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âThere you go,â said Lady C, voice brighter. âThings are off to a jolly good start. All we need to do is talk through some simple recipes.â
Which we did, for what felt like hours. The trouble was, Iâd never baked a cake and bought pastry ready-made. I got white sauce out of a jar and mistook broccoli for cauliflower. Finally, Lady C gave up and said sheâd call me early the following day. Overnight, sheâd study her cookery books, determined to find some impressive dishes that looked more complicated than they actually were.
My stomach gurgled loudly. I wasnât used to missing lunch and suddenly craved a kebab with a triple chocolate milkshake. Someone rapped at the door. I smoothed down my polo shirt.
âEnter,â I said, my voice a bit wobbly. Perhaps theyâd sussed out my fake collapse.
The door opened. Honey curls appeared and Edward walked in with my suitcase.
âYou look better,â he said, a brief flash of relief in his eyes. He put down my luggage. âNo doubt Kathleen will insist you have some of her Scotch Broth.â
âThank you, Cousin.â My cheeks burned. âUm, apologies for beforeâ¦â
âLetâs hope it doesnât happen again. Health problems donât make for good television. The Croxleys are old school. We donât get illâcertainly not in public.â
Huh? For a second, my shame evaporated! âThanks for the concern,â I said, unable to hide a strong hint of sarcasm that Iâd never heard Abbey use.
âYou might mean that when you hear Iâve persuaded Gaynor to cut that unsavoury scene from tomorrow nightâs show.â
Was he bonkers? That was good telly. âUm, Teddyâ¦â
He scowled.
âEdward⦠Thatâs just the sort of footage that makes a reality show â according to my lodger, Gemma,â I hastened to add. âSheâs a big fan of that genre. From what I can gather, itâs the dramatic bits that gain viewers. Itâs not a serious illness and my, um, medication helps. Donât edit it out on my behalf.â
âI didnât, Abigail. Itâs to uphold the family reputation.â
âItâs Abbey,â I said, meeting his scowl.
âThroughout history, Croxley women have been strong,â he said and rubbed the back of his neck. âThey are stoic in the midst of war, resourceful during economic downturns, uncomplaining in the face of diseaseâ¦â His voice wavered. âYou only had to see the way my mother carried herself during her last months. It does our image no good to have you drop to the floor because you⦠you felt out of sorts.â
It could have been some serious brain condition, for all he cared. Yet my fists didnât curl for long as I reminded myself that I had been acting, plus Iâd noticed how the mention of his mum made his chin give a teeny wobble.
âYou must miss the Countess terribly,â I said. âWhen did sheâ¦?â
âDie?â His body stiffened. âIâm sorry that part of our family history has slipped your memory. Or perhaps your father never found it important enough to explain.â
Of courseâAbbey would have at least known that. Urgh. Poor bloke. My stomach twisted really tight.
âNo⦠I meanâ¦â I cleared my throat. âI was just going to ask: when did she first receive the diagnosis?â I guessed sheâd had the Big C. âFather didnât give me many details and, as you knowâ¦â blagging for my life, here â⦠with the estrangement between our parents, attending the funeral proved to be, sadly, quite impossible.â
âGranted.â His cheek twitched. âFrom start to finish, the cancer took three years to take her from Father and me. Two years next month sheâs been gone. Mother was only fifty-five.â
A lump rose in my throat as Edwardâs eyes looked all dull. Wow. How tragic. Nowadays, fifty-five was like the new forty. And if anyone knew what life was like without a mum it was me.
âHow old was she when your parents married?â I tucked a loose dyed blonde curl behind my ear. The Earl must have been a right sugar daddy.
âTwenty-three, I think. Father was forty-two.â
We sat in silence for a few seconds, before I rummaged in my handbag.
âMy hairbrushâit was in here earlierâ¦â I must have looked a right mess and totally unladylike. With a sigh, I pulled out all the pins, and locks of hair dropped around my face. Lady C would not have been impressed.
âHere,â said Edward in a gruff voice as he approached and slipped an elastic band from his wrist. He sat on the bed, turned me away from him and deftly twisted my hair at either side before tying it all together at the back with the elastic band.
âUmâ¦thank you so much,â I said and turned back to him, wondering why tingles ran up and down my spine.
âI used to do that for Mother,â he said in a quiet voice. âEspecially at the end, when she was bed-bound.â He stood up and cleared his throat. âKathleen will be up in a minute. Please be in formal dress and downstairs for seven sharp at the latest. Viscount Hamilton-Brown and his family will be here at six-thirty for drinks.â The door shut behind him.
