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Enid’s hand, mid-way to her wine glass again, froze. “Sometimes, Max, you act like I’m not Christine’s mother,” she complained. “I’ve spent the last twenty-eight years of my life being anxious about her.”
“I wonder why, Mum?” Kyall asked bleakly. “Chris has made a big success of herself, yet you and Gran spent your time trying to convince her she was an oddity, all long arms and legs. Don’t you know how cruel the two of you were to her?”
“Please, Kyall,” implored Christine, who had inherited much of her father’s peacemaker manner. “Let it drop. We’re all upset.”
“I certainly am,” Enid huffed, secure in the mistaken belief she had taken her responsibilities as a mother seriously. “My mother has only just been buried. Did any of you notice?”
“I don’t know that burying Gran is enough for me,” Kyall said with black humour. “It’s not as though she can stop off at the pearly gates. But I’m sure she’ll work out a deal at the dark end of town.”
“Kyall!” Enid’s face was shocked. “That’s dreadful!”
“Maybe, but I don’t like her chances of going to heaven.”
“If there is such a place,” Enid responded tartly. “It seems to me we make our heaven and hell here.”
Kyall and Max went off to the library. Suzanne made a quick escape to her room. And Enid signalled by an imperious gesture of her right forefinger that she wished to speak to her only daughter.
“What do you make of Suzanne?” she asked in a worried tone of voice when they were seated in Enid’s spacious study, door shut.
“Make of her? Gosh, Mum, why throw that at me? Suzanne’s family. I mean, is that any way to put it?”
“You’ve got a better way?” Enid asked, looking as if she very much wanted to hear it.
“Keep that tone up, Mum, and I’m ready to leave,” Christine promised wryly, thinking that whenever she came into contact with her mother there was confrontation.
“Good grief, Christine, I don’t want any arguments.” Enid looked genuinely victimized. “I never know how to talk to you; you’re so different.”
“That’s why I stay away.” Christine stared around the room, cluttered with trophies and photographs of her brother. She and Kyall were so alike, but being a female was her stumbling block. It was splendid to be a male of six foot plus. Problematic in a female. For years she’d been made so self-conscious it had been all she could do to cross a room without stumbling over the furniture.
“I understood you stayed away because of your grandmother.” Enid pressed back in her comfortable armchair. “God knows, she gave us all hell—but things are different now. I want to do the best I possibly can for you, and for Suzanne. She is, after all, Stewie’s child. I loved my brother. We were such lonely, largely ignored children.”
Christine, never the daughter her mother had wanted, laughed. “Join the group. Let’s face it, Mum, beside Kyall I wasn’t worth paying any attention to. Kyall was everything. It should have made him unbearable, but it didn’t turn out that way. He’s a good man. He deserves his Sarah. As for me, I was judged exclusively on my looks. I wasn’t the lovely little doll you wanted.”
“You had no interest in clothes.” Her mother made the charge as though it were important. “Except boys’ shirts and jodhpurs. I was worried you might have ‘problems’. Why, after all this time, have you decided to tackle me about it?”
“Maybe I’m trying to work off my own hurt and angry feelings, Mum. You gave me a terrible image of myself. It took me years before I could believe what everyone else was telling me. I’m among the best in the business.”
“My dear Christine, you look fine. Is that what you want to hear? Because it’s perfectly true. At thirteen, fourteen and the rest that was far from the case. You slumped badly. I was very worried about your height and your posture. I didn’t know when you were going to stop growing. That’s the first thing people notice when they meet you for the first time. Your height. And you will wear ludicrously high heels.”
“I’ve come to terms with my height, Mum. Why can’t you? It’s so trivial, anyway. I hope there’s a whole lot more to me than my looks. They don’t last forever.”
“True.” Enid smoothed her thick, glossy dark hair, which she persisted in wearing too short. “I try to do the best I can. I was never a beauty, like Mother, but I do look good when I dress up. At any rate I won your father’s heart.”
