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She fell silent. He didn’t press her, and instead drank his coffee in silence.
“I’ll be right back,” she said, getting up quickly and heading toward the restroom. Right before she reached the short hallway that led to the ladies’ room, she turned and looked at him. “Please wait for me.” And then she disappeared behind the door.
For reasons he didn’t entirely understand, that broke his heart.
Had she said too much? Or not enough? Standing in front of the washroom mirror, Vanessa put her hands to her flaming cheeks. She needed to remember that Remy and Seth were related by blood, while she was merely a stranger who’d come to town for what now seemed to be entirely selfish reasons. Clearly, Seth would have been better off without her attempt at obtaining a respite from her guilt at the knowledge that she hadn’t handled their breakup well.
Turned out maybe that had been all in her head. She should have left well enough alone. And she couldn’t believe she’d almost revealed the fact that she and Seth had never even been intimate. If she had, then Remy would know what a cold fish she was.
During her brief engagement to Seth, she’d managed to deflect every attempt he made to get her in his bed. At first, she’d chalked it up to her sheltered upbringing, but she’d come to the realization she didn’t want him at all that way. She’d seen the way other women looked at him—he was a handsome man, after all. So it had to be her. With that bit of awareness, she’d understood they both deserved better.
But she’d lacked the courage to say that to Seth. Of course, the fact that when she’d called off the engagement, he’d been so furious that he’d punched a hole in the wall might have had something to do with it. He’d scared her so badly, and after he’d stormed out she’d had all her locks changed so he couldn’t come back.
He hadn’t. He’d hightailed it back to Roaring Springs, which had given her both relief and peace. Until she’d gotten the foolish idea that she needed to make things right with Seth so they could both move on.
All she’d managed to do was make everything worse.
Though she had learned one thing about herself. Apparently, she wasn’t as much of an ice princess as she believed. One look from Remy Colton’s hazel-green eyes set her on fire. She craved his touch, wondered about how his lips would feel on hers and imagined carnal scenarios she’d only previously read about.
Had she lost her mind? Seriously, she needed to get a grip on this ridiculous attraction she felt toward Remy. Talk about creating a huge mess! That’s what it would be if she even considered acting on these forbidden desires.
So nope, nope, nope. Luckily, Remy seemed oblivious to her feelings. Thank goodness. She needed to remember she simply needed his help to find a place to stay for one or two nights and then she’d be out of this town for good. Hopefully before she managed to make an even worse mess out of things.
Once she managed to regain her composure, she left the sanctuary of the restroom and went back to her table. Remy looked up from his phone and smiled. The warmth of it went straight to her heart.
Shaking her head at herself, she sat back down and took a sip of her hot cider. Though it had cooled down significantly, the drink still tasted delicious.
“I’ve done some checking,” he said. “We keep a family suite at The Chateau and since no one is using it at the moment, it’s yours.”
She stared. “A suite? That’s amazing.”
“And in case you’re worrying about the cost, we’re not going to charge you anything. You can have it for as long as you need it, within reason.”
Within reason. His caveat made her smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t be moving in or anything. I’d just like to ski the mountain once it reopens. And then I’ll be out of your hair.”
Gaze steady, he shrugged. “How long is up to you. No one will be using the suite until after the holidays.”
“Wow. Okay, thanks. I confess I’m a bit surprised you don’t have family coming in for Christmas, though.”
“We do. But they’ll be staying at Colton Manor,” he replied.
“Colton Manor?” She couldn’t help herself. “That sounds like something out of a movie about royalty or something.”
He laughed. “That’s closer to the truth than you realize. My family has this huge and utterly pretentious mansion where my uncle Russ and my aunt Mara like to entertain. My grandfather, Earl, has a separate suite of rooms all to himself.”
“Your father doesn’t live there?”
“No. He tends to do his own thing.”
“What about your mother?” Utterly intrigued, she leaned forward.
“Cordelia?” His mouth twisted. “She dropped me off on Whit’s doorstep when I was five. She has… substance-abuse issues. My grandparents basically raised me. And Cordelia has been out of the picture ever since I got legal custody of Seth.”
