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Stick Dog Chases a Pizza
Tom Watson
Stick Dog and his furry friends are BACK! In this third hilarious adventure, Stick Dog and his pals are out for a pizza! A must-have for fans of WIMPY KID and BIG NATE.Stick Dog and his friends, Mutt, Stripes, Karen and Poo-Poo are back in another adventure! Everyone’s favourite cartoon canines are hungry again – and this time it’s pizza that has their mouths watering. But when it’s pizza on the go… can they chase it down?Funny, furry and loveable, this four-legged hero is destined to be Top Dog.More STICK DOG adventures coming soon.
For Jacob(Y LIP TOM B NIT)
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cover (#u2a9d0581-3e97-5b8d-aa15-a0a735839250)
Title Page (#ubc68c69e-8e5d-5ef9-9dad-71df7ae67f29)
Dedication (#uf65788d1-fd1b-5725-a43f-69b0625392e5)
Chapter 1: A New Olympic Event
Chapter 2: Maths by Mutt
Chapter 3: The Frisbee Search
Chapter 4: An Unexpected Discovery
Chapter 5: Dandy Dachshund
Chapter 6: The Ultra-Missimo-Pizza-Snatch-o-Meter
Chapter 7: Rescue Mission
Chapter 8: A Triangular-Shaped Castle
Chapter 9: Soul Mates
Chapter 10: A Really Strong Ant
Chapter 11: Trip-a-Doos
Chapter 12: Frisbee Time
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
Chapter 1 (#ubfa40586-f090-599c-ac0c-d3fb022f1815)
A NEW OLYMPIC EVENT
Like many stories, this one starts with a search for something that ends up becoming a search for something else.
And it all begins like this:
Karen was chasing her tail.
Karen is the dachshund, as you no doubt remember. She loves to chase her tail. And Stick Dog, Mutt, Poo-Poo, and Stripes were all sitting around watching Karen chase her tail. This is always good for some laughs.
You remember them all, right? Stripes is a Dalmatian. The poodle is named Poo-Poo. And Mutt is, you know, a mutt.
And Stick Dog, of course, is our main character. My English teacher says I should call him the “protagonist” in my story because it sounds more professional and serious.
So, umm, he’s our main character – and he got his name because I can’t draw very well.
You know they’re always looking for food. And you probably remember that the previous two books were all about the five dogs trying to get hamburgers and hot dogs, right?
Most important, do you know about our agreement? The one between you (the reader) and me (the writer and not-so-good illustrator)?
What’s that? You forget our agreement?
Typical.
Okay, Mister or Missus Forgets-Everything-All-the-Time, I’ll remind you. Our agreement is this:
I promise to do my best to tell you an engaging (hopefully funny) adventure story about Stick Dog and his four goofball friends. And you promise to not give me any trouble if my drawings aren’t so good or if the story goes off in other directions now and then.
We have a deal then? Okay, let’s get back to Karen chasing her tail. Do you think she’ll catch it? I’ll give you a hint.
Ready?
She doesn’t.
It was especially funny to the other dogs when Karen got tired and laid her head down, curled her body up, and closed her eyes to rest for a minute. Then when she opened them, that tail was right there in front of her – just barely out of reach.
Oh, she had to have it. This time she’d get it for sure. And she lifted her chin off the ground and used her mighty four-inch dachshund legs to pounce after her own tail. And when she did, her body straightened out and – of course – her tail got out of reach again. And she started spinning around some more.
“Come on, Karen,” Mutt said. “A little faster. Just a little faster!”
“Yeah,” Stripes said, trying to suppress her laughter. “You’re almost there. Stretch out a little more. Just a little more.”
“You almost got it last time,” said Poo-Poo, his fur-covered belly panting in and out.
Stick Dog watched the scene with quiet bemusement. Oh, he enjoyed the fruitless efforts of Karen’s tail chasing just like anybody would. But he also took great pleasure in watching Stripes, Poo-Poo, and Mutt as they watched Karen. This happens often with Stick Dog. He likes to watch his friends as they laugh because it makes him feel good.
Of course, Karen could only chase her tail for so long. Eventually, she had to stop. And when she did, this story really gets started.
“I have to stop,” Karen panted, plopping down again on her belly with her chin on the ground.
“Too bad,” said Stripes. “I really thought you were going to get it that time.”
“Me too,” said Mutt. He tried to hide a grin. “I mean, you seem to get closer and closer every day. Have you been working out?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, it sure looks like it,” Poo-Poo added. “Your speed has really improved, and I think you’re bending and twisting better than ever before.”
“You really think so?”
“Oh, yeah,” Stripes confirmed. “It’s totally true. If there is ever an Olympic event for chasing your tail and not catching it, you’ll be a gold medallist!”
“That’s so nice of you to say,” Karen said, and began to push herself up from the ground. She smiled and nodded a bit as she regained some strength from this encouragement. “Thanks so much.”
“Wouldn’t you agree, Stick Dog?” Stripes asked. “Wouldn’t you agree that if there was an Olympic event for chasing your tail but not catching it, then Karen would win a gold medal?”
