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Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t hear you getting all excited about how she backed up your story.”
“Because I’m not stupid. If she had, we wouldn’t be here now. We’d still be married.” He shook his head. “Actually, we probably wouldn’t. Some other shadow would have frightened you away.”
“You’re right about one thing. She didn’t corroborate your story.”
He snorted. “So, you’d believe a drunk woman without a last name before you’d believe me.”
“All she told me was that she couldn’t remember anything about that night. By the time I tracked her down she was in rehab.”
“Great. Just great,” he said. “That father of yours sure did a number on you.”
“Don’t you blame my father. He had nothing to do with this. The only mistake I made was in marrying a man just like him.” She pulled the covers up so her breasts were no longer exposed.
He rolled to his back, putting distance between them. She felt cold without his arms around her. “The mistake you made was not believing you hadn’t. It all comes down to trust.”
“You hurt me.”
“You hurt me, too.” He’d never said those words to her before and as she turned to him, she saw that it was true. Whatever he’d done, at least he felt the loss of their marriage. She supposed that was something.
“Some days I wish I’d never met you.”
“I should have made you go to marriage counseling with me,” he said at the same moment.
“There was no point,” she insisted.
He jabbed a finger toward the living room. “Do you think there’s a perfect man in that computer storehouse out there? Some guy who won’t ever come home late or go on business trips with attractive women? What are you going to do? Spend your life savings on private dicks and all your energy on suspicion?”
“No. No, I’m not. I believe there’s a nice man out there who can be faithful.”
“Do you?”
“Mmm-hmm. I won’t set my sights so high this time.”
He rolled over and got back up on his elbow so he could stare down into her face. “Come again?”
“I’ve done a lot of reading since we broke up. There are theories about what makes a successful relationship and one of them is that you should match up with people who are similar status to you.” She shrugged. “So, really good-looking people should stick together and more homely people should go with homely ones. I was always so flattered when you took an interest in me, but I think in the end you’re too good-looking. Too successful.”
He blinked at her, his face darkening with anger. “That is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard,” he argued, pulling himself up to sitting. “Setting aside the fact that I think you’re beautiful, what does that say about me? In ten years, when you start to age, do I turn you in for a younger model? What about love? What about the old-fashioned idea of sticking together through thick and thin? Better and worse and all that?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know, either.” He rolled out of bed, unconcerned that he was naked. Even though she was angry and confused she couldn’t help but drink in her fill of that tall, buff body and wish things could have turned out differently.
He pulled on his clothes swiftly and efficiently and then walked over to where she sat in bed, watching him.
“Is this really about me being unfaithful or is it about you being insecure?”
“I’m not insecure, I’m realistic.”
He made a dismissive sound. “Tell that to your mirror.”
“I—”
“I didn’t fall in love with a status symbol. I never thought you did, either. I think you’re gorgeous, and successful. I like your curves. Did it ever occur to you that I wasn’t the one who betrayed our marriage?”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. You can’t make this my fault.”
“I can’t make you see reason.” She thought he’d say more, then he clamped his mouth shut.
“I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. Take care of yourself.”
“You, too.”
He kissed her swiftly. Rose and as he reached the door of her bedroom turned back. “Oh, and you might want to edit that profile before you post it.”
13 (#ucb064ee0-dac0-5837-aba9-6a9e4082d1b3)
DEX WAS GORGEOUS, sexy, dangerously good in bed and completely bad for her. Forget sex with Dex. She had to start over.
So after that fiasco she renewed her online efforts. Thursday she had a lunch date with a guy named Larry who spent the entire time talking about his ex-wife and what a bitch she was. It was so depressing she had a headache when she returned to the office.
Saturday evening she had drinks with Steve who admitted over his second martini that while his profile claimed he was divorced, he wasn’t completely divorced.
“How close are you?” she asked.
Larry ran a hand through rapidly receding hair. “I can’t upset her right now, she’s moody. But as soon as I find my soul mate, I’m telling my wife right away.”
She declined to stay for dinner.
When she reviewed her latest date with Dee the young woman said, “Okay, it’s time for some advanced tips and hints.”
“I’m ready.”
“One.” The young woman twirled a blond curl around her pencil. “At your age, it’s borderline on whether a guy’s been married or not, but if they get close to forty and they’ve never been married or had a significant relationship, that’s a big red flag. Mommy issues? Can’t commit? Do some investigation before you commit to anything.”
Karen thought about Ron, the CPA who at thirty-seven had never been married. She suspected she’d already met one of those.
“Got it.”
“Two. If a guy says he’s divorced, when you e-mail him make sure—”
“Oh, I’ve got this one. First question I should be asking is how long they’ve been divorced.”
Her dating mentor nodded. “And make sure they’re living on their own.”
“Huh?”
“Catholic divorce. It’s where the wife lives on one level of the house and the ex lives on the other. With this bad economy, lots of couples are doing it, but I wouldn’t go there.”
“Right. That could be complicated.”
“Kids is another issue.”
“I like kids.”
“I know you do. That’s my point. If you’re going to have kids, no offense, you don’t have a lot of time to waste, so if a guy doesn’t have any, you want to find out pretty soon if he’s open to kids. And if he has some, find out if he sees them a lot. Best way to discover if a guy is going to be a good father is to see if he already is one.”
