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She doesnât want to seem too taken and treat him as if he were the only man on earth. Much better to think about more concrete things like a special dinner, with all her best dishes: saffron-flavoured lasagne, blueberry tart, a good Italian wine. Everything must be simple, but perfect, to welcome the man who is going to change the course of her life. Luciana canât wait to embrace him. She takes up going to the gym again, she lunches on salad and mozzarella. She wants to lose two or three kilos in the time she has left before she meets Vincent.
Luciana becomes more beautiful and her friends notice this. Her eyes sparkle as she tells her story, how lucky she has been to have met a special man on Facebook. A few of her friends speak of caution: «Be careful with social media! Things are not always what they seem!» But Luciana barely listens. She expected these warnings and doesnât take heed. Her happiness springs from having met the man of her life, and her friendsâ gossip will not ruin it for her.
But one day she receives bad news that dampens her contentment, that feeling of being lucky, privileged almost by fate. Vincent sends her a message from Ivory Coast asking her for help. Heâs desperate. His briefcase has been stolen and with it his wallet and credit card, his mobile phone and all the money he had with him. Whatâs more, the thieves chased him by car and while he was trying to get away from them he ran over an 8-year old child who was seriously injured and is now in hospital. At this point, Vincent risks prison if he doesnât immediately pay 2500 euros for medical treatment.
The fog begins to clear in Lucianaâs mind
Many women would have paid, just as they pay in other Romance Scams, but Luciana starts hearing little alarm bells ringing, and she begins asking things, asking, asking: a photo of the run-over child, his name and details, the address and bank coordinates of the hospital where the money is to be transferred.
Vincent is a little offended by her mistrust. He tells her so. Then he patiently explains that the hospital does not accept bank transactions from Europe. The only way to pay is by Money transfer.
The fog clears in Lucianaâs brain and she emails the embassy in Abidjan asking for information about the self-styled Vincent, she provides his FACEBOOK profile, and little else. She discovers the man is an impostor who is known to the police because he is part of a gang specializing in romance scams.
The little alarm bells
Luciana starts adding all the information in her possession together. The alleged Vincent pretends he is French because Ivory Coast, a former colony, uses French as its official language. Heâs never left Abidjan and has pretended to go there, to be able to receive the cash payment in his homeland.
Luciana doesnât send him the money and sheâs clever to realise, in time, that itâs a scam. The request for money sets off a little alarm bell inside her. Intuition and reason prevail over her emotions, and the scammer loses the match he has so laboriously played.
Any woman, anybody - when asked for money - should awake from their romantic obfuscation. The automatic reaction should be: Money = Wake up!
Then tell the unscrupulous looter to sod off. But itâs not easy to let go of the dream. Luciana cries for days on end, after reporting the scam. She says she felt completely stupid, an idiot:
«He used such psychological violence - Luciana explains during an interview - as to literally bring me to my knees. He even used to ask me if Iâd slept well, if Iâd eaten and if Iâd had a good day at work! Itâs obvious that if Iâd been thinking straight I would have understood that it was impossible that there was such a nice polite man who was going to fall in love with someone like me, neither beautiful, nor young; but unfortunately, as the saying goes, love is blind»
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Mary
Maryâs story is told by her son Lucien. A nasty story, but with a happy ending, if it can be called that when you get your own money back.
Mary has just turned 59 when sheâs contacted by an American sailor who wishes her a happy birthday and asks her to be friends. The man says his name is Michael Miller and heâs 53.
Sheâs been living in Italy for a decade. French by birth, she used to be married to an Italian journalist from whom sheâs divorced. She has a son Lucien, born of her marriage, who is a high school mathematics teacher and who lives in Rome, like his mother.
Michaelâs first contact happens on her birthday. He asks her to be friends, she accepts. He sends her (a photo of) an enormous bouquet of red roses with a happy birthday message in English.
«What did you do for your birthday?» Michael asks her the following day, in bad Italian.
«It was nice! I had dinner with my friends and we had a lovely evening.»
«Do you have a lot of friends? Who do you like? I'm jealous.»
«Do you speak French? - asks Mary - my English is not very good.»
«Avez vous beaucoup d'amis? Qui aimez-vous? je suis jaloux,» he repeats admitting heâs translated the phrase on Google, then he continues the conversation with copy and paste from an online translator.
«Well if youâre using Google just choose Italian - Mary urges him - because in French I feel like I want to correct all your mistakes.»
«Do you have many friends? Who do you like? Iâm jealous.»
«Donât talk nonsense!»
«I canât stop thinking about you. I saw your photo a month ago, but Iâm shy and I only found the courage to contact you with it being your birthday!»
