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‘One with a reasonable address, if possible,’ Dave decreed. ‘Where you are can make a big difference.’
Finding something that fitted the bill was easier said than done. The rents were astronomical. Then, when they’d almost given up hope, in a rather rundown building just off the Edgware Road, they found what they wanted.
Or at least the best they could afford.
That first hurdle over, it meant changes all round. Dave would no doubt want to move, and when she had worked her notice at the hotel, she would need to find somewhere else to live.
Full of barely suppressed excitement, she waited for Dave to suggest they find a small flat and move in together. When he said nothing, she plucked up courage and broached the subject herself.
He shook his head. ‘I was planning to stay where I am. Apart from the fact that Tony needs my help with the rent, it’s cheap and reasonably comfortable, and handy for the tube.’
‘But I thought we could be together…’
‘Too much of a temptation, kiddo.’
‘Oh, but surely—’
‘Look, we have to be sensible about this. We need time to build up the business before we can afford to take any chances. If you got pregnant where would we be? Right up the creek without a paddle. Say we give ourselves a year…’
A year…
‘For that length of time we’ll need to work all hours, seven days a week. Then if everything’s going well we’ll start to relax a bit, get married, tie the knot in the good old-fashioned way. Tell you what, as soon as we’ve been paid for our first job, I’ll buy you an engagement ring.’
She couldn’t help but think it sounded like a sop.
Seeing she still looked far from happy, he added, ‘Oh, and as it’s your money that’s getting us started, I think you should rate as senior partner, and your name come first on our business cards.
‘After all,’ he added magnanimously, as she began to shake her head, ‘You’ve more than pulled your weight.’
She really didn’t care whose name came first. Just his praise would have been enough.
After a fortnight of fruitless searching, her luck changed and she found a one-roomed flat complete with a kitchenette and a tiny bathroom at a rent she could just about afford. It was within walking distance of the office, which meant she would save on tube fares.
Having bought a small second-hand van, Dave had promised to help her move in her few possessions, but when the time came he was busy, so she managed on the tube with a couple of battered suitcases.
Her new flat was cramped and shabby and three flights up, but the bed-settee was reasonably comfortable, and compared to the room she had lived in for the past four years, it was the height of luxury.
She felt like a queen.
As soon as she was settled, she set about furnishing and repainting the office. That done, inside a week they were in business. Their printed cards read:
Smith and Benson
Computer and Communication Systems Installed
Within a few days they had established contact with the necessary suppliers, and secured their first job.
It was heady stuff.
Her only disappointment was that she still saw very little of Dave. When they weren’t actually working, he was always out and about trying to drum up business.
Once or twice he took her to the cinema, or to eat in some cheap restaurant. He never came to her flat.
‘Avoiding temptation…’ he told her, when she suggested he came round occasionally. ‘If you’re lonely, buy a second-hand telly.’
Used to being on her own, she wasn’t exactly lonely, she just missed him, and a television was the last thing she wanted. Books and music had always been her pleasure and her solace.
Some three months later, after they had been paid for their first job, true to his word, Dave bought her an engagement ring.
Slipping it onto her finger he asked, ‘There what do you think of that?’
A twist, with a couple of small zircons, it was clearly inexpensive, and at least one size too large, but she was thrilled with it.
‘As soon as the money starts rolling in, we’ll change it for diamonds,’ he promised.
She didn’t need diamonds. The ring he had put on her finger meant everything to her. Commitment. A future together. Love.
Perhaps afraid of the answer, she had never asked the question before, but now as he kissed her, she said, ‘Dave, do you love me?’
‘Course I do.’
‘It’s just that you’ve never told me.’
‘I’m not very good with words, but you must know I love you. We’re a pair. A partnership. I don’t know what I’d do without you…’
For the next few weeks that assurance had kept her floating on cloud nine.
As they neared the end of December, finding they had finished their current job and had nothing else on their books until early January, Eleanor started to plan for their best Christmas and New Year ever. Dave’s birthday was on the thirty-first of December, so it would be a double celebration.
When, wanting his input, she mentioned her plans, he said, ‘I’m sorry but I won’t be here. I’ve more than earned a break, so I’m joining Tony and the boys on a cheap trip to Belgium. We go on the twenty-fourth and come back January the second.’
‘Oh, but I thought we’d be spending Christmas and New Year together—’
‘I can’t afford to miss this chance. It’ll be the first holiday I’ve had for years. Pity it’s a men only, boozy thing, but that’s the way it goes. I’ll bring you back a present to make up for it.
‘I don’t suppose there’ll be much doing as regards business. Between Christmas and New Year is a bit of a dead period, so why don’t you have a break?
‘All you really need to do is pop into the office each day to check for mail and emails…’
So once again she had found herself facing the prospect of a solitary Christmas and New Year. But refusing to give way to gloom, she had decorated her tiny flat with holly and mistletoe, made mince pies, and stocked up with library books and CDs.
Christmas Eve she had gone to hear a carol concert, and Christmas morning she had walked in the frosty park and fed the ducks.
New Year’s Eve loomed, empty and lonely. She bought a cheap bottle of wine to see the new year in and, unused to drinking, got a little tipsy. Only then, thinking how lovely it would have been if Dave had been there, had she shed a tear.
