moving, an arrogant tilt to his dark head, an almost feline grace and symmetry that, combined with his extraordinary eyes, had always put her in mind of a black panther. She felt her mouth go dry.
While she removed the casserole from the oven he took a bottle of white wine from the fridge, and, having opened it, he asked, ‘Why only one glass?’
‘I don’t usually drink,’ she answered simply.
His eyes clouding with anger, or impatience, he went to get a second glass. ‘I know that’s what you told me, but just this once I won’t hold it against you.’
As he filled the glasses she put a bowl of fluffy rice and a tossed green salad on the table, and took the chair opposite his.
With easy authority, he served both her and himself before picking up his fork.
For a while they ate without speaking, until, needing to break the silence, striving for normality, she asked, ‘Have you had a good trip?’
The chiselled lips twisted. ‘You sound for all the world like a dutiful wife.’
‘I’m sorry. I was just trying to be pleasant.’
‘While I’m being anything but?’
Then, with that sudden change of direction which seemed designed to fluster her, he said, ‘The day I gave you the job, I mentioned that Caitlin was my stepbrother’s child.’
Though it was more a statement than a question, he was clearly waiting for an answer, and she nodded.
‘You didn’t ask what had become of him.’ Watching the colour drain out of her face, leaving it ashen, he added, ‘I wonder why?’
Her voice sounding hollow, echoing inside her own head, she said, ‘I didn’t consider it was any of my business.’
‘I’ll tell you all the same. It’s three years today since he was killed in an accident. That’s why I’m in such a black mood...’
As she stared at him transfixed, unable to move or speak, like someone mortally wounded, he added, ‘So perhaps you’ll forgive me?’
It seemed an age before she was able to say through bloodless lips, ‘Of course...I’m sorry.’
He reached to refill the glasses. ‘I take it you’ve had no worries over Caitlin while I’ve been away?’
Gathering herself, Caroline said, ‘No, she’s been fine. She’s missed you, of course, and asked about you every day.’
‘She calls me Daddy?’
‘Yes.’
‘I haven’t discouraged her, as I’m hoping to legally adopt her.’ Then with no change of tone, he asked, ‘Have you made any special plans for tomorrow?’
‘Special plans?’
‘It’s Caitlin’s birthday.’
He watched Caroline catch her breath while she absorbed the shock.
‘I—I didn’t realise... No one mentioned it...’ Seeing his face harden with unaccountable anger, she stammered, ‘W-was that what you wanted to talk to me about?’
‘Amongst other things. But we’ll deal with that first.’
Her stunned mind trying to cope with the possibilities, Caroline suggested, ‘When I take her to playschool tomorrow morning, I’ll talk to the mothers of her special friends and see if I can fix an afternoon party, with a cake and—’
‘That won’t be necessary. Before I went away I arranged a party at McDonalds which includes a cake and a magician and all the trimmings. About a dozen of Caitlin’s friends will be there.’
Feeling as though she’d been slapped, Caroline swallowed hard. ‘I’m sorry you didn’t think to mention it sooner... I haven’t even got a birthday present for her.’
‘There’s really no need for you to give her anything.’
‘I’d like to.’
‘Very well. If you want to choose something, have tomorrow morning off. I’ll be home all day.’
‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly. Then, trying to sound as if it didn’t matter, ‘Will you be taking her to the party?’
‘Yes, I’d planned to take her. Why? Do you want the whole day off?’
‘No. I—I just wondered.’
Getting to her feet, doing her best to hide her disappointment, Caroline cleared away the first course and, when he shook his head at the chocolate tart, reached for the pot of coffee.
As she filled both their cups he asked idly, ‘Have you any plans for the festive season?’
‘No.’
‘Good. I’m intending to spend Christmas away from home...’
Though she knew it was unwise, to say the least, Caroline had hoped to see at least something of Matthew over the holiday. Now, despite the pleasure being with the child would bring, disappointment made her voice a little flat as she said, ‘So you want me to stay here with Caitlin?’
‘No, I want you both to come upstate with me. I own a country club and health spa on Clear Lake.’
Caroline went icy cold with shock, as though every drop of warm blood had drained from her body.
‘Have you ever been to a health spa?’
‘No... I—I know nothing about such places.’
