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Michael turned toward his brother Jesse. With those seven words, Michael knew his acting hadn’t worked. Making sure no one was within hearing distance he said, “No, she sure isn’t. I’m so angry and confused, Jess, I don’t know what to do. I married the wrong woman.”
Jesse frowned. “What do you mean ‘the wrong woman’?”
With a shake of his head, Michael beat back the awful truth. “Selina didn’t write the letters—her friend Aimee did.”
“I don’t understand.”
There was no reason to hide the truth. Jesse had been with him through this whole thing from the beginning. In short detail, Michael explained everything to his brother. How the woman he fell in love with didn’t really exist. Or if she did, she existed in two different people. One of whom he married. The other of whom he might have actually loved.
Jesse’s concern was written all over his face. “Now that’s a tough one. But remember, you did pray about it.”
“I didn’t pray for this, Jess. You know what I prayed for. Why would God do this to me?”
“God didn’t do anything to you. He did it for you. He has a plan, Michael. We talked about this, remember?”
“A plan? What? To humiliate me? And how could you say God did it for me? What could God possibly have in mind? I mean, look at her, Jess. She’s…” He couldn’t even finish.
Jesse slid his gaze toward Selina. “She’s um…different, but she seems friendly enough and she’s very beautiful.”
“She’s different all right. She might be beautiful, too, but she’s nothing like what I had my heart set on marrying.”
“Look, I know you wanted someone like Rainee. But there’s only one Rainee and she’s married to our brother.”
“I know that. It’s just… Well, every time I prayed for a wife, I asked God to send me someone just like her.”
“Maybe He did.”
Michael’s brows spiked. “I don’t think so. I don’t mean to sound cruel, but look at the way she’s dressed. And the way she talks.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think the woman who wrote the letters comes closer to what I was wanting in a wife than Selina ever could.”
“You don’t know that. From what you told me, the person in the letters is a mixture of Selina and Aimee and a lot of things were exaggerated. So you have no idea what Aimee is really like except that she’s the kind of woman—”
Michael finished Jesse’s sentence. “Who would send her friend out West knowing she had lied, that she had deceived not only her, but also the man she had married. Leaving Selina to deal with the consequences.” That thought alone secured his compassion toward Selina.
Nobody deserved to be treated that way. Especially by a friend she trusted. Indignation roiled through his gut. If Aimee were here right now he’d tell her exactly what he thought of her.
“Why did I have to come up with that ridiculous plan to say my vows of marriage in front of Reverend James and sign the marriage certificate and send it to her so she could do the same in front of her minister? If I hadn’t, then neither one of us would be in this miserable situation.” He caught his brother’s gaze. “What am I going to do, Jess? I’m in love with a dream woman who doesn’t exist. And even worse… I don’t love my wife. She’s a complete stranger to me.”
All of a sudden, his stomach churned and he thought he might be sick as unbidden flashbacks of another loveless marriage came rushing in on him.
Unbeknownst to anyone, as a young boy Michael had witnessed time and again his brother Haydon’s first wife Melanie’s rage toward Haydon.
From afar Michael heard Melanie’s cruel and spiteful remarks about what a poor excuse of a man she thought Haydon was. How she resented him for bringing her to this desolate place. How she hated him and wished she had never married him. How she had never loved him and had only married him for his money and his position in society.
To this day the memory of the pain on Haydon’s face still haunted Michael. His brother’s unhappiness had crushed Michael’s young heart. His brother changed after Melanie. He was no longer his confident self until years after Melanie’s death when God had sent Rainee into Haydon’s life. Because of her, Michael now had his brother back, and Haydon was happier than Michael had ever seen him.
Michael wanted the special kind of love Haydon had found with Rainee. With all his heart, Michael believed he had—until a few hours ago. But it was fully clear to him now that his marriage to Selina was nothing but a farce and that his worst nightmare of being stuck in a loveless marriage had now come true. How had he let this happen?
Jesse squeezed his shoulder, yanking Michael from the cave of darkness his thoughts had taken him to.