What an oddball he was â one minute so gentle, the next abrupt and stand-offish.
I leapt off the bed to gaze out of the window. My bedroom was at the back of the house and looked down onto the cutest courtyard with fancy flower pots and intricate metal benches. Jean stood in the ornamental gardens, weeding flower beds. Nick was further away, working in a regimented vegetable patch. To the left was the maze Abbey had mentioned and in the distance was a forested area, just in front of which was⦠I squintedâ¦grey headstones, fenced off. Ahaâthe family cemetery.
My eyes headed back to Nick. He looked shorter than Edward, with a stockier build and more cheerful face â less typically attractive than my supposed cousin, but there was a certain charisma, an air of being confident with women.
He called out something to Jean. She laughed and he grinned back. Nick would need a sense of humour if he was going to agree to my plan. How on earth was I going to catch the gardener alone and put forward my mega idea ASAP, i.e. before dinner tonight?
Another knock at the door interrupted my plotting and Kathleen entered with her yummy broth. Weird it was, calling her by her first name while she addressed me as Miss Croxley, but Lady C had drilled into me that etiquette about names and titles was especially important with staff. So, after Iâd done my best to convince her I felt fine and there was no need to worry, we talked about the eveningâs dinner. Like a nanny, Kathleen hovered until Iâd cleared the soup bowl and, thanks to her warm down-to-earth chat, tension seeped out of my shoulders and my bedroom began to feel more homely. For the first time I felt I could cope with two weeks living in this building.
After she left, I took a leisurely shower and changed into one of Abbeyâs smart black dresses. Its round neckline was modest but low enough to show a little shoulder. Freakily, it went down to the ground, covering every inch of my legs, although it had always looked kind of classy on Abbey. At least it had short sleeves, otherwise I might have really fainted from the heat.
I pinned up my hair again and put on Abbeyâs crystal necklace and matching earrings. I applied a small squirt of perfume and a subtle shade of eyeshadow, just like my best bud would. It was six-fifteen. My mouth felt dry. Ahead of me was a whole evening of pretending to be someone I wasnât. Inhale. Exhale. Feeling calmer, I left my bedroom and headed along a high ceilinged corridor, actually feeling rather grown-up and glamorous. Halfway down the winding mahogany staircaseâyay!âI bumped into Nick!
âMiss Croxley,â he said and gave a smile. Flecks of soil covered his T-shirt. âNice to see youâve recovered,â he said in a concerned voice.
âThank you. Kathleenâs broth has revived me.â I cleared my throat. âActually, I was hoping to catch you.â
He raised one eyebrow.
âAbout earlier,â I said. âMe pretending that you and I spent time together last yearâ¦â
Nick held up the palm of his hand. âPlease, Miss Croxley. I get it. Weâve all been briefed about how we need to make it look as if you are a regular visitor.â
âItâs not just that⦠Can I be quite frank? May I speak to you in confidence?â
âNo problem, Miss.â Nickâs eyes twinkled and I couldnât help smiling â which was great. Iâd always been won over by blokes who could make me laugh. A good sense of humour beat looks for me every time. I mean, there was only so much a six-pack could do after a crap day at work, whereas a jokeâ¦
âThank you, Nick. Itâs just that⦠According to Roxy, Applebridge Hall isnât the favourite to win. She suggested⦠Please do excuse the phraseâ¦that somehow the Croxley familyâ¦forgive me, but, um, sex things up.â
His eyes widened.
A bubble of laughter tickled inside my chest. Oh, Godâmustnât laugh. In fact, thinking about it, this wasnât funny at all. I was putting myself on the line here â my true identity might well and truly be rumbled. âI know â itâs a terribly crass idea, but I want to do everything possible to help my family. So, I was thinking that, wellâ¦â How would he take this? Be offended? Amused? Or suss out straight away that Iâm no real aristocrat? â⦠a secret affair between a Croxley and a member of staff might improve ratings.â
Nickâs mouth fell open. âAre you proposing, Miss, that you and Iâ¦?â
My heart raced. âExactly. It would be purely for the cameras, of course, and more suggestion than action. It pains me to resort to such tactics, but my familyâs heritage is at stake.â
I waited, imagining the disdain of Edward if heâd been listening, hoping that I was right in thinking that good-humoured Nick was the opposite of judgemental. The gardener stared for a moment and scratched his unshaven chin, which was kind of sexy and something youâd never find on Lord Clean-cut, Edward.