«Really?» asks Mary flattered. «What did you find so attractive in me? Iâm just a normal woman.»
«Normal? Say normal is false. Saying youâre normal is just not true. Youâre beautiful.»
«How old did you say you are?»
«53, and you?»
«Iâm 59, Iâm older than you. Men always look for young girls. What attracts you to such a mature person?»
«Your photo shows me an elegant lady, you're a beautiful woman. Mary, you mustnât underestimate yourself Mary. Look at yourself with loveâs eyes, as I see you, and youâll see youâre beautiful!»
«Love? Youâre going rather fast now!»
«Yes, Iâm going fast, but Iâm following my heart thatâs going even faster than me!»
A week after her birthday Mary has the sensation sheâs known Michael for a long time. He contacts her every day at the same time, and his requests to love her are increasingly persistent. He says nice things, and although his Italian is only approximate, he confesses to her that heâs never felt such overwhelming feelings before. Heâs had other affairs, but nothing important, because heâs always believed that to build a sincere relationship he had to find his soul mate. He believes that God has created an ideal lover for every being on earth, and heâs lucky to have managed to find her and fulfil his dream.
To live together, get married and lay together one beside the other as a single body; this is human happiness. Thereâs nothing more beautiful!
Mary is intoxicated by these words, by Michaelâs attentions, as he floods her with pictures of beautiful scenes at sunset, flowers, mostly red roses, with the phrase «Je tâaime,» or «Je tâaime beaucoup,» or alternatively «I love you.»
Strangely he doesnât send her any pictures of himself in other poses or moments of his daily life. Mary only has two pictures of Michael, one close-up and another full-length view. Both pictures show him in uniform and are of an attractive man, with a high forehead, a proud gaze and just a hint of a smile. Not much to fall in love with. However, Mary is so enraptured by his words, promises, allusions to perfect sentimental and sexual happiness, that she doesnât ask for more. To share the dream of a soul mate is what she wants too. She believes in it. She wants nothing else. Michaelâs words are a daily dose of pleasure, a spoken and virtual intuition that is the premise to their real-life meeting, which will happen very soon. Michael wants that, Mary wants it, especially after messages like this:
«Darling I miss you so much, youâve become necessary for my soul, my heart. Youâre my day and night.
Youâre the sun and the moon to me. Youâre my queen. I miss you so much and the days separating me from you are much too long and cruel. Oh, how I would like to cut the ribbon of time which separates us from our first meeting! Love me Mary! Make me happy and never betray our dream!».
Finally, our meeting, but first Iâm going to Abidjan!
Strange the coincidences in life, because Maryâs story also has links with Ivory Coast. And quite by chance, Michael needs to go precisely to Abidjan to clinch a deal. He intends to leave the marines and plans to set up a diamond import-export business with his severance pay.
A million carats worth of diamonds a year are extracted in Ivory Coast. So, Michael, who is planning his future business and success, has an appointment with a manager from the mines who will suggest the right quantities of precious stones to export, the purchase prices and the sales prices on the European markets.
The forecast is for huge profits, so the Marine has ploughed all his savings into getting together the sum to be paid in advance to start his export business to Europe. He has a lot of money set aside because he earns more than eight thousand dollars a month. Then heâll pay the manager of the mines the contractual balance with his military service severance pay.
Mind you! The most exciting part of the plan, as told by Michael, is that heâll start his journey towards Europe with Italy, Rome, where heâll stop off to embrace Mary, and plan their future together; to crown their dream of a happy union and looking ahead - why not - even get married.
After another week of online chat, with Michaelâs usual loving attentions, the anticipated time of departure for the Ivory Coast comes around.
He calls her as soon as he gets to Abidjan and tells her heâs had a good journey. Theyâll talk again online the following day.
Instead three long days go by with no sign of Michael. Mary starts to worry, she doesnât know what to put this silence down to. Sheâs anxious. Then she finally receives a call from Ivory Coast. The person contacting her is a doctor in a clinic who tells her that Michael is seriously ill. He was taken to hospital after being attacked by three criminals. Heâs having an operation on his spleen. It was Michael himself who begged the doctor to contact her, because before going under the knife (heâs very seriously injured the poor man) he thought about Mary knowing sheâd be worried and asked them (we imagine in a faint whisper) to contact his woman.
The doctor talks at length to Mary (almost as though he hasnât got much else to do) and ends the telephone call by informing her that the following day Michael himself will probably be able to call her.
Worried out of her mind Mary sends him messages, without any result. Then the following day she sees a photo of him, sent to her smartphone. His face is swollen, it looks painful. The operation has gone well he explains, speaking softly and painfully. Theyâve removed his spleen. He must rest until he recovers.
