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“Maybe that’s why we got along so well.” Rosa looked at her friend. Clearly, Linda wasn’t buying it. “All right, what about Derek Gunn? Eight months, at least.”
“I’d hardly call that a lifelong commitment. I wish you’d stuck with him. He was great, Rosa.”
“He had a fatal flaw,” Rosa muttered.
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“You’ll say I’m petty.”
“Try me. I’m not letting you out of my sight until you ’fess up.”
“He was boring.” The admission burst from Rosa on a sigh.
“He drives a Lexus.”
“I rest my case.”
Linda got an extra mug and shared her tea with Rosa. “He’s got a house on the water in Newport.”
“Boring house. Boring water. Even worse, he has a boring family. Hanging out with them was like watching paint dry. And I’ll probably burn in hell for saying that.”
“It’s best to know what your issues are before going ahead with a relationship.”
“You been watching too much Dr. Phil. I have no issues.”
Linda coughed. “Stop that. You’ll make me snort tea out my nose.”
“Okay, so what are my issues?”
Linda waved a hand. “Uh-uh, I’m not touching that one. I need you to be my maid of honor, and it won’t happen if we’re not speaking. That’s what this meeting’s about, by the way. Me. My wedding. Not that it’s anywhere near as interesting as you and Alex Montgomery.”
“There is no me and Alex Montgomery,” Rosa insisted. “And—not to change the subject—did I just hear you ask me to be your maid of honor?”
Linda took a deep breath and beamed at her. “I did. You’re my oldest and dearest friend, Rosa. I want you to stand up with me at my wedding. So, will you?”
“Are you kidding?” Rosa gave her friend’s hand a squeeze. “I’d be honored.”
She loved weddings and had been a bridesmaid six times. She knew it was six because, deep in the farthest reaches of her closet, she had six of the ugliest dresses ever designed, in colors no one had ever seen before. But Rosa had worn each one with a keen sense of duty and pride. She danced and toasted at the weddings; she caught a bouquet or two in her time. After each wedding, she returned home, carrying her dyed-to-match shoes in one hand and her wilting bouquet in the other.
“…as soon as we set a date,” Linda was saying.
Rosa realized her thoughts had drifted. “Sorry. What?”
“Hello? I said, keep August 21 and 28 open for me, okay?”
“Yes, of course.”
Linda finished her tea. “I’d better let you go. You need to deal with Alex Montgomery.”
“I don’t need to deal with Alex Montgomery. There’s simply no dealing to be done.”
“I don’t think you have a choice,” Linda said.
“That’s ridiculous. Of course I have a choice. Just because he came back to town doesn’t mean it’s my job to deal with him.”
“It’s your shot, Rosa. Your golden opportunity. Don’t let it pass you by.”
Rosa spread her hands, genuinely baffled. “What shot? What opportunity? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“To get unstuck.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“You’ve been stuck in the same place since Alex left you.”
“Bullshit. I’m not stuck. I have a fabulous life here. I never wanted to be anywhere else.”
“I don’t mean that kind of stuck. I mean emotionally stuck. You never got over the hurt and distrust of what happened with Alex, and you can’t move on. Now that he’s back, you’ve got a chance to clear the air with him and get him out of your heart and out of your head once and for all.”
“He’s not in my heart,” Rosa insisted. “He’s not in my head.”
“Right.” Linda patted her arm. “Deal with him, Rosa. You’ll thank me one day. He can’t be having an easy time, you know, since his mother—”
“What about his mother?” Rosa hadn’t heard talk of Emily Montgomery in ages, but that was not unusual. She never came to the shore anymore.
“God, you didn’t hear?”
“Hear what?”
“I just assumed you knew.” Linda jumped up and rifled through the stack of daily papers. She returned with a Journal Bulletin, folded back to show Rosa.
She stared at the photo of the haughtily beautiful Emily Montgomery, portrait-posed and gazing serenely at the camera.
“Oh, God.” Her hands rattled the paper as she pushed it away from her on the table. Then, in the same movement, she gathered the paper close and started to read. “Society matron Emily Wright Montgomery, wife of financier Alexander Montgomery III, died on Wednesday at her home in Providence…”
Rosa laid down the paper and looked across the table at her friend. “She was only fifty-five.”
“That’s what it says. Doesn’t seem so old now that we’re nearly thirty.”
“I wonder what happened.” Rosa thought about the way Alex had been last night—slightly drunk, coming on to her. Now his recklessness took on a different meaning. He’d just lost his mother. Last night, she had dropped him off at an empty house.