“Wow. This is more like landing a great job than finding eternal love.”
“Love won’t last if you don’t share basic goals and values,” Dee informed her.
She was filled with affection for her assistant. “So young and so wise.”
By paying more attention to the details in a profile she did manage to avoid a couple more disasters and no one jumped out at her as the potential father of the kids she’d better have quick according to Dee, before she ended up barren as well as alone.
The following Wednesday, against her better judgment, she went to the movies with Ron. Who probably had mommy issues, possibly also commitment phobia. But he was a nice man and she didn’t really like her own company right now. Afterward, they stopped at a coffee shop and found, as they had before, that if they talked about their businesses, they got on fine. But on the personal front, they didn’t have much in common.
“Is this how most of your dates go?” she finally asked him.
He shook his head. “No. Most are much, much worse.”
To her surprise she burst out laughing. “So you’re saying this is bad?”
He immediately tried to reassure her that they weren’t bad. He liked her a great deal and it was refreshing to be able to spend time with someone who enjoyed discussing business.
She reached out and touched his hand, which was cool and dry. “But there’s no spark, is there?”
The gray eyes she liked so much lifted to hers. “No.”
She sipped her coffee, thinking she’d miss this quiet, unassuming man who was so easy to talk to and who she’d never imagine getting caught with a half dressed woman on his arm. “I’ll miss you.”
“I hope we can still see each other. This can be a lonely city when you’re not part of a couple. I’d like for us to stay friends.” He shifted the sugar until it was exactly in line with the napkins. “At least until one of us starts seeing someone seriously.”
She was oddly flattered. “I don’t have many male friends. I’d like that.”
When they parted he kissed her cheek and she went home alone. Even though she’d changed the sheets after Dex left her, and that had been almost a week ago, she still couldn’t seem to get the elusive scent of him out of her bed. She knew it was only her memory playing tricks on her, but oh, it had been a mistake to let him into her bed again.
She’d gone out and bought all new furniture after they split up and the first item she’d purchased had been that bed because she never wanted to sleep alone in the place they’d once shared so much.
Now he’d come and polluted her bed with his presence, and the room was thick with the memories of their night together, the passion, the heat, the searing intimacy.
Oh, she’d slept with a couple of men after her divorce, but not for a while now, mainly because no man had ever come close.
So she went back to planning joyous occasions for brides who didn’t know what they were letting themselves in for, giving them the magical day that would seal their doom. Then she came home to a house that had never felt empty until Dexter forever stamped his presence onto it.
Another week and one more dismal date with a guy who claimed to be a marathon runner, a millionaire investor and a philanthropist. Ten minutes in his company told her he was a compulsive liar since he was overweight, smoked, seemed to think Dow Jones was a baseball pitcher, and sneered at a sad-looking street person.
Would you like to go to dinner tonight? Ron asked her. They had fallen into the habit of e-mailing a few times a week and she enjoyed a certain quiet humor about him, plus the fact that he was pretty much who he said he was.
She was busy with meetings and a bridal show, plus she had a meeting with Sophie Vanderhooven scheduled for the next morning. Sophie had said Dex would probably be at the meeting, which meant he would probably drop by her place since they seemed to have fallen into some kind of ex-with-benefits scenario.
Of course it was a bad idea to sleep with her ex. But ice cream and chocolate bars were bad ideas, too, and she was just as addicted.
I think I’d better— She stopped herself with a start before turning down this nice, uncomplicated single man in order to sit home in case her cheating ex should decide to drop by for sex. What was she doing?
She resumed typing. I think I’d better start inviting you places since you always seem to do all the work. But yes, I’d love to.
Do you like Chinese food?
Heat washed over her. She e-mailed back. No food that involves chopsticks.
Then he mentioned a popular American eatery downtown, which could have no awkward memories attached to it. She agreed.
I’ll pick you up at seven.
Perfect. He was the kind of man who treated her like a date even though they were friends which was fine with her. It was nice not to have to drive in heels and figure out parking.
He was prompt as always, but she was ready when he arrived.
Over dinner she finally told him that she might be interested in his services and described a few accounting muddles.
He nodded. “I think I might be able to help you. What I should do is give you a couple of references of other customers so you can get a sense of my work.”
Once dinner was over he drove her correctly home. It was only ten o’clock and she got the feeling that he was in no hurry to head to his lonely house. “Would you like to come in for coffee?” She hesitated, then clarified, “And I do mean coffee.”
“Do you have decaf?”
“Of course.”
“Then I’d like to.”
Since he was more worried about caffeine than her hot bod she didn’t fret about him getting the wrong idea about her invitation. While she went into the kitchen to make the coffee, he settled himself in her living room with the day’s newspaper.
When she returned, he politely folded the paper and accepted his coffee.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“Do you really think there’s someone out there for you? A soul mate if you like?”
Ron pondered the question, the way she found he tended to ponder most inquiries. “I think it would be sad to live the rest of my life alone,” he said at last. “I have Beth, of course.”
“Beth?”
“My new golden retriever.”
“Oh.”