âThe Baron of Marwick sure is tough competition,â said Nick. âHe also announced his plans to win this afternoon. The Castle has been set up to host weekend medieval hen and stag nights, with banquets held in the dungeons. I bet theyâll get pretty crazy. During the week, heâll host corporate team-building trips, incorporating archery and shooting. It all soundsâ¦â
I sighed. âAwfully sexy.â Oops â that wasnât something Abbey would ever say.
âYeah, but⦠A Croxley mixing it up with a gardener? Someone who works on the land?â His eyes narrowed. âYou canât possibly be related to Lord Edward if youâre suggesting such a thing.â
I swallowed hard. Surely I hadnât misjudged Nick so badlyâ¦
âYouâd better show me some form of ID, Miss,â he said, âbefore I say something to the Earl.â
LORD EDWARDâS E-DIARY
Saturday 1
September
âCommentsâ
6.15p.m. Thank you, but no, Lovehotnobleârubber trim would probably be equally uncomfortable.
Now, duty calls â I must hurry to greet our guests. Just a quick word to say that Abigail⦠How long Iâve waited to see her face. I mean, erm, of course, itâs only been months since our last meeting, but nevertheless⦠To have her here finally⦠At Applebridge⦠Itâs smashing.
Right. Anyway. Really must go. Dinner awaits.
Chapter 5 (#ulink_0eb9d863-14ff-5697-a2eb-db6ed5c3ae06)
Nick and I couldnât stop laughing. Mega phew! For one minute I really believed heâd seen through my disguise and was after a peek at my passport.
âDesperate times call for desperate measures,â I said eventually. âBut honestly, Nick, I perfectly understand if you think this ideaâ¦improper.â After all, laughs aside, this was all an act to me but it was Nickâs real life â he could lose his job.
I caught sight of a designer logo on the bottom of his T-shirt and recognized his cologne as an expensive brand Iâd once sniffed when out with a boyfriend. Nick struck me as a bit glam for a gardener.
âConsider me in, Miss,â he said.
âYouâre sure?â I raised my eyebrows, giving him one last chance to back out. Although I could sense that, unlike Edward, a major drive in Nickâs life was fun; I reckoned we would really get along.
âOne hundred per cent!â he said. âHow do you suggest we get things started?â
âSlowly.â I backed up against the crimson-painted wall, as Nick had leant forward to keep our voices and plans ultra secret. âPerhaps a look here, a touch there â although, having said that, we only have two weeks.â Footsteps sounded from the bottom of the staircase.
âBetter get things moving, then,â whispered Nick. âA friend of mine knows a Z-list celebrity who trades off winding up photographers that heâs having all sorts of affairs. His specialty is this dud kiss â I can show you if you like. Weâll need to practiceâ¦â
Before I knew it, heâd placed a hand over my mouth and bowed forward to snog his knuckles. But still, it wasnât a bad ideaâfrom behind him it must have looked mega realistic. And Nick did smell good. It was a while since Iâd been this close to a man, especially one who had no ulterior motive. With easy-going Nick, it felt kind of comfortable, untilâ¦. uh oh! I could hardly breathe now, seeing as heâd taken me by surprise and Iâd had no time to fill my lungs with air.
âUnhand her, you scoundrel!â hissed Edward, whoâd appeared from downstairs. He climbed the steps towards us, two at a time, appearing even taller than usual. Nick backed off immediately and I gasped for breath.
âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing, man?â Eyes blazing, Edward grabbed the gardenerâs shoulder. âPack your things this instant and leave. I wonât have you disrespect my cousin!â
âLook, Edward,â I said, heart thumping, âlet me explainâ¦â Wow, no one had ever rushed to my side to protect me. My brothers and dad thought me well capable of looking after myselfâwhich I was. But still⦠This mansion must have brought out the damsel in me!
A few minutes later a snarl still crossed Edwardâs lips as he stared at Nick. âTell me that again, Cousin. And youâd better hurry upâ¦â He glanced at his watch. âItâs almost six-thirty. Our dinner guests have been shown in and are waiting for us.â
âNick, um, used to be a dental technician,â I said, repeating the rapidly made-up excuse while trying not to ogle my supposed cousin in his tux. âOne of my teeth was hurting and Nick very kindly agreed to take a look.â
Knights in shining armour were all very well, but jeez, Edward obviously didnât believe in the process of verbal or written warnings before firing staff members. Although it was kind of sweet. My heart still beat madly. Iâd always found loyalty to family and friends mega attractive.
