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“Were they old or young?” Meredith asked.
“Both,” Danny said. “Two were just calves and one was old, losing her teeth and all. I expected her to die, though, not disappear. Why?”
Meredith thought for a moment. She was mostly familiar with the behavior of wolf dogs in captivity, but she could generalize. “Wolves do go after calves, but they generally leave cows alone. Cows don’t act like prey.”
“She’s right,” Jimmy said. “A cow tends to look danger in the eye and ignore it. Confuses the heck out of predators. Plus, for a wolf, given the size of its mouth, it’s hard to find a place on a cow to grab on to. Cows are big. Kinda like trying to bite into a whole watermelon using your teeth. Wolves prefer something a little smaller.”
Meredith stared at Jimmy in disbelief. “And you know this how?”
“I specialize in doing documentaries on wild animals and writing for Nature Times magazine. I know just as much about animals as you do.”
“I know you write for Nature Times, but wolf dogs aren’t endangered. There’s no reason for you to have researched them.”
“Wolves are endangered, so I’ve done plenty of research. When we went multimedia and started doing documentaries, we started small. The gray wolf was one of my first stories.”
She didn’t remember that, or remember that at one time Nature Times had only been a magazine. Usually she agreed with what his pieces, at least when it came to disappearing habitats and hunting for sport or seizure. But then he’d climb on his animals-belong-in-the-wild soapbox, and criticize zoos for making tigers lose their natural inclination to hunt, or making chimpanzees depressed, or forcing bears to wear silly hats and tutus.
Okay, she didn’t have to read or watch him. She’d just been drawn to. She’d loved him, after all.
And still missed him.
She’d been engaged to Danny, but it was Jimmy who had been the love of her life. And if she was being honest, he, James Henry Murphy, was the reason she was still single. No one made her feel the way he had.
Even though he’d more than once written about the cruelty and injustice that wild animals suffered in captivity, never once acknowledging that there were sanctuaries like Bridget’s Animal Adventure, which actually saved animals’ lives.
But then, he’d always been a bit tunnel-visioned, seeing what he wanted to see. Isn’t that why he’d refused to wait for her?
CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_f5032166-44a5-5f0c-85a4-df448ee857e2)
IN THE END, sitting at the table in Ray’s tiny kitchen, Meredith convinced Danny that the wolf dog had probably not been responsible for the disappearance of the calves or the adult cow. A pack of full-blooded wolves maybe, Meredith had allowed, but a lone wolf dog, no.
And not one wearing a collar and leaving no carcass.
Jimmy’d seen wolves in the wild. They were cunning, creative and callous when hungry. He did, however, agree with Meredith that calves were a more likely target. He also was somewhat sure a lone wolf could do the job, too, especially on an old or already wounded bovine.
But this hadn’t been a wolf, not really. It had been a wolf dog, the first one Jimmy’d ever seen.
He’d have to Google them when he got home tonight. Maybe little Gesippi, Arizona, would have a wild-animal story to offer, an assignment that would appease his boss—who was already acting as if Jimmy was on his way out instead of merely taking a break—and give Jimmy something to document, both in words and film.
It worried him that his last two shoots had been less than stellar. It worried him even more that his boss wasn’t phoning and asking him for new ideas.
On the other hand, Briana was actually smiling again. Something she’d not done much of during the year he’d dragged her to exotic locales. No, during their travels she’d been well-behaved but almost eerily silent. Nothing like the happy child she’d been before...
She missed her mother; she missed having a permanent home and friends; she missed having a routine. So, for her sake, Jimmy tried to be glad about being home. And in those moments when she smiled and talked a million miles a minute about her new friends, it was all worth it.
Jimmy thought of his own friends that he rarely talked to, the people that he’d allowed to slip out of his life. He was glad he’d been able to visit Ray twice since he’d been home. The first visit had been for old times’ sake. The second had been because Jimmy had realized that visiting Ray Stone was a now-or-never venture.
But both visits had been slightly off-kilter. Ray had been twitchy, insisting they sit on the porch and rarely taking his eyes from the road, though he claimed not to be expecting company. Jimmy had chalked it up to a by-product of old age.
On his first visit, neither brought up Meredith’s name, as if instinctively knowing she was off-limits. On the second visit, Ray had been a bit more forthcoming, talking about Meredith and how she was faring, and expressing some concern that she still felt she had to stay away from her home.
Gazing at her now across the table, Jimmy had to admit that Meredith was even more beautiful than he remembered.
