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“Let’s go see just how mean that horse is.”
Ellie’s eyes grew big.
Tulley swallowed a curse word.
Colter got to his feet. “A good ride will calm him right down.”
“Have you noticed the weather?” Tulley asked. “There’s a storm coming and the temperature’s dropping fast. This is no time to be breaking a horse.”
“Getting soft?” Colter teased, but he knew he was about to do a stupid thing. It wouldn’t be the first time, he told himself, but if he could obliterate Marisa’s memory for those few minutes, it would be worth it.
COLTER HAD A RURAL ADDRESS, but it was easy to find. A couple of miles down the country road she came to a large brick entrance with a huge overhead sign in wrought-iron letters that read Circle K Ranch. She drove over the cattle guard onto a gravel road that led to a house.
Her eyes opened wide in appreciation of the scene that met her. The land was flat and a two-story brick colonial house nestled among huge oaks. Now bare, the trees stood proudly against the chilling wind, enhancing the beauty of the house with its white pillars and mullioned windows. Beyond the detached four-car garage were various barns, outbuildings and corrals, all neatly maintained. She couldn’t help thinking that even her mother would be impressed.
Parking on the circular drive, she took a steadying breath, then ran up the paved walk to the front door. The wind bit through her clothes; it had definitely grown colder. She pulled her cashmere coat tighter around her and rang the doorbell.
There was no answer, so she rang it again. Still no answer. She felt a deep sense of disappointment. It’d been difficult to make the trip at all, and now that she was here, she hated to leave without seeing him. But it seemed she had no choice. It was after four, anyway, and she needed to return to Dallas for the dinner party her father had planned.
As she left the circular drive, a movement from one of the corrals caught her eye. A small child sat perched atop a fence, and Marisa drove in that direction. She stopped some distance away, got out and ran over, hoping she might find Colter.
The child, huddled in a winter coat with the hood pulled over her head, was too engrossed in what was going on inside the corral to notice Marisa. Following the child’s gaze, she caught her breath at the sight of Colter astride a big red stallion.
The horse jumped and twisted, determined to dislodge his rider. Bending his head close to the ground, the horse struck out with his back legs, to no avail.
Marisa walked closer so she could see better. Too late, she realized her mistake. The child turned to look at her at the same time Colter did. As his concentration was diverted, the horse gave a wild kick that sent him flying against the fence.
Stunned, Marisa watched the horse run wild, his hooves threatening to trample Colter’s inert body lying in the dirt. Without thinking, she hitched her skirt high and climbed over the fence. Someone yelled, “Stay back! Stay back!” but she didn’t stop until she heard the sound of hooves close by.
She saw a man waving a rope above his head, trying to guide the horse into another pen. She felt a wave of panic as she realized she was in the corral with a wild horse. All those years ago, she’d been afraid of horses, that hadn’t changed. She held her breath as the horse thundered past her through a gate.
Her high heels hindered her progress over the loose dirt but nothing deterred her as she hurried to Colter’s side. When she reached him, the child called Ellie was already there, holding Colter’s head, crying, “Daddy, wake up! Please wake up.”
Marisa squatted beside them, her hand gently brushing the brown hair from his face. He was completely motionless, and her whole body felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.
Ellie glanced up at Marisa, tears streaming down her face. “Is my daddy dead?”
“No, no,” Marisa insisted, staring into green eyes so much like Colter’s. She quickly looked back at Colter, feeling the cold hand of fear grip her heart as she stared at his eyelashes, so dark against the pallor of his skin. His broad chest moved slightly, and she sucked in a breath of frosty air.
Her eyes traveled down to his legs. “Oh, my God,” she said. Something on the fence had ripped his jeans and blood was soaking through the denim.
The man came running over. “Is Colter okay?”
“He’s cut his leg. Would you get me a clean cloth to stop the bleeding?” she asked him.
The man hesitated for a second, then walked off to the double doors that opened into the barn and came back with a small towel. She pulled the jeans away and saw a gash about three inches long. It wasn’t deep. That was good, anyway. She pressed the towel against the wound and gave a sigh of relief as the bleeding slowed.
Colter’s eyelids fluttered open.
“Daddy, Daddy,” Ellie cried, kissing his face.
“Oooh,” he groaned, his eyes blinking. “What happened?”
“That mean old horse threw you,” Ellie told him.
