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But she was wrong. He sifted all she’d said, realising it wasn’t really him she wanted, but some emasculated version of himself that existed only in her mind.
She didn’t know him, had never really known him.
If she had any idea of the darkness within him, or of the urges he suppressed right now—none of them decent or honourable, all of them primitive and utterly indecent—she’d run a mile.
It was time to stop this.
Tariq looked into her eager, open face. ‘You honour me with your offer, Samira. But the answer is no. I won’t marry you.’
CHAPTER THREE (#u17b71c3f-2a6a-58fc-bc34-7d79103d8785)
SAMIRA HAD STEELED HERSELF for rejection but the reality was harder than she’d imagined.
The force of her disappointment threatened to take her out at the knees. Despite spending a lifetime projecting an image of calm, no matter how traumatic her reality, Samira felt her bottom lip begin to quiver.
She bit it. Hard.
She blinked and locked her knees, grateful her skirt hid her shaky legs.
Another second and she summoned up a semblance of a smile, ignoring the stagnant well of disappointment at the heart of her. She breathed deep, as if her lungs didn’t feel brittle and papery, like they were about to tear apart.
‘Thank you for hearing me out, Tariq.’ There, her voice was even and admirably cool. Not the voice of a woman who felt her last hope of happiness had been snatched away.
It had been an outrageous idea. She’d known it from the start. Foolish of her to pursue it.
‘I knew even as I asked that I wouldn’t suit. You need a much more appropriate wife than I could ever be.’
She glanced around for her bag, only to realise she still wore it over her shoulder. She unclenched her hands and grabbed the thin leather strap for something to do.
‘What do you mean, more appropriate?’ Tariq’s searing gaze pinned her to the spot.
‘Let’s not go there, Tariq. There’s no point.’ Samira stretched her smile wider and her taut facial muscles ached at the strain. ‘It’s time I left. I’ll say goodbye and wish you and your family all the best for the future. Thank you again for making time to see me.’
She was turning away, desperate to be alone, when long fingers closed around her upper arm.
Instantly she stilled as shock waves ripped through her body.
It had been four years since any man, apart from her brother, had touched her. And this was different—as if a channel of fiery liquid coursed under her skin.
Samira frowned, trying to remember Jackson Brent’s touch ever having inflamed such a reaction. But all she could remember were his charming smile, his easy lies and his insistence on kissing her in front of the paparazzi despite her protests.
‘What did you mean, Samira?’
Experimentally she tugged her arm. His hold remained firm.
A glance at his face, now close, confirmed he had no intention of relenting.
She remembered that look of adamantine determination from her early teens. Tariq had been visiting Asim and had somehow found out about her one act of rebellion in an otherwise cloistered, well-behaved life. She’d secretly been slipping out, dune-driving without supervision or a crash helmet. He hadn’t lectured her. It was as if he’d understood her need to escape her miserable home life, just for a few hours. He’d simply said he knew she had more sense than to risk her neck that way again and made her promise never to drive without him or Asim. He’d known her promise would bind her.
But she wasn’t a teenager trying to cope with her parents’ manipulation in their battle for supremacy. Why did he drag this out instead of letting her leave with some dignity intact?
She shrugged. ‘No doubt your advisors wouldn’t approve of you choosing a wife like me.’ She took a step away, only to pull up short when he refused to release her.
‘First, I make my own decisions, Samira, not my advisors; and second, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
Samira whipped around, her eyebrows arching in disbelief. ‘Don’t be coy, Tariq. We both know I’m tainted.’ When his face remained impassive she leaned closer, hurt turning to anger that he made her spell this out. ‘“Soiled goods”, isn’t that the phrase?’ Her chin hiked up, but given his enormous height she couldn’t look down her nose at him.
‘In both our countries there are people who disapprove of me, a woman who’s never been married but who had a lover.’ She tugged in a swift breath. Her heart hammered and her chest rose and fell as if she’d just finished an hour’s aerobic workout in the gym. But that was nothing to the distress curling deep inside.
‘I thought that wouldn’t matter to you since you’d already been married to a virtuous woman who gave you heirs. I’d assumed you weren’t hung up on the old ways. But I see I was wrong.’
