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She studied his eyes, gazing at her from under his brown cowboy hat. His irises were a light silver-gray with a dark gray circle surrounding them, reminding her of a tabby cat she once had. A knowing look filled them. There was no denying it any longer.
“How did you know?”
“Put two-and-two together.”
“What do you mean?” Panic and fear settled into her spirit, knowing that if anyone in her family discovered what she was doing and why, they would put a stop to it right away. It didn’t matter that Haydon and Michael had gotten wonderful wives that way. There was no way they would let their sister traipse off to New York by herself to meet a complete stranger, even if she was twenty-four years old.
Jake’s gaze slipped to the boards at their feet. “Truth is, Leah, I saw your advertisement when I looked through the papers for the one I’d placed. We obviously posted ads for a spouse at the same time.”
Oh, no. He did know. Fear dug its claws into her chest.
“You don’t look too good. You okay?”
She nodded, then changing her mind, she slowly shook her head. “No.” She gazed up at him, imploring her eyes to show how much this affected her. “Please don’t tell my family.”
“You mean they don’t know?”
“No. I didn’t tell them. Please don’t say anything to them, Jake. Promise me you won’t.” Desperation pricked her skin.
He ran his fingers down the place that once had a thick, dark blond mustache but now only held stubble and kept repeating the action. “On one condition.” His gunmetal-gray eyes snagged onto hers.
“What’s that?” Worry nipped at the heels of her mind as she waited for his response.
“That you’ll help me pick out a wife.” He held his own package of letters up, and his lips tilted into that normally lazy, crooked grin of his. The one that really was quite endearing.
“Are you serious?”
“Yep. Sure am.”
“Why do you need me to help you do that?”
“’Cause. I don’t trust myself. When it comes to women, I haven’t had the best of luck.”
Heat rushed to her cheeks. Turning down Jake’s marriage-of-convenience proposal a couple months back had nothing to do with his luck with women but with her wanting to flee this place. “What makes you think I’ll do any better?”
“You’re a great judge of character, and you know me better than anyone else. Not only that— Women seem to have a sense about these things. Men don’t. So. Do we have ourselves an agreement or not?” He held his hand out for her to shake.
She stared at it, debating what to do, until she realized she didn’t have any other choice. Having peace in her life depended on her moving. With a short nod, she clasped his hand, and gave it a quick shake before releasing it. “Agreed.”
* * *
Jake shook Leah’s hand and plastered a smile on his face. He wasn’t kidding when he said he needed help picking out a wife. His past record had proven that. At eighteen he’d asked Gabby Marcel to marry him, but she’d said no, saying she wanted to marry Jeffrey Smith. He didn’t even know she liked the man. Jake thought Gabby was in love with him, but she’d just used him to get close to his friend. Backfired on her big time. Jeffrey wanted nothing to do with her and neither had Jake after that.
Then a few months back Leah had turned him down, too, saying she had her reasons and that it had nothing to do with him, but her.
Too bad she hadn’t accepted his proposal. He didn’t blame her for rejecting him, though. Nothing had been mentioned about love. Only about how it would be nice since they were friends and all. A friendship he treasured and didn’t want to lose. Jake’s hope at the time had been that if they did marry one day his heart would love Leah the way a man loves a woman, but right now he only felt friendship toward her. So, it was probably best she’d turned him down.
Besides, she was way out of his league, anyway. Going from a large home to a small three-room house would be hard for anyone used to living in the luxury she was accustomed to. Plus, staying where she was, Leah never had to want for anything. If she married him, she would. Oh, he could support her by keeping food on the table and clothes on her back, but there wouldn’t be much left for anything extra. And the woman deserved every good thing life had to offer. None of that mattered now, anyway. Leah had made it clear that nothing would stop her from moving back to New York. Why she wanted to go there, he had no idea.
Personally, he hated the city and would go crazy if he ever went to one again.
Literally.
His childhood had seen to that. In 1864 fire blazed throughout Atlantic City. The crowd had gone berserk trying to flee to safety and in the process he had gotten separated from his mother. The crowd trampled him, leaving him for dead at six years old. Ever since then, he had a fear of crowds. He could be around a small group of people, but he couldn’t handle being closed in a building or surrounded by people—he felt trapped. For twenty-two of his twenty-eight years he’d tried to overcome his fear. Had even made a trip back to Atlantic City. Big mistake that was. While walking down the crowded streets, suddenly everyone seemed as if they were right on top of him again, just like when he was six.
He’d felt trapped.
Closed in, even.
His heart had pounded hard and fast, his breathing came in short gasps, his arms felt heavy, his palms coated with moisture, and his head swam until his vision clouded.
The need to flee had pressed in on him.
Only when he had escaped to an open field had his heart stopped racing and his breathing returned to normal.
