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“On come on now,” Olivia urged. “What’s the problem, Grace? You’re not making a scrap of sense.”
“You oughta tell her,” the child chided Grace. “I’m Tali Corey.” Her hand stole to Olivia’s arm. “Are you gonna hate me?”
Olivia stared down at the little girl in a dazed silence. What had the child just said? Her head felt swimmy like she was about to faint. “How old are you, Tali?” she asked, thinking: This is Jason’s child. Who did she look like? She was neither Jason nor Megan. But she did look vaguely familiar.
“I’ll be seven next birthday,” Tali announced proudly. “I’m tall for my age. I’m as tall as my friend, Danny, but I don’t read silly comic books.”
Olivia shifted her gaze to Grace, her eyes ice-grey with shock. “What’s going on here, Grace?”
Grace began to shuffle her feet. “It wasn’t my place to tell you, Livvy.”
“Tell me what? That little Tali here has the run of the house? That she called Harry Uncle Harry? Where does she live? Where’s her mother? What’s she doing here now? She told me she was looking after you?”
“Little monkey!” Grace said fondly, shaking her head.
“Look don’t get mad,” Tali said, absorbing Olivia’s expression. “Don’t ask Gracie all those questions. Ask Dad.”
“He’s here?” By now Olivia felt so agitated she didn’t know if she could handle the situation.
“I’ll take you to him,” Tali offered helpfully. “You could start over being friends.”
“Never!” Olivia said with fervour, lifting her chin.
“Sure. You’re grown-ups. You have to try.” Tali’s eyes, round and pleading were on Olivia’s stricken face.
“Tali, dear,” Grace tried ineffectually to stop the child’s guileless comments.
“Stay here. I’ll go get him.” Tali’s voice was oddly determined. She seemed very mature for her age.
Olivia stepped in front of her. “No, thank you, Tali.”
“It’s no trouble,” Tali told her sweetly.
“I’m sorry, Tali, but I prefer not to see your father at the moment.” Ever again was silent but understood.
“You know Dad doesn’t hate you,” Tali pleaded.
“What must you think of me, Livvy.” Grace was literally wringing her hands. “I’m so ashamed. I should have warned you.” The admission set off another crying spell.
“Grace, please.” Olivia sought to calm her. She couldn’t blame Grace for not owning up. Grace had had her instructions.
“Poor old Gracie!” Tali tried to get a comforting arm around Grace’s stoutness. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Daddy will be here soon.”
“Dad’s here now,” a vibrant male voice called from somewhere outside on the terrace. “Tali, get out here,” the voice ordered crisply. “What do you mean by running away?”
“Jus’ dropping in on Gracie,” the child raised her voice, making no attempt to move.
“Next time you tell me.”
Jason stepped out of his dusty work boots, leaving them on the terrace. “You spoil her, Grace.” Head bent he came through the front door. “Every time I’m working near the house Tali makes a bee-line—”
He looked up, saw Olivia. His shock was so powerful his voice cracked on the last word. Wave after wave of heat broke over him, sizzling like he’d touched a live wire. “Liv!” The fists of his hands clenched so tightly the knuckles showed white.
Grace already on tenterhooks interpreted this as a good time to disappear. She acted quickly, getting a firm grip on Tali’s hand and bearing her off to the kitchen mumbling something about a chocolate sundae.
By sheer force of will Olivia remained where she was. Her impulse was to run, to do anything but stand there and confront the man who had betrayed her. She put a hand to the banister of the staircase to steady herself. Jason couldn’t hurt her anymore. She wouldn’t let him. So why were tears stinging her eyes? She opened her mouth, but her throat was so constricted words wouldn’t come. At the sight of him all the feelings she had for so long been suppressing sprang into full bloom.
Oh God, no! she prayed silently. There had to be something seriously wrong with her. She managed a curt nod, unaware her turbulent emotions were flashing out of her eyes. More than six years had passed yet all the old memories beat in on her; the humiliation, the anger, the never ending heart break, the physical longing for him despite his betrayal. It all came back as vividly alive as yesterday.