“Damn.” He sat up, and as his hand went to his head, his eyes caught hers. “What are—?”
“You cut your leg on the fence,” she broke in.
Colter’s dazed eyes focused on her.
“Please leave,” he muttered in a thick voice.
“Colter, you’re hurt and…” Her voice trailed away as he struggled to his feet.
Marisa and Tulley immediately tried to help him.
Colter shook off Marisa’s arm.
“Who are you?” Ellie asked, staring at her.
“Uh—I’m Marisa Preston, a friend of your dad’s. I knew him a long time ago.” Silence followed.
“Lots of people know my daddy,” Ellie declared a moment later. “He’s a famous rodeo rider.”
The two men walked slowly to the house, Ellie and a grayish brown dog running ahead. There was no invitation for Marisa to come in, but she hesitated only a fraction of a second before trailing after them. She had to talk to Colter.
As they walked to a covered walkway, a light sleet began to fall and the cold wind tugged at their clothes. Shivering, she followed the others through the door and down a hallway—there was a laundry room to the right and a closet on the left. They entered a spacious breakfast nook and a kitchen decorated in a lovely country style. Touches of cobalt-blue and white milk glass were here and there, and the white-and-blue tiled floor only added to the feeling of warmth.
Marisa looked around for Shannon but didn’t see her. It suddenly dawned on her that this was inappropriate. She shouldn’t be here interrupting his family life. She should have called and arranged a meeting—that would’ve been the proper thing to do. Since confronting him in the store, though, she hadn’t been thinking too clearly.
“Ellie, turn up the heat. It’s getting cold,” Colter said, and slumped into a chair.
Ellie disappeared, and the man knelt in front of Colter with a first-aid kit and began to clean the jagged cut.
“Can I help?” she asked.
“I’ve been fixing his cuts, bruises and broken bones for more years than I care to remember,” the man replied. “So, no, I don’t need any help.”
That voice finally jogged her memory. “I’m sorry, Tulley, I didn’t recognize you.”
Tulley slit Colter’s jeans slightly to bandage the cut, then rose and faced her. “It’s been a long time, Marisa, and under the circumstances I think it’d be best if you left.”
Marisa bit her lip for fear it would start to quiver. This man had been kind to her once, but now kindness was not extended. She should leave; she’d already acknowledged that, but for some reason she couldn’t make herself go. The urge to talk to Colter was still strong, overriding good manners and common sense, and it kept her rooted to the spot.
“Daddy, what’s all that noise?” Ellie asked, running into the kitchen.
The adults had been so involved with one another that they hadn’t noticed it was sleeting in earnest now and that the wind howled.
“It’s just sleet, angelface.”
“Oh boy! Is it gonna snow, Daddy?”
“I don’t think so.”
“C’mon, Sooner, let’s go see,” Ellie shouted, and rushed out the door with the dog behind her.
“Ellie…”
“I’ll get her,” Tulley offered, glancing from Colter to Marisa. Colter nodded and Tulley left.
“I apologize for the intrusion,” she said as his eyes bore into her. “I shouldn’t have interrupted your life with Shannon and your daughters, and I…”
Colter looked confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I just saw Shannon from a distance in the store and I assumed the other little girl was yours, too.”
“If you saw Shannon, you have very good eyesight. She lives in Wyoming. The other little girl is Lori, my daughter’s best friend. The woman was my sister, Becky. It’s just Ellie and me now.”
“Oh.” Marisa didn’t know quite what to say. She’d pictured a perfect, happy marriage for him, and she wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation now that she knew differently. Leaving would be the best course of action. But she couldn’t go without telling him about their son. It was now or never.
“After seeing you today, I felt I needed to explain about the past,” she plunged in.
He shook his head. “Marisa, I thought I made this clear, but evidently you didn’t understand. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. We had a brief time together. It was over years ago. Nothing you say can change a thing, and I don’t care about your excuses anymore. It just doesn’t matter.”
It just doesn’t matter. Their son didn’t matter. She swallowed hard, trying to accept that, but nobody, not even Colter, could ever make her believe the short time their son was alive inside her didn’t matter. Their son had changed her life, and her perception of life in general. Losing him had given her the strength to stand up to her mother. She was still struggling to find herself, to find her niche in the world, but that had been a start.