She’d always filled a room with her personality and passion. That hadn’t changed. Back when they’d been dating during most of his junior and all of his senior year, there were moments when he couldn’t imagine his life without her. But there’d also been times when she’d almost consumed him, made him lose who he was, made him question if he could compete with her.
Which he shouldn’t have cared about because he’d loved her...but he had. His brother had never felt that type of angst. Danny would have followed Meredith anywhere, happily, without question. And he hadn’t questioned her when she’d agreed to marry him. He’d been unable, or maybe unwilling, to believe that Meredith didn’t love him.
“I’m heading home.” Danny pushed himself up from the chair, his face still stoic, his demeanor tired. Younger than Jimmy by just one year, he looked five years older.
“I really appreciate all you guys did,” Meredith said. “Grandpa, well, he’s special.”
Danny nodded even as he exited the kitchen. Jimmy wasn’t sure why he stayed; there was nothing else to say. And sitting in this kitchen with Meredith wasn’t something he should do. For her to move back to town a mere eleven days before Danny’s second attempt at marriage and just as Jimmy’s life was falling apart was a cruel fate.
At some point Meredith would challenge Jimmy about his job. He was highlighting the changing and vanishing habitats of wild animals. He was saving the world for the next generation, as Ray had taught him to do, albeit on a smaller scale. She managed a man-made habitat that put wild animals behind bars and robbed them of freedom.
If there was to be a debate, he wanted to start the round. “So, you work in a zoo?”
“You’ve been keeping track of me,” she accused.
“Someone told me last week.” Though Jimmy had already known.
“It’s a habitat, not a zoo, and a dream job,” she stated, looking him full in the face. She’d always been sure of herself. “I work with all the animals, but the wolves and the birds are my main charges. I have a wolf dog.”
“You own one?”
“No,” she corrected herself. “We have one at the habitat. I named him Yoda, so yes, I’m perfectly capable of handling one.”
“I saw that today.”
She shook her head and gazed out the window. He knew she was wondering where the wolf dog was and that she was bothered by the fact it still wore a too-tight collar.
“You’re going to search for her?”
“Not tonight, but if Grandpa’s better tomorrow, then yes.”
“Do you remember how to get around?”
“It hasn’t been that long,” she said indignantly.
“Ray says you haven’t stayed here for any length of time in ten years.”
She gave him a dirty look. Ten years ago, she’d been putting together a wedding. The I do’s would have been at the Gesippi Church; the reception would have been here at Grandpa’s. They’d not planned on a honeymoon. Neither’d had the money. Meredith must have found some money, though. She’d managed to take off right before the wedding, find an apartment in Tucson and start taking classes at the university.
He’d always been afraid to ask why she’d made the decision to accept Danny’s proposal but then to leave him right before the wedding, but maybe it was time to put the wrongs of the past behind them. Tonight, maybe he’d find that he hadn’t been to blame.
“In all these years,” Jimmy said, “I don’t think anyone, at least in our family, knows why you stood Danny up.”
She gazed at him, eyes hooded, chin jutted out in defiance. Oh, she’d apologized, said she was sorry. Had written Danny a letter explaining that she was too young and scared to get married.
She’d never acted young and scared. She’d always seemed years more mature than her age. As for scared, she’d pick up a snake before he would.
For a moment, she waffled, wanting to change the subject. But she was still the stand-up girl he remembered from his youth. She’d never played games like the other girls. She’d always known exactly what she wanted and how to get it.
“I didn’t love him, not the way you’re supposed to love the man you marry.”
“But you said yes when he proposed, you set the date, people were actually in the church waiting for the wedding to begin.”
She looked tired suddenly. Part of him wanted to reach out, move the stray strand of hair away from her eyes, see if it still felt like lightning when he touched her.
Her cheeks flushed. “When I agreed to marry Danny, I thought maybe love, the happily-ever-after kind, would grow between us, in time. But I had a conversation with someone very wise who made me realize that I was cheating myself and Danny,” she admitted. “It wasn’t fair to him. He deserved more.”
He’d always wondered if she’d gone from loving him to loving his brother. Now, hearing her say that she’d never loved Danny, he should feel a sense of freedom. Instead, he felt loss.
She looked at him expectantly, clearly waiting for a reply.
“I used to believe in happily-ever-after, too,” he admitted.
“Used to?”
Before he could answer, someone in the living room called her name. She almost knocked over the kitchen chair in her haste to exit the room.
He walked to the door and watched as she stood amidst her family, somehow apart from them, as if she believed she didn’t quite belong.
But then, he didn’t belong here, either. Jimmy made his way out the front door and to his truck. No one tried to stop him.