“I know this is hard, Michael.”
You have no idea how hard this thing is. No one does.
“But I have faith in you that you’ll do what’s right. Keep in mind that when Rainee first came, Haydon didn’t want anything to do with her, either. He didn’t believe God was in that whole situation, yet look how it turned out. They have two beautiful children and one on the way. Listen, I’ve got to run. Hannah is waving me down. If you need to talk, you know I’m here.”
“Thanks, Jess.” Michael pulled his brother into a quick hug then watched him head toward Hannah.
“Hey, buddy.” Michael stiffened. The town heckler, Jake Lure, stepped alongside him and slapped him on the back. “Well, I guess we know who wears the pants in your family.” Jake cackled and twitched his thick blond eyebrows in a mocking gesture.
Michael clenched his fists at his sides.
Jake looked around and then leaned closer to Michael. “You know, I think I’ve seen that beautiful face somewhere before. On one of the wanted posters at the jail.” He cackled again.
Even though the man was a few inches taller than Michael’s six-foot, broad-shouldered frame, Michael found himself wanting to punch Jake. But, he refused to stoop to this man’s lower-than-dirt level.
Yet, hadn’t he already done that by judging Selina’s outward appearance, too? He had even justified his actions by reminding himself that she was not what he was expecting and it was the shock of seeing her dressed in trousers that had made him act so unbecomingly.
Thinking about how despicable his ungodly thoughts had been, he repented immediately. In that second, he decided no man or woman was ever going to get away with talking about his wife like that again.
“I’ll thank you not to insult my wife ever again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my bride.” Michael turned to leave.
“Just look for the lady in trousers.” Jake’s hooting laughter grated on Michael’s nerves, but he refused to give into the temptation to pummel the guy.
Instead, he pushed his shoulders back and headed toward Selina. “I will.” He tossed the words over his shoulder.
All the way to Selina, Michael fumed. Just who did Jake think he was, anyway? How dare he or anyone disrespect his wife like that? He may not like the way she dressed, either, but maybe that was all she could afford or had or grew up with. So who was he or anyone else to judge her?
He walked up next to Selina, standing amid a group of women who were laughing at something his wife had said. These were the very same people who when they had first laid eyes on her had shown disgust.
He slipped his arm around her shoulder. “Excuse me, ladies. You won’t mind if I steal my wife away, will you?”
“We do, but we’ll let you,” said Sadie Elder, who came out West four years before to marry Tom Elder, a widower with nine boys. She took Selina’s hands in hers. “You’re just what we needed around here, Selina. It’s a real pleasure meeting you. When you get settled, you must come by for a visit. Michael can show you where we live.” Sadie looked at Michael seeking his permission.
He nodded.
“Oh, yes, you must come by my house for a visit, too,” Mrs. Hawkins chimed in, and the other married ladies put in their requests, too.
Selina had obviously made a good impression on them. They not only seemed to accept her, outfit and all, but liked her well enough to invite her to their homes. That was a good sign. Wasn’t it?
“It’s right neighborly of y’all to invite me to y’alls homes. Iffen any of you need help, you let me know, and I’ll be there quicker than a frog snatchin’ a fly.”
They all laughed.
“Oh, Selina. You say the funniest things,” Sadie said through a chuckle.
Selina looked surprised by Sadie’s comment, then she wagged her finger at Sadie and said, “Don’t you go hurtin’ yourself liftin’ that cannin’ kettle. I’ll come by in a couple days and do it for you.” Selina glanced up at Michael and smiled. Her teeth were as white as freshly fallen snow and not a crooked one to be found. The woman really was beautiful. Judging from the way she was willing to help everyone, she must be beautiful on the inside, too. Only time would tell.
“And when that baby is ready to be birthed, I can help you. Iffen you want me to, that is. Like I told you, I helped birth many a baby.”
“Thank you so much, Selina. I feel better just knowing you’re here. I’ll see you soon then.” Sadie turned and waddled toward her husband.