“That’s a lot to take in,” she mused. “You must have been so young yourself and yet still took on trying to raise your little brother.”
He shook his head, his expression distant. “I didn’t have a choice. I simply couldn’t leave him in that environment.”
She wanted to tell him how much she admired him for that, but kept it to herself. Remy clearly was a good, honorable man, and men like him weren’t comfortable with compliments on actions they considered to be second nature.
They finished their drinks in companionable silence while the snow continued to fall outside. She liked the way Remy put her at ease without even trying.
“Would you like another cider?” he finally asked.
“I think I’m done,” she said and stretched, even though she was reluctant to move. “Thank you so much for helping me.”
Wearing a pleased expression, he nodded. “We’ve solved your immediate problem. But I’m still worried about Seth.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” she began.
“Oh, he will, once he thinks about things rationally and calms down. But that’s not what I meant. I love him—he’s family I didn’t even know I had until fifteen years ago. But he’s had his share of troubles since we reconnected. He’s not always successful in conquering his demons.”
Intrigued, she grabbed her empty cup and stood. “You know what? Let’s both get another drink. On me this time. That’s a story I’d really like to hear, if you don’t mind sharing.”
“I don’t mind at all.” His steady gaze touched on her and she felt it like a caress. “Though I have to say, I’m surprised Seth never told you.”
She was, too, though she didn’t voice that thought. “I’ll be right back.”
Instead of a line, only one other person waited at the counter. She placed the order and paid, waiting just a minute until the drinks were ready.
“Here you go,” she said, placing Remy’s coffee on the table in front of him. She waited until she’d gotten settled back in her seat before she took a sip of her own hot cider drink. “Seth didn’t really talk much about his past. He always said he liked being an enigma.”
Though Remy raised one eyebrow at that statement, he didn’t comment. He drank his coffee, appearing contemplative, as if trying to figure out the best way to tell his story.
She waited patiently, enjoying the warmth of the room, the scent of fresh-roasted coffee, the delicious drink and the intriguing man seated across from her.
“When I was five years old, my birth mother dropped me off on my dad’s doorstep,” he began. “Whit Colton has always been a playboy. Still is, even though he’s well past fifty. He had no time for a son, but he made sure to take care of me financially, for which I’m grateful. His parents were delighted to have a grandchild to coddle, so they took care of me and loved me.”
He looked down, wrapping his hands around his coffee cup.
Unable to help herself, she made a sound of sympathy and reached across the table to put her hand on his. “That must have been hard on you. You were so young to go through such a thing.”
Remy grimaced. “It wasn’t easy. For years, I was convinced I must have done something wrong for my mother to send me away like that. And when my father didn’t seem to want to have much to do with me, well, that reinforced my belief that it was all my fault.” He released a ragged breath then went on. “As a consequence, I became very, very well behaved. Straight-A student, outstanding athlete, all of that. My grandparents cheered me on, encouraged me and treated me as if I mattered. Despite their belief in me, I always felt something was missing. So when I was twenty, I set out to find my birth mother.”
Vanessa gasped. “Did you have any luck?” Then, as she realized what that meant, she shook her head. “Of course you did. I’m guessing that’s also how you found Seth.”
“Exactly. My mother, Cordelia, was an ex-model, which is how she met Whit Colton. She became a drug addict, probably before she dumped me off on Whit.” He took a deep breath, his gaze faraway, as though he was lost in his memories. “Though she’d gotten married to Seth’s father, he also had drug problems and, worse, anger issues. She’d neglected Seth the way she’d neglected me, except he spent his entire life in that environment. Seth’s dad was abusive, verbally and physically, which in turn caused Seth to take out his anger on others, even animals. Though he was only fifteen, he started to have problems with drugs and alcohol too.”
Stunned, she covered her mouth with her hand. “That’s horrible. I had no idea. Seth never mentioned any of this to me.”
Remy shrugged. “He says he prefers not to look back at the past. I’m sure he didn’t want your pity.”
