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He leaned forward even further. ‘What happened on that occasion?’
Scarlett found his penetrating stare almost too much to cope with; she had to really fight to hold his gaze. ‘He had a serious chest infection,’ she said. ‘He became wheezy, and it took a while for the antibiotics to kick in. The first lot the doctor prescribed gave Matthew an allergic reaction.’
‘But he was not hospitalised?’
‘No. I took a few days off work and treated him at home with an alternative antibiotic. He was fine in a week or so. It was a bad winter. Everyone went down with the same bug.’
‘Is he particularly susceptible to chest infections?’
She chewed her lip as she thought about the other mothers she knew at crèche and what she knew of their children. ‘No,’ she answered at last. ‘No more than the average child. Why are you asking such questions?’
He gave a little shrug, his expression giving nothing away. ‘I have missed out on three years of his life. I am just trying to fill in the gaps.’
Her grey-blue gaze hardened as it met his. ‘You could have been there from the first moment, but you chose to disbelieve me. I take it the doctor you saw confirmed my version of events?’
He let out a sigh that snagged at his throat like a mouthful of barbed wire. ‘Yes. It has now been confirmed. It is rare, but it does occasionally happen. I have had a spontaneous rejoin of my vas deferens.’
‘Do you need a DNA test to confirm Matthew as your son and not someone else’s?’
Alessandro was ashamed to admit he had thought of it—but as soon as he had seen that child he had known he was his. A DNA test would only confirm what he already knew—Matthew was his son, the living breathing image of himself and his younger brother Marco, with all its harrowing burdens and consequences.
‘No,’ he said, not meeting her gaze. ‘That will not be necessary. I have all the information I need.’ For now, he added silently. A DNA test would have to be performed at some stage, but not the one she was thinking of.
Scarlett sat opposite him, trying to push her righteous anger to one side, but she couldn’t quite manage it. She was secretly terrified he might take it upon himself to insist on regular access to Matthew.
Matthew had only known her as his chief care-giver. He hated being at crèche, in spite of the loving and well-trained staff, and on the few occasions Scarlett had been out at night the only people he liked babysitting him were Roxanne or her mother.
‘Scarlett…’He pushed a hand through the black silk of his hair and met her gaze. ‘I would like to discuss the role I want to play in Matthew’s life now that I know he is mine.’
Here it comes, she thought, her stomach twisting and turning with dread. ‘He’s only three years old,’ she said, sending him a flinty look. ‘I hope you’re not expecting him to fly back and forth like a parcel between Sydney and Milan several times a year? Because I won’t allow it.’
A frown drew his brows together. ‘I was not thinking of any such thing, not yet in any case. He is too young to be without his mother for one thing, and the other…’
Scarlett waited for him to continue, but instead he let out a sigh and got to his feet. She watched, her breath feeling as if she was drawing it into her lungs through a crushed drinking-straw, as he reached down and picked up the hospital photograph again. He stood looking down at it for endless seconds. His face side-on was like an expressionless mask, and yet she was almost certain she could see a film of moisture in his eyes as he put the frame back down and faced her fully.
‘Tell me about him,’ he said in a voice that didn’t sound like his at all. ‘Tell me everything.’
Scarlett wasn’t sure where to begin. She didn’t want to overload him with guilt, but neither did she want him to think it had been a breeze having his child without emotional and financial support. ‘He’s a lovely child,’ she said. ‘He was born at eleven in the morning and weighed seven pounds and three ounces. He’s very advanced for his age; he walked at ten months, and spoke in full sentences at eighteen, which is unusual for boys; they are often slower with language. He loves cars, as you can see, and he loves animals. I wish I could have given him more than I have, but… Well, I gave him what I could when I could.’
‘You did your best,’ he said. ‘I am amazed that you have achieved what you have while trying to raise a small child.’
‘It wasn’t always easy,’ she admitted. ‘But my mother has been down this road before, so I more or less knew what I was in for.’
Scarlett looked at his tortured expression. Seeing him finally accept Matthew as his son had been so incredibly poignant, it had moved her to tears. It would take him a few days, maybe even weeks, to realise the full extent of what he had missed out on in his son’s life so far. He was so obviously affected by the realisation that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He was doing his best to find a way to make amends, but how that was going to impact on her and Matthew remained to be seen.
‘I want an active role in his life,’ Alessandro said. ‘I know it will be hard for you to accept, but I want to be a real father to him now.’
She didn’t answer, just stood there before him with uncertainty and fear in her gaze. And no wonder, Alessandro thought. He still found it hard to believe just a thin wall of plasterboard separated him from the sleeping form of his son. The son he had betrayed by being so adamant Scarlett had lied to him.
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