‘Then it’s high time you did. Can you swim?’
Panic-stricken, she lied, ‘No.’
‘Then this will be an ideal opportunity to have some expert tuition.’
But the idea of going back to Clear Lake, where she’d once been so rapturously happy, filled her with a bleak anguish.
He picked it up instantly. ‘You don’t seem to like the idea?’
She voiced the only protest she could think of. ‘But you’re paying me to look after Caitlin, not learn how to swim.’
‘By next year Caitlin should be swimming well herself, and it will be useful if you’re already experienced and can accompany her.’
He was talking about next year as if he expected her to still be here. Caroline warmed herself with the thought, before objecting, ‘But someone would have to look after her while I—’
“‘Someone” will. The spa is family orientated. As well as a highly trained staff we have a number of experienced nursemaids and a babysitting service. Last year we started to run a special nursery and a toddler’s activity centre. It keeps the younger children engaged and happy and allows parents to give their nannies a holiday—’ he gave her a mocking glance ‘—white they do their own thing.
‘The scheme was my suggestion, and I’d like to try it out first-hand.’ Smoothly sarcastic, he added, ‘That is, unless you have any objections?’
The very last thing she wanted to do was accompany Matthew to Clear Lake, but he employed her, and she could hardly refuse to go.
After watching the changing expressions flit across her face, he queried, ‘Well?’
She shook her head. ‘No, I haven’t any objections.’
‘Good, then that’s settled. Can you be ready to go straight after the party tomorrow? Caitlin is at an age where sitting in a car can be boring, but if we travel up during the evening, she’ll probably sleep most of the way.’
When, late afternoon the following day, they left New York City, fresh snow had been falling for almost an hour. White and clean and crisp, it covered the sidewalks, clung to lampposts and buildings, and formed pointed caps on each set of red and green traffic lights.
But the main routes upstate were clear, and their journey, north through the snowy evening in the big four-wheel drive that Matthew had taken in place of his usual Jaguar was trouble-free and comfortable.
As he had foreseen, Caitlin, who had been bathed and changed and tucked into a cosy sleeping-bag, slept soundly, and for the first few miles only the shush of the tyres and the swish of the wiper blades broke the silence.
Caroline watched the swirling flakes without really seeing them, her thoughts on that afternoon’s birthday party.
She had dressed Caitlin in the special party frock and matching ribbons she herself had bought that morning, and when Matthew, who had come through to collect the child, had said merely, ‘My, don’t you look pretty,’ she had experienced a surge of relief.
‘Can Caro come with us?’ Caitlin asked.
His head came up and, sounding annoyed, he asked, ‘Why does she call you Caro?’
‘I suggested it,’ Caroline admitted.
‘Wouldn’t Nanny have been more appropriate?’
Caroline swallowed. ‘I thought she might have called her grandmother that...some children do...’
‘Can she come, Daddy?’ Caitlin persisted.
‘Would you like her to?’
The child nodded vigorously.
His green gaze on Caroline’s face, Matthew queried. ‘Have you anything better to do?’
‘No, I’d love to come,’ she said eagerly.
Too eagerly, she’d realised later, but she had been so delighted to get the chance to go, she had forgotten to be cautious.
The party had proved a great success. Though if Caroline had known how often Matthew’s gaze had remained fixed on her rather than on Caitlin, she would have been alarmed.
But she was so taken up with watching the child, her heart in her eyes, that for her the only flaw had been the awful moment when one of the staff had referred to her as ‘Mrs Carran’, and she had seen the frozen look on Matthew’s face.
As though reading her thoughts, he broke the silence to ask a shade ironically, ‘So, did you enjoy the party?’
Warning herself to be careful this time, she answered casually, ‘Oh, yes. I’ve always liked children’s parties. Watching their expressions, the way they react, can be quite fascinating.’
‘I thought with so many youngsters to keep an eye on you might be sorry you went?’
‘Oh, no, I was happy to be there.’
‘Though perhaps you should have worn a uniform after all.’ There was a sudden bite to his voice. ‘The staff thought you were Caitlin’s mother.’
Feeling as though she’d been pierced through the heart, Caroline sat still and silent, gripped by a kind of dread, a fear of some impending blow.
But with a swift change of subject, he queried, ‘Have you ever been to Clear Lake before?’
