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The following morning Elaina awakened feeling far from refreshed. She squinted at the clock and reached for her robe. They day seemed a little gray, but she supposed it matched her mood.
Oklahoma. Grant hadn’t liked living here, so what made her think four weeks in the Sooner State was going to cure Lexie’s depression?
Concerned about her daughter, she belted her robe and slipped into the hall. Opening the other guest-room door, she stepped inside, then stood near the bed.
Lexie slept in a tangle of blankets, her short black hair strewn across her face. She had Grant’s hair, rain straight, with a glossy sheen. Elaina’s unruly mane tended to curl far too much. If she didn’t style it with a blow dryer, each rebellious strand took on a mind of its own.
Lexie stirred, and Elaina sighed. Should she wake the young girl or let her sleep?
She touched her daughter’s cheek. She missed the closeness they’d once shared, the laughter that used to fill their home.
Three teenage boys had destroyed her family. They’d wanted Grant’s car badly enough to kill him for it, to shoot him in the chest and leave him bleeding on the side of the freeway.
She took a deep breath, but the image wouldn’t go away. Her husband shivering and helpless, a bullet lodged much too close to his heart. And what about Nick? She would never forget how he looked when a policeman brought him back to the condo that night. Her husband was dead, and his twin had blood on his sleeve, a tremor in his voice, a vacant stare in his dark eyes.
“Mom?”
Elaina’s heart bumped against her breast, jarring her from the memory. “Hi, sweetheart.“
Lexie adjusted the covers. “What time is it?” “Seven.“
“Are we going somewhere with Uncle Nick?”
She sat on the edge of the bed. “Not that I know of. He’s probably working today.” Which meant he would still be close by. His workshop was located behind the house.
“Then can I go back to sleep?”
Elaina considered her daughter’s question. This was supposed to be a vacation, four weeks away from the pattern of their lives. There was no dreaded middle school for Lexie to tackle, no unhappy morning routine to adhere to. So if Lexie wanted to stay in bed, what was the harm? She was probably overtired, her body still trying to adjust to the time change.
“I’ll wake you up later, okay?“
“Okay.”
Lexie closed her eyes, big brown eyes that nearly swallowed her entire face. She was, Elaina thought, a petite and pretty tomboy, caught in the battle of puberty. An unwelcome battle, considering Lexie’s determination to defy her gender.
Elaina went back to her own room, choosing to wear jeans, a washable-silk T-shirt and a pair of lace-up boots. She styled her hair in a classic chignon, a look she had become accustomed to, even with casual clothes.
Ready for a cup of coffee, she headed for the kitchen, preparing to familiarize herself with someone else’s home. But when she got there, she came eye-to-eye with Nick.
He leaned against the counter, his raven hair combed away from his face, a well-worn denim shirt tucked into a pair of equally faded jeans. She had to tell herself to breathe, to accept his presence without losing her composure.
It was his hair, she realized, that unsettled her most. Nick had always kept it long, well past his shoulders. Yet the morning after Grant had died, he’d cut it.
But why? So he would look even more like his brother?
Grant had worn his hair in a shorter style because he was trying to present a non-Indian image. He’d wanted people to see him as the up-and-coming executive that he was. And stereotypes, he’d said, referring to his Comanche heritage, got in the way.
“Good morning,” Nick drawled in a slow, husky voice. “Did you sleep all right?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Unlike Grant, he was heavily involved in his culture, or that was the impression she got. He sported silver jewelry, a wide band on one wrist, a detailed watch and another wide bracelet on the other. His belt was adorned with sterling accents and an engraved buckle.
No one would mistake Nick for being anything other than Indian, and his denim-and-silver style intensified that image. Except for the hair. The slicked-back, GQ look belonged to Grant.
“Where’s Lexie?” he asked.
“Still asleep.“
“Oh.” He frowned. “I was wondering what everyone wanted to do about breakfast.”
“I’d rather wait for Lexie, but I’m not going to wake her for a while. So if you want to eat now, go ahead.”
“No. I can wait.”
She noticed the coffeepot was percolating. “May I have a cup?“
“Sure. It’s pretty strong, though.“
“I don’t mind.” Elaina wasn’t choosy about her coffee, and she’d lied about sleeping well. She’d tossed and turned most of the night. Of course, insomnia had become part of her widowed lifestyle.
