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Awful Auntie
David Walliams
From number one bestselling author David Walliams comes another heartfelt but hilarious hoot of an adventure.Stella Saxby is the sole heir to Saxby Hall. But awful Aunt Alberta and her giant owl will stop at nothing to get it from her. Luckily Stella has a secret – and slightly spooky – weapon up her sleeve…
Copyright (#ulink_51b8d240-378e-542f-8380-1cf55ac7dae0)
First published in hardback in Great Britain in 2014
by HarperCollins Children’s Books
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd,
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
Visit us on the web at www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
Cover lettering of author’s name © Quentin Blake 2010
David Walliams and Tony Ross assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
AWFUL AUNTIE Text © David Walliams 2014. Illustrations © Tony Ross 2014. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.
Source ISBN 978-0-00-745360-3
Ebook Edition © SEPTEMBER 2014 ISBN: 9780007453634
Version: 2018-08-22
This is Saxby Hall, where our story takes place.
Here is the interior of Saxby Hall.
This is a map of the house and grounds.
For Maya, Elise and Mitch
Thank yous
I would like to thank the following people.
Charlie Redmayne, the big boss at HarperCollins.
Ann-Janine Murtagh, who is the head of children’s books there.
Ruth Alltimes, my brilliant editor.
The great Tony Ross, who has once again brought the story alive with the most magical illustrations.
Kate Clarke, the cover designer.
Elorine Grant, who designed the inside of the book.
Geraldine Stroud and Sam White, who are in charge of publicity.
Paul Stevens, my literary agent at Independent.
Tanya Brennand-Roper, who produces the audio versions of my books.
Finally, of course, a huge thank you to Mrs Barbara Stoat, who writes all my books for me.
I do hope you enjoy this one. I haven’t read it myself so I have absolutely no clue as to what it’s about.
David Walliams
Contents
Cover (#u8d8db02f-ed33-5e40-8d9d-711c953c5f3b)
Title Page (#ub53b339a-3d16-50f3-b7a1-cc6d1b256187)
Copyright (#ulink_a0bad8cb-0d28-5a67-8fb0-83dd4ae48a8d)
Maps (#u86c38179-28db-502b-9a3d-39046b9d061c)
Dedication (#uf93644b6-2e3a-5a56-80f6-708efa37193c)
Thanks (#uec15de7d-d3d1-5387-b414-f75f93880d55)
Prologue (#ulink_eb74e5c4-99dc-54b8-99c4-dbe0c9eafa47)
I: Frozen (#ulink_7b3aef45-e60f-5d76-a368-7e44493e5c0a)
II: A Baby Vanishes (#ulink_f62dade0-05cb-51ca-87c7-972b2ff19cd5)
III: A Beastly Child (#ulink_175aa9a2-55e0-5dc6-91dd-1b85f7b8f408)
IV: The Great Bavarian Mountain Owl (#ulink_c95278a3-cc80-5e44-9851-60dc0059e623)
V: Mummified (#ulink_6a4c870c-23a6-52e4-921d-621c8fac3934)
VI: Some Terrible Nightmare (#ulink_cf7809f7-0d39-55db-a618-3efd3a38f548)
VII: The Human Caterpillar (#ulink_e4e45cec-8a58-5dcd-a7fb-92d0de05d70e)
VIII: The Great Escape (#ulink_e7cd74a2-a767-557e-952e-ec79a28109ca)
IX: Hunted Down (#ulink_3bd8ef15-654c-5e4f-a4cb-5b9c03874191)
X: Locked in the Cellar (#ulink_dc85ac3f-fd82-55d7-b017-14b2a44c2742)
XI: Behind the Walls (#ulink_828d83da-79cc-5d31-818f-4370a38f770d)
XII: Posho (#ulink_2b557f44-ef97-5724-9b28-cd84124934fe)
XIII: A Light in the Shape of a Boy (#ulink_b085467a-853c-5b73-b38b-4ee90bfd33ba)
XIV: Ghost Snot (#ulink_47ced6e0-0133-53b8-8d6a-9bd1ff06c2a6)
XV: The Ghost Detective (#ulink_4cae7758-7d19-5d1d-a1f3-0b2e5f9b3adc)
