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TWO PLAYS. MAIDEN FOREST. THE ADVENTURES OF YUMI
TWO PLAYS. MAIDEN FOREST. THE ADVENTURES OF YUMI
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TWO PLAYS. MAIDEN FOREST. THE ADVENTURES OF YUMI

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Alexey. Yep! [He does duck lips.] A duck hunt!

Venya. Yes! Yes. We are ducks, decoy ducks.

Venya and Alexey quack, imitate ducks with their walk and movements. Meanwhile, Tatyana approaches the gate, enters Fyodor’s garden plot, and walks towards the house. The men don’t see her.

Tatyana. Hello there!

Venya. Oh! It worked! Hello there!

Alexey. Hello, mysterious stranger.

Fyodor. Tatyana. I’m glad you dropped in. May I introduce my friends: Donald Duck and Launchpad McQuack.

Alexey. Alexey and Veniamin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Venya. Tatyana, enchantе! My friends call me Venya.

Tatyana. Nice to meet you, jolly fellows.

Fyodor. Are you here for a reason?

Venya and Alexey exchange quizzical looks.

Tatyana. I’m going grocery shopping in town. Just came by to ask if you need anything.

Fyodor. No, I think we are good.

Ignatych enters the garden plot, walks towards the terrace.

Ignatych. Hello, summerfolk! Happy Pentecost Sunday!

Tatyana. Hello, Mikhail Ignatych. Same to you.

Fyodor. Hi, Ignatych. How’s retired life treating you?

Ignatych. Everything is fine, but it’s not something to envy. Have you heard the news? The word is that they want to raise the retirement age. To sixty-five years old for men. And to the gills for women.

Venya. Codswallop, I say! People don’t even live this long.

Alexey. They want to raise it and they will. And we will live a European life.

Ignatych. Uh-huh. A European life. And those who don’t make it to retirement will be cremated and continue working inside hourglasses.

Venya steps aside towards the house, paces out the distance from the gazebo to the house, then from the porch to the directional signpost. Fyodor takes the beer bottle and pours the beer into a clean mug.

Fyodor. Help yourself, Ignatych. Fresh and cold.

Ignatych takes the mug and drinks.

Fyodor.[To Tatyana.] I remembered: Buy a loaf of dark rye bread, please, would you?

Tatyana. Alright. I’ll get it here tonight.

Ignatych puts the empty mug on the table.

Ignatych. Here’s what I’ve come to tell you, Fyodor. I went to get some water from the well this morning. And as I was going back, I saw three men standing in the next street. One of them was Ivan Moray. He got out of jail this spring. Another one was someone with a false gold tooth capping. And the third one… I’ve immediately recognized him: It was Artyom, your stepson.

Fyodor. Artyom? That’s odd.

Alexey. What a surprise!

Ignatych. I’m sure it was him. I have a good memory for faces.

Fyodor. He must have got parole.

Tatyana. Fyodor, isn’t it dangerous? You told me that Artyom threatened you.

Fyodor. Let’s see them try to come here. I have enough bullets for all of them.

Alexey. You can’t shoot down all the fools.

Ignatych. I’ve deliberately walked past Moray’s house now. All clear.

Fyodor. Thank you, Ignatych.

Tatyana. Maybe they left?

Ignatych. Maybe they did. Who knows what these junkies are up to. Fyodor, just keep in mind that your stepson is roaming free with some crooks in tow. Take care!

Ignatych leaves.

Scene 4

Twilight. Moray’s house.

Natalia, Khlora.

Khlora. I’m scared, Natasha. I am so scared…

Natalia. Khlora, it’s too late to change your mind.

Khlora. I didn’t sign up for murder!

Natalia fetches a slap across Khlora’s face.

Natalia. Shut up, you fool of a woman. Are you suicidal? Chopper won’t just let us go.

Khlora. Chopper, this god damned cop, did schmooze you too. Are you fearing for your daughter’s life?

Natalia. I’ll go to any lengths for the sake of my Svetlana. Any.

Khlora. Oh please, Natasha, let me go. Honest to God, I won’t tell anyone!

Natalia. God can hardly help us now.

Khlora. What should we do then?

Natalia. Listen, Khlora. Just do what you should do.

Khlora. It’s terrifying.

Natalia. You will get some money, find a good hospital for your father. Think of yourself too. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!

Khlora. It’s like jumping into the deep end.

Natalia. Here, take it. You are going to add one tablet to Veniamin’s drink. He stared at you so longingly this morning.

Khlora. A funny old chap. [She takes the tablets and puts them in her pocket.]

Natalia. I will handle Alexey. We will get the job done and make enough money for years ahead. Chopper delivers on his promises.

Khlora. Chopper is a douchebag. A werewolf! Why did Ivan even consort with him?

Natalia. Don’t be afraid. Chopper is dancing to someone else’s pipe too.

Khlora. If only I knew who is the boss.

Natalia. The less you know, the longer you live. We’ll put those old men to sleep and you and Moray will get your fair share. You will be able to skip this town forever. And I will get my daughter back.

Khlora. Easier said than done. And what if those old guys die? This would make me a sinner.

Natalia. There is no repentance without a sin.

Khlora. And if we repent, will we be saved?

Pause.

Natalia. Have you already told Moray?

Khlora. [She lays her hands upon her belly but quickly takes them off.] No. Ivan doesn’t know anything.

Natalia. It’s for the best. You will tell him the good news when it’s all over.

Khlora. He swears by God that he loves me. A funny little fellow.

Natalia. Think about your future, Khlora.

Khlora. No one ever loved me.

Natalia. You’ve got a chance to hit the jackpot.

Khlora. They all just used me.

Natalia. Soon you will take everything you ever wanted from life and even more!

Khlora. But Ivan loves me.

Natalia. He does, he does. And he will love your baby too.

Khlora. I will help Ivan. I’ll only do it for our baby. Not for the sake of money. But for the sake of our brighter future.

Chopper and Slav enter.

Chopper. [To Natalia.] So?

Natalia. All good.

Chopper. It’s time.

Slav. [To Natalia.] Mind you don’t screw up.

Natalia. Not my first rodeo.

Chopper. [Taking out his phone and making a call.] Frost, the whores are ready.

Everyone leaves.

Scene 5

Late evening. Fyodor Kolosov’s summer cottage. Solar-powered lanterns light up the paths. There is a light in the windows of the first floor covered by curtains. The summer terrace is illuminated by the warm light of a Chinese lantern.

Venya is sitting at the table on the terrace. Khlora is standing next to him with a glass in her hands. There are shish-kebabs, snacks, and bottles with beverages on the table.

Venya. I am so glad you came back to us, Khlora.

Khlora. Pour me some more wine.

Venya.[Pouring himself and Khlora more wine.] I already got pretty pickled though.

Khlora. Your friend has a beautiful house.

Venya. Fyodor always had a good taste in everything. You should see his beer mug collection!

Khlora. Are you married?

Venya. I’m playing the field.

Khlora. Do you make a lot of money?