She located a sturdy mug in the cupboard above her head, then turned back to him. “Do you have sugar?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He opened the cabinet near the stove and handed her a pink-and-white box.
She added the sweetener and found herself smiling in the process. This was typical of a bachelor, she supposed. A sugar bowl wouldn’t occur to a single man. And that’s what Nick had always been. Her bachelor brother-in-law.
She lifted the mug, curious if Nick had a significant other by now, an important girlfriend who kept him in line. Not likely, she thought. Hadn’t she stumbled upon a conversation between Grant and Nick on that very subject, just days before Grant’s murder?
“So, bro,” her husband had said, sinking into an Italian leather chair. “Have you met anyone special?”
Nick, looking a bit too rugged for the condo’s upscale interior, had kicked a pair of timeworn boots out in front of him. “Can’t say that I have.”
“I guess that means you’re still sampling the flavor of the month?”
“Yep. That’s me. Brunettes in May and redheads in June.” Nick had wagged his eyebrows, and they’d grinned at each other like a couple of naughty boys paging through their first girlie magazine. Elaina had wanted to throttle both of them, but instead she’d tossed a decorative pillow at Grant, warning him that she’d just entered the living room.
And even though Grant had charmed her into a playful, I’m-busted hug, and Nick had seemed thoroughly embarrassed that she’d heard his macho admission, that silly memory confirmed the unlikelihood of a significant other. Nick Bluestone wasn’t the commitment type.
“Elaina?”
She glanced up and realized he’d been watching her, probably wondering why she had zoned out. “Yes?”
He trapped her gaze, his stare intense. “Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe help feed the horses?”
With a sudden jump in her heartbeat, she told herself to relax, to not look away. She couldn’t continue to avoid him, and dancing around those dark, penetrating eyes was simply rude.
“Do you think I need a jacket?” she asked, deciding to walk with him.
“Maybe. I don’t think it’s cold out, but you might.” He sent her a boyish grin. “You’ve got that California blood.”
And he had a charming smile, a bit more crooked than Grant’s had been. “I’ll get a sweater.” She went to her room and returned with a lightweight wrap. She’d meant to smile back at him, but she couldn’t. Her attraction to Grant had started with his teasing grin.
The air was brisk and clean, with mountains in the distance. They passed Nick’s workshop and headed toward the barn. She noticed a fenced arena and a small, circular pen. Equestrian additions, she assumed, Nick had made to the property. Grant had described his childhood homestead as a wasteland, but Elaina thought it was pretty. The soil shimmered with flecks of gold, and a cluster of trees was shedding winter leaves. She could picture snow blanketing the earth, just enough to make the holidays come alive.
“Do you ride?” Nick asked.
“I used to rent horses in the Hollywood Hills, but it’s been ages. Since high school, I guess.“
“Somehow I can’t see connecting with nature in Hollywood. That place is weird.”
Elaina had to laugh. He sounded like a big, biased country boy. “It was near Griffith Park, so it’s nice up there. But I suppose your opinion of Tinseltown is accurate enough. Some people call it Hollyweird.”
This time he laughed, a rich, smooth baritone. She liked the friendly sound, but when he leaned closer and bumped her shoulder, her heart picked up speed. A slice of hair fell across his forehead, and she realized it wasn’t secured with gel. Nick’s hair was simply wet from a recent shower and drying naturally in the morning air.
Suddenly she couldn’t stop herself from asking the question that had plagued her for two years.
“Nick?” She stopped walking and turned to face him. “Why did you cut your hair?”
He stared at her for a moment. “Because of Grant,” he said quietly.
She released a shaky breath. “Because that’s the way he wore his hair?”
“No. It’s a Comanche practice.” His eyes turned a darker shade of brown—a deeper, lonelier color. “My brother died. I’m mourning him.”
Elaina felt instantly shamed. She should have figured it out on her own. She should have known. Hadn’t she seen something similar in movies? Indians maiming themselves when a loved one died—cutting their skin, their hair? She looked at Nick and wondered if he’d taken a knife to himself, as well. If there were scars somewhere on his body.
“Does it help?” she asked. “Does it take the pain away?”
He closed his eyes, and as the wind blew around him in a silent flutter, Elaina waited for him to answer.
But he didn’t. He just stood, with his eyes closed. Stood while her heart pounded in an unsteady rhythm.
“Nick?” she pressed. If there was a way to ease the pain that came with losing Grant, then Elaina needed to know.