She’d told herself again and again she had nothing to be ashamed of, having chosen to be with the man she loved. Perhaps that would have been true if Jackson had proved himself worthy of her love. But he’d betrayed her brutally, proved her a fool, her judgement and her dream of love fatally flawed. Instead of the luxury of dealing with her pain and disillusionment privately, it had all been blasted across the press. Her loss of innocence had provided fodder for the voracious masses eager for the story of her heartbreak. She’d felt defiled.
Was it any wonder she refused to trust herself to romance again? No man could tempt her with talk of love. The very idea chilled her to the marrow.
This time she yanked her arm so hard in Tariq’s grip it hurt. But still he didn’t release her.
Instead he moved closer, dwarfing her with his height and his massive shoulders. But it was his eyes that held her.
‘Don’t tell me you believe that!’ His brow pleated as he looked down at her.
‘Why not?’ She glared back. ‘You’re seen with a new woman at almost every social event but none of them last. So it’s not as if you’re in a relationship and I’m poaching on anyone’s territory. I’m suitable, more than suitable, in every other way except for that.’
‘Your virginity...’ he paused on the word and the hairs on the back of her neck rose at his tone ‘...isn’t an issue for me. That might have been relevant a generation or more ago but things have changed.’
‘You think?’ Samira’s laugh was bitter. She surged forward into his personal space as unpleasant memories crowded. ‘Tell that to the men who’ve offered to set me up as their mistress! Men who wouldn’t dream of paying court to me as a possible wife. Men whose views haven’t quite galloped ahead into the twenty-first century.’ She paused, catching her breath, telling herself anger wouldn’t change anything. ‘Of course you don’t want to rock the boat when there are so many who still think that way.’
Tariq’s face turned to stone, but his eyes blazed with a heat that almost scared her.
‘Who has insulted you like that?’ His fingers dug into her arm.
‘Tariq! Let me go. You’re hurting.’ Fear trickled through her insides at his fierce expression. She couldn’t recall him ever looking this way. It was like staring into the face of a warrior intent on blood.
‘My apologies.’ The words were stilted but in an instant his hand was gone, the savage light in his eyes muted.
Yet Samira was still trapped. His big frame cornered her, blocking access to the door.
‘Who was it?’ He growled, the sound tracking across her skin and burrowing deep inside. ‘Tell me.’
‘Why? There’s no point.’ Restlessly her fingers slid along the slim strap of her bag. ‘I’m not accepting their offers.’ She shivered. Such an arrangement would destroy her.
‘Does Asim know?’
Samira’s lips twisted. ‘You think I’d tell my brother about that? You have to be joking.’
She’d had enough trouble getting Asim to promise not to lay a hand on Jackson Brent all those years ago. Vengeance wouldn’t help, only inflame the situation. Now here was Tariq, looking like he wanted to take somebody apart limb from limb.
A kernel of heat flared in the cold emptiness of her abdomen. He mightn’t want her but he cared enough to be incensed on her behalf.
Samira sighed; his protectiveness was one of the attributes that would make him a wonderful husband and father.
She straightened to her full height, wishing she’d worn higher heels so she didn’t feel so dwarfed. It wasn’t just his size. He bristled with a furious energy that made her far too aware of the solid muscle and power in that long, strong body of his.
She dragged in oxygen, telling herself she wasn’t overawed by this macho male. Wasn’t her brother another of the same?
Her deep, sustaining breath drew in something new: sandalwood and spice and hot, male flesh. Her nostrils flared eagerly and she stiffened, stunned as a swirl of reaction eddied within.
Samira stepped back, disturbed at the way her body betrayed her.
‘Not so fast.’ Tariq paced with her, hemming her against a sofa. ‘I want to know—’
‘No. You don’t.’ Finally Samira reasserted herself, projecting the composure she gathered about herself when the going got tough. ‘It’s none of your business, Tariq. You’re not my keeper. In fact you’ve just passed up the opportunity to be anything to me but an old friend. An acquaintance.’
His mouth flattened and she sensed his keen brain sifting her words. He didn’t like them but there was nothing he could do.
‘So, once more, thank you for your time and goodbye.’
She didn’t offer to shake hands. The imprint of his touch still burned her upper arm. Not from pain but, she assured herself, because she wasn’t used to being so close to a man. The tremulous little stirrings in her belly—the quickened breathing, the reaction to his skin’s aroma—were proof of that. It wasn’t anything personal.
‘Wait.’
Samira hesitated, then slowly lifted her eyes to his. There it was again, a twinge of something that felt far too much like physical awareness.
‘What is it?’ The words shot out, crisp with challenge.