Now, Stick Dog knew the other dogs were making fun of Karen. And, to be honest, Stick Dog was getting a kick out of the whole business. But he also knew when having fun was getting close to teasing. And Stick Dog didn’t like teasing. So instead of answering, he turned to Karen and asked, “What would you like to do now?”
Stick Dog knew exactly what Karen was going to say.
Chapter 2 (#ubfa40586-f090-599c-ac0c-d3fb022f1815)
MATHS BY MUTT
Karen didn’t hesitate. There was only one thing she liked more than chasing her tail. “Frisbee!” she yelped. “Frisbee. Frisbee! FRISBEE!!”
“Excellent idea,” said Stick Dog. “Let’s play Frisbee. And what are we going to need to do that?”
The other four dogs just looked at Stick Dog with blank expressions.
“What are we going to need?” he repeated.
Suddenly Mutt spoke up. “I know what we need! Our mouths! To catch the Frisbee with!”
“Well, that’s true enough,” said Stick Dog. “We definitely need our mouths. But I was thinking of something else. What is it that we catch with our mouths?”
This time Poo-Poo answered really fast. He was so certain of the answer that he wanted to beat everyone in saying it. “I got it! Our tongues,” he said quickly and proudly. And as if to prove his point, Poo-Poo opened his mouth and let his tongue drop out and began wagging it around. He snapped his mouth shut on it a couple of times by accident. You could tell it hurt, but he tried to not let it show.
Stick Dog didn’t say anything for a moment. “I guess you do sort of need your tongue a little to play Frisbee.”
“See, see, see? I told you!” Poo-Poo said. His tongue flapped up and down and slapped his own face as he nodded with tremendous enthusiasm and vigour. “It’s not easy being right all the time, let me tell you.”
“Mm-hmm. I’m sure that’s true,” replied Stick Dog. “Now, who can tell me the most important thing we need to play Frisbee? Besides our mouths and tongues, I mean.”
Mutt, Karen, Poo-Poo, and Stripes all turned their heads towards Stick Dog. Nobody said anything at all.
Stick Dog answered his own question. “We need a Frisbee.”
As soon as he said it, his four friends all started nodding their heads up and down like crazy.
“Didn’t I say that?” asked Mutt. “I’m pretty sure I did.”
“It’s so obvious,” said Poo-Poo, “that I didn’t think it was worth saying.”
“I was going to say that,” added Karen, “but Poo-Poo interrupted me.”
Stripes said, “I was about to answer that exact thing. But the sun got in my eyes.”
Stick Dog looked up at the sky. It was getting near dusk. The sun would be setting soon. He glanced at Stripes and shook his head. “Why would the sun getting …” he began to ask, but then stopped himself. He didn’t finish his question. “Well, I figured you all knew the answer. Let’s find a Frisbee.”
“That’s easy,” said Stripes. “You and Mutt were playing with one just a couple of days ago, Stick Dog. Don’t you remember? It’s orange. We found it by the basketball courts at Picasso Park. It’s probably in the pipe by your sleeping cushion. I’ll go get it.”
“I don’t think so,” said Stick Dog.
“Why not?” asked Mutt.
“Think back,” said Stick Dog, “to when you and I were playing Frisbee, Mutt. Do you remember what happened to it?”
“Oh, Stick Dog,” said Mutt. “I can’t remember that far back.”
“But it was just the day before yesterday,” said Stick Dog.
“That’s what I mean,” Mutt said. “That’s a couple of weeks in human years.”
This, frankly, caught Stick Dog by surprise. He asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, dogs typically live about one-seventh as long as humans. So one dog day equals seven human days. The day before yesterday was two days ago to us – that equals fourteen human days. I can’t remember that long ago,” Mutt explained. “I always measure time that way. It’s easier.”
Stick Dog shook his head for a second and then asked, “It’s easier for you to take a period of time, multiply it by seven, then pretend and think like a human to understand that period of time?”
“Yes, yes indeed,” answered Mutt matter-of-factly. “And that is why I obviously cannot remember what happened the day before yesterday. It’s the equivalent of fourteen human days. That’s quite a way back.”
“No, it’s not a way back at all,” said Stick Dog. He scrunched up his face and tried to understand what Mutt was saying. “It was the day before yesterday.”
Mutt began to talk very slowly, hoping it would help Stick Dog understand. “It only … seems … like the day … before yesterday. It was really … two weeks ago.”
“But that’s only if you’re measuring things in human-to-dog time,” said Stick Dog.
Mutt nodded his head. “That’s correct. I’m glad you finally understand.” He was pretty sure talking slowly had really helped.
“But you’re not a human,” sighed Stick Dog. “You’re a dog.”
“Exactly.”
Stick Dog stood there in front of Mutt for a minute. He shook his head a final time and turned to Poo-Poo, Stripes, and Karen. “Do any of you understand this?” he asked.
“We weren’t listening,” they all answered in unison. To explain further, Karen added, “There was a really cool-looking beetle on the ground over here. It had a red stripe running down its back. We were checking it out. According to Stripes, it doesn’t taste very good though.”
Stripes coughed a little bit.
Stick Dog turned back to Mutt. “Well, I remember what happened to the Frisbee the day before yesterday.”
Mutt shook his head a little. “You mean two weeks ago. Do you want me to explain it again?”
