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The words shot out of him like nails from a nail gun, startling him with their ferocity, but he refused to moderate his glare. If she’d so much as harmed one hair on Mel’s head, he’d make sure she regretted it for the rest of her life.
‘Did you hear this from Melanie?’
‘Gordon Sears,’ he growled.
Jaz’s lips twisted at whatever she saw in his face. Lush, full lips. Lips he—
No. He would not fall under her spell again. He wouldn’t expose Mel to another woman who’d run at the first hint of trouble.
‘Still jumping to conclusions, Connor?’
Her words punched the air out of his body.
‘What on earth do you think I’ve been doing with her?’ She planted her hands on her hips—a mirror image of him—and matched his glare. ‘What kind of nasty notions have been running through your mind?’
Nothing specific, he realised. But he remembered the gaping hole Jaz had left in his life when she’d fled Clara Falls eight years ago. He wouldn’t let her hurt Mel like that.
‘One more day,’ she whispered. ‘That’s all I needed with her—one more day.’ She said the words almost to herself, as if she’d forgotten he was even there.
‘One more day to do what?’ he exploded.
She folded her arms, but he saw that her hands shook. ‘You haven’t changed much at all, have you, Connor? It seems you’re still more than willing to believe the worst of me.’
Bile burned his throat.
‘I needed one more day to convince her to confide in you, that’s what.’
To confide in him… Her words left him floundering. ‘To confide what?’
‘If you spent a little more time with your daughter, then perhaps you’d know!’
‘If I…’ His shoulders grew so tight they hurt. ‘What do you know about bringing a child up on your own?’ About how hard it was. About how the doubts crowded in, making him wonder if he was doing a good job or making a hash of things. About how he’d always be a dad and never a mum and that, no matter how nurturing and gentle he tried to be, he knew it wasn’t the same.
‘I…nothing.’ Jaz took a step back. ‘I’m sorry.’
The sadness that stretched across her face had his anger draining away, against his will and against his better judgement. She turned away as if to hide her sadness from him.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s been going on?’ To his relief, his voice had returned to normal.
She started gathering up her pencils and placing them back in their box. ‘I don’t suppose you’d trust me for just one more day?’
‘No, I wouldn’t.’ He tried to make the words gentle. He had to bite back an oath when she flinched. ‘I won’t take any risks where Mel’s concerned. I can’t.’
She smiled then and he saw the same concern she’d shown for Gwen last night reflected in her eyes now. His chest started to burn as if he’d run a marathon. If Jaz had gleaned even the tiniest piece of information that would help him with Mel…Mel, who’d gone from laughing and bright-eyed to sober and withdrawn in what seemed to him a twinkling of an eye.
Mel, who’d once chattered away to him about everything and nothing, and who these days would only shake her head when he asked her if anything was wrong.
‘Mel has been coming to the bookshop after school instead of Mrs Benedict’s.’
‘Do you know why?’
‘I…yes, I do.’ She hesitated. ‘May I ask you a question first?’
His hand clenched. He wanted his bright, bubbly daughter back—the girl whose smile would practically split her face in two whenever she saw him. He’d do anything to achieve that, pay any price. Even if that meant answering Jaz’s questions first. He gave a short, hard nod.
‘Why is Melly going to Mrs Benedict’s after school? Please don’t get angry again, but…if you start work at seven-thirty most mornings, surely you should be able to knock off in time to collect Melly from school at three-thirty? Obviously I don’t know your personal situation, but it looks as if you’re doing well financially. Do you really need to work such long hours?’
No, he didn’t.
She frowned. ‘And who looks after Melly in the mornings before school?’
‘The school provides a care service, before and after school.’
She didn’t ask, but he could see the question in her eyes—why didn’t he use that service instead of sending Mel to Mrs Benedict’s?
‘You don’t want to tell me, do you?’
What the hell…? That mixture of sadness and understanding in her voice tugged at him. It wouldn’t hurt to tell her. It might even go some way to making amends for bursting in here and all but accusing her of hurting Mel.
He raked a hand back through his hair. ‘We had a huge storm on this side of the mountain two and a half months ago. It did a lot of damage—roofs blown off, trees down on houses, that kind of thing. The state emergency services were run off their feet and we jumped in to help. We’re still getting through that work now. At the time it seemed important to secure people’s homes against further damage, to make them safe again…liveable. But it did and does mean working long hours.’ He hated to see people homeless, especially families with small children.
‘And you feel responsible for making things right?’
He didn’t know if that was a statement or a question. He shrugged. ‘I just want to do my bit to help.’
‘Yes, but don’t you think you need to draw the line somewhere? There are more important things in life than work, you know.’
A scowl built up inside him. Did she think work counted two hoots when it came to Mel? Mel was his life.
Jaz thrust her chin out. ‘You worked on my sign last Saturday instead of taking Melanie on the skyway. You broke a date with your daughter to work on my stupid sign.’
‘You didn’t think that sign so unimportant at the time!’