Linda leveled her gaze at Rosa. “You should ask him.”
Four
Rosa drove along Prospect Street to the house where she’d grown up. Little had changed here, only the names of the residents and the gumball colors of their clapboard houses. Buckling concrete driveways led to crammed garages with sagging rooflines. Maple and elm trees arched over the roadway, their stately grace a foil for the homely houses.
It was nice here, she reflected. Safe and comfortable. People still tended their peonies and hydrangeas, their roses and snapdragons. Women pegged out laundry on clotheslines stretched across sunny backyards. Kids rode bikes from house to house and climbed the overgrown apple tree in the Lipschitzes’ yard. She still thought of it as the Lipschitzes’ yard even though Linda’s parents had retired to Vero Beach, Florida, years ago.
She pulled up to the curb in front of number 115, a boxy house with a garden so neat that people sometimes slowed down to admire it. A pruned hedge guarded the profusion of roses that bloomed from spring to winter. Each of the roses had a name. Not the proper name of its variety, but Salvatore, Roberto, Rosina—each one planted in honor of their first communion. There were also roses that honored relatives in Italy whom Rosa had never met, and a few for people she didn’t know—La Donna, a scarlet beauty, and a coral floribunda whose name she couldn’t remember.
The sturdy bush by the front step, covered in creamy-white blooms, was the Celesta, of course. A few feet away was the one Rosa, a six-year-old with a passion for Pepto-Bismol pink, had chosen for herself. Mamma had been so proud of her that day, beaming down like an angel from heaven. It was one of those memories Rosa cherished, because it was so clear in her heart and mind. She wished all the past could be remembered this way, with clarity and affection, no tinge of regret. But that was naive, and by now, she had figured that out.
She used her ancient key to let herself in. Pop had given it to her when she was nine years old, and she had never once lost it. In the front hall, she blinked the lights a few times. Out of habit she called his name, though it had been some years since he’d been able to hear her.
An acrid odor wafted from the kitchen, along with a buzzing sound.
“Shit,” she muttered under her breath, clutching the strap of her purse to her shoulder as she ran to the back of the house. On the counter, a blender stood unattended, its seized motor humming its last, rubber-scented smoke streaming from the base. She grabbed the cord—it felt hot to the touch—and jerked it from the wall. Inside the blender, the lukewarm juice sloshed. The kitchen smoke alarm blinked—what good was that if Pop wasn’t looking?
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you’re going to kill yourself one of these days,” Rosa said, waving the smoke away from her face. She peered through the window and saw him out in the backyard, puttering around, oblivious.
On the kitchen table, a newspaper lay open to the Emily Montgomery obituary. Rosa pictured her father starting his breakfast, paging through the paper, stopping in shock as he read the news. He’d probably wandered outside to think about it.
She opened the windows and turned on the exhaust fan over the range, then emptied the blender carafe into the sink. As she cleaned up the mess, Rosa felt a wave of nostalgia. In the scrubbed and gleaming kitchen, her mother’s rolled-out pasta dough used to cover the entire top of the chrome and Formica table. Rosa could still picture the long sleek muscles in her mother’s arms as she wielded the red-handled rolling pin, drawing it in smooth, rhythmic strokes over the butter-yellow dough.
The reek of the burnt-out motor was a corruption here, in Mamma’s world. The smell of her baking ciambellone used to be so powerful it drew the neighbors in, and Rosa could remember the women in their aprons and scuffs, sitting on the back stoop, sharing coffee and Mamma’s citrusy ciambellone, fresh from the oven.
To this day, the sweet, dense bread was one of the signature brunch items at Celesta’s-by-the-Sea. Butch prepared the dough directly on the countertop with his bare hands, no bowls or spoons, just like Mamma had. Rosa appreciated Butch’s skill at cooking and his exquisite palate, but some subtle essence was missing; she could only put it down as magic. No one could capture that, though Rosa knew in some part of her heart that she would never stop trying.
She went out back to talk to her father. The yard had a long rectangular garden that had been laid out and planted by her mother before Rosa was born. Nowadays, her father tended the heirloom tomatoes, peppers, beans and herbs, happy to spend his silent hours in a place his young wife had loved.
He was seated on a wooden folding chair beneath a plum tree, smoking a pipe. A few branches lay around, casualties of the recent windstorm. He looked up when her shadow fell over him.
“Hi, Pop,” she said.
“Rosa.” He set aside the pipe, stood and held out his arms.