* * *
SUNLIGHT SPLASHED THROUGH the window. Meredith groaned. Really? Christmas was in two weeks. Surely the weather could pretend a chill. She’d slept until almost nine. Unheard of. Back at BAA, she always rolled out of bed at four, knowing she needed to get the animals ready to face the day.
Today it didn’t matter, though. Grandpa was still asleep. Last night had been a lot of excitement for him. Her, too, but some of the excitement she could have lived without.
She let him sleep a while longer, busying herself with returning phone messages; walking the property looking for the yesterday’s wolf dog, and finally by making breakfast. It was ten before she finally woke him up.
“I usually just eat cookies for breakfast,” he confessed.
She always had a big breakfast. She’d learned her first week at BAA that sometimes there was a chance for lunch but sometimes instead there was a grumpy camel to soothe, a depressed black panther to cheer up, a peacock with a injured wing to repair, or enclosure malfunctions to fix.
“A decent breakfast will do you good,” she scolded. “How do you feel?”
“Like I fell off a wagon and then it ran over me.”
“Perfect, then you’re not numb,” Meredith said, loading a plate for him. “How’s your ankle?”
“Doesn’t hurt. And where that fool dog nipped me isn’t sore at all. It’s my back that’s sore.”
“Zack made a two o’clock appointment for you. I figure we can go into town about noon, grab some lunch at the diner, and then head to the doctor to make sure you’re all right.”
Grandpa winced. “I don’t need to go into town. I’m sore. When you’re eighty-two, you get to be sore. It’s called old age.”
“If you’re spry enough to chase after a wolf dog and then fight it off with a stick, you don’t get to use old age as an excuse.” She put two plates on the table and then sat down across from him.
“I didn’t chase after that wolf dog. I heard some noises and...” His voice trailed off and for a moment Meredith wondered if he would continue. Then he added, “I thought...it was Rowdy.”
“Rowdy’s been dead for—”
“For more than a decade. I know.” He slowly folded the paper and put it next to his plate, his face looking pinched and stressed.
“You feel all right, Grandpa?”
He made a face instead of answering. Before he picked up his fork, he put his gnarled hands together and bowed his head. Meredith did the same, trying to remember the last time she’d prayed before a meal. It had been a while. She usually was too busy filling up the hours and days on her calendar to think about taking a moment to thank God for all she had.
After the amen, Grandpa took a bite, forced a smile and swallowed before saying, “I still miss that fool dog. I just knew that I’d heard something. By the time I realized how far I’d gone, there the animal was. You’d have gone looking, too, had you been here. And don’t think I don’t know that you were out there early this morning searching.”
“I got that determination from you.”
Instead of being pleased, Grandpa scolded, “I don’t want you out there wandering alone. It’s not the same kind of place it was when you were a kid.”
“I’m fine.”
“No,” he said. “You need to listen to me—take care.”
She nodded, not understanding or agreeing but knowing she had to appease him. He’d rarely looked so stern when talking with her.
Satisfied, he said, “There were too many people here last night, so I didn’t get the chance to ask. That thing I went after really was a wolf dog, huh, like Yoda?”
“Yes, I’m certain of it. She had the long legs of a wolf and I recognize the snout. I must have walked back and forth across two miles this morning, but I couldn’t find her. She’s skittish. I’ll try again tomorrow.”
“Skittish?” Grandpa asked.
“Yes,” Meredith answered. “Plus leery. You’ve heard me talk about Yoda.”
“The wolf dog you use for public relations back at BAA. Your favorite.”
Meredith always felt a little guilty when people remarked that Yoda was her favorite. She loved all the animals, even BAA’s grumpiest camel who liked to spit on her. But she and Yoda did have a special bond.
“Obviously, you managed to get him to trust you.” Grandpa finished his orange juice, but he’d only eaten a tiny corner of of the hash browns she’d prepared, maybe two bites of one sausage, and he’d scrambled the eggs a bit more so she’d not notice he’d not even tried to eat them.
Hmm...
“He was my first assignment. Somewhere, under all Yoda’s fear, was a dog who wanted to be loved.”
Grandpa pushed his plate away. “You always had a way with animals. Remember Blackie the cow?”
“I remember her following me around.”
“She trailed behind you whenever you were on horseback. Your grandma and I always considered Blackie somewhat of a guardian. We thought if you fell off, she’d drag you home with her teeth. Now, finish telling me about Yoda and wolf dogs.”
“Well, your visitor looks a lot like Yoda, maybe a bit bigger. I figure she’s at least half wolf. If I had to guess, I’d say that she was here searching for her owner.”
