A Cat Called Alfie

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Tiger lay down in the bush, looking pensive.

‘You’ve got Jonathan and Claire, and Polly and Matt now. Don’t you think that it’s time to accept that you have families who love you and you don’t need to look for any more homes?’ Tiger yawned, a long lazy yawn; lecturing me always seemed to take it out of her.

I knew in my little heart that what she was saying was true, but knowing something and feeling it were two completely different things.

We watched as the men took the last of the boxes out of the van, and then shut the door. They took them into the house, emerging again a few minutes later.

‘I really don’t know how to thank you,’ the slim man said. He looked sad. I had crept closer, so I could hear more clearly.

‘Hey, don’t worry about it. That’s what family’s for,’ the other one replied, patting him on the back.

‘I know but, well, where we are now, what’s happened, I just don’t know how to—’ His voice broke with emotion; my eyes widened.

‘That’s it then?’ The other man changed the subject.

‘Yup. That’s pretty much everything we own, done now.’ He laughed bitterly.

‘Come on, little brother, it’ll be fine,’ the first man said.

‘I wish I could believe you,’ he replied, as they got into the van and drove off.

‘Wow, now I am definitely intrigued,’ I mused, as we watched them go.

‘Alfie, I really think it’s time to give up looking for new homes,’ Tiger stated with another yawn. I looked over at her and realized it was definitely time for bed. Tiger might be a young cat like me, but boy did she need her sleep.

‘You’re right, I’m sure,’ I agreed, ‘but then, once a doorstep cat always a doorstep cat.’

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Two (#ulink_560db057-51fa-5c8b-bb07-324642115387)

My house was in darkness as I jumped through the cat flap. I wasn’t surprised, it was late. I lapped up some water, before taking myself off to my cat bed, upstairs on the landing.

After Claire and Jonathan first got together, I was still splitting my time between their two houses and the other two flats. I took credit for their relationship as I introduced them. It was funny; I had been planning to do so but it actually happened unwittingly. When I was injured and recovering at the vet, Jonathan went looking for me, and Claire realized I was his cat too. They fell in love, being perfect for each other, and were together for six months before Claire and I moved into Jonathan’s house. A year later they got married. It was my first experience of a human wedding. I was even part of the ceremony, which was held in a small church not far from Edgar Road. I was so excited until they put a lead on me – oh the indignity! – but I forgave them because they included me in their special day, plus they gave me pilchards to eat. Yum. I stayed with my other family, Polly, Matt, Henry and their new baby, Martha, while they went on what they called a ‘honeymoon’, but now I lived with Jonathan and Claire almost full time.

As I lay in my bed, thinking about the new family, I was unable to figure out why on earth anyone would move boxes in the middle of the night. I also couldn’t stop thinking about how upset the man seemed. He definitely sounded like a human in need from my experience; someone who could clearly do with my help. I was still fretting over it as I fell asleep.

I woke the following morning later than usual. I had a good long stretch, and then made my way to Claire and Jonathan’s room where they were still asleep. It was the weekend, so they didn’t have to get up early. However, I was hungry and it was definitely past my usual breakfast time. Luckily they hadn’t fully shut the bedroom door so I pushed it open.

I jumped up onto the bed, climbed onto Claire’s chest and miaowed loudly.

‘Arggh, Alfie,’ Claire started as she sat up and found me sitting on her. ‘Why do you always sit on me and not him?’ she asked, gesturing to Jonathan who was clearly pretending to still be asleep.

I miaowed to say that I sat on her because Jonathan could be really grumpy in the morning; Claire was a better bet.

‘I get it,’ she continued. ‘It’s breakfast time.’ She got up and pulled her dressing gown off the chair next to the bed and put it on.

‘And while you’re up, coffee would be great,’ Jonathan said, still refusing to open both eyes. I stood over him on the bed, tickling his cheek with my tail until he was forced to open his eyes and sit up. ‘Get off me, Alfie, I can’t bear it,’ he said, stroking me, but at the same time gently pushing me away.