Two
Nick didn’t know what to say. Nothing helped, nothing made living without his brother more bearable. Yes, he’d cut his hair, honoring the old way, but keeping it short was more than a mourning ritual. It was a daily reminder of what he’d done, of his involvement in Grant’s death. And so were the marks on his chest, the places where he’d shed his own blood. The wounds had long since healed, but the pain and guilt wouldn’t go away.
He opened his eyes and gazed at Elaina. She watched him, her heart on her sleeve. She was hurting, too. Trying to find a way to cope with being a widow, with raising a troubled daughter.
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t help. But it’s part of my culture. And I’ve always followed the early practices. The best I can, anyway. Sometimes it’s difficult living in modern times and adhering to the old ways.”
Elaina tilted her head. “Grant was concerned about being stereotyped, but other than that, he rarely talked about being Indian. It didn’t seem to be a major issue in his life.”
But it was, Nick thought. Grant had turned away from their heritage long ago. Yet on that dark summer night, he’d come back to his roots. He’d died in Nick’s arms, asking Nick to take his place the way a Comanche brother would have done centuries before.
He looked at Elaina, knowing how much Grant had loved her. And now it was Nick’s responsibility to keep her happy and safe, to provide for her well-being.
She was pretty. Nick couldn’t deny how soft her skin seemed or how daylight played upon her hair, intensifying subtle copper hues. What man wouldn’t find her attractive? She had long, lean curves, the kind of body that made a pair of blue jeans seem sleek yet sinful.
Was he supposed to sleep with her? Make love to her on their wedding night?
Nick jammed his hands in his pockets. Of course he was. Sex was part of the marriage tradition. A natural, normal, healthy physical release.
And one that made him nervous as hell. Elaina was his brother’s wife, the woman Grant had loved.
“Are you all right?” she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just miss my brother.“
“Me, too.”
They stood in the middle of the yard, their gazes locked, the morning air scented with horses and hay. A loose strand of Elaina’s hair blew around her face, breaking free from the ladylike confinement.
Her eyes were so blue, so emotional, that Nick wanted to kiss her.
He wanted to kiss his brother’s wife.
Because the thought confused him, he stepped back. She was beautiful, and Grant had asked him to take care of her, but somehow she still seemed forbidden. A woman who was his, yet wasn’t.
He resumed walking. “We better get the horses watered and fed.”
She stayed beside him. “Just tell me what to do.”
They reached the barn, and he led her to the feed room. While loading a wheelbarrow, he explained that he kept a stockpile of hay for colder months.
“It doesn’t seem like winter,” she commented. “I was hoping for a little snow. You know, just enough to play in.”
He had to smile. A California girl imagining a white Christmas. “It might happen. Will Rogers used to say that if you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it’ll change.”
She chuckled, and he glanced up from his task. A few more strands of her hair had come loose. He had the notion to brush it away from her cheek, but proceeded to section the hay instead. He supposed the pinned-up style was her teacher hairdo—proper and pretty.
They approached the box stalls, and Elaina made a beeline for Nick’s moodiest mount, a gray he called Kid. The gelding tossed his head and stepped back warily, even if his breakfast was within sniffing distance.
“What’s the matter?” she asked the horse in a soft voice. “Are you bashful?”
Kid was more than head-shy. The three-year-old had acquired every leave-me-alone habit Nick could think of. “That’s Kid. I haven’t had him for very long. He’s a bit of a project.”
“You’re going to work with him?“
“Yeah.” And this was Nick’s first attempt to make a gentleman out of an ill-mannered mount. “I’m a saddle maker, not a trainer, but I’ve got plenty of patience.”
Elaina stepped back to view the horse. “I like him.” “Really?” Surprised, Nick entered the stall and pushed against the gelding’s rump when Kid tried to crowd him. They went through the same routine every morning. Kid was determined to jam Nick against the wall, and Nick was determined to make the horse behave. “Besides the fact that his stall manners are deplorable, he bites, kicks and pulls away while he’s being led. Oh, and he charges in pasture, too.”
Kid pinned his ears, and Elaina managed an amused look. “You must like him, too. After all, you did buy him.”
“He was cheap.” And Kid’s previous owners had given up on the feisty gelding, the way Nick’s mom had given up on him and Grant. She’d walked away, leaving behind a shabby old house and two confused boys.
He exited Kid’s stall and received a good-riddance sneer on his way out.
