скачать книгу бесплатно
Annie nodded, feeling like a hot potato that everyone kept tossing about. She watched Melody leave. Alone with Ian, Annie didn’t know what to say or how to act. What was he thinking? Did she dare look at him?
“So here we are again.”
Annie turned, expecting a frown but found a wry smile instead. “Yeah, probably not what you really want to be doing.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it.”
“So now you’re a mind reader?” He raised his eyebrows.
“No.” She dropped her gaze. He always used to say that when she would tell him what he was supposedly thinking. Why did she have to keep remembering things from the past? Why couldn’t she look forward, not back?
“Just because I think it’s better for someone else to represent you in court doesn’t mean I’m going to turn my back on you completely.”
He didn’t say it, but he might as well have finished the sentence with like you did to me. The past barged into her thoughts again. It was as bad as the drugs and alcohol that had once enslaved her. She couldn’t shake it. “What do I have to do?”
“Let’s see what we’ve got here.” Ian picked up the papers Melody had left. “The usual forms we have new residents fill out so we know your job skills.”
“But you know those.”
“But Melody doesn’t, and she needs this for her records.” Ian handed her the papers and a pen. “Fill this out.”
Annie skimmed the pages as Ian busied himself with something on his computer. The papers were essentially a job application and a personality test. Annie filled in the information with a renewed hope. Seeing her job experience in writing made her realize she had some marketable skills. But how many employers were willing to take a chance on a former drug addict? The past again. She couldn’t banish it from her mind.
“Here.” She let out a loud sigh as she finished and handed the papers back to Ian. “I wasn’t sure about the contact information for my former bosses.”
“That’s usually the case with most of our new residents. This is mainly to see what experience you’ve had so we can help you search for the right kind of employment.”
“Okay.” Annie sat there, her stomach whirling with nervous anticipation. “Do you think I’ll find a job?”
“With your degree and experience, I’m sure you’ll find something.” Ian stood. “Now that you’ve filled these out, let’s tour the rest of the campus. We can start in this building, and then I’ll point out where all of our other ministries are located.”
“I’d like that.” Annie jumped up, eager to do something besides sit in Ian’s office. Even though being with Ian was difficult, it was better than being alone.
Ian headed for the door, then turned. “We’ll drop this stuff off in Melody’s office before we start the tour.”
Unlike Melody, Ian didn’t outpace Annie as they headed down the hallway. Did he remember she had short legs and couldn’t keep up with his long strides? He used to call her “short stuff” and would stand with his chin resting on the top of her head to prove it. Another recollection. How was she going to overcome the constant barrage of memories?
He stopped and pushed the envelope through the slot in Melody’s office door. When they reached a set of double doors at the opposite end of the hallway from Ian’s office, he opened the door for her.
Annie stepped into the cavernous space and took in the floor-to-ceiling mahogany-colored bookcases along three walls. A curved marble staircase hugged the fourth wall and led to the upper floor with an ornately carved balustrade. To the right were the checkout desk and two conference rooms, and on the left two rows of cubicles contained computers and monitors. “Wow! This is fantastic.”
“This is the former college library. I knew you’d like it. I remember how you loved to read.”
Annie nodded, knowing that was before drugs and alcohol had numbed her brain. She’d begun to read again in rehab, and she wanted desperately to read to her kids and introduce them to the children’s books she loved. A spark of surprise that Ian recalled her love of books ignited some happiness. “Do they have a children’s section?”
“Absolutely. Back in the far corner.” Ian led the way. “Since we have a dozen houses for children, this part of the library gets a lot of use. We’ll take a walk through the area where the children’s homes are located. We have a day care there, too, where you’ll be able to take Spencer and Kara while you’re at work.”
Ian’s positive comment put hope in Annie’s heart even though at times it seemed as though he didn’t believe his own statements. “I’d love to bring them here.”
“And we’re going to make that happen.”
Annie wanted to believe that was possible. But with Ian passing her off on one of his friends, did he really mean it? Annie straightened her spine and lifted her chin high. “How are you going to make that happen when you won’t represent me?”
* * *
The urge to take Annie by those stiff shoulders and shake some sense into her zigzagged through Ian’s mind, but he crossed his arms in order not to act on the ignoble thought. Why did she have to keep questioning his best wishes for her welfare? How could he convince her that he wanted everything good for her without personally involving himself in her life? That’s the last thing either of them needed. He decided it was best to just ignore her question.