‘Good one, Alfie,’ Claire said, giggling. She picked me up, tucked me under one arm and carried me downstairs with her.

‘Claire, Claire.’ Jonathan appeared, breathless some time later. ‘Have you seen my trainers?’ he asked, stopping to bend down to stroke me. I had finished my breakfast and licked myself clean by the time he appeared.

‘In the cupboard under the stairs, where we keep all the shoes,’ she replied with a tut. Claire was incredibly tidy; the house was always immaculate, yet still Jonathan couldn’t seem to find anything. Claire said it was a ‘man thing’, although that certainly didn’t apply to me. Luckily I was a very clean and tidy cat who appreciated order, so we all lived well together.

‘I’ll have another look, you know how hopeless I am.’ He kissed her. It was one of those long kisses you see in films, and I felt as if I was intruding a bit as I covered my eyes with my paws. As I uncovered them, he pinched her bottom and went off again to search for the elusive trainers. Claire’s face was pink with happiness and every time I saw her like that I remembered why I had wanted them to be together in the first place. It wasn’t perfect – I had learnt that perfect relationships rarely existed, either for cats or humans – but Jonathan and Claire made each other happy nearly all the time and we had a sunny, loving home. Tiger was right, I was lucky with the life I had and sometimes I really needed to remember that.

‘Found them!’ Jonathan came back into the kitchen looking triumphant, brandishing his trainers. ‘Right, darling, I’ll go to the gym then we can go out for lunch when I get back?’

‘Lovely, and I’ll put my feet up until you get back,’ she said, hugging him. ‘By the way, you do know what today is, don’t you?’

‘Um, Saturday?’ Jonathan replied.

‘You know what I mean,’ Claire said in a very quiet voice. Not that she needed to whisper as I had no idea what that meant.

‘I hadn’t forgotten, my love.’ He smiled and kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll see you later.’ I noticed him wink before he left.

Humans, I often say, are funny creatures. I love them very much and they take good care of me, but I don’t suppose I will ever fully figure them out. Take Jonathan and his trainers. He knows where they’re kept but he opens the cupboard, doesn’t see them, asks Claire, and then finds them where he looked in the first place. Jonathan does it with everything and for some reason Claire seems to find it funny and endearing, whereas I think it’s annoying. It’s not like he’s stupid but he definitely acts as if he is sometimes.

And Claire, she whispers a lot in front of me, although she doesn’t know just how much I actually understand. Which is quite a lot. I’m pretty sure when she speaks softly like that, it’s because they are trying to have a baby. I know what a baby is; I’ve had experience with Henry and Martha who live down the road. Plus, we cats quite like babies – they are small and warm and a bit like us in some ways.

But they haven’t got pregnant yet. I know it makes Claire upset sometimes and I worry because she was sad a lot of the time when I first knew her and although she seems happy life is unpredictable, and things can change in the flick of a switch.

A little while after Jonathan had left, the doorbell rang out and I rushed to the front door with Claire. She opened it to find Polly, from my other home, standing on the doorstep with a beautiful smile on her face. Claire and Polly were close friends now, and I’d brought them together too.

‘Hi.’ Claire beamed back at her. I purred and went to greet Polly. When I first met her she never smiled, but now she did all the time. She was so beautiful that she lit up everyone with her smile, even me. All my humans were attractive in their own ways but Polly was stunning. Everyone agreed but Polly laughed it off and was probably the least vain person I knew – she was certainly less concerned with her appearance than I was with mine.

‘Hope you don’t mind me popping in but you said that Jon was going to the gym. Matt’s just taken the kids to the park so I’ve managed to escape.’

‘Don’t be silly, of course I don’t mind, come in.’ Claire stood aside.

‘Hi, Alfie.’ Polly bent down to pet me. She and I were good friends now; we had come a long way since we first met.