It just doesn’t matter, he’d said. Maybe to him it didn’t. He had a new life, a new child, and Marisa was the only one not able to accept the past and move on. Suddenly she could see that Colter was right; telling him wouldn’t change a thing except maybe to cause him more hurt. And what would that accomplish? Nothing.
Losing their son was her own private pain and she had to deal with it on her own. Mistakenly she’d believed that sharing the truth about their baby with Colter would ease her heartache. But she was the only one who could overcome that grief.
“Please leave and don’t come back.” Colter’s voice penetrated her thoughts. “There’s nothing left to say.”
They stared at each other like strangers, total strangers, and Marisa felt the numbness of that reality. She had to leave.
But before she could move her feet, Ellie burst through the back door, followed by the big dog.
“Daddy, you should see,” Ellie shouted, pushing back the hood of her coat. “Ice is everywhere. It’s like a big skating ring, and Sooner says it’s gonna snow, too.”
Momentarily diverted, Marisa patted the dog’s head. “Sooner?” she repeated.
“Yeah, he’s part German shepherd and we don’t know what else, and Daddy named him Sooner ’cause he’d sooner eat and sleep than do anything else.” Ellie gave the dog a big hug. “Daddy, Sooner says he’s not going back outside ’cause it’s too cold.”
“Ellie, that dog does not talk.”
“Does, too.” Ellie pouted. “You just can’t hear him.”
“Ellie.” There was a note of warning in Colter’s voice. “We’ve been through this before. Sooner does not talk.”
Marisa didn’t understand how Colter could be so harsh. Lots of kids had imaginary friends, especially the lonely ones like her. She’d talked to a doll when she was about Ellie’s age, and she’d outgrown it, as would Ellie. She could offer Colter some reassurance, but she knew it wouldn’t be welcomed.
Ellie wriggled onto Colter’s lap and put her arms around his neck. “Does your leg hurt, Daddy?”
“Naw,” Colter answered, kissing her cheek.
Clearly Colter had a good relationship with his daughter. She couldn’t help thinking that while she’d been lying in a New York clinic in labor with their child, he’d already married someone else, started a new life, a family. A pang of jealousy pierced her as she realized he’d gotten over her with remarkable ease.
She wondered about his marriage. Were he and Shannon separated? Divorced? She couldn’t imagine Shannon ever leaving Colter or their child. What had happened?
Ellie didn’t look much like Colter, she thought, but the green eyes were definitely his. They’d said her son’s eyes were blue. Most babies were born with blue eyes, though. Later, would he have had the Kincaid green eyes or— Stop it. Her son was dead.
It was time to let go of the memories. It was time….
Chapter Three
Marisa turned to leave and just then, the electricity went out, shrouding the house in darkness. Outside the light was fading and nightfall wasn’t far away. She should’ve left already.
“Oooh, Daddy, what’s happening?” Ellie curled closer against Colter.
“The storm’s probably taken down some power lines. The electricity’s been out before, remember?”
Ellie raised her head to look at him. “Yeah, and we lit candles. I’ll go get the candles.” She jumped off his lap and ran to the cabinet, opened drawers.
“Top drawer on the left, angelface,” Colter said, and Marisa noticed how gentle and reassuring he was.
He was a great father. She felt an ache deep inside her, in a private place kept only for her son, a son Colter would never know.
Tulley came into the room with a battery-operated radio, and Marisa switched her focus to him, unable to deal with all the emotions railing within her.
“The Dallas-Fort Worth area and Mesquite are under a weather advisory,” Tulley said. “Some places, like here, don’t have power, and people are being advised to stay off the roads because of the ice.”
Ellie plopped several candles on the table, then handed Colter a box of matches. He absently lit a couple, and Marisa could see he was absorbing Tulley’s news.
“I need to get back to Dallas,” she said.
Tulley shook his head. “Not tonight.”
Colter’s eyes darkened in the glow of the candlelight. “Are you sure?”
Tulley set the radio on the table and turned it on. Through the static they heard, “…Do not drive unless it’s an emergency. Road conditions are hazardous…” The warning faded away into silence.
“DADDY, aren’t you gonna light another candle?” Ellie piped up.
Colter stared into Marisa’s eyes, trying to accept that she was here for the duration, trying to accept that he had to deal with her presence and, above all, trying not to lose his temper.
Ellie tugged at his arm. “Daddy?”
“Uh.” His gaze swung to his daughter. “Okay.” He lit several more candles.