“Are you ready to see the rest of what we’re doing here at The Village?” Even as Ian made the statement, he feared the time for helping people could come to an end in three months. He wasn’t going to let that happen.
“Sure.” Annie’s stiff stance relaxed and she didn’t argue the change in subject.
Ian relaxed, too, and pointed to the left of the administration building. “Good. We’ll start in this direction.”
“Okay.”
Annie’s one-word answers told Ian that she wasn’t feeling very comfortable with him even though she had appeared to relax. The whole scenario with Annie went beyond surreal. He was here with his ex-wife, and they weren’t saying a thing as they walked across the campus. What would his father say if he knew Annie was here?
When they reached the assisted-living facility, Ian introduced Annie to some of the residents who were enjoying a beautiful spring day on the front lawn. He stood back and listened while she chatted nonstop with Cora, one of the elderly ladies. Annie had been very close to her paternal grandparents. When they died suddenly within six months of each other during Annie’s junior year in high school, her life had shattered.
Ian had stepped in and offered her comfort, hoping to get close to the young woman he’d admired from afar for months in the church youth group. Little did he know their relationship would shatter his life, too. But he couldn’t blame her. He’d been a willing participant in the behavior that eventually nearly killed him and took Annie in a ruinous direction.
“Thanks for bringing this delightful young lady to see me.” Cora’s comment brought him back from the past.
Ian smiled at Annie, glad she could make a new start where people looked at her with fresh eyes. “You’re welcome, Cora, but now I have to take this delightful young lady away because I still have a lot of things to show her.”
Cora patted Annie’s arm. “Thank you so much, Annie, for stopping and making an old lady’s day.”
Annie’s smile matched the sun beaming overhead. “You made my day.”
He always loved her smile, but he turned away before he got too caught up in it. Loving anything about Annie Payton was a dangerous thing for him to do. “On to another part of the campus.”
“Okay.” Annie almost skipped as they made their way toward the children’s homes. “Thanks for giving me the time to talk with Cora. I’m going to visit her again.”
“She’ll be grateful. That’s the beauty of this place. We have folks from all walks of life and all ages who can give each other help in a variety of ways. It’s truly like a real village.”
“I can see that.” Annie looked up at him. “You like working here, don’t you?”
“I do. It has blessed my life more than I could ever have imagined.”
“What does your dad think about it?”
“His church supports it.”
“I didn’t ask about his church. I asked about him.”
Annie’s tendency not to hide what she was thinking had been evident from the minute they’d met again. She knew about the disagreements between father and son, and she wasn’t going to let Ian slip by with a half answer.
“He’s glad I’m doing productive work.”
“Somehow I sense a but in your statement.”
“Okay, you got me there.” Ian marveled that Annie could still read the nuances in his words. “Dad thinks I could’ve made better use of my law degree.”
“So he doesn’t like you working here?”
“I didn’t say that. He supports my work here, but sometimes he has trouble seeing the point of my helping people who frequently find themselves in trouble again.”
“People like me.”
Ian didn’t know how to respond. He wished he hadn’t answered her question, but Annie’s assessment was exactly right. Sometimes, people took more than one try to get it right. Annie fit that scenario. She seemed determined to stay clean this time. He hated to admit he was more like his dad on Annie’s account. She had to prove herself, because she’d fooled him before.
Annie jumped on his nonresponse. “Don’t know what to say?”
“Let’s not go down that road. We’ve had a nice time today. Don’t ruin it.”
Annie’s smile faded as she hurried ahead. Ian wasn’t going to try to soothe her feelings. Maybe this outing hadn’t been such a good idea. When they got back, Melody was sure to be there waiting for a report, and Ian would finally have to tell her about his past. He had to talk to Annie about it.
Annie finally slowed her pace, and Ian caught up to her. “Over your pout?”
“Yeah.” She looked up at him again. “I’m beginning to see why you shouldn’t be my attorney.”
Ian nodded. “I’m glad you’re finally seeing it my way. Why the change of heart?”
“There’s too much acrimony between us. Too many bad memories that won’t go away.”
What about the good ones? The thought slipped into Ian’s mind. He pushed it away. Annie had assessed the situation correctly. The bad memories far outweighed the good. The truth put a dagger in Ian’s heart. As sadness welled up inside of him, he sighed. “And I have to talk to Melody about it.”
“Should I be there, too?”