Even now, whenever he found himself crowded in, even by the smallest mob of people, fear stampeded over him. His only recourse was to get alone until his heart and breathing returned to normal and the fear lifted. When people asked him what was wrong, he’d make up an excuse because a long time ago, he’d learned not to tell anyone or ask for help. The few times he had he’d been made fun of and he hated how small that made him feel. For a man his size, it was hard to make him feel small, but ridicule did. The worst part of this whole thing was his phobia punctured the dream of him ever moving to New York to be with Leah.
“You do know, Jake, that I will have to bring Abby with me again. Propriety and all that, you know.” Leah’s voice snatched his mind back from the dark caves of the past. “That means she’ll know what you’re doing, too.”
“Already figured as much. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Wouldn’t do anything to ruin your reputation, even if that means having Abby know what I’m up to.” He gave a quick nod. “So be it. Besides, I enjoy your sister. Who wouldn’t? She’s a pistol.”
“She sure is. A very discreet pistol, though, I assure you.” Leah smiled and the dimples on each side of her pink lips winked.
“Well, let’s get this over with.”
“Have to put it that way?”
Leah waved her hand, “No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant...”
He placed his fingertips on her soft lips. “It’s okay, Leah. You don’t have to explain. I know what you meant. Was just teasing you.” When he realized where his fingers were, he quickly removed them.
“When do you want to start?” She fiddled with the strings of her reticule.
“Now, if that works for you.”
Leah’s gaze brushed his. She tilted her head in that cute way of hers, then stared at him as if she were considering his offer.
“Hmm.” She settled her fingertip against her lips. “I am finished in town, and Mother isn’t expecting me until later. So now will work just fine. I’ll run and go get Abby, then follow you to your place.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Leah tilted her head even farther and a blond lock slipped across her eye.
He reached to brush it away, then snatched his hand back to his side. Doing that seemed intimate somehow. A line friends didn’t cross. “Think about it, Leah. How would that look, us riding off together?”
Leah tapped her forehead. “How could I have been so dim-witted? Of course, you’re right. Thank you, Jake.”
He glanced out to the dirt street that ran right through town. “Tell you what. I’ll head on out now. You and Abby leave ten or fifteen minutes after me?”
“What time is it now?”
He pulled his pocket watch out of his vest pocket and flipped it open. “One forty-five.”
“I’m supposed to meet Abby at her friend Phoebe’s house around two. So that will work perfectly.” There were those dimples again.
“Great. See you at my place in about half an hour then?”
This smile went all the way up to her eyes. Eyes the color of a spring day dotted with clouds.
“We’ll be there.”
Unable to think of anything else to say, Jake clasped the brim of his hat, gave a quick nod and headed toward the blacksmith shop to pick up his horse.
* * *
“Phoebe!” Leah gaped at Abby’s friend, who was a little more than a year older than Abby’s seventeen. “Your wedding dress is absolutely gorgeous. You look so beautiful in it. Like Cinderella at the ball.”
Phoebe’s lips curled upward and her face turned as red as her hair. Her big green eyes were shielded when her eyelids lowered. How the sweet girl ever managed to snag Markus Donahue, the banker’s son, when she was so shy was beyond Leah, but she was glad Phoebe had. If anyone deserved a nice man like Markus, it was Phoebe.
“Tomorrow’s the big day. Are you excited?” Leah curled a stray strand of hair around her ear.
Phoebe dipped her head down and nodded. Two seconds later her head popped upward and alarm marched across her face. “You two are still coming, aren’t you?”
Leah walked over to Phoebe and grabbed her hands. “Of course we’ll be there. Nothing would stop us from coming.”
“But you know how unpredictable the weather is here in May. What if it rains or snows and you can’t get into town because the roads are too muddy?”
Horrified was the only way Leah could describe Phoebe’s face.
“Then we’ll ride the horses into town. They’ll be able to make it even if the buggy can’t.”
Phoebe’s head jerked with short, nervous nods. “Oh. Okay.”
Leah clasped Phoebe’s hands again. “We’ll be there, Phoebe. I promise. Now.” She released her hands. “Come on, Abbynormal.” Leah used the nickname she often called her sister. The one that best suited Abby’s personality. Abby was anything but normal, but Leah loved her sister for it and envied her at the same time. How wonderful it would be to be so carefree. “We need to get going.”
Abby stopped talking with Phoebe and faced her. “Why?”
“Because...” She gave Abby that look. The one that let her know she was going to Jake’s again. Something the two of them had done ever since his accident many months back when he’d fallen and hit his head. Back then, the idea of him alone and needing help had eaten at Leah until she couldn’t bear it. She was so glad Abby had agreed to go with her to help him until he had healed. During that time Leah and Jake had become great friends.
Make that the three of them. Abby enjoyed going to Jake’s farm as much as Leah did and thought it was great fun playing the role of her older sister’s chaperone. Leah was glad she found it fun, but it was necessary more than anything. If she didn’t drag her sister along, Leah could never have gone to a single man’s house alone. It would be improper and, most importantly, her reputation would be ruined.