Sadie, who was twenty years younger than her husband, was carrying Tom’s tenth child. Michael wondered if it would be another boy. For Sadie’s sake, he hoped it was a girl.
The loud ringing of the dinner bell jarred his attention.
“Everyone, it’s time to eat,” his mother hollered.
Each woman took a turn shaking Selina’s hand before they left in search of their husbands. Not one of them seemed to mind how heartily she returned their handshakes.
When the crowd quieted down, his mother turned her attention to him and Selina. “Michael and Selina, you get your plates first.”
Michael glanced down at his wife. “You ready?”
“Yes, sir. Ain’t had nothin’ to eat since last night. I’m so hungry I could eat a herd of lizards—skin and all.”
Lizards? The thought of eating lizards turned his stomach inside out. He hoped she was kidding. “Why haven’t you had anything to eat since last night?” He placed his hand on her back and led her toward the long food table.
“I ran outta money. Couldn’t afford none.”
Michael instantly felt horrible. “I’m sorry, Selina. I thought I sent you plenty of money to take care of everything.”
“Oh, you did. You did. But I couldn’t sit by and watch that poor widow woman strugglin’ to feed her three youngins.”
“What poor widow woman?”
“Mrs. Morrow. Her husband died and she was comin’ out West to marry up with a Mr. Clemens. From the way she tells it, he has four youngins himself. His wife died two years ago and he couldn’t keep up with them and his chores, so he placed an ad and she answered it. Mr. Clemens sent her enough money for the trip, but some polecat stole it from her. Can you believe some snake would do such an evil thing? And to a widow woman with three youngins no less. Why, iffen I’d caught him, I would have put a load of buckshot into his sorry hide to make sure he never did it again. I’m just so glad you sent me plenty enough that I was able to help poor Mrs. Morrow.”
She stopped and looked at him. Concern dotted her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll find some way to repay you. But I ain’t sorry I did it. Ain’t no way I was gonna sit by and listen to them youngins beg their mama for somethin’ to eat when I had plenty.”
What an unselfish thing she had done. To go without food so that another woman, a complete stranger and her children, could eat.
Maybe getting to know her wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.
Chapter Three
Back at the house, Selina picked up her bag to ready herself for bed. She had a good time meeting all her new neighbors. Some of them were friendly, too. But all that visiting had tuckered her out. All she wanted to do was find some place to curl up and go to sleep. She wasn’t sure where that place was, though. The barn would suit her just fine, but she knew if someone saw her there, Michael would be shamed and she didn’t want that for him.
She hoped to one day share her bed with Michael just like her mama and pa had. But that wasn’t likely to happen with the way things were. Still, she wouldn’t give up hope. Later on, during her evening prayers, she’d tell God’s ears that if there was any way for Michael to love her one day, she sure would appreciate it.
Michael. This being her wedding night and all, just thinking about him sent shivers through her. She sighed. No sense pondering on him and making herself feel even worse than she already did. She needed to place her mind somewhere other than him. And she’d start with looking for a blanket or something to cover up with.
She searched a trunk and found one. While Michael was out at the privy, she put on her patched-up nightgown, tossed herself onto the living room sofa and pulled the blanket over her chest. Surprised at how soft the sofa was, she wiggled her way down into it.
The door clicked open.
Michael stepped one foot in and stopped to stare at her.
Selina yanked the cover up under her neck. “I hope you don’t mind me helpin’ myself to a blanket.”
He shut the door behind him. “Selina, this is your home now, too, and I want you to make yourself comfortable here. And you don’t have to sleep on the sofa, my bedroom is—”
“I ain’t gonna share your bed,” she blurted. Until I know for sure you’re in love with me and not Aimee, but she didn’t voice the last part. Thinking about what she’d said, white-hot flames licked their way up her neck and into her cheeks.
With a sigh he took another step in. “What I was going to say was, my bedroom is over there.” He pointed to the door off of the living room. “If you’d like to sleep in there, I can move my stuff into one of the upstairs bedrooms. Or, if you would like more privacy, you can take one of them. Whatever you decide is fine with me.”