Pity. She considered Remy’s choice of word. Maybe he was right. But then again… “Knowing about this might have helped me understand him better. The anger issues. The times he got falling-down drunk.”
“Well, now you know.” Remy’s matter-of-fact tone didn’t fool her one bit. Raw emotion shone from his eyes. “I couldn’t leave my half brother there. He wouldn’t have stood a chance. I took over legal custody of him, even though I was only five years older.”
“His parents let you? Just like that?”
“No.” Remy drank his coffee. “I got a loan from my father and paid them to relinquish custody. Not surprisingly, they were eager to waive parental rights for some cold, hard cash.”
“Yikes.” She winced. “But this was a good thing, right? I’m assuming you must have brought him to your grandparents.”
“No. I enrolled him in rehab and sent him to counseling. Once he was off the drugs and had learned to deal with his rage, then I brought him home. I loved him the best I could, as much as he would let me. Things were rough between us for a while, but then seemed to settle down.” He sighed. “But you’ve seen him. Something is…off. He’s back to binge drinking. And that anger still lurks right under Seth’s skin, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. I worry about him constantly.”
Vanessa wasn’t sure what to say. She settled on going with the truth. “Well, that explains a lot. The night I broke up with him, he punched a hole through my wall. He told me to consider myself lucky it wasn’t me.”
Remy’s jaw tightened. Fists clenched, he turned away, his breathing harsh. She watched as he clearly struggled to get himself under control. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, slowly moving to face her. “I wish I could have been there to protect you.”
She took a deep breath. “He scared me to death. And then the way he’s acted since I came here… While knowing about his past helps me understand why he behaves the way he does, I still think it’s best if I don’t see him again. At this point, I don’t think we can even be friends.”
To her surprise, Remy smiled. “Maybe it’s time you make some new friends.”
Chapter 4 (#uc9757e0a-4a05-5e6b-8282-fdb443afea6b)
Though he knew he shouldn’t, Remy couldn’t help but hope Vanessa took full advantage of the free luxury suite in The Chateau and stayed for a few days longer. Despite her clear worries over Seth, he really didn’t feel his brother was a danger to anyone but himself.
Just in case, Remy would personally keep an eye on Vanessa to make sure she was safe. At least that’s the reason he told himself, as he gazed at the beautiful woman sitting across from him. Anything else would make things way too complicated.
“What about you?” he asked, aching to both change the subject and hear her story so he could get to know her better. “Tell me about your childhood. Where did you grow up?”
A brief shadow crossed her face, so swift he might have imagined it. “In Boston. I’ve worked hard to lose the accent. And my childhood was nothing extraordinary,” she said. Her tone was matter-of-fact, but he sensed she’d had her own trials and tribulations to deal with. Most everyone did, it seemed. Individuals who’d had a picture-perfect youth were few and far between.
“Tell me, anyway,” he prodded. “I’m genuinely interested.”
She gave him a sideways glance, as if she found that difficult to believe. “My parents were older and I was their only child. I always felt like an afterthought and I probably was. They sent me away as soon as they could, to an all-girls school in Switzerland.”
“I can relate to that,” he told her. “I wasted a lot of my younger years hoping if I was good enough, my dad might notice me.” The rawness of his own admission left him stunned. He hadn’t meant to tell her that. He considered it private, one of his deepest, darkest secrets. Yet on some level, he truly believed Vanessa would understand.
She nodded. “Me, too. I spent all my time trying to please my folks, because I believed if I did well enough at something, at anything, maybe they’d love me enough to let me return home to Boston.” She laughed, a painful sound. “Pretty silly, wasn’t I? Because they never did. Instead, they viewed each success as validation they were doing the right thing, that I belonged in Switzerland. By the time I realized I’d been knocking myself out for nothing, I was about to graduate. I felt like such a fool.”
“No.” This time he reached out and covered her hand with his. “You weren’t. And I felt the same way as a kid.” He took a deep breath and then forced himself to remove his hand. “What did you do after graduation?”