Claire made a pot of coffee and as they settled round the kitchen table, I manoeuvred myself to sit at Polly’s feet, casually brushing my tail against her legs.

‘I’m not sure I should be drinking coffee,’ Claire said, taking a sip.

‘Are you?’ Polly asked.

‘No, I’m not pregnant but I am ovulating.’

‘Take my advice, hon, just try to relax. I was drinking more than just coffee when I got pregnant with both of mine. Don’t put pressure on it, don’t make it too much of a thing.’ Polly looked concerned, so I rubbed against her legs.

‘I try to tell myself that. But you know what I’m like, I get overwrought; I worry about everything. I’m worried that since we’ve decided to have a baby it’ll consume me until it happens.’ Claire looked pensive. I also felt bothered about it; she was an anxious person and that’s why my getting her and Jonathan together had been a genius move on my part. Jonathan was a complex man – much like myself in many ways – but he treated Claire well. He was old fashioned in some respects and took care of her, at the same time letting her take care of the home, which she seemed to like. I didn’t fully understand it, being a cat, but I was learning. Jonathan was like a strong man who kept Claire from being too nervous and sad and she felt safe with him. He could be grumpy but he had a heart of gold and he was loyal to her. Loyalty is so important, I had discovered.

‘And that’s totally normal, although I really think you need to not let it take over. I mean look at all those unwanted pregnancies. I’m sure it’s because the girls don’t think about babies that they get knocked up.’ Polly laughed.

‘I can’t stop myself now, though.’ Claire smiled. ‘Although you’re right, I do need to relax.’ Claire went to the cupboard and pulled out a biscuit tin that she put on the table.

‘So what does Jonathan think?’ Polly asked, as she munched on a biscuit.

‘He thinks we should just enjoy trying and make the most of it, typical man.’ Claire smiled.

‘Then, try to do that. He’s right.’

‘I know, but unlike me Jon is all huff and puff; he’s got a short temper but then he’s able to let things go easily, he doesn’t stew on things thank goodness. I think he’ll make a good dad.’

Polly reached over and gave Claire’s hand a squeeze.

‘You’ll both make great parents, better than me anyway,’ she said with a sad smile.

‘Come on, Pol, when are you going to forgive yourself?’ Claire asked.

When I first met Polly she was in a bad way. It was discovered that she had post-natal depression which means you are sad after having a baby, and in a way I was responsible for her getting help. Henry was a happy, healthy baby and now he was a very contented little boy but it took a while before Polly got better. When she had baby Martha just over a year ago, she had been terrified that she would feel that way again, but thankfully she didn’t. They are now a happy family and I love having Henry and Martha as my playmates.

‘I don’t think I ever will. I know, deep down, it wasn’t my fault, but because everything was so good with Martha I guess I’ll always feel guilty about Henry. Anyway, that’s just something that I’ll have to accept; but you don’t need to worry about that.’ Polly looked pensive.

‘No, I am going to have enough trouble worrying about not getting pregnant.’ Claire paused. ‘My friend Tasha is having acupuncture.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Well she swears it doesn’t hurt. She and her boyfriend have been trying a while, and I’m kind of toying with giving it a go. It’s just Jon worries that the more I do to get pregnant the more of a state I’ll get into, like a vicious circle.’

‘I agree, and I couldn’t do it, I hate needles.’ Polly shuddered.

Claire poured more coffee and as I slid into a half-dozing state, they chatted about work and the house, the topic of babies safely abandoned.

‘Anyway, lovely, I better go, and make them all some lunch,’ Polly said as they finished their drinks. ‘But remember Franceska and the boys are coming over tomorrow. They want to see Alfie.’

I opened my eyes and miaowed loudly to say I wanted to see them too.

‘I swear that cat understands everything we say,’ Claire said, picking me up so we could both see Polly to the door.

Goodness, I loved my humans but they weren’t always very clever. Of course I could. I understood nearly everything anyway.