XVI: A Bitter Aftertaste (#ulink_4bf758c2-d75c-5e03-92f1-cde1deae3d74)
XVII: Desserts Galore (#ulink_978aa1ca-9206-5b23-b9ef-dc4c3af4a0bb)
XVIII: Crackle Crackle Crackle (#ulink_6bf23d7e-75fc-5d4c-85ef-affc523b7491)
XIX: Deeply Creepy (#ulink_143baba6-8848-531a-a88e-f8e7942b4c20)
XX: Absolutely Crackers (#ulink_fe5f943d-c035-5259-8ee7-9c36f4a675bb)
XXI: A Crime Thriller (#ulink_433465b4-db4d-5142-9c04-1400d1147f05)
XXII: Shadow of a Doubt (#ulink_9c3fcd08-e393-57f0-9aea-4f9a55fec93f)
XXIII: Foul Play (#ulink_92e42f72-c317-526e-920b-5caeec2119cf)
XXIV: Stuffed Owls (#ulink_53d4bf13-fc38-59bd-90d3-2d5017aa6aa4)
XXV: Biting the Air (#ulink_3cab020d-d1b3-5448-b708-d9d436ffa952)
XXVI: Lurking Death (#ulink_b3665ebb-520a-5257-85c9-265c1480cd5f)
XXVII: Battle of the Billiards Room (#ulink_b7518de2-f40e-5329-8629-247b6df2a240)
XXVIII: Under the Cover of Darkness (#ulink_898c1de2-782a-5057-adc6-695065e71d25)
XXIX: Grisly Toupee (#ulink_b72caa50-4f4c-558d-9fdc-3e18fe52b7f5)
XXX: The Owl-Rack (#ulink_e20891f3-7b16-5250-8f50-64165af09090)
XXXI: Ants in Pants (#ulink_09628881-6bf6-59a5-8b82-6bf8163c2b88)
XXXII: “My Bottom! My Bottom!” (#ulink_fc9fec07-4eb9-5bab-afe1-20faadf0eda4)
XXXIII: A Game of Cat and Mouse (#ulink_3debe409-650e-5d4b-b9b6-3eeab5b34003)
XXXIV: The Driving Lesson (#ulink_399d5c5d-66a1-5421-84cc-0062dd558c30)
XXXV: The Frozen Lake (#ulink_bc330795-07b8-5484-83d5-94a9942d2e7a)
XXXVI: Easy-peasy-poo (#ulink_ee706817-0e6f-5f51-9c82-b165fb49f920)
XXXVII: Burn Burn Burn (#ulink_b9d723d1-1245-5aa1-bba0-325069084500)
XXXVIII: The Perfect Murder (#ulink_76a00059-ead4-54ba-bd0e-74b72ccadf85)
XXXIX: The Big Bad Wolf (#ulink_c8ba5c7f-8989-5bf5-92b0-dee2c0449a0d)
XL: The End of a Mystery (#ulink_01f526be-64eb-55ab-abda-7e4f522fb990)
XLI: Hide-and-Seek (#ulink_73930ede-e614-55d0-b09a-02b99e8f47e2)
XLII: Dead Calm (#ulink_65f19399-7ec5-53f3-bd00-dd87e885e41d)
XLIII: Promise (#ulink_1e0c34e0-ee45-58de-aa82-906f692cd071)
Epilogue (#ulink_dc1ae544-ec06-57c2-8b18-6a1bcef0da8b)
A Letter of Complaint
More From David Walliams (#ubf79b421-0484-5dd7-8017-0d482e4acabe)
Also by David Walliams (#ulink_525b2b4d-a1fb-50e0-a6a4-8e431cf1f245)
Back Ad (#u8620addf-ffd6-51c2-a29e-7152d664a7db)
About the Publisher (#ulink_b19064bf-408e-5c6c-ae01-181f4754582b)
Prologue (#ulink_b58f89b4-24c3-5629-9082-ba97cf8d8445)
Do you have an awful auntie? One that never allows you to stay up to watch your favourite television programme? Or an aunt who makes you eat up every last spoonful of her revolting rhubarb crumble, even though she knows you hate rhubarb? Maybe your aunt gives her pet poodle a big slobbering wet kiss and then immediately gives you a big slobbering wet kiss too? Or does your aunt scoff all the most delicious chocolates from the box, leaving you with just the dreaded black cherry liqueur? Perhaps your aunt demands you wear that horrendously itchy jumper she knitted for you at Christmas? The one which reads ‘I Love My Auntie’ in huge purple letters on the front?
However awful your auntie might be, she will never be in the same league of awfulness as Aunt Alberta.
Aunt Alberta is the most awful aunt who ever lived.
Would you like to meet her?
Yes? I thought you would.
Here she is in all her awful awfulness…
Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then I will begin…
Meet the other characters in this story…