She shrugged. “Though I toyed with the idea of taking a year off, I didn’t. In keeping with their plan to have me as far away from them as possible, my parents wanted me to go to university in London. This time, rather than falling in with what they wanted, I refused.” Her chin came up and she smiled, though a touch of sadness remained in her pretty blue eyes. “I had my own plans, you see.”
Intrigued, he waited.
“In Switzerland, I learned to ski. And it turned out I was pretty darn good at it.” Her smile widened, inviting him to take part in her joy. “While all the other kids were partying and living it up, I was on the slopes. I spent all my spare time perfecting my skill.”
“You must have truly enjoyed it,” he commented.
Just like that, her expression turned serious. “Yes. I did. Skiing was the only thing that gave me pleasure.”
More than anything, he wanted her to look happy again. “Does that mean you became a ski bum?” he teased. “Can’t say I blame you. We get more than a few of those here in Roaring Springs.”
“I wanted to, but I’m too ambitious to just drift along, spending all my time in pursuit of pleasure.”
Her self-conscious half smile made his chest ache. “Me, too,” he said. “That’s why I work so much.”
Gaze faraway, she nodded. Remy let his own eyes roam her features while she sat lost in thought. He was amazed once more at how beautiful he found her, even though her features weren’t classically perfect.
When she didn’t speak again, he prodded her, just a little. “If you didn’t become a professional skier, then what did you do?”
“I decided to go to the University of Colorado in Boulder, mostly due to the proximity to the slopes. I had vague dreams of competing.”
“Did you?” Intrigued again, he watched her.
“No. My parents would have been appalled. I think they were relieved I hadn’t chosen a school closer to home. Once I graduated, I decided to stay in Boulder. End of story.”
Except he sensed there might be more. “Now that you’re an adult, why haven’t you pursued your dream of competing? If you’re that good, it seems like a waste of talent not to.”
Sorrow darkened her eyes. “Thank you for saying that. Actually, I’d reached the same realization myself. I started skiing a lot—that’s how I met Seth, you know. He seemed to understand my drive. Oh, I was fiercely intent on getting ready for my first competition. I’d entered and had my number and everything.”
“Did you win?”
She shook her head. “I never even made it to the competition. Instead of spending every waking moment on the slopes, I truly wish I’d have made a trip home to Boston. The day before the big competition, both my parents were killed in a car wreck. I got the news in a phone call.”
Aching to comfort her, he tightened his hand around hers. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” She lifted her face and met his gaze. The pain and grief in her eyes made him long to take her into his arms. Luckily, the table separated them so he settled for holding on to her hand. She didn’t pull away.
“Everything was a blur after that,” she admitted. “Since my parents and I never managed to have a close relationship, I felt cheated. And was beyond devastated. I went back east to plan their funeral and begin settling their estate. I’m still dealing with all that. Through it all, Seth was there for me, without question. That’s partly why I felt like I owed it to him to explain.”
Seth. She’d managed to effectively remind him of his brother. Yet he still couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hand. A second later, she did it for him, as she gently pulled her fingers free and wrapped them around her cup.
Lump in his throat, he took out his phone and made a show of checking his emails. Nothing work-related or even slightly important.
Once he’d placed his phone back in his pocket, he looked up to find her watching him. “I’m glad you came here,” he said gruffly. “It takes a big heart to try and make things right after a breakup.”
Taking another sip of her cider, she sighed. “I don’t know. Clearly, I messed that up, too. It would have been better if I’d never contacted him. I should have just stayed away.”
He wanted to tell her again he was glad she hadn’t. Because then, he never would have met her. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and said nothing. Flirtation, even if heartfelt, was the last thing either of them needed right now. Plus, as long as his brother still had feelings for her, Vanessa would be strictly off-limits as far as Remy was concerned.
Maybe forever.
Damn, how that possibility burned.
“Seth will be fine,” he assured her. “It’s likely he just needs a little more time.”
“I hope so.” She drank more of her cider. “I really hope he’s able to move past this and everything else. Conquering demons is never easy. Believe me, I know.”