He tells her that his attackers stole 90 thousand dollars off him. He has nothing now until heâs paid his severance money. He hasnât even got the money to pay the clinic. Whatâs more heâs signed the contract with the manager of the mines and he must cover the cheque he paid as a guarantee. He wouldnât want to ask her for help for anything in the world, but heâs desperate!
Mary canât really understand why he went around with so much cash on him and she asks him. Michael explains that he was going to deposit it at the bank in Abidjan, to cover the cheque for 50 thousand dollars he paid as an advance on the diamond shipment agreement. Upset, he explains his position to her, tormenting himself because he knows it isnât normal to turn to her to ask for help. Heâd rather die, but heâs deeply distressed! Heâs got to find a solution because if he doesnât cover the cheque the deal will fall through, and heâll also have to pay a fine.
The rest of the story unfortunately, as you can imagine, is an impoverishment of poor Mary in favour of the crook, who is not called Michael, but is a young African and part of a gang specialised in romance scams.
The story told by Lucien
«My mother had sent several remittances to Michael, in Ivory Coast, for various reasons. It began with 50 thousand dollars through Western Unionâ and Money Gram, because she was upset by the attack on the man she had fallen in love with and his serious condition. She used up all her savings to help him, because anyway he told her he would pay the loan back as soon as he was better again.
Once the shipments for the sale of the diamonds began he would personally come to Rome to bring her a cheque and start their future together. But the man had a great deal of financial obligations at that sad moment in time. We all know the cost of a clinic, rehabilitation, the expense of hotel accommodation, and the second tranche for the import-export business.
My mother even sold her apartment - says Lucien - to keep up with the constant demands of that man, who convinced her with false, urgent and unavoidable reasons. When she realised sheâd been scammed, she became depressed. Sad and without any financial resources left, she tormented herself every day for having been so stupid when she should have realised it was a scam and sought advice. But she didnât.
I sent my mother to be treated, to help her overcome her moral disorientation. But wounds like that are difficult to heal at her ageâ¦Â».
The providential money transfer receipts
Luckily Mary had kept all the Western Unionâ and Money Gram receipts. She also maintained contact with her scammer, while her son Lucien sought information amongst his journalist friends and went so far as to consult an Interpol branch, where an agent got to work investigating and had the members of the gang arrested.
Subsequently, after it had received proof of the sums sent, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ivory Coast took steps to return the money to her.
But Maryâs pain at having been hit like that in her feelings will last a long time yet. Every so often she suddenly awakes in the night because she dreams that someone is taking a bag full of diamonds away from her. She cries out for help and sees a man in the uniform of a Marine laughing mockingly.
Mary grieves every time she awakes and thinks about Michael again. She imagines him as he was in the photos which she gazed at so many times. She can hardly believe that Michael doesnât exist; that his words of love were phrases copied here and there, from romantic texts or invented on the spur of the moment to lure her into a romance scam.
Her computer at home is always turned off now, a piece of equipment that she canât even bear to dust without feeling distressed. The internet is a place of death and suffering. She wouldnât want to go on a social networking site for anything in the world.
Silvia
The protagonist of this story does not want to give her real name. Sheâs a young woman of 32 who in the spring of 2016 received a friend request from a forty-year-old Frenchman, a handsome guy who said his name was Henry Dupont. Weâll call her Silvia:
«He messaged me immediately on Messenger - says Silvia - telling me I was his type and heâd fallen in love with me. He put lots of little hearts and kisses, he wrote sweet things to me. I felt a little uncomfortable, because his zeal seemed excessive, considering that I barely knew him. In fact, I didnât know him, Iâd only seen a picture of him, which although nice, was not very meaningful for me as to who this person was.
So, I ignored him for a couple of days. I didnât want to be invaded like that in my private life by unsolicited affection.
Henry contacted me again, I answered out of politeness. I read his loving words and meanwhile I thought that perhaps I was acting unfairly towards Gianni, my companion who I hadnât been getting along with very well lately. We were arguing for every silly little thing and going out together less often than before».
Henry turns up online again every evening, he talks to Silvia and tells her about his life. He tells her heâs a widower with two children, a boy and a girl. Then he touches on the very sad topic of his wifeâs death which happened several years earlier. He speaks to her of his loneliness, with two small children to bring up without their mother. He sends her touching photos of the children with their daddy (a sad and disconsolate man!). Silvia very correctly informs him that she already has a companion and is not interested in other affairs, especially with people she doesnât know directly. But Henry doesnât desist, he sends her more pictures with flowers, beating hearts, endearing little teddies and phrases full of tenderness.