What? No argument? No fight about his husbandly rights? She didn’t know whether to be relieved or insulted. Considering their situation, she was definitely relieved. “I’ll take one of the upstairs bedrooms. Ain’t no sense in you movin’ all your belongings.”
He looked down at her flour sack, then back up at her. “Tomorrow, I’ll see if Leah can take you into town to purchase you some women’s shoes and material to make yourself some women’s clothing.”
It didn’t get past her none that he stressed the word women’s louder and longer than the rest of his words.
“I’m sure Mother and Leah would be more than happy to help you make a few dresses and bonnets and nightgowns and whatever else you may need.”
She sprung into a sitting position. The blanket fell from around her shoulders.
Michael’s eyes widened. He swung his attention away, looking everywhere but at her.
She snatched the cover up and tucked it back under her neck. “Just you back up your horses, cowboy. I don’t need dresses, and there ain’t a thing wrong with my clothes. Why, they’ve still got plenty of wear left in them. Besides, I don’t cotton to wearin’ dresses. They’re just too confinin’ and troublesome. You can’t even hunt in them.”
Michael’s attention flew back to her. He crossed his arms over his chest and spread his legs. His stare went clean through her, but she wouldn’t let him see that he unsettled her.
“That might be so. But no wife of mine is going to wear men’s clothing.”
“Listen here, Michael. I’ve been wearin’ them most of my life and I ain’t stoppin’ now. Men’s trousers are more practical.”
“They might be more practical, but in case it’s slipped your notice, the women around here do not wear pants. They wear dresses.”
“I ain’t other women. I’m me. And I won’t be puttin’ on airs for you or anyone else.”
His eyes slammed shut for only a moment before bouncing open. “You’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you?”
“Ain’t tryin’ to be stubborn.” She wrapped the blanket around her and stood. “But I won’t be bullied into being somethin’ I ain’t, neither.” Michael wanted her to be something she wasn’t and never would be. A lady. Tomboy was more her style. She’d been one all her life and loved it. Maybe she was stubborn. But some things were worth being stubborn about—and wearing trousers was one of them.
Before Michael could give her the wherefores about propriety and proper attire, his mouth spread into a wide yawn he couldn’t stop. After the trying day he’d had, a soft bed and sleep sounded good. So, for right now, he’d let the subject drop, but he would definitely pick it up again in the morning. “It’s been a long day, and I’m ready to go to bed. I’ll show you to your room first.”
He motioned for her to precede him up the stairs, which she did after picking up her sack. At the top of the landing, he stopped and faced her. “There are three rooms. Take your pick.”
She peeked inside the first bedroom, then the second and then the third. “Iffen you don’t mind, I’ll take this one here.”
“That’s fine.” He managed to keep his head from shaking in frustration. “Whatever you want.” Somehow he had a feeling she would take the sparsest bedroom. The smallest room with the iron-framed bed, light blue quilt and matching curtains. Only a single dresser, a night stand with a lantern, a wash bowl and basin, three paintings on the wall, and one small closet occupied the room. The other two, which were larger and decorated as nicely as the rest of the house, didn’t seem to fit her. One thing for certain, she was a simple woman who liked simple things.
“Well, good night, Selina. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Michael,” she spoke softly in that melodic voice of hers, the one that in no way, shape or form matched her masculine attire or attitude.
Trying not to think about any of it, he headed to his bedroom, undressed and slid between the new cotton sheets. He rolled onto his side and stared at the blank pillow next to him. Tonight was the night he was supposed to be sharing with the woman of his dreams. Yet he’d felt nothing but relief when Selina said she wasn’t going to share his bed.
But he couldn’t bear the idea of spending his wedding night alone, without the woman he had dreamed about for five long months. A phantom woman who now only existed in his heart and his imagination. Grief barreled through him as the death of his dream came crashing in on him. Though he was exhausted, he dragged his weary body out of bed, threw on his pants and headed out onto the porch, where he leaned against one of the posts and stared up at the stars and the quarter moon.