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Three (#ulink_59a2a80e-baf2-5e57-ac6e-140ae1f95364)

Despite Tiger’s best efforts, I was loath to go for our usual morning constitutional in case I missed a minute with Aleksy and little Tomasz. Aleksy was my first child friend ever; I met him when he moved to Edgar Road, and he and I had an unshakable bond as a result. Although I was fond of his younger brother, Tomasz – who confusingly had the same name as his dad – and of course Henry and Martha, Aleksy was my best child friend.

‘We can watch the empty house,’ I suggested to Tiger. It was close enough to Polly’s for me to keep an eye on both, and watch for the arrival of Aleksy. Since the activity on Friday night there had been nothing more happening, which made the empty house even more mysterious. Still no one seemed to live there.

‘Alfie, nothing is happening. I might go and see what the other cats on the street are doing,’ Tiger said huffily. I looked at her, with my most charming expression, but she wouldn’t look at me.

‘Women’, I thought to myself, an expression I had learnt from Jonathan.

‘OK, but we can play later,’ I suggested, still trying to placate her, but she stalked off. I knew she would sulk for a while but then she’d forget to be angry. Tiger didn’t hold grudges; that was why we remained good friends, but she could be temperamental. I had heard Jonathan saying that most women were, and Claire always shouted at him when he said that, so I am pretty sure he is right.

I padded around the front garden of the empty house on my own. The people who lived there previously were a house share; five young professionals – that was how Claire described them. Although they were nice enough they were barely there and had no interest in cats, so I was unfamiliar with the house.

There was no sign of anyone and, apart from the boxes and furniture, the house was still puzzlingly empty. I still hadn’t been able to figure out why they would have moved their stuff in, in the middle of the night, and not themselves. It made no sense. A mystery. I jumped up onto a low windowsill of a front room to make sure, but nothing had changed. As I jumped down I let my mind wander again, thinking about who might soon be living there. I imagined a lovely family, older children maybe, as I didn’t have any of them in my life. Hopefully they would be fish-lovers too (eating not keeping), so I would get plenty of treats. And I prayed that there would be absolutely, definitely no dogs.

I smiled to myself as I left the front garden and walked up the road to Polly’s house. When I first met Polly and Matt they lived in a flat but now they had a house. It was a lovely, cosy home. Polly had put a lot of work into the decor, and there were lots of pictures, photos and vibrant cushions in the living room. It made it very comfortable when I visited, and they even had a cat bed for me. After all, it was my second home.

I stood at the front door. I could have gone around the back to where they had put in a cat flap, but I wanted to greet Aleksy the minute he arrived. My little legs were almost shaking with excitement as I waited. The weather wasn’t too bad; it was warmish and there were glimpses of sun for me to bask in. I also spent a bit of time smelling the flowers that Polly had planted, lots of red, yellow and orange coloured buds. I was careful not to get too close; last year Tiger put her nose into a flower and had been stung by a bee. She had to go to the vet and was in a lot of pain, and then had to have a nasty injection. There was no way I wanted that to happen to me. After carefully sniffing from a safe distance, I lay down in a patch of sunlight, to sunbathe.

‘Alfie,’ a familiar voice said a little while later. I opened my eyes. Aleksy was standing over me, smiling. He looked such a big boy now – he’d recently had his seventh birthday – in his jeans and sweatshirt. He had been in England for three years and although I still knew little about Poland where they had come from, he seemed to be becoming more and more English every time I saw him.

I stood up and purred in greeting. Aleksy picked me up and I nestled into his neck. Little Tomasz stroked me and I purred at him to let him know how pleased I was to see him as well.