“We weren’t expecting you until late this afternoon.” Jason’s voice cut into the suffocating silence.
Olivia swallowed hard on the rush of anger. It was crucial to retain control. “I never expected to see you, either,” she said coldly. “What are you doing here, Jason?”
Finally she had to know. “I work here, Liv,” he said, making an involuntary move towards her. It was so miraculous to have her standing there in front of him, looking like something out of a dream, for a moment he thought he’d do something really stupid like attempt to embrace her or worse blurt out he still wanted her. That would go over well. He had never seen a woman look so icy in his life.
“Stay there. Don’t come near me,” she warned him sharply, visibly recoiling.
“I’m sorry.” He halted a few feet away, enveloped by self-contempt. “I didn’t mean to alarm you. Liv. We have to talk.”
She made herself laugh, a sound totally without humour. “I have nothing whatever to say to you, Jason. I want you to go away.” There was a perverse pleasure in seeing the angles of his face tighten. He looked older, tougher, harder, handsomer. The worst part of it was that he looked like a man who was used to authority.
“I’ll be glad to go, Olivia,” he clipped off. “After you give me a few minutes of your time. I need to explain a few things Harry didn’t get around to telling you.”
“Like what?” She didn’t want to look at him, neither could she look away. He wore work clothes supporting the claim he had a job on Havilah. A navy T-shirt hugged his wide shoulders and muscular chest, his jeans slung low on his lean hips, tightly fitting his long legs. It was simple gear but it fit his body to perfection. He had taken off his work shoes before coming into the house, standing well over six feet in his dusty socks. The whole effect was a stunning, entirely natural sexuality.
Olivia felt her forehead bead with heat. A rage of self-disgust was coursing through her, making her feel less of a person. Instead of responding to his so obvious manly attractions she should be remembering the great wrong he had done her. Where was her pride? She knew she wouldn’t be well-prepared for this difficult encounter but she had expected more of herself.
“I knew you were at Havilah when Harry died,” she said, not bothering to hide her hostility. “I know you found him. I want to see him to say goodbye.”
“Of course. I can take you,” Jason offered quietly. “His body is at the funeral home.”
“Aronson’s?” She felt the tears well into her eyes; blinked them back.
“Yes.” He knew exactly how grief-stricken she felt.
“I can find it.” She rejected his offer out of hand. “I don’t need you, Jason. It’s much too late to play at being friends. I’m tired, it was a long trip. What is it you have to say? I doubt it will interest me much. So you work here? I don’t know how Harry allowed it. I can’t forgive you at all.”
“Can we go into the library?” he suggested. “Voices travel down the hallway.”
She could tell from his concentrated frown he thought the child might hear. She relented on that account only, leading the way into the drawing room as beautiful and gracious as ever. Olivia turned to him—she had no choice—feeling a throbbing pressure in her right temple. She even tapped a finger to it. “You’ve only got a minute, Jason, then I want you off Havilah. How did your wife ever consent to your coming back here? I thought you were managing a station Outback?”
Jason was doing his best to repress his own turbulent feelings. As a girl Olivia had been lovely. As a woman she was blindingly beautiful. Every single feature of her face had gained definition. He wished he could tell her how beautiful she’d become but of course he couldn’t. “My mother died, Olivia,” he explained. “That was just over two years ago. I cam home to be with her in the final stages.”
“I’m sorry.” Olivia bowed her head, unhappy she couldn’t offer the sympathy that deserved. “I liked your mother. I had no argument with her or she with me. And after she died, why didn’t you return Outback?”
“Because Harry offered me a job,” Jason shot back. “We met by accident one day. I talked, Harry listened. He always was a good listener and a very fair minded man. I’ve been managing Havilah and Harry’s other business interests for the past two years.”
That piece of news would have shattered her had she not been shattered already. “And he never said a word.” The thought upset her tremendously.