Being seen with Jake too much in public would give people the wrong idea about the two of them. Like a wildfire out of control, all of Paradise Haven would spread rumors that they were courting. She’d seen it happen to several other couples who eventually wed or ended the whole thing in a ruinous scandal—neither of which she wanted with Jake. Besides, it wasn’t like that between her and Jake. To be sure, they enjoyed each other’s company, but neither of them had feelings that went beyond friendship.
Leah loved having a male friend as special and caring as Jake. She looked forward to their visits. Despite the fact they wanted different things out of life, he was the one person she felt she could talk to about anything.
Well, almost anything.
He didn’t know the real reasons why she had turned down his proposal and why she wanted to move. No one knew about the nightmares except for her former friend Marie. Former for two reasons—one, Marie had moved away, and two, Leah hadn’t associated with her since the day she’d confided in Marie about the nightmares and how she blamed this place for killing her father. Marie had laughed and said she was just being silly and that she needed to get over it. Oh sure, as if it were that easy.
“Ohhh.” Abby nodded, then turned to her friend. “I’d better scoot along now, Phoebe. Sister dear has places to go and things to see. But fear not, I shall see you on the morrow. You have my word.” Abby, the dramatic one in the family, grabbed her cloak, swung it around her shoulders with the grace of a queen and, with her arm outstretched holding her cloak, glided toward the door.
“Thank you so much for helping me make my dress and for putting the finishing touches on it.” Phoebe scurried after Abby and hugged her.
Abby pulled back and waved off her friend. “You are quite welcome, my dear.” Abby’s British accent imitation needed help. She sounded nothing like the Manvilles, their British neighbors back in New York City, or even like Rainee, their sister-in-law, who mixed British with Southern quite nicely. “And now, I must make haste and take my leave.” Abby swung the door open and, with a flourish, headed outside.
Leah shrugged toward Phoebe’s direction. “What can I say? You can’t help but love her.” With that, she followed Abby out the door and onto the wagon. They turned and waved goodbye to Phoebe before she disappeared into her house.
“So, we’re heading to Jake’s again.” Abby waggled her eyebrows.
“We sure are.”
“Well, then, sister dear, what are we waiting for?” Abby faced forward. “Make haste. Make haste, my dear.”
Leah shook her head. She should have never let Abby read the well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice that Rainee had given Leah years ago. Ever since then, Abby imitated the British often. She hoped Abby never found the copy of Sense and Sensibility that she kept hidden in the bottom lining of her trunk. She shuddered just thinking about how Abby would act after reading that one.
Leah wondered if Abby would follow in her footsteps.
The real Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, not the one Elizabeth Bennet thought he was before she had gotten to know him better, reminded Leah of her father. Mr. Darcy had rescued Elizabeth’s family when Lydia’s infidelity would have shamed them. He was a man with integrity, a big heart, a protector, just like her father. From the moment that realization had struck Leah, her love and respect for Mr. Darcy had her praying that someday she would find her very own Mr. Darcy—a man who represented everything her father had stood for.
“C’mon, Leah. What are you waiting for?”
“Pushy.”
“Me, pushy? You were the one who was in such an all-fired big hurry to go.” Abby nudged Leah’s shoulder.
“True. True. I hate it when you’re right.” Leah tittered and with a quick slap of the lines on her horse’s rump the buggy pitched forward. “Oh, you won’t believe this, Abbs, but Jake knows about my advertisement.”
Abby whipped her head so fast in Leah’s direction that one of her curls whacked her sister across the face. “How’d he find out?” Abby’s eyes gleamed as she searched Leah’s. Her sister loved a good story and loved to tell them, too, but she wouldn’t tell this one. She’d been sworn to secrecy.
“He started getting newspapers from all over, including back East where I placed mine. When he searched the papers to see his ad, he saw mine and put two-and-two together.”
“Oh. What are you going to do if he tells Michael?”
“He won’t.”
“How do you know he won’t? Jake and Michael are good friends. If Michael finds out, you know he’ll tell the rest of the family. And Haydon and Mother will put a stop to your plans.”
“They won’t find out because Jake and I made an agreement and shook hands on the bargain.”
“Oh, yeah? What kind of agreement?”
“Well—” she shifted toward Abby “—he won’t tell anyone if I help him find a wife. You know, help him decide which of the letters he should respond to.”
“Ohhh. This could be fun.” Her sister’s eyebrows danced.
Fun? Leah hadn’t thought about it being fun. But it just might very well be. She gave a quick flick of the leather lines to get her horse to pick up her pace. “Don’t tell anyone, Abbs. This whole thing will be our little secret, okay? Promise?”
“I haven’t said anything to anyone before, have I?” Her sister looked slighted.