“Oh, Mum…” Christine, who loved her father dearly and was aware of his unhappiness, almost moaned. “Isn’t it time for you to make it up to Dad? He’s never had an easy time, with Gran running everyone’s life. Why don’t you two go on a world trip? Have a second honeymoon? You’ve heard of a honeymoon, haven’t you?”
“Is there something you’re trying to tell me, Christine?” Enid demanded indignantly. A few odd remarks had come to her ears of late, but she hadn’t paid much attention. Her marriage vows were set in stone as far as Enid was concerned.
Christine tried a gentle warning. “There’s just so much you can do to make things better. A lot depends on how you act from now on.”
“Are you trying to tell me your father isn’t happy?” Enid enunciated, very clearly. “That he might leave me? That isn’t his style,” she scoffed.
“You have to give him that.” Christine sighed. “But there’s no way you can guarantee the future. All I’m saying is, this is yours and Dad’s chance at a new life. How is Kyall’s marriage going to affect you? Sarah will be mistress of Wunnamurra. You were never very kind to Sarah either. She had to live with that for years. All the snobbery!”
“Sarah has forgiven me.” Enid stirred restlessly, wanting to bury her part in Sarah’s traumas. “And Kyall will still need us to help run the station. Your father and I are very involved in every aspect of the operation.”
“Kyall could easily employ staff if you wanted to do something else,” Christine suggested.
“Naturally we want to stay here. This is my home, Christine.” Enid adopted a fervent tone. “I was born here. I don’t think I could bear to leave it.”
“How does Dad feel? How does Kyall feel? And Sarah’s viewpoint is very important.”
“We haven’t discussed it.” Enid rose as if to signify that this oppressive, unwieldy conversation was coming to an end. “And you, Christine? I’m only your mother, but may I ask your plans?”
Christine lifted her dark head. “Well, I can’t say this is my home, Mum, now, can I? Any more than I can see it as poor little Suzy’s home. You’re not about to let go, are you?”
So unexpectedly challenged, Enid looked down at her daughter with a mixture of astonishment and disapproval. “Christine, you’re meddling in matters that don’t concern you. You know as well as I do Sarah is head of the hospital. That will take up all her time.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you? Things change.”
“I don’t intend to discuss it with you. You’ve never involved yourself with the running of Wunnamurra. You left the first moment you could, and I very much doubt if, for all your travels and the glamorous people you’ve mixed with, you’ve met anyone who could measure up to Mitchell Claydon. You were very foolish there, Christine. Very headstrong. You actually had Mitchell in the palm of your hand—the entire Claydon family was on side. Even mother approved the match—such a relief—but you flung it all away. For what?”
“The word’s freedom, Mum,” Christine said quietly. “Until you begin to take a long, hard look at yourself you’ll never understand that. Or me.”
“And I’ve got something to tell you, dear,” Enid retorted acerbically, well used to having the last word. “There’s a very good chance Mitchell will never forgive you.”
Christine laughed wryly. “Whenever I need comfort, Mum, I come to you. Actually, Julanne has asked me over for a visit.”
“When was this?” Enid’s dark eyes fired with interest.
“Today.”
“Then you’ll have to go,” Enid said, feeling a wave of maternal hope. Her daughter simply had no idea how she worried about her future. “Mitchell may not have lost all feeling for you after all. Though he’s got plenty of girls after him. That silly little Amanda Logan, for one. Throwing herself at him the last time I saw them together. Can’t say I blame her. Mitchell is quite a catch. My advice to you is to try and get yourself together. Decide what you want out of life. This may be your very last chance.”
Though Christine hated to agree with her mother, it seemed all at once that it was.
Kyall stopped her in the entrance hall, where masses of long-stemmed scarlet roses sat on the circular rosewood library table. Their perfume was a real force.
“Fancy an early-morning ride?” Kyall’s smile was full of sweetness and affection.
“What time do I need to get up?” she joked.
“Six okay for you, or are you played out?”
“It’s not as though I cried buckets at the funeral.” She made a sad face.
“No.” His own expression grew bleak.