“Harry didn’t want to lie or pretend.” Jason’s eyes burned over her. She was wearing a silk shirt and matching skirt in the colour of the jacarandas. The lavender sheen seemed to be reflected in her eyes. “Harry knew what your reaction would be,” he added quietly.
Olivia couldn’t bear to be so close to him. She turned on her heel, walking away to an open French door staring sightlessly out onto the garden.
“I thought Harry loved me.” There was deep anguish in her tone.
“You were everything in the world to him.” Jason protested, putting his heart and his soul into that. He couldn’t bear to see her looking so betrayed.
Almost violently Olivia shook her head. “He let you back into his life,” she pointed out in a withering voice.
There was pain in Jason’s eyes. “Harry forgave me, Olivia. He knew what my life was like after I lost you.”
She spun about, her eyes sparkling like jewels. “Oh, that’s good!” she bitterly scoffed. “You married someone else, Jason. Remember? You have a daughter by her. I expect other children?”
“Just Tali,” he said, his expression turning withdrawn.
“Harry shouldn’t have done it.” Once again she tasted the gall of betrayal. In the end didn’t men stick together? Harry had always had a deep affection for the fatherless Jason.
“Well he did,” Jason confirmed flatly. “It wasn’t just kindness, though Harry was kindness itself. Harry had reached a stage in life when he badly needed help. He knew I could handle the job. I’ve become deeply involved in all Linfield operations, Liv. I doubt you could find someone better, or someone who has worked harder.”
“You can bet your life I’ll try!” Olivia retorted. “You must have known one day you would have to go?” She was unable to keep the note of triumph from her voice.
He nodded, throwing up his dark fire head. “Sure, and I’m prepared to go, Olivia. I can’t imagine anything worse than sticking around to take flack from you. I worked for Harry. Trying to work for you would make a big difference. Back then Harry needed someone he trusted to run his affairs. I always had a good business brain and we were able to turn my progressive ideas into winners. I’ve changed a lot of things for the better around here—Harry appreciated that. I’ll always be grateful to him because he gave me a second chance. It wasn’t always easy for him. He didn’t enjoy not being straight with you but he was keenly aware of your feelings. The overriding factor was he’d reached a stage in life when he needed help. My help as it turned out.”
“Help that won’t be needed from now on.”
“I wonder how long it’s going to take you to realize you’re not in any position to take over?” Jason unleashed a taunt.
“You won’t be around to find out.” Olivia shook her long hair. It had grown back over the last six years. “Where are you living?” she demanded as though he had somehow found his way into the house.
Jason shook his head. “Not here, if that’s what you’re on about. Mum left the family home to me. That’s where Tali and I live.”
“And Renata?” Her proud aloof expression softened slightly.
“She’s still at her own place. She does a lot of child minding.”
“Megan too busy to look after her little daughter?” Immediately after she said it Olivia was furious for mentioning Megan’s name.
“Megan’s gone, Olivia,” he shocked her by saying.
“Gone?” That was the last thing she expected to hear. “Gone where?”
Jason realized he’d been holding his breath, waiting for this question to come. “Our marriage didn’t work out, Liv. I never loved Megan. I couldn’t make myself love her though I tried to make our marriage work. The thing is, no-one can love to order. In the end Megan became so bitter and angry she left.”
“Just like that?” Olivia’s mouth curved in disbelief. “Simplicity itself leaving a man who doesn’t love you. But your child? How did she do it or did you refuse to let her have custody of Tali? I can see you doing that?”
“She didn’t want Tali,” Jason informed her bluntly. “Tali was cargo she didn’t need to carry. Megan wasn’t a good mother I’m afraid. She didn’t bond with Tali right from the beginning, totally lacked the maternal streak you women are supposed to have. She had some dark places in her soul, poor Megan.”
Olivia stared at him openly, too shocked to register anything but her disbelief. “So where is she now?”
Jason shrugged. “The last I heard she was living with some guy in the Territory.”