‘Have you asked anyone else?’
Her eyes widened. ‘To marry me?’ Did he think she’d lined up a list of candidates to interview by the hour?
What sort of woman did he think she was?
Desperate.
The word surfaced despite her efforts to suppress it. And she was. But not desperate enough to do this more than once. Today’s humiliation was enough.
Besides, only Tariq had tempted her to think of marriage. There was no other man she trusted enough.
‘Only you,’ she said at last, daring him to preen at the compliment.
‘And will you ask anyone else?’ He leaned closer, looming over her as if to intimidate.
Except Samira was undaunted. She might have laid herself open to rejection but she had her pride. That and her determination never to give up were what kept her going. She didn’t need his interference or his sympathy.
Anger spiked.
Deliberately she reached out and tweaked the precise knot in his silk tie, twitching it unnecessarily, then patting it in place, ignoring the heat of bone and solid muscle beneath his shirt.
‘It’s kind of you to be interested in my plans, Tariq, but what I do is none of your business. It ceased to be when you rejected my proposal.’ She favoured him with a gracious smile that masked her desire to see him squirm. ‘I’ll give your regards to Asim and Jacqui when I see them, shall I?’
His hand clamped over hers as she made to withdraw it. He pressed her palm against the crisp, body-warmed cotton of his shirt so she caught the steady, strong beat of his heart beneath her touch. It felt too intimate.
She should have known not to play provocative games with Tariq. He had so much more experience than her.
‘Not just yet.’ He paused, his keen gaze roving her features. ‘Come back tomorrow for my final answer.’
Samira stared back, hope and disbelief vying for supremacy, anticipation stirring. ‘You seriously want time to consider?’
His thumb stroked hers in a long sweep, drawing a tiny, jittering reaction through her.
‘You raised some persuasive points.’ He murmured in that dangerously deep voice. ‘It would be premature to reject the idea out of hand.’
Did he hope to delay long enough to go behind her back and contact Asim, hoping her brother would scotch her plans?
As if it mattered. She wasn’t in the market for just any husband. If Tariq turned her down, that was it.
‘You’ve changed your tune.’ Samira narrowed her gaze and pulled her hand from his before the tingling in her fingers spread up her arm.
He shrugged, the movement emphasising his superior size and strength, but she refused to be intimidated. ‘You took me by surprise. I need to think about it.’
Slowly, Samira nodded. She’d give him the benefit of the doubt. What other choice did she have? She smiled, hope rising tentatively, and watched something flicker and intensify in that deep gaze.
‘I understand. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly.’ She hesitated, searching for the right words. ‘You needn’t worry, either, that I’d interfere with your...personal life.’ A flush warmed her cheeks but she ploughed on. It had to be said and it might be a clinching argument in her favour. ‘I know you have a lot of lovers and I don’t expect...’ Samira paused, searching for words.
‘You don’t expect me to give them up? Is that it? You give me carte blanche to play the field?’ Tariq’s tone was harsh and for some reason she didn’t understand why he looked angry.
Samira frowned, wondering what she’d said to stir his temper. Surely she was offering the sort of arrangement any man would appreciate?
She understood his decency, his honour and strength, but after so many years apart he was a stranger in many ways.
‘I’m not looking for love or sex, Tariq.’ Valiantly she suppressed a shudder at the thought of deluding herself with either, making herself vulnerable again. ‘I don’t expect you to pretend you feel for me what you did for your first wife.’ She’d had her fill of pretence from a man. All she wanted was honesty. ‘And it would be unfair to expect you to be celibate. I understand a man like you has needs.’
‘Needs?’ Tariq’s gaze honed to shards of rough-cut emerald.
‘Yes.’ Samira swallowed, refusing to be daunted, reminding herself that she was worldly and experienced. ‘Sexual needs. But it’s companionship I want from you, Tariq. Respect and support. The shared bond of caring for your children. A purpose in life.’
She petered to a stop, feeling she’d revealed too much. ‘I want to be a reasonable wife, Tariq.’
A reasonable wife.
The words echoed with a dull clang in the void where Tariq’s heart supposedly lodged.
He couldn’t believe he was hearing this.
Samira—gorgeous, seductive Samira—was offering herself in marriage and telling him in the same breath she didn’t want to consummate the arrangement?
How did women come to have such twisted, unfathomable minds?
He’d never heard anything so preposterous.