Guilt inched through him. He had cancelled that outing with Mel, but he’d promised to take her to the skyway the next day instead. She’d seemed happy enough with that, as happy as she seemed with anything these days. Except…
He frowned. When Sunday had rolled around Mel had said she didn’t want to go anywhere. She’d spent the day colouring in on the living room floor instead.
He should’ve taken her on the Saturday—he should’ve kept his promise—but when he’d found out Jaz was expected to arrive in Clara Falls that day, he hadn’t been able to stay away. At the time he’d told himself it was to get their initial meeting out of the way, and any associated unpleasantness. As he stared down into Jaz’s face now, though, he wondered if he’d lied.
He pulled his mind back. ‘It’s not just the work. Mel needs a woman in her life. She’s—’
He broke off to drag a hand down his face. ‘I see the way she watches the girls at school with their mothers.’ It broke his heart that he couldn’t fill that gap for her. ‘She hungers for that…maternal touch.’
Jaz frowned. Then her face suddenly cleared. ‘That’s what Mrs Benedict’s about. She’s your maternal touch!’
He nodded. ‘She came highly recommended. She’s raised five children of her own. She’s a big, buxom lady with a booming laugh. A sort of…earth mother figure.’
‘I see.’
‘I thought that, between her and my mother, they might help fill that need in Mel.’
Scepticism rippled across Jaz’s face before she could school it. ‘What?’ he demanded. From memory, Jaz had never liked his mother.
‘Melanie doesn’t like going to Mrs Benedict’s.’
‘She hasn’t said anything to me!’
Jaz twisted her hands together again. ‘Apparently Mrs Benedict has been smacking her.’
CHAPTER FIVE (#u3ea32e4f-9241-5191-9031-c7ad61a0b4dd)
‘SHE’S what?’ Connor reached out and gripped Jaz’s shoulders. ‘Did you say smacking her? Are you telling me Mrs Benedict is hitting my daughter?’
‘You’re hurting me, Connor.’
He released her immediately. And started to pace.
‘Relax, Connor, Melly is—’
‘Relax? Relax!’ How the hell could she say that when—
‘Melanie is safe. That’s all that matters, right? You can tackle Mrs Benedict tomorrow. Flying off the handle now won’t solve anything.’
She had a point. He dragged in a breath. But when he got hold of Mrs Benedict he’d—
‘Working out what’s best for Melanie is what’s important now, isn’t it?’
‘She’s not going back to that woman’s place!’
‘Good.’
He dragged in another breath. ‘So that’s why she’s been coming here?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you’ve been walking her to Mrs Benedict’s front gate each afternoon?’
‘Yes.’
‘And trying to talk her into confiding in me?’
‘Yes.’
He ground his teeth together. ‘Thank you.’
‘It was nothing.’
She tried to shrug his words off, but her eyes were wide and blue. It wasn’t nothing and they both knew it.
He unclenched his jaw. ‘Do you have any idea why Mel didn’t want to confide in me?’
Jaz hesitated again. ‘I…’
She did! She knew more about what was going through his daughter’s head than he did.
She eyed him warily. ‘Will you promise not to shout any more?’
Did she think he’d lash out at her in his anger? He recalled the way he’d stormed in here, and dragged a hand down his face. ‘I’ll do my best,’ he ground out.
‘It seems that because you’re working so hard, your mother is concerned about your…welfare.’
He frowned. ‘I don’t get what you’re driving at.’
She moistened her lips. He tried to ignore their shine, their fullness…and the hunger that suddenly seized him.
‘It seems your mother has been lecturing Melly not to bother you with her troubles when you’re so obviously busy with work.’
He gaped at her. No! He snapped his jaw shut. ‘You never did like my mother, did you?’
‘No, Connor, that’s not true, but she never liked me. And in hindsight I can’t really blame her. She could hardly have been thrilled that the rebellious Goth girl was going out with her son now, could she?’
His mother had always been…overprotective.
‘Look, I’m not making this up.’
He didn’t want to believe her…but he did.
She grimaced. ‘And, for what it’s worth, I think your mother is well-intentioned. She is your mother, after all. It’s natural for her to have your best interests at heart.’
‘She should have Mel’s best interests at heart.’ He collapsed onto one of the leatherette cubes. Mel needed a woman in her life, but the two he’d chosen had let her down badly.
And so she’d latched onto Jaz?
What a mess.
This wasn’t his mother’s fault. It wasn’t even Mrs Benedict’s fault, though he’d still have some choice words for her when he saw her tomorrow. This was his fault. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it before and he didn’t want to acknowledge it now, but Mel needed a younger woman in her life. Not two women who were at least fifty years older than her.
But Jaz?
‘Don’t look like that,’ Jaz chided. ‘This isn’t the end of the world. So you knock off from here in time to collect Melly from school for the rest of the week. That’s no big deal.’
‘It’ll put work on the flat back by a day.’
She shrugged again. ‘Like I said—no big deal.’
‘She didn’t confide in me!’ The words burst from him, but he couldn’t hold them back. Mel had refused to confide in him, but she’d confided in Jaz?
Jaz!