“Well, gee, Jason, you made a mistake.” Olivia assumed a laconic drawl, allowed herself to give vent to her emotions. “It’s Tali I feel sorry for. She must have feelings of grief and abandonment?”
Jason’s chiselled jawline tightened. “I think Tali had a pretty rough time with Megan when I wasn’t around.”
Olivia blinked. “Can you clarify that?” she asked sharply. The Megan she remembered had always appeared quiet and docile.
“I don’t want to go into this, Olivia.” Jason’s tone was curt. “Megan didn’t have an easy childhood. Some of it brushed off on her. I mightn’t have been able to love her but I always tried to do the right thing by her. In the end I was glad she took off because I was worried eventually she might hurt Tali.”
“And when did she take off as you put it?”
“Megan left when Tali was almost four,” Jason answered, openly on edge.
“She doesn’t look like you,” Olivia stunned herself by saying. “She doesn’t look like Megan, either, although there is something familiar about her.”
“I thought she had my eyes.” He shrugged.
She glanced away before she burst into tears. “Only in the sense they’re blue. I wish I could say I’m sorry for the mess you’ve made of your life, Jason, but I’m not such a hypocrite.”
“Once you didn’t lack for compassion,” he said, trapping her gaze. “It wasn’t in your nature to be mean.”
“I didn’t say I’m proud of myself,” she retorted, colour springing to her cheeks. “You got enough of that from Harry anyway, don’t expect it from me. After the funeral, Jason, I don’t want to see you again.”
CHAPTER FOUR
AS BEFITTING a man of Harry Linfield’s standing, patriarch of the community, his funeral was widely attended. Olivia knew the church was going to be packed. She was right. Mourners crowded into the cool, hushed interior, greeting each other in low, saddened voices. Many more people saw, as they approached the open church door, there was no room for them in the press of congregation. They would have to stand outside in the blazing sun or quickly seek the shade of the giant magnolia that stood in the church grounds.
Everyone was given a service sheet. Olivia as Harry’s nearest and dearest, sat up front with members of the extended family who had flown from all over to attend Harry’s funeral. Olivia had received countless subdued smiles and nods of recognition from the moment she had stepped out of her funeral house limousine right up until she took her seat in the front pew. Most of the mourners had been invited back to the house. She saw Jason on the other side of the church, in his formal dark clothes which together with the sombre expression on his chiselled face only added to his heartbreaking handsomeness.
She looked through him. His familiarity, the intimacy they had once shared a fierce torture. They would have been married from this church.
Don’t think about it. Think of Harry.
There were flowers everywhere. She had ordered reams of them despite the heat. Harry had loved flowers. There were great sprays of arum lilies, November lilies, roses, carnations, orchids and clouds of gypsophilia. Her huge bouquet of white November lilies had been placed on Harry’s casket. They all rose to their feet as the vicar, tall, silver haired, black and white robed, moved to a position just to the right of the coffin. He began to speak. The sort of words one always hears at funerals. Life, death, resurrection. The organ began to play. They all consulted their service sheets to join in the hymn. Perhaps there were too many flowers. They looked wonderful, softening the cruelty of death, but the perfume was clogging her nostrils making it hard for her to breathe. She began to pray for Harry; for her parents long dead. Harry had been far more than a guardian. He had been the closest person in the world to her. Outside Jason. It was impossible to leave out her traitorous lover.
“Are you all right, Livvy?” An elderly cousin bent solicitously towards her, placing a hand over Olivia’s.
She made a huge effort to respond. “Yes, thank you,” she whispered.
She made herself focus on her breathing. In and out. In and out. Deep and slow. Surely she wouldn’t be able to read the short poem she had picked out for the service? She was amazed now she had agreed to get up and speak. She was far too upset. She would read the poem quietly over his grave. Harry had been of a generation that read poetry constantly and loved it. She loved poetry herself. Poets had a way of expressing everything that needed to be said in the shortest possible time.
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