“And what’s the big secret you’ve all been keeping from me?” She looked steadily into his eyes. “I know there is one. There’s more to be told than the miracle of finding your beautiful daughter, Kyall.”
“Of course there is, but I won’t lay it on you now.”
“My God, that bad? Gran probably had a hand in it.”
Kyall shook his head quickly, as if he couldn’t bear to discuss it then. “I can’t wait for you to meet Fiona.”
She touched her brother’s cheek very gently. “I’m counting the days until I do. My niece. I couldn’t be more thrilled for you and Sarah, Kyall. For our family.”
“You’ll love her, Chris,” Kyall promised. “And she’ll love you. She’s the very image of Sarah, just as we told you.”
“And when am I to hear the whole story?”
“Tomorrow,” Kyall promised. “We’ll ride out around six. Have breakfast together when we come back.” He took his sister’s face in his hands, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “It’s wonderful to have you back, Chris. I’ve hated the way you moved out of our lives. I’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed saying your name.”
“I’ve missed you too, Kyall.” Her answering smile was misty.
“We’ve both had a hard time.” He dropped his hands slowly. “It only takes one person in a family to inflict emotional wounds. That one person in ours was Gran. Her power and influence had a devastating effect on us all. Anyway…” He sighed heavily. “Now she’s gone we can work all our problems through. What I’d really like to know is how did you go with Mitch? I couldn’t help noticing that you were very engrossed in each other.”
Christine gave a short unhappy laugh. “Mitch is never going to forgive me.”
He gave her a sympathetic look. “I can understand more than most how he feels. You were always together, then you went away. Though I realize you had to make that decision.”
“Tell that to Mitch,” she said dismally.
“Do you think I haven’t? Mitch is my best friend. We’ve talked a lot about it, but when you’re in so much emotional pain it’s difficult to achieve objectivity. Everything seemed plain sailing for poor old Mitch. The two of you were going to get married eventually. You were born for each other. Born to live your lives together. You were so much in love.”
“As close as you and Sarah.”
“Both of you left and both of us kind of died,” Kyall responded with deep, remembered feeling.
“You had relationships.”
“Neither of us would deny it. We’re human. But Sarah is and always will be the love of my life.”
“I haven’t found anyone to replace Mitch either,” she confessed.
“You must have had lots of guys wanting a relationship?” Kyall considered, looking at his beautiful sister.
“I can’t commit.” She made a slight frustrated sound. “Deep down I can’t forget Mitch any more than you could forget Sarah. We’re alike in that way, the two of us. Single-minded.”
“It can make things very hard at times.” Kyall pondered. He stared down at his sister, deciding with pride she was stunning. The eyes, the mouth, the skin, the beautiful bone structure revealed by the way she had scraped her long dark mane back into a thick braid, just like she’d used to wear her hair when she was younger. But beyond all that it was a brave face. The face of a young woman who had made her own way in life. “I pray it’ll all end well, Chris. I want you to be happy. Mitch too. Both of you are very important to me. It would be wonderful if you could settle back into this life. But you have to contend with the fact Mitch is part of the land like me.”
“Do you think I haven’t taken that into account?” she answered gravely. “The land is your life. Fully and wholly. Perhaps for Mitch even more than for you. You’ve taken on so many business interests. Suppose I tell you I’ve missed my Outback home terribly. I’m like the rest of the ex-pats. I have to have Vegemite on my toast and burn a few gum leaves now and again just to recapture the scent of the bush. But you’re a man, Kyall. That was and remains the big issue. You’ve inherited Wunnamurra. I was kept out of it.”
“Would you want to run it?” he asked, prepared to extend to her all the sharing she needed.
“No.” She laughed and shook her head. “Too much back-breaking work. That’s your job, but I reckon I could help. I’ve been very good with handling my money. Among my peers I’m considered pretty smart.”
