скачать книгу бесплатно
“You stayed in your living room the whole time I was in labor?” Victoria asked.
He nodded. “After a while the phone rang, and I figured it was your mom, calling to see where I was. It rang on and off, all day. When the calls started coming closer together, I assumed that you’d had the baby.” He divided his gaze between both of the women in his presence. “The two of you deserved better.”
“It didn’t affect me,” Kaley said. “I don’t remember any of it. But I feel badly for Victoria.” She spoke to her birth mom. “That must have been really sad for you.”
“It was. But it’s done and over now.”
“I can tell it still hurts.” Kaley glanced over at Ryan. “You look like you’re hurting, too.”
“I just wish I could go back and redo it the right way.”
Kaley made a goofy face. “I can act like a baby if it will make you feel better.”
When she stuck her thumb in her mouth, Ryan couldn’t help but smile. “Keep that up and I’ll to have to buy you another teddy bear.”
She removed her thumb with a deliberate pop. “Actually that would be cool. Where’d you buy the first ones?”
“At a discount store on the edge of town.”
“Is it still there?”
“Yes.”
“Can we go there this week?”
“Sure. We can pick out a new bear together.”
“Are you going to get Victoria a new one, too?”
His pulse went jumpy. “If she wants me to.” He asked her, “Do you?”
She shrugged, albeit it gently. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I think you should be included. Then you and Kaley can have the matching toys you were supposed have. We can all go to the store together.”
Their daughter chimed in. “You know what else we should all do together? Go to the maternity ward of the hospital. So I can see the place where I was born and so you guys can make new memories.”
Ryan loved the idea, especially since Kaley suggested it. But Victoria had to agree, too. He noticed she’d gone quiet again.
“What do you think?” he asked her. “If Kaley and I go there, will you come with us?”
The teenager added, “We can look at the babies behind the glass. It’ll be nice to focus on people being born in a hospital instead of dying there.”
Ryan realized that there was more to Kaley’s suggestion than just him and Victoria. Clearly, Kaley’s mom had died in a hospital. He thought about the loss his daughter had suffered and how she was still working on ways to cope with her grief. Among the three of them, emotions ran high.
He studied Victoria, waiting for a response to his question. Kaley was also looking at her.
Waiting, as well.
Chapter Three
Victoria would rather walk headfirst into a hornet’s nest than visit the maternity ward with Ryan by her side. But if it would soothe Kaley’s feelings about life and death, then she wasn’t about to refuse.
She said, “Of course I’ll go with both of you.”
“Can we bring our new bears with us when we get them?” Kaley asked.
Victoria nodded, even though the stuffed animals were part of the problem. Knowing that Ryan had planned to bring her and Kaley such sweet little gifts made her miss the boy she’d once loved. And she didn’t want to miss him. She’d banished him from her heart for a reason.
“Do either of you care if I tell my dad about this?” Kaley asked. “I want him to know what happened between you guys when I was born and how we’re going to try to make it better.”
“Tell him whatever you think is necessary.” Victoria wasn’t going to stand in the way, not if it gave Kaley comfort to talk to her father.
Ryan took the same approach and agreed, as well. But Victoria expected as much. Refusing would have been an injustice to their daughter.
Kaley relaxed. “Oh, good. I don’t like keeping secrets from my dad. Besides, I think he’s going to agree that all of us going to the hospital will be the right thing to do.” The teen softly added, “My mom would have thought so, too.”
The discussion ended on a sentimental note.
Ryan suggested a movie on cable, and he and Kaley checked listings and chose a comedy to lift their spirits. But watching a funny movie didn’t ease Victoria’s mind.
Later that night, she struggled to sleep.
She glanced at the alarm clock and wished that morning would come, because each day that passed would bring her closer to getting through this week and going home.
Finally, daylight arrived and she climbed out of bed. She opened her blinds and gazed at the country view.
After a reflective moment, she headed for the bathroom that she shared with Kaley. Her daughter’s door was still closed. Ryan’s door was at the other end of the hall and she could see that it was shut, as well. Assuming she was the first one up, she got ready.
Upon her bathroom departure, she noticed the other doors remained closed.
Alone in the quiet, she crept downstairs and went into the kitchen. She’d told Ryan that she would be cooking while she was here, but she wasn’t going to prepare anything until he and Kaley were up. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to see what type of breakfast fixings were available.
The egg keeper was full, which didn’t surprise her, considering the chickens in Ryan’s yard. He had fresh milk and fresh cream, too, courtesy of his cow. As she poked around in the fridge, she noticed a package of honey-cured ham and a small block of cheddar cheese. Potatoes and bread were also handy.
Needing a caffeine boost, she made a pot of coffee and sat at the old-style Formica-topped table, which looked a lot like the one Ryan and his dad used to have in their kitchen. Was it the same table? Had Ryan taken possession of it after his dad died?
And what about Ryan’s wife? Had she lived here with him, or did he buy this place after they split? Victoria chastised herself for caring. His ex-wife shouldn’t matter. Yet the other woman, whoever she was, crowded her already-cluttered mind.
The door from the mudroom opened, and Victoria started.
Someone entered the kitchen, and she turned around, preparing to see Ryan. The steps were too heavy to be Kaley’s. Besides, what would Kaley be doing outside at this time of day? Ryan had probably been up for hours, tending to his animals, when Victoria thought he was still asleep.
Sure enough, it was him, dressed in a plain white tee, blue jeans and work boots, with his medium-length hair mussed from the morning breeze.