I stared from Edward to Nick, who stood like two spitting hyenas. Perhaps they had more in common than I suspected. Yet, heroics aside, I reckoned Edward would be much harder to live with than laidback, up-for-a-laugh Nick.
âYep, Miss Croxleyâs, erm, got an ulcer,â said the gardener and folded his arms. âSeems like Your Lordship got the wrong end of the stick. So, if youâll excuse me, I must change into my outfit to help out at dinner.â Nick turned to me and winked. âIâd gargle with salt water, miss,â he said, and disappeared up the stairs.
âWas he bothering you?â said Edward.
âNot at all.â I moved away from the wall and brushed down my dress.
âStay away from Nick,â said Edward. âHeâs a shifty chap.â
âWith respect, Cousin, who are you to order me around?â Well, Abbey often demonstrated that being a lady wasnât about being a doormat. It was awesome, listening to her on the phone if someone dared call pretending to be our energy company or acting as if they could give her a better mortgage deal.
Edwardâs eyes narrowed. âThereâs something in his expressionâa total lack of respect.â
Yeah, well, not everyoneâs in awe of the aristocracy.
âRight, Abigail, letâs go downstairs,â he said, his tone bringing an abrupt end to the incident. âViscount Hamilton-Brown and his family have waited long enoughâ¦along with the camera crew and production staff,â he added, a hint of resignation tainting his voice.
I took a deep breath. This dinner party was the first real test of whether I could behave like a lady. If I couldnât get through this evening without embarrassing myself, then there was no point carrying on with the whole charade. We walked down to the ground floor and came to a door at the front right hand side of the house. It seemed strange, Nick going to the top floor to change, but Lady C had explained that, despite the phrase âupstairs and downstairsâ, at different points in history it was nothing strange for servants to live âup in the godsâ. In fact sheâd crammed a lot of information into a few days, including a summary of European royals â ooh, of all the places to live, glam Monaco was now top of my list.
âThatâs the Low Drawing Room,â said Edward. âPerhaps you remember it from your last visit.â
âCousinâ I was only nine.â Without asking, I ducked inside for a moment and spied furniture with carved animal legs â how amazinâ! And just look at the mega detailed fireplace and classy chandelier⦠However, the spooky grandfather clock creeped me out and seemed better suited to the set of a haunted house horror film.
On closer inspection, I could see that the rugs were worn and wall carvings chipped. Plus the tiled floor was cracked, the tapestries faded and one corner of the ceiling showed signs of damp. It was like stepping back in time, what with no telly or computer and no comfy bean bag or gaming chair to chill out on.
âThis used to be where the Croxleys received run-of-the-mill guests,â he said. âVIPs were received upstairs, in the High Drawing Room.â
âLike who?â I said.
âDepends on the eraâ military men, politicians, foreign statesmen, people from the world of entertainment⦠Noel Coward, the playwright, visited my great-grandparents â like him, they adored jazz.â
We left the room and made our way down a dark mahogany-panelled corridor, eventually coming to another door, on the right.
âThat leads to the library,â said Edward, âwhich is oppositeâ¦â we entered a room on the left ââ¦the Drake Diner.â
Wow. It stretched across the back of the house, with patio doors opening onto the cute courtyard. I gawped at the oak panelling all the way up to the ornate ceiling and admired the family coat of arms and gold-framed landscapes⦠Iâd never been in a place like this without a ticket and tour guide. Feeling as out of place as a pop star at the Proms, I fiddled with my watch. Edward glanced sideways.
âYou look, um, quite satisfactory, Cousin,â he said. âCome onâlet me introduce you to our friends.â
Jeez, Edward was in no danger of overdoing the compliments! But I was beginning to realize that, with him, less was more. And at least he was no different with anyone else. This included the gushing Mrs Viscount â yes, I really did call her that â well, Iâd never come across the word, apart from when Dad used to buy these wrapped minty chocolate biscuits. How was I supposed to know it was âViscountessâ? Edward announced that her brooch was âan interesting sizeâ and then commented on the Viscountâs âunusualâ tie. Yet a large dollop of charm did appear when he talked to their sophisticated daughter, the Honourable Henrietta Hamilton-Brown. Edward admired her brunette hair, swept up into a high bun. He said it looked âdelightfulââthen ruined it by chatting to her about the state of the Euro. Borrrrrring.
âItâs super to meet some of your wider family, James,â said the Viscountess to the Earl as we sat at the long dining table in padded tapestry chairs.