“I think it’s best if I do that alone.” Ian didn’t want Annie to hear some of the things he would say. She didn’t need to hear a lot of negative stuff about herself, but it would probably have to be said in the course of the conversation he would have with Melody.
“I suppose so.”
While they walked by a playground where a group of children played with abandon, Ian prayed this work wouldn’t be disrupted because of financial problems. Where would these people go? What was worse than having the ministry end? Having Annie see it fall apart just after she’d gotten here. If the facility went under, how would the loss affect her life? Would she stay strong or buckle at the first temptation to return to her former life?
Ian didn’t want to find out.
“Is this the area where you have the children’s homes?” Annie pointed toward the cluster of homes on two cul-de-sac streets.
“Yes, these used to be college faculty homes, and they converted nicely to twelve homes for children. Each one has six kids. The house parents are fabulous people.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Six kids is a lot to handle.” A cloud of sadness drifted over Annie’s face as she gazed up at him. “I couldn’t even deal with two. How will Spencer and Kara ever forgive me?”
Ian wished he knew. “I can’t answer that.”
“I know, but Kara was only three and Spencer two when they went into foster care, and I’ve only seen them a few times in the past year.” Tears welled in Annie’s eyes, but she blinked them back as she pressed her lips together.
“When you’re reunited with them, it won’t take long for them to bond with you again.” He hoped that would comfort her. She was trying not to cry, and the sight of her on the verge of tears pulled at his heartstrings. He didn’t want her plight to produce tender feelings in his thoughts. Such feelings might lead him to care too much. He’d gone down that road before. Never again. It was the road to heartache.
“I hope you’re right. Thanks for believing in me.”
Did he believe in her? Not completely, but she needed encouraging reinforcement in her life. Right about now he needed God to rescue him. Annie was getting to him. At that moment, he spied Melody’s car headed their way. God had perfect timing. “Looks like Melody’s back.”
Melody rolled down her window as she slowed her sedan. “Ian, we need to talk.”
“You get your lady settled?” Ian wondered what was on Melody’s mind.
“Yeah, hop in and I’ll give you the details.”
Ian glanced at Annie. “You want a ride back to your place?”
Annie shook her head. “I think I’ll stop by and see Cora again.”
“Are you sure?” Ian hoped Annie didn’t feel dismissed, but he had to talk with Melody alone.
“I’m sure. You and Melody have stuff to talk about.” Annie lifted her eyebrows until they disappeared under her dark fringe of bangs.
“Okay. Talk to you later.” Ian got into the car and hoped Melody didn’t notice anything odd about Annie’s comment or her expression. He had to work up to the conversation he was going to have about his relationship with his ex-wife.
* * *
As Ian got into the car with Melody, jealousy crept through Annie’s mind again. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She turned away. Why was she feeling this way? She’d pushed Ian out of her life six years ago because they’d wanted different things. They still didn’t suit each other. Nothing had changed.
Even if she hadn’t gone down the path to her own destruction, they wouldn’t have been compatible. Too bad they hadn’t recognized that before they’d ventured into a marriage that had lasted barely over a year.
Her misguided thoughts about Ian were just another example of her bad judgment. She was a terrible judge of men, first Ian and then Jesse, the irresponsible man who had fathered her children. Kara and Spencer were the only two good things that man had ever produced. Ian was a much better person than Jesse, but still the wrong man for her. If she were smart, she would forget men altogether. She had to concentrate on getting her kids back even if dealing with Ian was part of that.
While dozens of thoughts tumbled through Annie’s head, she continued to wander down the pathway that took her back to the assisted-living facility. A short distance away, she spotted three white-haired ladies sitting in the shade of a big oak tree popping with the new leaves of spring. Cora was still there. Annie quickened her pace.
“Hi, Cora.” Annie waved.
Cora smiled, her wrinkled face beaming. “What a surprise. You’re back so soon.”
“Yeah. Ian had a meeting, so I decided to visit with y’all for a while.”
Cora pointed to an empty chair in their circle. “Come join us, and let me introduce you to Ruby and Liz.”
Annie sat on the nearby chair. “Nice to meet you ladies.”
“Did you have a lovely walk with Mr. Ian?”
Annie forced a smile rather than the frown that nearly puckered her eyebrows. Why did they have to ask about Ian? “He showed me most of the campus until Melody whisked him away.”
“I keep waiting for Ms. Melody and Mr. Ian to become an item, but there aren’t any sparks there. What do you think?” Cora peered at her friends.
Liz nodded. “I think you’re right. No sparks.”