“You won’t get an argument from me.” He flashed a smile nearly identical to her own. “Listen, I’d love you to stay, Chris. You could take your rightful place. I have more irons in the fire than even you know. We’ve diversified a great deal more over the past six or seven years. We’ve moved into speciality foods and wine. We bought out Beauview Station in the Clare Valley, poured a lot of money into it, secured the services of a great wine maker. You’ll have to see it. Now you’re home I’d like to fill you in about the family holdings. I could find a nice little place for you on a board or two. I’m certain you’ve got a head for it. You should really know all about the family assets. You’re my sister.”
“And I’ve remained in the dark too long. I’d love to learn all about McQueen Enterprises. I guess that’s one reason you’re stuck with the name.” Christine considered that fact seriously. “To the Outback and the business world you are McQueen.”
Kyall grimaced. “It’s just that I feel guilty about Dad and his feelings.”
“You know Dad,” she said. “He’s accepted it. He knows the difficulties. He knows you love him. And we’re living proof of him. We have his smile, his height, and his beautiful blue eyes. It’s Mum who doesn’t fully appreciate his worth.”
“Then she might have a problem.” Kyall put his arm around his sister’s shoulders as they began to walk up the staircase.
Christine shot him a worried look.
“Dad’s seeing someone else, Chris.”
“Oh, God!” Why wasn’t she surprised? “Mum would die if he left her.”
“Ah, well! Mum’s been acting like they’re sister and brother instead of husband and wife. They have separate suites. She doesn’t push him away, and I’m fairly sure she loves him in her own way, but she doesn’t go out of her way to please him, if you know what I mean. There are plenty of women in the town who would love to have a little flutter with Dad. But he’s very careful about things like that. I think, given the situation, he’s been extraordinarily faithful, but he hasn’t had much of a life. With someone refined and discreet it’s another matter.”
“Oh, God!” Christine repeated on a soft wail. Although situations like this were commonplace, she hadn’t expected it to strike home. If her mother found out about another woman could she deal with it?
Christine didn’t think so.
Several days later she stood on Wunnamurra’s broad verandah, shielding her eyes from the brilliant light of the sun. She was waiting for Mitch to arrive, to fly her to Marjimba, having detailed one of the station hands to drive him from the airstrip to the homestead. She’d timed her visit to Marjimba to coincide with Kyall’s flight to Sydney.
His was a combined exercise—returning Suzanne to her boarding school and meeting with some new financial people—merchant bankers—McQueen Enterprises was considering dealing with.
There’d been some heart-wrenching moments an hour earlier when she’d seen Suzanne off. Suzanne had trudged down the front steps, her vision wavering with tears. The sight had upset Christine so much she’d found she had to hold back on her own.
“I hate school.” Suzanne had allowed the words to burst from her lips immediately they were underway in the Jeep.
“Sweetheart, just about everyone hates school.” Christine, at the driving wheel, gave her a sympathetic glance, “But you haven’t got much longer to go. Then it’ll be all over.”
“It’s been hell trying to hide how I feel. Everyone feels sorry for you for a while, then they forget. They have no idea what it’s like to lose your parents. You really do love me, don’t you, Chris?” Suzanne sent her cousin such an appealing look it would have melted stone.
“Hey, of course I love you.” Christine reached out her left hand to squeeze her cousin’s delicate shoulder. “You’re my little cousin. I’m only sorry I haven’t been around for you, so we could get to know each other much better and have some fun. But there’s the rest of our lives. Soon you’ll be free to launch yourself on the next exciting stage of your life. And I’ll be there to help.”
Suzanne shook her head plaintively. “I wish! But you fly off overseas all the time.”
“I’m considering staying put.”
“Are you serious?” Suzanne sounded amazed and delighted.
“Would I lie to you?”
“Actually…no.” Suzanne smiled for the first time that morning. “But what about your modelling? Don’t you have to give notice or something?”
“No, sweetie. I don’t want you to talk about this—it’s a secret for the time being—but I’ve been giving serious consideration to getting out of the business.”
“When you’re so hot?”
Christine laughed. “I’ve had quite a few years on the catwalks and magazine covers. It’s not as glamorous as you think.”