He had returned on January the second, as promised, bringing her back a few tacky souvenirs. ‘Just to prove I’ve been thinking about you.’
Somehow the assurance had rung hollow…
Becoming suddenly aware that Robert Carrington was waiting for an answer to a question she hadn’t even heard, Eleanor pulled herself back from the past and stammered, ‘I-I’m sorry?’
‘I asked if you had any regrets about going into business?’
‘No. None at all.’
Though if they didn’t get this job, it looked as if they wouldn’t be in business much longer.
Apparently reading her thoughts, he asked, ‘What are your future prospects?’
Knowing instinctively that it was make or break, she said carefully, ‘They should be good. Dave’s brilliant at what he does, and we’re both prepared to put our hearts and souls into it, but to succeed we’ll need to get the work.’
‘How secure are you financially?’
Her lips tightening, she said, ‘I don’t believe you have any right to ask that.’
His green-gold eyes pinned her. ‘Before I entrust any work to you I’ve a right to know what your chances are of going bust on me. A lot of small firms are disappearing down the drain at the moment.’
‘I hope we won’t be one of them.’ It was the best she could do, and she held her breath and waited.
Apparently it was good enough. He let that go and smoothly changed tack. ‘When are you due to begin your next job?’
She started to tell him it had been put on hold, as instructed, then, knowing full well he wouldn’t believe a word of it, she admitted bleakly, ‘At the moment we have no next job.’
‘I see,’ he said slowly. ‘So it rather depends on me?’ His voice held satisfaction, and as he spoke he smiled a little.
Eleanor knew then, without the slightest doubt, that he had no intention of giving them his work. Like a wolf picking up the scent of prey, he had picked up just how desperate she was, and had been stringing her along.
She jumped to her feet abruptly. ‘Well now you’ve had your fun perhaps you won’t mind if—’
‘Sit down,’ he ordered. Adding, ‘Please,’ almost as an afterthought.
There was so much quiet authority in his voice, that she found herself obeying.
‘Tell me, what makes you think I’ve just been amusing myself?’
She refused to back down. ‘Well, you have, haven’t you? It’s obvious.’
Tawny eyes gleaming, he asked, ‘Would it alter your opinion if I offered you the job?’
‘It wouldn’t alter my opinion, but it would make the last half-hour or so worth it.’
He laughed, and she noticed that his mouth and teeth were just perfect.
‘I’m glad to see you have spirit. I thought you might have had it all knocked out of you.’
Startled, she asked, ‘What made you think that?’
‘Instinct mainly. I have a feeling that life hasn’t been too kind.’
The last thing she wanted was Robert Carrington’s pity. ‘It’s been kinder to me than it has to a lot of people,’ she informed him briskly. ‘I’ve never been ill-treated or gone hungry. I’m healthy and able to work. I’ve a place of my own and someone who—’ Unable to say the words, she stopped speaking abruptly.
‘Someone who loves you?’ he hazarded. ‘In that case you’re one up on me.’
Reaching across the desk, he lifted her left hand and examined the ring. ‘Am I right in thinking it’s Benson you’re going to marry?’
‘Yes.’
‘How long have you been engaged?’
‘Eight months.’
He looked surprised. ‘And you’re not living together.’ It was a statement not a question.
Suddenly feeling like some kind of misfit in this modern world, she objected stiffly, ‘I’m not sure how you reached that conclusion.’
Ironically, he told her, ‘When you were listing your blessings, you said, “I’ve got a place of my own”…’
She bit her lip.
‘So why are you playing hard to get? Afraid Benson will change his mind about marrying you if you give him your all?’
Before she could think of any answer, he went on, ‘No wonder the poor devil’s so edgy if you’re keeping him waiting.’
‘I’m not keeping him waiting,’ she denied sharply. ‘And he’s not edgy…’ But, even as she spoke, she knew he was, and had been for some weeks.
Though it could hardly have been for the reason suggested. Perhaps Dave had seen more clearly than she had what was facing them financially…
‘If you’re not keeping him waiting, why aren’t you living together?’ Robert Carrington pursued relentlessly. ‘You know what they say about two being able to live as cheaply as one…’
‘I really don’t see that it’s any of your business. And you know what they say about curiosity killing the cat…’
‘Touché. But I’m afraid we’ve strayed from the point again.’
Infuriated by his calm effrontery, and the way he had led her by the nose, she said through clenched teeth, ‘You mean you’ve strayed from the point.’
‘Aha!’ he exclaimed softly, ‘now you’re really starting to hold your own and answer me back. Perhaps you’ve decided you don’t want the job after all?’
Hotly, she said, ‘If I have to jump through hoops to get it, the answer’s no, I don’t want it. You can keep your job.’
He clicked his tongue against his teeth reprovingly. ‘Now how do you think Benson will feel about that?’
Eleanor’s face grew still and stiff with despair. Why had she allowed this man to bait and torment her until she was rattled enough to throw away the job they needed so badly.
Dave would never forgive her. Never.
‘Feel about what?’
Startled, she looked up to find he was standing in the office doorway.