Silvia is cautious, and this can be deduced from her words. Sheâs not a woman who is used to making light-hearted decisions. If she did, she would feel guilty towards her companion because, although their relationship is a little difficult, sheâs aware that he doesnât deserve to be cast aside.
The womanâs resistance to Henry is effective, however her slightly veiled initial interest increases day by day. After all itâs unusual to be the object of so much attention and affection. There is reason enough to be flattered.
One evening Henry writes to her that the following day he will fly to Ivory Coast, where his family has a real estate business. Silvia wishes him a pleasant journey.
For two days she hears nothing from him. Then he starts writing to her again spending time chatting online to her. He tells her that those moments are the only peaceful ones of his day. He isnât happy in the environment around him. In fact, he doesnât go out at night, he doesnât mix with anyone and above all he doesnât trust anyone because heâs in a dangerous place. The roads are lined with prostitutes, robbers, pickpockets.
One evening he tells her heâs chatted to his daughter. Sheâs sent him a kiss writing: âSMACK!â in large letters. Silvia is moved by this and smiles. She tells him itâs beautiful having such affectionate children.
After the roses and flowers, we can expect an ill-fated event
Contact between Henry and Silvia is interrupted for about ten days. She doesnât get in touch with him. After all, apart from the flattering declarations of love, sheâs not really interested in him. Or at least, sheâs not interested enough to go looking for him or get worried about his absence.
Henry suddenly gets in touch again, telling her heâs been mugged shortly before returning home. Without beating about the bush, he asks her to help him out with some money, because heâs been left high and dry. He has nothing. He tells her the details of the armed robbery that heâs suffered at the hands of two thugs. Frightened of being killed Henry gave them everything he had on him: his wallet, his credit card, his gold watch.
Silvia answers that she is sorry. Henry insists on asking her to send him money. She doesnât have money and tells him so, but Henry continues to describe all his trials and tribulations. He says he has nothing, not even the minimum to be able to eat. Silvia advises him to make a complaint to the police. He answers heâs already done that, but all the same, heâs still without any resources. Only she can help him.
«No.» replies Silvia. «I donât have money to give to anyone. I can barely cover my own expenses!»
«Youâre heartless!» the man rants, «I need the money for my children!»
So, she starts questioning him. The usual questions that would come to mind to anyone. She asks him where his relatives in the real estate business are. She wants him to explain why his children are in Ivory Coast and not in France.
Henry gets cross, he tells her she hasnât understood a thing of what heâs told her. He makes excuses for his contradictions. Then he changes tone and asks her for a lower figure. A thousand euros will suffice. «Can she send whatever she can! Heâll pay back every cent.»
Silvia interrupts the conversation. Embittered she does some research and discovers heâs a scammer.
She was about to fall for it too, but in this case, sheâs always kept a level head. She didnât let herself be enchanted, a little thanks to her personality, a little because basically that unknown man never really seemed completely convincing to her. To be precise, letâs say the romantic talk on his part was fake, there never was any on her part.
Daria
«It happened to me as well. Two months of really loving letters and sweet words that any woman would love to hear».
This is how Dariaâs story begins; she calls the person who scammed her a shady individual. She says she used to think these things happened to old-age pensioners or to little naïve, lonely women, and she specifically uses derogatory phrases to define the individuals in this story, because sheâs full of contempt for herself. She feels stupid, with no excuse, just a poor, weak woman. Daria tells her story on Massimo Cappaneraâs blog, the clinical psychologist who is an expert on web scams and invites people to tell their stories of what happened to them, so those reading are warned and donât fall into the same trap.
I spent two months living in the clouds
Marcello says heâs Italian when he approaches Daria. But from how he expresses himself, itâs clear that heâs not. She points out that his written Italian is not very good, and he justifies it by explaining that he was born in Italy, but his mother is German. His father died when he was a child, and on the death of his father, his mother decided to relocate to Great Britain where they lived for many years.
Daria speaks several languages and she tells him to choose whichever he prefers: Spanish, English, German.
«Iâm a widower, and I have a twelve-year-old daughter - he explains - I travel a lot on international business. I take my little girl and the baby sitter with me because I donât like leaving my daughter alone. Itâs just the two of us all alone in the world.»
At this, Daria starts to nourish compassion and understanding for this widowed man with his sweet daughter always at his side.
«Iâm based in Bristol for work - continues Marcello - but my business takes me everywhere. I organise big expensive tenders.»
«Thatâs quite a demanding job!», observes Daria.
«Yes, but Iâm used to the work and to travelling. Iâm happy with the way business is going. The only thing missing in my life is a woman to sweep me off my feet. Iâm happy because Iâve found her now, but my happiness will only be complete when I can embrace you.»
«Will that day be soon?»
«Sooner than you think!», Marcello assures her emphatically.