“The coffee smells good,” he said. “I was just coming in to make a pot.”
She shifted in her seat, feeling far too self-conscious, while he stood there, looking far too gorgeous. “I beat you to it.”
“That you did.” He walked over to pour a cup.
She watched while he added an abundance of cream, but only one spoonful of sugar. She’d doctored hers with lots of both.
He leaned against the counter. “So Kaley isn’t a morning person?”
“Sometimes she is. She was probably wiped out from yesterday.”
“The traveling and everything?”
She nodded. “I’m wiped out, too.”
“You don’t look beat. You look pretty.”
Her heart fluttered from his praise. Bad, stupid heart. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment.”
“I didn’t think you were. I’m just saying that the years have been good to you.” He made a flat motion with his hand, mimicking the straightness of her hair. “I like the way you style your hair now. I used to like the curls, too. The way it blew every which way.”
She made a face. “And frizzed up in the rain. A constant issue with the weather here.”
“You were always tying scarves around your head or pulling your hoodie up real tight. My favorite times were when you’d get caught in the rain without a cover-up.”
“That didn’t happen very often.”
“It was still fun.”
He smiled, and she battled the bewitchment that was Ryan.
A few minutes later, Kaley walked into the kitchen. The product of their union, Victoria thought. She’d more or less stumbled out of bed. She was still wearing her pajamas, and on her feet were novelty slippers that looked like fuzzy creatures with eyeballs. She called them her purple people eaters after an old song she thought was funny.
“Morning,” Victoria quickly said. “Now that you’re here, I’ll start breakfast. Ham and cheese omelets with hash browns on the side.”
“Yum. Okay. Thanks.” Kaley plopped down at the table and said, “Hey,” to Ryan.
“Hey, yourself.” He smiled at her outfit.
Victoria began by peeling potatoes. She loved cooking for her daughter, relishing the mommy feeling it gave her. She would have to be careful that whipping up meals for Ryan didn’t create a wifely feeling. Old dreams. Old bewitchments. This was not a family in the making.
Ryan said to Kaley, “I got the box down from the attic this morning. So anytime you’re ready, we can look through it.”
“Really? Wow. That was fast.”
No kidding, Victoria thought. Not only had he spent time outside, he’d rummaged around in the attic, too.
“We can look through it after breakfast,” Kaley said. “Then afterward, I’ll get my photo album.” She grinned. “We can have a picture party.”
Ryan grinned, too. Boyish as hell. Victoria cursed the knee-jerk reaction it gave her.
He said to their daughter, “Too bad we don’t have any cake and ice cream to go with it.”
Kaley tapped her purple people eaters together, making the eyeballs roll around. “Victoria is going to teach me to bake.”
“Yes, she told me. That’ll be cool. You two can fatten me up while you’re here.”
He was still leaning against the counter, with his lean male hips and whipcord arms. Cake and ice cream wasn’t about to fatten him up. Funny thing, too, he probably stayed in shape from his country-fresh lifestyle, hiking and biking and lifting bales of hay, whereas Victoria belonged to a trendy gym, taking scheduled classes and running on a treadmill like a hamster on a wheel.
He refilled his coffee and asked Kaley, “Do you want a cup?”
“No thanks. I’m more of a cappuccino girl.”
“With purple feet?” He chuckled. “There’s a gourmet coffee machine in the break room at the clinic. It’s one of those single-serve models with disposable brewing cups. No one ever really uses it. I can bring it in here, if that suits you.”
She shot him a winning smile. “Thanks. That’d be super.”
He left by way of the mudroom.
After he was gone, Kaley sad, “He’s nice. He’s handsome, too, for the dad type. But so is my dad. I wonder if they’re going to become friends.”
“They’re not going to know each other very well, honey. It could be a long time before they ever meet.”
“Why? Because they live so far away? They’re going to have to hang out, eventually. I want both of them to be at my college graduation.”
“You’re only just starting school in the fall. You’ve got at least a full four years to go.”
“I know, but there are other things, too. Like me getting married and having kids. If they don’t become friends, stuff like that will be awkward for everyone.”
“Let’s focus on one life-altering event at a time.” Victoria didn’t want to consider how many times in the future that she would be required to see Ryan.
He returned with the gourmet coffeemaker and set it up, brewing a single cup of flavored cappuccino for Kaley.
Victoria finished making breakfast and set the table.
“This is nice,” Ryan said, as the three them sat down.
Apparently Kaley thought so, too. She hummed while she ate, tucked cozily between her birth parents. Victoria was glad that her daughter was enjoying herself, but that still didn’t make them a family.
Ryan remarked how good the food was, and Kaley agreed, marveling over the fact that they were feasting on fresh eggs and drinking milk provided by a miniature cow.
“This feels so fifties,” Kaley said.
“That’s the era this table is from,” Ryan told her. “It belonged to my dad.”
Victoria spoke up. “I’ve been wondering if it was the same one.”
He shifted his attention to her. “You recognized it?”
She nodded. Everything about the past was resurfacing. Everything she’d worked so doggone hard to forget.
He said, “When I first bought this place, Dad moved in with me because he was recovering from a stroke. He insisted that he was going to get well and to move back out on his own. So I put all of his stuff in storage, including this table.” He ran his fingers along the Formica. “But Dad didn’t get well. About a year later, he had another stroke and died. I ended up keeping the table, maybe because it had been around for so long.”