‘Right, boys, let’s go in, including you, Alfie,’ Franceska, the boys’ mum said, leaning down to stroke me. Franceska was a lovely calm lady and had worked very hard to help her family settle in England. Although she had served in a shop for a while, she now worked with her husband, big Tomasz, in his restaurant when her boys were at school. I had never been there, it was quite far from Edgar Road for a cat to venture, but I had heard from my families that it was pretty good, popular and they were doing well. I actually wished I could go and visit them, just to see where they lived. The family now lived in a flat over the restaurant and I missed them. When they lived on Edgar Road, I used to see Aleksy almost every day and now we only saw each other once a week.

We were all in Polly’s warm front room. Martha was holding onto the dark blue sofa – she was learning to walk. I had learnt that whilst cats walk from birth, it takes humans longer, which is another thing that makes me wonder why they say that humans are cleverer than cats. I can think of many reasons why it’s the other way round, and not just the walking thing.

Henry and Tomasz immediately started playing with Henry’s train set. Tomasz was older than Henry but they played together well. I know Aleksy often said that he was too big to play with the younger boys but I could sometimes tell that he wished he could join in. Instead he played with me. He always kept toys for me and brought them over when he came. He took them out of his backpack now and although I often felt such playing was a bit beneath me, at six cat years, I indulged him and let him dangle a fake mouse, roll a ball and I even chased the ribbons and bells. It amused Martha anyway, who was trying to balance and grab my tail at the same time. I dodged easily, but knew if she kept trying it wouldn’t end well for her.

When Polly and Franceska returned from the kitchen, they had a tray with hot drinks for the grown-ups, squash for the children and a plate of biscuits. Immediately the boys descended on the biscuits.

‘Only one each,’ Franceska said, but I saw Aleksy take two with a grin.

Polly picked up Martha to give her a bottle of milk and when I miaowed, to say that I felt left out, Polly grinned.

‘Frankie, can you get Alfie some milk? He obviously wants a snack too.’ I followed Franceska to the kitchen and lapped up the milk when it was presented to me. Aleksy followed me in and we found ourselves alone. The kitchen had a small round table and four chairs on one side, in the dining area, and was fitted with grey wooden cupboards on the other. I don’t know much about interior design being a cat and only having a basket to call my own, but Polly definitely had a flair, because her home looked a bit like she did, as if it came from one of those glossy magazines that Claire liked to read. In fact, Claire was talking about getting her to help redecorate our house.

‘I miss you, Alfie,’ Aleksy said as I finished my milk. I looked at him, as I cleaned myself up, trying to read his eyes and my heart sank. I could see it, sadness in his little face, and it caused me physical pain. I was always greatly affected by the emotions of my humans but the children, especially Aleksy, were the worst. I rubbed myself against his legs to tell him I missed him too. ‘Sometimes I think we should still live here when I could see you every day,’ he said. I purred in concurrence.

‘Aleksy.’ Tomasz ran into the kitchen like the whirlwind he was. Aleksy was the sensitive child whereas little Tomasz was more physical.

‘What, Tommy?’ Aleksy asked.

‘Claire is here and she bought us a present.’ Tomasz shook with excitement and Aleksy’s eyes lit up as he ran into the living room.

Whatever was bothering Aleksy would obviously have to wait.

‘Alfie.’ Claire scooped me up. ‘I was looking for you. I swear this cat is still as elusive as ever, I sometimes wonder if he’s found other homes.’

‘Surely not?’ Franceska said.

‘Well, he’s always out and about. Who knows? He stays with us most nights but …’

‘Well he visits us most days,’ Polly pointed out.

I miaowed loudly. I might be curious about the residents moving into the new house, but I knew who my families were.

As I snuggled on Franceska’s lap I surveyed the living room with a swelling heart. The boys were all playing a game that Claire had bought them. Martha had fallen asleep, curled up beside Polly on the sofa, her chubby legs sticking out from a blanket. Claire was animated, Franceska stroked me as she listened and chatted, and Polly was smiling. I was such a lucky cat, I really was. My last thought, as like Martha, I took my nap, was how happy I felt to see love, happiness and my families in that room.