She smiled and hugged him, then gave him a kiss on the cheek, inhaling his familiar scent of shaving soap and pipe tobacco. When she stepped back, she made sure he was looking directly at her, and told him about the blender.
“I guess I forgot and left it on,” he said.
“The house could have burned down, Pop.”
“I’ll be careful from now on, okay?”
It was what he always said when Rosa worried about him. It didn’t help, but neither did arguing with him. She studied his face, noticing troubled shadows in his eyes, and knew it had nothing to do with the blender. “You heard about Mrs. Montgomery.”
“Yes. Of course. It was in all the papers.”
Pop had always been addicted to reading the newspapers, usually two a day. In fact, Rosa had learned to read while sitting in his lap, deciphering the funny pages.
He took her hand in his. He had wonderful hands, blunt and strong, callused from the work he did. His touch was always gentle, as though he feared she might break. “Let’s sit. Want some coffee?”
“No, thanks.” She joined him in the shade of the plum tree. He seemed…different today. Distracted and maybe diminished, somehow. “Are you all right, Pop?”
“I’m fine, fine.” He waved off her concern like batting at a fly.
This wouldn’t be the first time he’d lost a client. In the forty years since he had emigrated from Italy, he’d worked for scores of families in the area. But today he seemed to be particularly melancholy.
“She was still so young,” Rosa commented.
“Yes.” A faraway look came into his eyes. “She was a bride when I first saw her, just a girl, younger than you.”
Rosa tried to picture Alex’s mother as a young bride, but the image eluded her. She realized Mrs. Montgomery must have been just thirty the first time Rosa had seen her. It seemed inconceivable. Emily Montgomery had always been ageless in her crisp tennis whites, her silky hair looped into a ponytail. She wore almost no jewelry, which Rosa later learned was characteristic of women from the oldest and wealthiest families. Ostentation was for the nouveau riche.
Mrs. Montgomery had lived in terror for her fragile son and had regarded Rosa as a danger to his health.
“I wonder how she died,” Rosa said to her father. “Did any of the obituaries say?”
“No. There was nothing.”
She watched a ladybug lumber over a blade of grass. “Are you going to the service, or—”
“No, of course not. It is not expected. She doesn’t need the gardener. And if I sent flowers, well, they would just get lost.”
Rosa got up, pacing in agitation. She walked over to the tomato bushes, the centerpiece of the spectacular garden plot. In her mind’s eye, she could see her mother in a house dress that somehow looked pretty on her, a green-sprigged apron, bleached Keds with no socks, a straw hat to keep the sun from her eyes. Mamma never hurried in the garden, and she used all her senses while tending it. She would hold a tomato in the palm of her hand, determining its ripeness by its softness and heft. Or she would inhale the fragrance of pepperoncini or bell peppers, test a pinch of flat leaf parsley or mint between her teeth. Everything had to be at its peak before Mamma brought it to the kitchen.
Rosa bent and plucked a stalk of dockweed from the soil. She straightened, turned to find her father watching her, and she smiled. His hearing loss broke her heart, but it had also brought them closer. Of necessity, he had become incredibly attentive, watching her, reading every nuance of movement and expression with uncanny accuracy. His skill at reading lips was remarkable.
And he knew her so well, she thought, her smile wobbling. “Alex came by the restaurant last night.”
Pop’s eyebrows lowered, but he didn’t comment. He didn’t have to. Years ago, he had thought Alex a poor match for her, and his opinion probably hadn’t changed.
“He didn’t say a word about his mother,” she continued. That was when she felt a twist of pain. He’d been drinking last night because he was hurting. Surely his friends must’ve realized that. Why had they simply left him? Why didn’t he have better friends? Why did it matter to her?
“Well.” Pop slapped his thighs and stood up. “I must go to work. The Camdens are having a croquet party and they need their hedges trimmed.”
Rosa removed his flat black cap and kissed his balding head. “You come up to the restaurant tonight. Butch is fixing bluefish for the special.”
“I’m gonna get fat, I keep eating at your place all the time.”
She gave his arm a playful punch. “See you, Pop.”
“Yeah, okay.”
She stepped through the gate and turned to wave. The expression on his face startled her. “Pop, you sure you’re doing all right?”
Instead of replying to her question, he said, “You shouldn’t mess with that guy, just because he came back.”
“Who says I’m messing with him?”
“Tell me I’m wrong, Rosa.”
“Don’t worry about me, Pop. I’m a big girl now.”
“I always worry about you. Why else am I still here on this earth?”
She touched her hand to her heart and then raised it to sign I love you.
